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orangecounty

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Everything posted by orangecounty

  1. orangecounty
    There are plenty of attractive people who are shy, I myself being one of them. The two have nothing to do with one another. I've always been shy, shyness has something to do with part of you brain not with the way you look. Heck, I'm 23 and I've never had a boyfriend. Messages like the one you wrote are so selfdefeating. If you think you'll fail, you will. I agree with the others, you're just setting yourself up. Don't get me wrong, I've had plenty of pity parties for myself and it feels sometimes like I'll be single forever. But I've always had hope of meeting someone despite those thoughts. Because if you don't, you really are throwing it all out the window.
  2. orangecounty
    Oh, it sounds like she's really into you, don't worry about it. The first kiss is always akward. I'm sure she'll be understanding and sweet about it. And I'm sure there will be PLENTY of other opportunities to kiss her. When the timing is right, do it slowly and gently. Don't feel the need to rush though, you guys will see each other, maybe not as often but that'll make all the more special. And I'm sure the distance will test the relationship and what's meant ot be will be.
  3. orangecounty
    I don't even know you and I'm so proud! Way to go girl! Accept the uncomfortable feelings that may occur. SO normal! I've realized there's no way I can run from feeling that way when I got out on a date. Casino Royale, awesome movie choice, btw! Just enjoy the evening and remember, he's most definitely as nervous as you are. The whole thing sounds really positive, have FUN!
  4. orangecounty
    Thanks! That makes me feel good. When I did finally go out with him, he seemed really um...gay. I think he's closeted. I sort of felt that way the first time we met but I put it aside because I had such a crush on him and he was flirting with me. Then I found out he was very religious and went to a church which was very against homosexuality....the whole world made sense once again! Zerohalo, so true. Isn't it easier to just move on once you've known the answer. I think more people should just go for it, what do you have to loose?
  5. orangecounty
    Oh yes, I have. I'm a pretty shy girl and I still surprise myself sometimes. There was this guy who flirted with me at work for months, I had a huge crush on him and I bet he knew it. One day while walking to my other job, I noticed him at work and thought, now or never! So I walked up to him and said "how are you doing? What are you up to tonight? I was just wondering if you'd like to go out for coffee." And here's the crushing part....he looked at me, paused for what felt like eternity and said "I think that's doable." Exuse me? Doable?! He then later walked over to my other job and told me that it was "guy's night," and that "we could do this "thing" another time." I was so proud of myself but boy was I ever a nervous wreck! I didn't hear from him for two weeks, we finally went out for coffee and he told me that he had to "work on himself." He ended up being an arrogant jerk who was just feeding off of me to boost his own ego. Bleh, there' such losers out there! But despite all that, I'm so glad I mustered the courage to do it.
  6. orangecounty
    If I could give you one piece of advice, it would be not to discipline the children. Leave it to the mother. I know that can be incredibly difficult but your attempts will only be met with resistance. You haven't been there with them since they were young and hence the bond will not be the same. Though by all means support your wife when she is disciplining the children. I come from a divorced home as well. It sounds like the younger one is acting out and is not adjusting well to the new circumstances. I would give him plenty of space for the time being. I agree with the others, why would you want to keep a marriage secret?
  7. orangecounty
    Hun, I know you're flattered. This man knows that you're young and impressionable. And asking you to lunch, he most likely wants more than a friendship. You've clearly stated that you don't like this man and are not interested in him. I would not go out with him. It is playing with fire and you will be burnt. I've been in those situations. Sometimes you have to stop, and despite that feeling of excitement or need or whatever, let your HEAD guide you on this one. I think you're a smart girl and would be wise to end this right away.
  8. orangecounty
  9. orangecounty
    Good point, Annie. hmmmmm, maybe we should. Nah, not going down that road!
  10. orangecounty
    Thanks, guys,hehe I just needed to hear it. You know, I like this guy so much that I don't want something to mess it up. My violin teacher use to tell me things about myself according to the zodiac which was freakishly true. Before that I couldn't have cared less about astrology and thought it was fluff. But you're right. I won't let it dissuade me.
  11. orangecounty
    This is probably the dumbest thing I've ever posted but hey, I'm curious. So I really liked this guy, we live pretty far apart but hopefully we'll be able to go out in the future, if I am that lucky. I've become more interested in Astrology the last couple years seeing as, my violin teacher had studied it and use to amaze me at how accurate it seemed to be. So for fun I typed up our signs and compatibility. It says we're the worse match possible, it went on and on and was so negative. Now I know that relationships take work and I shouldn't take this whole sign thing so seriously. So can I ask, is there any Geminis and Scorpios out there dating with success? Thanks
  12. orangecounty
    Just recently I had this massive crush on this guy. I soon realized it was just a purely physical attraction. Then I met this amazing guy, he has the most attractive personality of any guy I've ever met. I completely adore him, yet he's average in appearance. But his personality makes him so physically attractive, if that makes sense?
  13. orangecounty
    Oh I've had my share all right, it makes me wonder if I'll ever meet anyone normal. Well first there was the guy whom I asked out, only to have him pick me up for a date with his girlfriend. He never told me he was dating anyone. He simply asked me to come play mini golf with him and his "friends." What made it worse is that he never introduced her as his girlfriend either so I had to do all this guessing work as to who she was, was she a friend or more? Then she asked him in the car if he wanted her already chewed gum and I figured it out. That ended very quickly, what a creep! Then there was the guy who flirted with me at work for 3 months, only to find out that he was gay, repressed and belonged to a cult which condemned homosexuality. Boy was that a rollercoaster. There's been a few drug addicts in the mix. Which is really odd considering I'm such a straight laced girl. They honestly seemed like normal guys when we first met. I'd like to think that all these bad experiences would mean that I'll appreciate that special person all the more once he finally comes along.
  14. orangecounty
    I use to be quite the same. But I got over it and now the only time I have problems swallowing pills is when I'm thinking about it. I take a multivitamin every morning, they're by no means small. I found I swallow them best when I relax, and I swallow gently with lots of water in my mouth. It's when I start panicking over it then it goes down funny. I'm sure this sounds easier than what is once you have to do it, but just put a little water in your mouth, pop the pill towards the back of your mouth and try and swallow like you would if you were just taking a gulp of water. And remember to relax, that's the key!
  15. orangecounty
    All the girls go for the the muscular guys?! They've never been my type and I'm sure there are plenty of girls who would quite adore a tall, thin man.....many do! Sounds like a little depression. I've gone through your situation exactly, I was just unhappy with everything it seemed. I find there may already be a few things that aren't quite working in your life and that brings you down so than your outlook on everything else is very negative. Try to problem solve. Eventually things will fall into place. Don't allow your family to pressure you into a career. They're not the ones who are going to be going to that job day in, day out. Do what you really love.
  16. orangecounty
    I hear ya, I too have quite the junk in the trunk....more than I'd like. Though I was just reading that apparently you're less likely to have heart disease if you're carrying it in your deriere. Those who carry their fat in the front (their stomach) are more at risk since it feeds into the liver. So shake that booty and be proud
  17. orangecounty
    Oh man, you make it all sound so depressing. You know what, in high school I never went to any parties, never fit in to any so called "group," never had that many friends but it doesn't matter anymore. I look back on those days and I'm actually really glad I didn't belong to a group or hang out with losers. It's made me the person I am today and I'm proud of that. I know it's no fun being shy or suffering from social phobia, I'm rather shy myself but I work reallly hard at it to try and talk to people and be outgoing. Despite being quite outgoing now, in my very core I'm a very, very shy person and its something I still need to work on in certain circumstances. But don't look at it as a waste of youth, some people are talkative, others are not. One is not better over the other. I think you need to change your perspective on things. And as others said, people do love to talk about themselves so just ask some questions and they'll start rambling so much, you can just sit back and pretend (or not to be interested.
  18. orangecounty
    Good point. Don't become cocky, girls such as myself hate it. I think some of those sites tend to go to the other extreme. Sorry but I find men who are macho and cocky to be tracky and an incredibly turn off. Just be yourself. It's more about believing in yourself and improving you instead of trying to be someone else.
  19. orangecounty
    Not all woman like tall men. I'm 5'5 myself and I love it when a guy is my height. I can look him right in the eye Just like some woman are attracted to very tall men, I'm attracted to short men. I honestly would not worry about it. I just had this conversation with my friends and they agreed that they preferred shorter men. Go figure.
  20. orangecounty
    Dating is scary,hehe Just today I ran into a guy I had met the other day who seems really cool. When I seriously thought about the possibility of going out with him, I felt totally fearful. And I thought how I can fear something I want so much. The more you do it, the more comfortable it'll become. First dates are always sort of weird, just plunge in. You just need to take that next step and risk the rejection, which we ALL face! Good luck and tell us how things go!!
  21. orangecounty
    I'm caucaisian and I never get asked out. I don't think it matters what nationality you are, it's tough. It may be the reason you THINK is holding guys back when it could be something entirely different. In my case, I think I'm just a really shy girl and I don't seem interested enough for guys to pursue me. Yah, see, I think it has little to nothing to do with your nationality.
  22. orangecounty
    Wow, I could have written just about everything you've said,haha Like you said, we're friendly girls. I think sometimes that comes off as exactly that, friendly. I know with myself, I'm still a little afraid to really flirt so I'm just super friendly. That's fine and dandy but it doesn't really give the guy the message that you're interested in them. And so at the end of the night, they're thinking "she's not that into me," why pursue her? She's just a friendly girl. I'm in the EXACT same boat as yourself. I've often thought, I'm friendly, I'm smart, attractive, why don't guys notice this?! What more do they want? But I can hold all those positive traits and by not letting someone know that I'm interested, nothing is going to happen. I think that is key, as someone else said on here, focus your attention on someone else and pursue them. Good luck ;D
  23. orangecounty
    You all seem to be doing just fine on here I'm like that with people I'm intimidated by or whom I think is "better" than me. Which is obviously isn't true. We starting telling ourselves subconsciously that what we have to say is not worthy and that we're not worth of their time, so you don't say anything at all. You honestly do have LOTS to say, you're just holding back without even knowing it. Don't worry so much about what others think, if they don't like you, so be it, you can change someone else. I know, so much easier said than done! But I've realized lately if I relax and I don't care about what the other person thinks, a really fun and cool side of my personality comes out. I think we ALL have that potential.
  24. orangecounty
    Sally, nicely said. I never looked at it that way before. Thank-you Isle, I do take very good care of myself, I'm ok in that department. It's just the inside that needs fixing. I feel like I've done all that I can do physcially. Thanks for your help though, I really appreciate it.
  25. orangecounty
    Guys, I need some help. I suffer from what some call, the ugly duckling syndrome. All throughout school I was a nerd. Never had that many friends, never hung with the popular crowd, never dated any boys, didn't fix myself up ect....Then I got out of highschool, realized who I was and that it was ok to fix my hair, wear some makeup and dress nicely. I've blossomed since high school and I intellectually know that I'm an attractive girl but I can't seem to really convince myself of it. It's one thing when I look in the mirror but then talking to a guy that I like, I feel as if I'm in school all over again. I know it's a self esteem issue and I don't know what to do about it. How to change this perception of myself. I think it's keeping guys away because I don't have enugh faith in myself. Not sure what to do about it, any suggestions?
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