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Unmotivated

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Everything posted by Unmotivated

  1. Unmotivated
    Sounds to me like he's interested in you. Maybe you could try to maneuver the next conversation at lunch towards the topic of love/dating. The benifit would be threefold: First, it's a way to find out if he's seeing anyone currently. Second, if he is interested, he'll probably make it clear to you that he is available. Third, it's a subtle way of letting him know that you're interested in him while not venturing "too far".
  2. Unmotivated
    I think that first of all you should descretely try to figure out if she is currently in a relationship. You know, just kind of guide the conversation in that direction but try not to give yourself away. = ) If she isn't you could try asking her if she wants to go out to lunch or something casual. I mean you can go so far without admitting to anything, so if she does decline you can still keep things how they are now. You don't need to literally "confess your feelings" to her. Also, I would advise you to make your move as soon as possible. The longer you wait the greater the chances are that you miss your opportunity if there is one. Good luck man!
  3. Unmotivated
    Don't make your decision based on the general consensus. Everyone is different. You're going to have to find out for yourself whether or not this particular girl is okay with that.
  4. Unmotivated
    definitely a B here, but I can't say I recommend that. I got myself hurt that way.
  5. Unmotivated
    Congrats.
  6. Unmotivated
    This is driving me mad. I feel like I've hit rock bottom and I didn't even see it coming and I still don't understand it. I've been infactuated with a girl I know for a while. I don't know how I managed to do it (because I am very shy), but somehow I managed to tell her over MSN. She was kind of shocked and she told me that she didn't know what to say. She doesn't share the feelings. I felt bad for springing it on her because she is having a hard time with a relationship she just ended and she has several finals coming up that she is having a hard time studying for. Anyway, she was okay with it, or seemed to be and we agreed to stay friends. Everything seemed okay. I was like, "Alright. When I went to work later, my life seemed clear and it seemed like I was thinking objectively. But when I got home, everything took a dive. I can't stop thinking about whether telling her was a good idea and what consequences have come from it. In my mind it seems clear that me and this girl are just friends and she has no interest in me. And in my head, I'm okay with that. Yet for some reason I desperately, desperately want to talk to her more. I don't want to do anything at all right now except for talk to her. I feel so numb. The only conclusion is that I must be in denial. I don't think I have accepted the rejection. It's freaking me out because I am convinced of one thing, while my desires seem to contradict it. I don't know what to do expect for see how I feel tomorrow. I don't want to hurt her anymore, but I can't help but wonder if even that is just some trick of my head. Gah, people. Thank you for listening to my problems again. One day I hope I can give back to this forum as much as it has given me.
  7. Unmotivated
    Heh, she didn't show up. Back to the drawing board.
  8. Unmotivated
    You could start by just saying "Hi" to him or "Have a nice day!" when you are leaving the class. Just keep that up for a few days and then maybe you'd feel more comfortable starting a real conversation.
  9. Unmotivated
    Just start a conversation with him about class or something. If you're afraid of being rejected, take it slow and try to "feel him out" to see if he is interested in you. You don't have to venture telling him that you like him until you're pretty sure he shares the feelings.
  10. Unmotivated
    Just start a conversation with him about class or something. If you're afraid of being rejected, take it slow and try to "feel him out" to see if he is interested in you. You don't have to venture telling him that you like him until you pretty sure he shares the feelings.
  11. Unmotivated
    Wow. I wish something like that would happen to me.
  12. Unmotivated
    Thanks for the input everyone. We'll see how it turns out.
  13. Unmotivated
    I agree with Caldus and ShySoul. I really doubt a girl would stare at you if she didn't want to have anything to do with you. Some people just don't smile very easy. Also, some people might be afraid to send you a smile unless they are certain that you are interested in them.
  14. Unmotivated
    I recommend that you look people in the eye and if they look back at you give them a good smile. Just looking at them in the first place is a signal of confidence. I don't think you should worry about giving people the wrong idea with eye contact, just so long as you don't stare at someone for several seconds without smiling.
  15. Unmotivated
    Wow, this thread was quite an interesting read for me. I remember thinking of myself of handsome through much of junior high and high school. The thing is that I had the advantage (?) of being obese back then. That may sound kind of strange, but the thing is, my main concern back then was how fat I was, not my facial features. I tackled the weight problem and got it down to an range that I'm satisfied with, but now, in college, I'm starting to have doubts about my looks in general. When these doubts first arrived, I pulled a stupid move and submitted several pictures of myself to link removed. None of them scored above a 5. It was hard getting over that, but I did. I told myself that the majority of the voters on that site are biased towards a certain look, that I there are probably plenty of people out there attracted to me and not the guys on hotornot with high scores. That's probably a lie, but it keeps me going. And that's what it's all about, really. You have to keep yourself going. I can't think of myself as ugly because that's not an option. That's me defeating myself. Please, don't defeat yourself. Don't doubt yourself.
  16. Unmotivated
    If I were in your shoes I would first try to catch her eye and give her a big smile and see how she reacts. I think most girls who seem shy suffer from low self-esteem. If you clearly show them that they are interested, they might open up a bit. Anyway, she might react negatively (i.e. look away quickly and avoid eye contact indefinitely) and she might react positively (i.e. a smile in return, followed by occasional glances at you) and it might be somewhere in between where you can't really tell. If she seems remotely interested, I'd recommend going up and talking to her as soon as possible. This is the point where I always fail. I can never get myself to stop playing the flirting game... Girls assume that I'm not actually interested or just move on. Take the opportunity when you have it. I mean, heck, you might as well give it a shot if you only have a few classes left. That way if it turns out she's not interested, you probably wont see her again anyway.
  17. Unmotivated
    I have similar problems and I can tell you that it really helps to have someone to talk to when you're feeling low. Even if they can't solve your problems... Just getting it out in the open can make you feel better. The word of warning is, find someone you trust. It can do more damage than good if you talk to someone about your problems and they go tell a bunch of other people about it.
  18. Unmotivated
    Okay, so I got an email from a university account the other day about dating on campus. Basically they were trying to get a pool of singles together, have them take a survey, and then match them up on blind dates. I thought it sounded cool, so I went ahead and filled it out, and sure enough they sent me an email tonight that say they set me up with a girl for this Friday. The thing is, I'm pretty nervous about it. Excited, but nervous. This will be my first date, ever. Anybody have any tips for this situation? A friend of mine suggested that I email her first to break the ice, but I'm not sure if that's a good idea or not. Thanks everyone!
  19. Unmotivated
    Thanks everyone. I really appreciate the advice.
  20. Unmotivated
    I tend to ramble on with my posts, so I'll try to keep this one short and simple. 22 years old, never had girlfriend/date/etc. At the end of high school and for much of college I was "passively" trying to find a girlfriend. I was hoping the right opportunity would present itself one day... But the longer I've been alone and the more of my friends I see in relationships, the stronger this deep craving I have gets. So, I've started to actively try to find someone. I only know of a handful of places to potentially meet people. The main one recently has been at the cafeteria I work at. This isn't really too good of an option because I'm not in a position to be very approachable, being one of the workers. I sometimes go to the Student Union building, where poeple go to hang out, but I never seem to have any luck there. Anyways, the problem I have lately is the severe boredom I face when I don't have somewhere to go to meet people. The craving gets stronger and stronger and nothing that I normally do interests me. I have to force myself to engage in an activity that I would usually consider fun. I notice that I eat too much when I'm bored like this and recently I've been really close to try drinking (I haven't drank in my life... Don't know why exactly, but it's becoming very tempting to start just to "fit in" in social settings...). I just don't know how to handle this. I know it's not healthy to get obsessed with something like this that takes time, but I can't help it. The craving is very strong and the stronger it gets, the less I care about other aspects of my life and the more I feel like putting all of my resources towards finding that someone. . . I would really appreciate any advice on dealing with this craving and the boredom caused by it. It's frustrating. Thanks everyone.
  21. Unmotivated
    Yeah, I'm pretty sure I missed my chance a looooong time ago. It's just weird how something can dominate a night's dreams like that. I haven't really even been thinking about her lately.
  22. Unmotivated
    So there is this girl in my class this semester. She was in a class last semester, too. Back then she kind of seemed interested in me. She would say, "Have a good weekend." after class on fridays and once in a while we would exchange long gazes. Unfortunately, this semester she doesn't seem very interested in me. I dreamed about asking her out twice last night. In the first dream it turned out she was actually a man with this really funky accent and I couldn't understand what the heck she was talking about . In the second dream, I found her working at a grocery store back in my home town (not sure what on earth I was doing there). I talked to her a whole bunch, and pretty much had a "date" with her at the grocery store (which turned into a resturant somehow, and for some reason my dad and my grandpa where sitting with us, "rooting for me"). We had a big long talk and.. it was awesome. I drove her home and whe hugged... And that was about it... Anyways... I don't know what the point of this is. I just woke up and had an urge to write it down... lol. I'm really good at wasting forum space.
  23. Unmotivated
    The seed of doubt sprouts failure.
  24. Unmotivated
    I would say that these are very good signs that this girl likes you. Go for it.
  25. Unmotivated
    Porn is just visual (and sometimes audial) stimulation. Some people may fantisize about having a relationship with some girl pictured in porn, but that's really not the point. People look at/masturbate to porn for different reasons. Obviously it releases sexual tension and social anxiety. It is a great stress reliever. It can used to celebrate of one's privacy. It can relieve boredom (I've been there one too many times It can be exciting for no other reason other than because it's "naughty". My point is that, although porn is by definition a sexual thing, there are other reasons to look at it and masturbate to it. People need balance to their lives. I think that you should ease up on your boyfriend and try to think of things from his perspective. He's a teenage boy and thereforeeee probably pretty horny a lot of the time. You seem to have the mentality that you should be able to satisfy him %100 of the time, but that's not really very realistic and maybe he doesn't want it that way. Maybe he doesn't want to simply think of as more of a "sex object" than as a girlfriend. I don't know... Try to compromise. Talk to him about it and see if you can figure out his motives instead of just saying not to do it.
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