Unmotivated

I dunno... Part of me is wondering maybe they noticed me paying so much attention to her and now they think I'm some sort of freak/stalker, which would explain why they seem to be "monitoring" me so much. lol, oh well. To tell you the truth I'm not really placing much importance on it anymore. I got a few "nibbles" from other girls tonight and I want to see where those lead.

Aaaaargh! Okay, one week ago (last Sunday), I got the impression that this girl wasn't interested in me. She didn't really look at me much and didn't smile or anything, and I'm pretty sure I heard her friends trying to get her to tell them the name of some guy she had met. The next night I was standing right by the door as she came in and she didn't even look at me. I was like, okay, that settles it, she's not interested. In fact, I got the impression that she was kind of embarrased to come to Late Night because she didn't want to deal with me, and I didn't want that. So I decided to ignore her and try to send the signal that I'm not interested. Well, I feel like I'm playing some sort of game with her. Saw her a few times last week, and the whole time I try not to look at her. Then comes tonight. She comes in mid-way through the night and by some freak coincidence, I walk out of the janitor's closet right as she is coming in and we look right at each other (then both look away). So, I start cleaning tables, trying not to look at her, but it seems like her friend is kind of keeping an eye on me. She stays there a while again. After I finish cleaning a table right next to their's, I swear she was looking right at me from about five feet away. I went on my way.... At another point in the night we looked right at each other from a good distance away... At this point I start to wonder about the whole deal, you know. Obviously she knows I was interested in her, and I could have sworn she was flirting with me the first night I saw her. Somehow I feel like I've convinced part of my brain that she doesn't know me and hasn't seen me before in her life, while the other part screams "OH COME ON! SHE WAS THE ONE WHO STARTED ALL OF THIS WITH HER STUPID GAZE AND HER STUPID SMILE!". I don't know if she is still interested or what. Anyways, after a while she and her friend leave, as they walk out, neither of them look at me. That's another thing. I could swear that the friend she is usually with watches me to see if I'm looking their way or not. Oh, the paranoia! Okay, so they leave. I go back to acting normal, which was what I was TRYING to do in the first place. So, fast forward to closing time. I go out with a coworker to throw some trash in the dumpster and BEHOLD: Freak coincidence #2. She and her friend are walking by out there. I stare at her for a few seconds before I realize who it is. Wow. Anyway... Dang it. I'm sorry. Really. I shouldn't resurrect this dead thread and dead situation, but I had to get my thoughts in order and somehow it helps to write this in a public place. I know, you guys are problably going to say I'm anaylizing too much again.

LOL. Sounds like something I would do.

When to random people look each other in the eye, most of the time one or both of them look away within a couple seconds. If you're interested in someone, extend the eye contact past that point. This will tell them that it is more than just an everyday glance. Then you should smile to let them know you are interested. Shy guys might find it embarrassing that you noticed them looking at you, but I think if you keep glancing they'll get the idea and you can go talk to them, etc.

You've gotten the hard part out of the way by telling her how you feel. My suggestion is to let her go for now. I know it can be hard to forget about someone you love, but it's really not healthy to cling to someone if the situation is grim. Go out and meet new people, but stay friends with her. If her and your friend ever do break up, be there for her and see if anything comes out of it. It sounds like sort of a conniving way of doing things, but from your story it sounds like both this girl and your friend owe you a great deal.

I'd recommend a direct approach. Ask her about the boyfriend. If she isn't involved in anyone else, go from there. I can't tell exactly what kind of relationship you guys have, but do you really think it's at a stage in which she would accept you kissing her? You said that you are "good friends", but are you sure that she wants to be more than just friends?

I can relate to you in many ways. I know how it feels to have a crush on a girl who doesn't even know it and not have the courage to talk to her. My advise to you is to forget about her, man. Like you said, she's probably not interested in you. I'm not saying that you shouldn't give it one last serious effort, but after that move on. A friend of mine has been obsessed with a girl from High School and he graduated four years ago. She isn't interested because he's not of the same religion, but he still obsesses about her. It is so bad that he never really "loves" any of the girlfriends he has had. My friend tried to commit suicide a few days ago and this was one of the reasons. It's not healthy to be obsessed with someone who isn't interested in you. There really isn't anything good that will come of it. Instead, you need to improve your social skills and self-confidence. Don't worry about your looks. Get to the point where you can talk to girls you're attracted to. Keep an eye out for signals from the opposite sex and when you see one, don't wait! Spring on the opportunity and talk to her. It's harsh, but it's the way it works. You can't make someone like you. Relationships are two-way things, and if she's the interested, you're just hurting yourself. Good luck, man.

Not too long ago I had this happen to me. I believe it was actually from a bloody nose. The blood coagulated more internally, so it kind of ran down my nasal passage and into my mouth. You might try blowing your nose and see if any blood is present. If this isn't the case, it does sound kind of odd. Maybe you should get it checked out.

I don't have any advice, but I get this once in a while walking to class. Lately I've been working on eye contact with random females I pass. Some of them look back and give a quick smile. In my case, however I kind of doubt it means anything. I think a lot of people are just friendly that way.

Actually, it's more of a turn-on for me. I have similar problems approaching girls, and thereforeeee I would feel like we had something in common.

Go for it. I think that is a good idea. It may be difficult, but I think he'll get the idea.

Newspaper Header: LOCAL RESIDENT DIES FROM STARVATION, HEALTHY CAT FOUND IN APARTMENT But seriously folks, what I would do is: 1) Take the cat in for an inspection 2) Pay the bill 3) Mooch off of your friend for two weeks. But then again, I'm a cat lover too, so I guess I'm kind of biased.

Actually, I'm not quite sure if I had OCD, but I was definitely afraid of germs. I would wash my hands after I touched anything. I would keep track of what objects touched each other (i.e. the floor touched my shoes touched the footstool touched this pencil that I'm holding now! It is thereforeeee contaminated! Must wash hands!). I don't really know if that had anything to do with my obsession problem. Anyway, I've been thinking about this after reading everyones replies (thanks and I want to try something for a while. I want to try to harness my obsessions to produce positive results. (heh heh, that makes me sound like a mad scientist or something I need to evaluate myself once in a while and ask myself whether or not my current obsession(s) is going to be benificial in the long run. If not, I have to put a stop to it. I have to force myself to focus on long-term goals. And I may lose sight of them from time to time, but if I can keep coming back to them, maybe I won't feel depressed when I crash after an obsession. Thanks again for the replies!

Cherish that which you love. Do not linger on that which you hate. There are millions of possibilities for you. If you cannot stand your life as it is, think about how you could change it. You can't change everything in your life and some things are best left the way they are, but the most important things you change are how you see yourself, your life, and the people around you. Change takes time and effort and it's easy to slip back to where you've been before, but if you hate your life this much it is very important for you to work it out. Find people that care about you and don't be afraid to talk to them about your problems. These words probably sound hollow to you. What do I know? And I admit, I have never been at a point in which I considered suicide. I cannot comprehend it. I sounds very stupid to me (no offense), because there is so much waiting in life... So many possiblities for happiness. It's your freakin' life and if it isn't working you need to change something. And it's not going to happen all at once. Try to do it that way and it will never work. Change your life little by little... The more you start to see positive results the better you will feel about making changes. Good luck man. And remember: you're never alone. If you can't find anybody to talk to in real life, this forum will be here for you.

I have the same thing happen to me... I weigh more as the day goes on.

I have a problem with getting literally obsessed with a single thing or a handful of things, for a short period of time. These things are pretty much any aspect of life. I've been obsessed with computer games, organizations, electronics, lifestyles, and (most recently) potential relationships, to name a few. I could tell my life story as a string of the things I was obsessed with. When I become obsessed with something, I am very excited about it, to the extent that I try to get friends in on it and I put forth all of my mental focus and resources (money, time, etc.) toward it. In fact, I see nothing at all negative about this thing that I am obsessed with and I typically have no interest in doing anything unrelated to the obsession. If I cannot involve myself in it for some reason I will become very bored and depressed and feel like there is absolutely nothing to do. During the onset of the obsession, I am extremely happy. I feel like I could live the rest of my life just like it is. Eventually, however, I will lose interest, or something new will come up. At this point I look back and feel very depressed about how much time and money I wasted on the obsession. At this stage, I do see the flaws of what I was doing and I can't comprehend how they were invisible to me before. These little obsessive cycles lasts anywhere from a few days to months. Some obsessions are persistent in that I keep coming back to them. I don't know what it will be next. I want to break out of it, but this behavior seems so deeply ingrained in me, I don't see how I would ever be able to get away from it. I see other people, my friends and roommates even, exhibiting similar behavior, but it's not as bad with them. It's not a consistant cycle and they rarely seem depressed about what they've done when they move on to something else. I really don't know what I have, clinically. When I was younger I had a pretty bad case of Obsessive Compulsize Disorder, but I don't know if it's related to this. Maybe I am a Manic Depressant. I don't know... I've been thinking about going to some counciling about this, but I sort of doubt that they'd be able to help me. Does anyone else have a problem like this and/or have advice on dealing with it? As always, I really appreciate everyone who takes the time to read this.

Dang it, LtAwesome. You make it sound so easy. Just start talking to random girls? Heh heh, well I could try, but when it comes down to it, I just don't have anything to say. I can imagine a conversation between me and a girl going something like this: ME: "Hi." HER: "Hi." ME: "How are you doing today?" HER: "Good." ME: "That's good... So... Uh, cool." HER: "Yeah." ME: "Anyway, I guess I'll see you later." HER: "Okay, bye." You get the idea. I guess maybe that's what you mean... That I just need to talk to girls until I can think of stuff to say. That's the problem when it comes down to it. I can't really think of much to say to this girl at work. I don't know a whole lot about her. She's very cute. She sometimes comes up and asks for the soy milk (which would be an excellent opportunity to talk to her if I were ever in the right place at the right time). She drinks diet Dr. Pepper. She has an interesting hair style. None of these things really seem like conversation material, save maybe the hair. I tried to give a small smile, but once I noticed that she wasn't really paying a whole lot of attention to me I began to have doubts that she was ever interested in the first place and then I guess I was trying to prove to myself that she really was... I don't know. Anyways, thanks for the replies. I'll take theses suggestions to heart and we'll see if I can make something out of them. Really though, I appreciate the support.

In highschool I used to weigh 190. Now I weigh ~160 (Not exactly sure, don't have a scale in my house). 30 lbs doesn't sound like a whole lot, but it sure made a difference in my appearance. I lost most of it when I came to college. I rode my bike a lot and would try to run a little every day. Snacking is a big problem with me and I think the only reason that didn't stop my weight loss was because I didn't have much food in my dorm room (I had a meal plan at the cafeteria). I would try to limit myself to one soda per day and one desert/candy per day. I think that maybe the most important thing to rememeber is this: The first part is the hardest. Once you start getting outside and excersizing more and eating better, you start feeling better about yourself and it becomes easier to do these things. So just keep at it! It helps to have friends that are willing to go out and play games with you (frisbee is always fun

She showed up at work tonight. She came in with two friends: one male (pretty sure he wasn't her bf or anything) and one female (not the same one from the first night). A few other people came and sat at the same table, including one of my co-workers. I took my break as soon as I saw her come in. I knew I wasn't gonna have the courage to go talk to her with that many people around (especially with one of them being a co-worker), so I sat alone at one of the tables where I could see her and she could see me, in hopes that maybe she would come over and ask to sit with me. Of course that didn't happen. After a while, I went back to work. My job was to clean the tables after people left. I glanced at her every couple of minutes. Most of the time she was into some conversation with the rest of the people at the table. Sometimes she would look around. A few times she glanced my way and a few times she caught me looking at her, but then she would quickly look away. To tell you the truth, these are about the results I would expert if I were glancing at any random person that often. She was there for almost an hour. At best I felt like I was getting mixed signals from her. I'm sure she noticed that I was looking at her quite frequently. I'm starting to wonder if I misinterpreted what happened the first night. Maybe she's just kind of shy, but that's not really the impression I get from her. It's depressing, really. It's as if the situation has taken one giant step back, to the point where I usually just say, "Oh well, she's probably not interested in me." and go on along way. Of course it's not the end of the world or anything, but I really thought this relationship had potential. This is the first time I have been almost positive that a girl is interested in me. I don't really know why I'm posting this... Mostly I'm trying to vent my frustration, I think. If anybody has any ideas on how to approach the situation, I'd love to hear them. I packed all my bags to move, but it turns out the house might not be for sale.

Thanks all. We'll see what happens tonight.

I don't know if anybody is still reading this thread. I've kinda been blabbering to myself, but I have a quick question. I'm going to talk to her tomorrow (Sunady) night if an opportunity presents itself. Assuming I actually get a good conversation going and she is actually interested in me, would it be better to ask her out ("Hey, I was wondering if you might wanna go to lunch with me or something one of these days.") or ask her for her number ("Well, I'd better get back to work. You mind if I get your number so we can keep in touch?"). Again, I'm a complete newbie at these things. Thanks.

I wish I had a better memory. As an artist, I have an urge to draw this girl, but I can't remember what she looks like. Because she's on my mind her image will pop into my head at random times, but I can't make out the details. Frustrating! Edit: Yay. I sat down and thought about it until I could picture the details and sketch them down. It's amazing how much a single image can become etched in one's mind.

It's going to be a loooong two and a half days. =)

Heh, wow. I'm glad somebody is happy with not having a relationship.

Just turned 22. I've never had a girlfriend. I've never been on a date. I've never asked someone on a date, nor have I been asked on a date (actually, once in highschool I was, but I was too nervous and declined). I've never had a kiss. I am, of course, still a virgin. You (we) are not alone. Ever since I came to college I have been passively trying to find a girlfriend (I don't go out of my way to look for one). Yesterday was the first time in my life that a girl seemed sincerely interested in me and I was interested in her. I can't say if anything will come of it, but the point is that these things take time, but eventually a connection will occur. In highschool, I was overweight and didn't really have much self-esteem. I wasn't surprised that I never got a date. When I came to college I lost weight to the point that I was almost underweight. I've never cosidered myself as incredibly attractive. My ears stick out and my nose is kind of oversized (heh, I'm a amateur caracaturist). The thing is, I really haven't ever made an effort to "make" myself attractive. I'm just me. We cannot deny that physical attraction exists and that society drives us towards certain images, but everyone has their own tastes. I work with a lot of males who are very open about attraction and the girls they point out to me as attractive really don't appeal to me. Be yourself and be confident with yourself. Don't be afraid to show girls that you are interested in them. Look them in the eye and smile. That's all the advise I can give you because, frankly, I'm still very new at this.