Kwothe28

I think its important to separate standards and preferences. Standards are something that you shouldnt back off. They are must-haves and deal breakers. For exampled, shared values, healthy conflict management, honesty etc. While preferences are something negotiable. Something that is icing on the cake but also something that you wouldnt insist as the cake would be sweet regardless. For example height, job title, buying you a lot of gifts etc. My friend broke up his 8 year old relationship recently. They were living together for 3 years. The final straw was that she admitted that she is not ready to have kids even though they were trying for one. There were a lot of other issues but he swiped them under the rug because they at least were functional. Anyway, he is extreme example. But, a good reminder what happens when you ignore big stuff. Same with opinions and interests. Would you be with somebody who doesnt have exactly the same political opinion as you? Who cheers for different team then yours? Those are all some things to figure out. And maybe not be rigid on some. The other person shouldnt be the exact copy of us. But somebody who would have enough positive qualities to compliment our lives. So you both grow better.

So I wouldnt repeat So again, the more and more you describe it, it just looks worst and worst. Because you arent so good match and what you have been feeling was normal for somebody who had "rose colored glasses". Now that you dont, you re starting to see the real her. Low self esteem, manipulative etc.

You met a player and it turned out exactly how its suppose to when you met one. What else is new?

I dunno, paranoid behavior about cheating would be enough for me to just go away and change the number lol Also are you living together? Why are you giving him money for things?

Something I found out is that we cant stop people from hitting the head against the wall if they want to do that. No matter how hard we try. Your sister is a messy person by itself. And they have a knack in finding equally messy people as partners. There is no "cure" for that. She is not a kid, she is a 32 year old adult responsible for her actions. Even if anything happens to her, it wont be your fault. It would be hers. You are right to be worried as she does mess up her life quite a bit. But again, I dont think you can stop her hitting that wall. That is her decision.

People who "badmouth" other people would have no problems doing it to you too. She seems like a horrible friend and a horrible human being. So yes, you shouldnt associate with somebody like that.

Yes. You are not for each other. Let me explain. See, what you are feeling is fairly normal. You found somebody who you have enough in common and fell for her. So, you are watching all that with "rose colored glasses". You think you found somebody like you. And maybe you did. But if you would look further, I think you would found way more stuff where you are just incompatible. The other thing is, the other person shouldnt be an amalgam of ourselves. Because, as you can see, in lots of cases it just doesnt work. Because we, by design, arent a perfect human beings. So we sometimes need somebody who is more diametral from us in certain things. That is why they say "Opposites attracts" and stuff like that. For example, introvert wouldnt need another introvert because they would just get stuck at home and do nothing. They would need somebody bit more extroverted to push them to do things. Same in your case. When you "burst" you would need somebody who would calm you down. And not somebody who would burst back and use manipulation tactics such as "I am leaving you" so she would manage to get her own thing. That is not a recipe for a successful relationship. You are just not right for each other.

I think youve been more then fair in the divorce. Anything he does after that is on him. He cant legally go for your money(as divorce was finalized) so let him do whatever he wants and face the consequences of his actions.

Possibly. According to your other thread you both need way more maturity in handling things. Why dont you just block him on everything?

Nah. He is probably having or at least trying to have sex with both. See, liers and cheaters stay liers and cheaters. He peft his previous relationship for a work colleague. So you cant expect loyalty from somebody like that. As soon as he finds somebody else, he will leave you, that is not a one time thing, its a pattern. And it seems that its already happening.

I have an aunt who is like that. She likes to meddle so she always has comments like “OMG when are you gona get married so I could dance at the wedding” and similar. Anyway, I like to think family and friends mean well to you. But that they dont think how their comments rub on other person. For example you took her saying how she wanted to get pregnant before its too late(which isnt aimed at you) as an insult because you think its aimed at you not having a family on your own and you are older then her. While in actuality, that comment might not be a jab at you. See, people are not empaths. Heck, many people lack empathy and are self- absorbed. They dont think how their comment will rub you wrong not because they want to rub you wrong, but because they just want to say something. She wanted to boast how she is pregnant again. That is about it. Maybe just wanted to ask about your job or to mention how you lost your dogo because she didnt said sorry. But it rubs you the wrong way because it comes out wrong to you and you think its said to hurt you. Which I dont think its her ultimate intention. She just doesnt think how her words came out to you.

Highly irrelevant when it comes to men. You will "catch more flies" if you invested in looks then in a journalistic degree that will only get you debt in lots of cases. Dont get me wrong, I like people with degrees. But in dating department that really doesnt help you much. Invest into gym, some new clothes, photoshop etc. That would get you more success in dating then college education ever will. Heck, it would probably help you in your job. Every journalist today is also "Instagram influencer" or whatever. Also, you have friends but I dont really see you wrote anything you do for social activities. Where do you plan to meet somebody? By interviewing them? You would need to change that part too if you want to meet somebody. You have to create an opportunity to meet somebody. Which you only did by a) being at school and having a crush on a teacher b) going on dating apps Second one is fine but as you can see, it doesnt really yield any results. You need to work on that part more. Because you cant expect that opportunity to meet somebody just fell into your lap. Sure, it happens to some people. But some need to do heavy work on that department. You seem to be that.

First of, what kind of a slob he is when he has old receipts in his passenger seat? Or were you going through something else and found it? Second of all, why are you doing a police investigation on him for something like that? You are either a paranoid who needs a therapy or just have to get out of there if he really gives you the reasons to believe he is cheating.

I would say yes. There is no harm in meeting coworkers and talking. It will get you more comfortable with them around and if you ever need help at work, you could branch out and get some help from them. However, I do need to warn you. No man EVER, is that attentive to details unless they like somebody. We barely even remember what we had for breakfast lol. That guy likes you. A lot. So, be cautious about that fact. Workplace romances, even if they are one- sided, can be messy.

Reminds me on one of my first meets when she hit me with "How did your last relationship ended?" We didnt ever talked about past relationships and I avoid even asking until few dates pass, so still dunno if its a trick question for her to gauge my past relationships or something. We knew for like 5 minutes and it was really light hearted until then lol

Given that a lot of todays dating is online, I would not only recommend speaking but also doing a video call and seeing the other person. Lots of times it happens that people get “bamboozled” by an old or just filtered pics. So its better to not only confirm you are not talking to a scammer but also physically seeing them. I didnt had those issues. Though I always at least do a social media add so you can at least see with who you are talking to. But know a lot of people who did had those issues. Lost has an extensive thread about his experiences. And a lot of people there also said the same.

What a roller coaster. From just asking how to support boyfriend in his grievances to finding out he never got over her to him hiring a sex worker and cheating to even abusing you and you self- harming yourself. Not only he has an influence to your mental health, he is also indirectly and directly harming your physical health. Ex girlfriend is completely irrelevant in whole this story. When there is a burning question of your own health if you stay in this relationship.

Please stop!!!! Because of you Ellen Pompeo still needs to do that wretched show and she is tired. Release her of the burden please! It has 21 seasons counting the one they will film. 21! Anyway, one thing at the time, as they say. What Ive found out is that lots of things that needs fixing are connected. For example, finding some work and fixing your income, as well as finishing your studies, will make you less stresful. Which in turn will make you stop “binge eating”. I also have time management issues. So found writing lists that I can cross after I finish some task very helpful. So could be a nice idea for you too. For example 1) eat healthy breakfast 2) Send CV on few places 3) study for an hour etc.

Same man i pressume Guy is literally the abuser. And you have considered of ending things. Getting into something that would tie you moneteraly with him would be even more detrimental for you. You are suppose to cut ties with the abuser, not make more ties so you cant get out.

Lots of people do that one where they take embrio water and do tests on it. My friends did it and my sister did too. It shows if there is any genetic anomalies I think. You can done them before 3rd month pregnancy so in the unfortunate case of them finding something, you would still have a chance to do abortion if you want that. As somebody who worked with kids with disabilities, its much better solution to know and at least have a choice. Its very life ruining for parents. However, those tests are really expensive here(think around 700 dollars) and not covered by health insurance. So lots of people just dont opt for them. OP does have a rich “boyfriend” so at least that wont be an issue maybe.

Really? Really? Its not that special because she did the same thing for somebody that should also be a part of a family? Are we really going there Alex? I get that you dont like your brothers girlfriend and that your mother isnt exactly affectionate human being and one of the reasons(maybe even main one) that you are like you are. Like a kid looking for her approval. But that is not the reason to be jelly and cry how your mommy doesnt love you as much as your new future Sil. You dont have to cater to anyone. Not to your mother, not to your brothers girlfriend, not to anyone. You are perfectly fine with making your own meals and making your own vacation plans without them. You dont need their approval for anything. But since you dont get that, you are stuck in this circle where you are like a perpetual child asking for your moms approval for everything. She doesnt like your cooking? Well tough luck, you are still doing it. You dont like their vacation plan? Dont go and plan something else. You are 30+ year old woman. You need to be your own person and not dependant on what your mommy says to you.

Apologies. You all have kids my age or little younger, so you are all “boomers” to me lol. Especially when it comes to technological stuff and the internet. I mean I like to think that I am in tune because of the job I do but even I am behind some stuff. So there is a disparity there. I do like that you and others assume his(if its even a man) intentions are good. But sadly lots of them like to “troll” just because. This one is fairly obvious one. Some even think that British girl that comes every now and then with the story about her abuser boyfriend is also one. I didnt think so but with her now claiming that she sells online pics of herself, she might be one too. Again, not everyone comes with good intentions sadly.

Probably “How to troll boomers”. Heard its an instant hit at ENA lol Its the same man who proclaimed how “Its hard that women pass on somebody so beautiful and with the body of a Greek God like him” so dont know why people think its real.

Depending on the number of work commitments or other things that makes both of you busy, pretty normal. People have more time when they are still in school so they see each other more. But after you are more serious and work duties catch up, there is less time to see somebody. You do hear often so its not like you dont have contacts in a menatime. There is also a distance issue. 1 hour is not much but that still means 2 hours trip when you see each other. So that makes things more complicated. Are you doing something to shorten that distance? Maybe talking about living closer or even together?

He hasnt had sex with you in a year. At that point that is no longer even a relationship as far as passion part goes. His depression or not, he checked out from you long time ago as a partner. And there is nothing to return to even if he somehow fixes his issues.