orangecounty

I had to answer your post because I am a hypochondriac myself. I fully understand how tiring and annoying it is. I think it's apart of the generalized anxiety disorder that I have. What I've come to finally realize is that, it's your minds way of distracting yourself from really dealing with stresses and concerns going on in your life. I've realized whenever something is going on in my life that stresses me out (which is often) I automatically start obsessing over a symptom. But when I'm so into the worry and obsessive thoughts over my health, I normally feel as if I'm a 100% positive that it has nothing to do with being stressed and that something is seriously wrong with me. So I think by remaining ALL consummed with my health, I don't have to sit around and think about University, or work or anything else for that matter. It's amazing how when the stress goes away and so does the symptom. Worry can definitely cause a lot of upset acidy stomach and many other similar symptoms. So I think your obsessive thoughts are definitely making your stomach worse. A lot of people with anxiety, also suffer from irritable bowl syndrome. There's a great site called link removed They have a great forum there, where I'm sure you'll find a lot of people like yourself and myself! d

I couldn't agree more with Kristy. I would like any guy coming up to me out of the blue and asking me out. But it would be completely different if over time i got to know him, it wouldn't be such a surprise.

You're welcome. I wouldn't completely disqualify the chances of it being nothing but it's good that your head is open to the possibility that it isn't. It's often easy if someone is looking your way to naturally pick up their gaze quickly because they're looking in your direction. It is hard, for anyone. But go ahead and just say hello. You don't have to walk up to her and ask her out right off the bat. Just get to know her better and in time, you can ask her out if you feel things are heading that way. I asked out a guy this last year whom I really liked and who flirted with me for a few months. Well guess what? He said no, he had to "work" on himself. I was shocked. But I'm still glad I did it, I would have forever been wondering what could have happened, had I not asked him out.

Yes and no. It's hard to tell. There's this guy who works in the same place as myself but we don't work together. I always run into him, or look over at the wrong time. He probably thinks I'm checking him out but I'm not interested at all. So that's one example of it meaning nothing. Though the other day, I was taking my drawing class and saw a very handsome man sitting accross the room from me. I shifted my eyes up once and he did the exact same at the same moment in time. I could be wrong, I think he was checking me out. But who's to say, he could have just looked up at that moment and it may mean nothing. I guess what I'm trying to say is that while it could mean something, you can't possibly know without actually getting to know someone. And I agree with the other posters, often you'll fantasize and dream about someone from afar, then you meet them and they're nothing like you thought because that's reality.

DN, you put into words what I was trying to say but didn't articulate myself properly

I really do appreciate everyone's help. Easyguy, you made a good point. I'm trying to set a goal of taking some classes or getting involved in something. I need to get out more often, I think I've fallen into the routine of someone so much older than myself. I work, I come home, have dinner, watch a little television, draw a little and go to bed. I wake up the next morning and do the entire thing over again. I'm young, I should be going out and having fun, though I see nothing wrong with spending some nights at home. Thanks again!

Well, now that that's out there. If you are interested in trying things out, I would make it clear that you are interested in him. I think you both need to make it clear where you stand. If he's scared you might reject him, it could be the reason he denied liking you. So I think you should state your intentions and then leave the ball in his court. If he really is interested in you, he'll want to act on it, if not, I'm sure you'll get the point. Just let things play out. Good luck! Jules

Ahaha, that's so funny you say that, I think about it all the time. Don't you wish people had signs over their heads stating "single, shy, nice guy/girl." And I wish all the jerks had a sign over their head stating "don't date me!" Strange world it is. jsip, no where near Orange county, it's just one of my favorite movies

Why do guys do that? I've been in the same situation. I think some men are egotistical and flirt or lead girls on to boost their own ego. I'm not sure in your case. As strange as it sounds, he may be so shy that he's even scared to tell you the truth. Are you interested in him? and if so did you tell him so? I'm a shy girl myself and I remember once I was working with this guy whom I rather liked. We were talking about drawing and I said "I want to go to the zoo to draw." He gave me a funny look and left, he came back a few minutes later and I realized he thought I said "wanna go to the zoo and draw?" He asked me if that was what I said and I replied, no,no, I just said I wanted to go out and draw. I felt so stupid, I really would have liked to go to the zoo to draw with him but I was so scared of being rejected that I completely denied it even though I had a clear chance of going out with him. Shy people are funny creatures sometimes.

I've realized that I don't know that many guy actually. It dawned on me that I just have no idea where to meet guys. I work almost entirely with woman. Any ideas as to where I could put myself into a target rich environment? I'm more on the shy side, I'm not into internet dating or clubbing. I feel really stumped. Thanks, Jules

You have to give this some very serious thought. I would never stand for that behaviour. Just remember, the best way to predict future behaviour is by past behaviour. It sounds like he has something to hide, which in a relationship is completely toxic. There are good respectful guys out there who don't behave in the manner you describe. Value yourself and don't settle. Best of luck, Jules

Kyo, I don't think that's always the case. There's this guy I quite like whom I would never have thought much of in passing him on the street. And yet getting to know him, he's really nice and cool. Sometimes it just takes time getting to know someone before you reject them based on their looks alone. The men I tend to be attracted to are those who are genuinely kind and nice, its when I get that vibe that they're just a very respectful, sweet kind of person. I find that so incredibly attractive.

Interesting topic. When I like someone, they would barely even know it. I'm so shy, I'm still very friendly and sweet, but I don't think you would able to tell that I were interested. I think shy people often go to the other extreme of trying to appear like they're not interested, just in case they're rejected. Something I definitely need to work on!

I had to reply to your post because I can relate to it soooo much! I'm 22 and have never had a boyfriend. I've actually finally made peace with it, or atleast I've felt a lot better lately. But I completely understand what it's like being at events such as weddings and such, where everyone seems to have a date. I hate it. Just seeing couples all over the mall use to get me down. I'm not sure what kind of advice I have to offer, being in the same boat. But I empathize. Just try and keep a positive attitude even when it feels really lousy, and it's ok to feel down about it at times, the problem is when you let it consume you. Or what I found even worse is that I was getting desperate and wondering "what about him" whenever I would meet any male within the age range of 20-25. Let me know if you think up any good places to meet people. I have the same problem. My parents suggested that I joing a bowling league,hehehe I don't think I'll be taking that route. Good-luck!

It may sound so cliche, but personality is so important. In the past I've been attracted to guys and wanted to go out with them and then realized what jerks they really are. I work with a guy whom I absolutely adore, he's very average, not someone I would give a second glance to and yet he's so much fun, he's a nice guy with a good sense of humour. I'm 22 and still single, have never had a boyfriend and I know there are times it's so incredibly frusturating when it seems nothing is working. But the more you feed yourself with positive dialogue, the more attractive you come off as. Positive self talk is so important, you start out slow, feeding yourself positive comments little by little and its amazing how much it can change your mood. It really does work, if you put in some effort.

I'm 5'5 and I've always been attracted to men who were around my height or a couple inches taller, which would be considered short for a guy. There have been the exceptions but there's something great about hugging someone who's right infront of you at the same height.

Kyo, you're only 32 and you DO have the rest of your life infront of you. I know it may not seem like it, there are still a tone of woman who are in their late 20's, early to mid thirties who are single. Some have never been in relationships. My cousin's 33, she's never had a boyfriend. I know many woman around the same age who are still single and of course they feel the clock ticking, especially fo those who want to have children. But heck, people are having children later and later these days. Use the same advice you just gave to Losted32flower, for yourself, don't give up.

ah, that's exactly what I needed to hear, thank-you so much. I definitely want to get a degree, I just feel so pressured all the time with time ticking. Ok, I'll relax a little more and I think I will start researching and finding what it is I want to do. I know which area I want to work in, I just don't know exactly where in that department. Thanks again, Jules

10 to 20 times a week Interesting question you brought up. I consider myself to be an attractive girl and guys close to never ask me out. I'm outgoing and friendly, it's not like I'm antisocial. I still can't figure it out. I work with this guy who's really nice and fun but he doesn't look at me when he' talking to me. He looks at the other people we work with when he's talking to them, is that intimidation? What do you guys think?

I'm freaking out. I'm 22 years old, I've done two years of Univeristy, studying filmmaking. This summer, I trained as an assistant director and realized I did not want to work in the crazy industry and since then I've been freaking out. I feel like my plan has been thrown off course, which in some was I knew in the back of my head I was in the wrong area. The thing is, I'm a very creative person, I just never feel talented enough. I enjoy design, which I took in University as well, I got an A but I have a really tough time in drafting and got a C in drafting and drawing. I just don't know what to do with my life and I find that very scary. Times ticking, I'm being pressured by my parents to figure out what it is I want to do and I still don't know. I'm not sure what I would be best suited at. I've never wanted a "normal job." I want something that I can use my creativity in and have fun. I know no job is perfect and has its ups and downs but I don't want to waste my life working in a job I don't enjoy. Any advice, I would so very much appreciate it!

I could have written your post, ah it's good to see I'm not alone. I thought I was completely freakish, having a fear of men. I think my real issue is with dating, I think I fear dating because I'm so inexperienced. I can be perfectly fine and then a guy asks me out and I morph into this quiet, quiet, uncomfortable girl, I just hate it. I feel like they don't get to know the real me. I wish you luck in overcoming your fear, I completely understand.

Hello I'm catholic as well, don't attend church all that often but I still consider myself a very spiritual person and with good morales. To me kissing is like hugging, its just a deeper sign of affection for the one you love. What's wrong with that? I just can't see how kissing someone you love, which is a loving and caring act, could be considered wrong. If you continue you feeling that guilty about it, it would be best to maybe slow things down a bit. Its good that your boyfriend is caring and respectful of the situation, that'll help the situation immensely.

Being a shy girl and asking out a guy is not the impossible, I'm living proof. I've always been very shy, especially around guys. Yet, when you like some so very much and want to go out with them, you push yourself to do things you usually wouldn't. Why not take a risk and just go for it, it's one of those things were I got to the point that I would just burst if I didn't ask him out. It doesn't mean you have to go from not saying a word to him to asking him out, take it slow if you would like. But I'm sure you'll get to that point, when you'll really want to ask him out if he doesn't ask you out before then.

This may sound really cheesy, but I did the Midwest Attacking anxiety program by Lucinda bassett (link removed) and it helped SO much! It really was a life saver for my anxiety. I have relapsed on occasion and it would probably be good to do the program a second time over. But I seriously don't know what I would have done without it. Just a thought. I think you can even get a cheaper copy of the program on Ebay. I don't believe that strongly in medication, I know some people honestly need meds to get better and that's ok, but it's best to try and deal with the issue in hand for starters. I hope you're feeling better, anxiety sure does suck!

I totally understand the situation because I'm like that. I guy I went out with a few weeks ago. We were working together on the same show and spoke all day long, into the evening.....he asked me out that night. I thought, great we can talk some more! But when I went on my date with him, I felt myself getting a lot shyer and much more quiet. I was entering very foreign territory and I immediately sort felt like a turtle going into my shell. So it's likely that he hasn't gotten to know his "dating self" quite yet. It's kind of like when I was learning to drive and because I had never driven before, I couldn't see myself as a driver and I was very uncomfortable getting behind the wheel. Of course with time and experience, I've become really comfortable driving. Dating is much the same way, it sounds like he's just inexperienced and it may take a while for him to get comfortable with the situation. I'd just be patient. I could be wrong, but it seems like he's interested.