DSK83

I'm wondering if you and girl agree to just be friends is it ok to cuddle (hold/be wrapped up in each other)? I know that if you're not officially with the girl then you shouldn't kiss, but I was wondering if cuddling and holding the girl should only happen if you are bf/gf. I mean it seems fine for guys and girls to give hugs when they meet and part, and cuddling just seems like prolonged hugging.

The girl I'm talking about is not officially my ex because we never officially got together. She and I had sex before and then didn't for a long period of time, and then we became friends. As I tried to be friends with her things began to get physical but we did not have sex. I always liked her and I even told her so. However, she was afraid of commitment and while I knew she liked me she would always try to hide her feelings from me. So what happened is her and I parted ways for about 5 weeks and I thought that maybe if I just didn't see her I could forget about her. That was until last Thursday she asked me to come by her place because she was having a bad day. When I saw her on Thursday all my feelings for her came rushing back when I thought I had gotten over her. Now I want to start hanging out with her again and I want to see what she thinks of me. I want to know if she's still interested in me so I know if I should pursue her as a friend or if I should try for more (eventually get together). I am a straightforward guy, I say how I feel and I don't play games. On the other hand, she doesn't seem to really reveal to me her true feelings. I called her yesterday and the day before and she didn't call me back. She did however talk to my online. The thing is, I'm pretty confident she still has feelings for me but she's just afraid to get involved again. I just really feel like I need to tell her how I feel about things and to hear what she wants to do so either we can work on getting together or that I can just move on. I'm open to either, but I can't move on if she won't tell me how she feels. So as far as approaching this, I know I want to talk to her in person, but I don't know how to go about it. Should I even try calling her anymore, or should I just hope she still cares about me and will call me? I know she's been thinking about me because when we hadn't talked in 5 weeks she asked me to come comfort her out of nowhere. I met her about 9 months and we've talked on and off until the 5 week parting.

I appreciate the advice.

I am thinking about taking a girl out on a date. I'm thinking about taking her ice skating since I know she enjoys it. However, I haven't ice skated in about 10 years so I probably will be a clutz on the ice for the first 30 minutes. I thought this would be a good way to show her that I'm not afraid to do something even if I'm not good at. She also tends to believe that I am more capable than she is in most ways and I thought this would be a good way to boost her confidence and show her that I can learn a few things from her as well. Does this sound like a good idea or would me flopping around on the ice for the first 30minutes to an hour as she tried to help me be a turnoff? I would really appreciate any advice, since I am planning on taking her out tomorrow evening. Thanks!

I really appreciate the advice, it is very helpful. I do however still have other concerns. One large dilemma I have is that I'm afraid of hurting the girl. What I mean is that I'm afriad that I may grow bored of her later on. That was somewhat addressed earlier. "Do you really want this woman? - Does she mean that much to you?" -Turboz Right now my gut is telling me yes, but other signals say no. I want to go for her, but I'm afraid of hurting her. I'm somewhat afraid for myself, but that doesn't really matter. I'm willing to take the risk of being hurt, does that mean I should just go for it because she should be willing to take the risk of being hurt as well? I feel like maybe I've just answered my own question. It just seems that the idea of dropping all inhibitions and just going for it without thinking of the consequences seems a bit wreckless, no?

Should I only kiss a girl if I'm ready for a committed relationship. If I kiss a girl will that either lead into a serious or friends with benefit relationship. Once you kiss, does it mean there's no going back in saying that if I kiss a girl is it possible to just be friends. One other question, does a friendship workout after two people have slept together?

I think you should definitely tell him what you feel. Let him know that sex is important to you. If he is a virgin or unexperienced, it is important that you reassure him that you enjoy his company and would enjoy having sex with him very much. He is probably afraid that he cannot fulfill your expectations and that if he does have sex with you afterwards you will not think he's good enough. I am saying this from experience. I had problems having sex because I was nervous and was not able to get it up the first time and since then I was in fear of being unable to perform. She asked whe I couldn't do it but did not comfort or help me so it made the situation worse. Let him know you like him, complement him, and say you'll like him no matter what and be considerate with him. It's probably good for you to be on top at first and lead him since he will be nervous and inexperienced.

I will try to be concise and to the point. There is a girl that I met late august, 2004 and we have had quite an interesting past. When I met her, although I had previously never done this before, I slept with her on the first night we met. We did not get together because she thought I was not really interested in her and so she got with another guy. I found out she got with this other guy and told her I liked her and she didn't know what to say. She then left the other guy and I started talking to her again. When I started talking to her again we were really getting a long. We hung out a lot, close to once a day for a week (maybe too much with our busy schedules, I'm we're both 21 in college and busy with a social life). Then somehow things weren't going that well and she begain to be unsure about herself and our relationship. It seemed like she was insecure because she asked me why I like her. Then before I went on a trip with my father to China over spring break she said somewhat jokingly that I should bring back a good girl from China. I felt horrible because I could tell she was implying I should find someone else either because she was no longer interested or she was afraid of being in a committed relationship. A problem is that her and I never really defined the relationship after we started talking again from her leaving me in the very beginning for the other guy. We would say we're just friends or set certain guidelines like we wouldn't kiss or do anything if we weren't together, but we ended up kissing and everything but sex. Now I just saw to her again after not seeing her for 5 weeks. I thought that if I just stopped talking to her that I could find someone else and just forget about her. However once I saw her, all my feelings for her came back to me and forgetting doesn't seem to be a solution. My biggest dillemma right now is I don't know where to go with the relationship. I don't know if she still likes me anymore, even though I'm interested in her. If she's not interested at all would she tell me she isn't even if she is because she is afraid of commitment? Or even if she does like me, then what step should I take? I was wondering if I could somehow reconcile our differences from before proposing something like forgetting about the past and trying to start over as friends first. However, that doesn't seem possible since if we hung out either it'd be awkward since I still like her, or that we wouldn't be able to keep the relationship from getting physical fast. I really like this girl and am confused as to what to do. One of my friends said I just need to DTR(define the relationship). I don't know where to start, and I don't want to lose this girl. I hope someone can make sense of all this and help me out. I will post and update on my situation with her. Thanks for reading.