Shadows Light

6 days post sex.... hmmm?? Go see a Doctor right away.....don't wait till hoping it will get better.... Well sometimes if BF is uhhmmm overly well endowed he'd hit your cervix during and that would give you the hit in the stomach pain...but that goes away as quick as a hit to the stomach. It could be that you have an infection going on. Yeast? or UTI (Urinary Tract Infection)... if you are feeling pain while going to the rest room. I don't think overly vigorous sex would cause pain 6 days post. He could have scratched you... if he used his fingers... dirty fingernails may leave an infection days later.. just a stretch guess... but possible. Your best bet is to go see a GYNO... just for a quick pelvic exam. Don't go flippin out.. its probably just a nasty yeast infection or UTI... but it does need attention or it won't go away. Sometimes when a woman first becomes sexually active.. the body needs time to adjust to ummmmm stuff. Regarding UTI... always make sure you go to the bathroom after sex.... bacteria can be pushed up into your urethra during intercourse and/or especially ORAL. By going right after sex... you flush out the system.

eeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwww I just thought of something... Don't WHINE. Keep the bad stuff to yourself. Anything bad happening that is a downer... uhhhhggg you'll have people running for cover quick if you start off a "PITY PARTY" story ..... and if you MUST... ie.. lets say..for instance you are recently divorced, look for a way to announce it that has a silver lining to it. Like, "yeah... I was thinking of purchasing a bigger house because we were running out of living space. But when I put pen to paper.. I found another way to get more CLOSET space.. so I got divorced." badda bing. LOL. Hey... it works. You can almost find humor to any human condition and issue.

Well... thats not true that you've gone backwards... pppssshhhawwww. What you were originally looking for were conversation starters.. lol. What to say... or not say. You have grown... are you up on current events?? have an opinion on them? What about that good ol stand by the WEATHER?? or talk about those pursuits you found on your own? Are you well read? What books have you read? Seen movies??? Music interests?? All those things have grown and changed I bet. Go have a good time and be yourself. I'm sure you'll be the hit of the party if you give yourself a chance to relax.... don't worry about what others will think.. or say or whatever... DOES it really matter?? Noooo... they don't pay your bills. So.. don't sweat it. Go to have a good time.

A. (by the way... the name thing gets me too.... with mine). I read your previous posts. So you love her eh??? Well then you wait for her. I think that was the advice you received from a few other posts. Do I detect a hint of GUILT on your part?? Just a question, since you seem to be brooding and drowning yourself in drink there. Exactly what are you upset about? Her moving in with her sister and not you? I understand that you want to be her champion and be on the recieving end of all that anger her husband is handing out. And the guilt you feel is because you feel responsibile. You said you seduced her. Darlin, if she didn't want to be seduced...it wouldn't have happened. It was a mutual connection you made. Not your fault or her fault. It's happened. The situation as it is .... is a delicate one. Not your typical romance that you can pull from field of experience and know...what is protocol, what is right and what to do next. Darn hollywood for not helping us out with this dilema... lol. And I read that you are afraid to lose her through the turbulant ride she's about to take through the DIVORCE ROLLER COASTER Ride. You have good reason to be troubled. Its not a fun process. Frankly it sucks the big sssswwwaaaazzzzzoooooo. OK... here's what you do. Let her fight her own fight with her husband. Its her battleground. But be there for her when she needs to talk, when she needs the support of those who love and care for her. Nope... won't be easy seeing her be emotionally pummeled...but...there's not much you can do about it. Except be there for her. And you can't be there for her if you're half slossshed in drink. Get it. Let nature run its course on this one. Don't pressure and don't manipulate the situation... she's in a very hurt and cofused frame of mind as it is. You pressure her... and those nearest and dearest (ie Sister) will tear you heart out. Her parents..and the "I TOLD YOU SO's" gotta love family. Family puts the FUN in dysfunctional, doesn't it. Well.. this is where she will have to navigate the waters and get through it. And the name thing for you..... HEY... they do it because it riles you. Ignore it... they'll lose interest in it and find other barbs to throw. They always do. LOL.

WOW...Swift... never thought of it that way... but Yeah thats just about it. Here walk through this bed of coals.... OKKKKKKK. LOL....... You know you are in love when you forget where or who you are....when you lose all sense of time and space... and everything else pales in comparrison.

Opposites do attract they say. Sometimes we are attracted to people who have qualities that we ourselves do not have. Its the old ying/yang thing.... And then unless you explore all the possibilites... how do you know what you like and what you don't like. Me? I keep myself open to NEW learnings everyday... ie... like trying something new on a menu at a restaurant... or a new flavor of ice-cream, you never know unless you try. So the fact that you find this guy fun and exciting to be with... although he's not what you are "conditioned" to... is not all that surprising. It means you are someone who is open to the world. Or... may be opening herself up to the world. Tension... gotta love that ol sexual tension. He maybe feeling it too if you've spent a lot of time together. I'd say... just keep being friends with him and let your instincts go. Let nature take her course. As Darkblue said... explore the friendship. The secret to a GREAT love affair is the ability to communicate and be above all best friends...trust an all that jazz. If you want to feel out the territory... then flirt with him a little bit and see how he responds. And... if you cross the line and he's not interested...thats ok. Really... take it as a learning. And just tell him how you feel. Honesty is the best policy. Good friendships are built on honesty. And sometimes there might be ONE who is WAY WAY attracted to the other...but the other doesn't feel it. Doesn't mean the friendship has to end. As long as everyone is honest and above board. Besides... maybe it'd give him an option to think about if he hasn't thought about it already. LOL. You'd certainly do lots for his ego. And my motto is.... Always leave a man in better condition then when you find him. Boosting his ego a bit and building self-esteem in someone else... ohhh yeah. Its a gift. LOL. Have fun. Let nature take its course. And don't worry over it too much. Enjoy the moment.

A brief comfort hug between friends... no not cheating. Laying on the couch spoons... YEP.... Its a close shared intimacy.... you've crossed the line.

PAYDREAMER.... Phone sex / Cyber sex......... hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm heeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyy.... I'm likig the sound of that...LOL. Those are GREAT ideas !!!!

OK... Tinkerbell... crash course. Can you ask BF to lead by example...does he talk to you?? ok... so what does he say to you?? can you mimic that but in reverse... can you whisper in his ear how he's driving you wild at that moment??? Telling him how much you love it when he does this... or how much you love it when he does that... ??? or how he's making you feel at the moment... lots of OMG's help.. lol.... I think since you've never done it...then a little goes a long long way....and with time it gets easier. And let your voice go... if he touches a sweet spot... let him know you like it... like when you are eating ice-cream and it tastes sooooo good and you just want the sensation to go on forever..'hmmmmmmmmmm' and it doesn't have to be loud if its in his ear.... soft..... If you talk to him... whisper in his ear....near his ear... its like telling the most intimate secret...and no one else will hear you..but him. Ok.... I'll give you an out of context example. Your BF is standing around with his friends at a party. You walk up to him and whisper in his ear... "I soooo want you." -so its quiet and no one hears but him. Or you whisper..."I need you... " or...."I want to feel you inside me...." You can do the same in bed. Whisper it in his ear... and be playful.. giggle in his ear.. give him a "hmmmm" in his ear. I guarentee... the response you get from him.. will make you want to whisper more sweet nothings in his ear. Its a huge huge turn on. You have to remember... there are 5 senses we have... Sight ( he see's you and you are OMG sooo beautiful). Touch (he can touch you and he feels the silkines of your skin). Smell.. (he can smell the blend of perfume you wear and your chemistry. Taste (he can taste you...you skin, you lips, your essense)...and then hearing (he can hear the pleasure he gives you.) Its his HIGH sign that he's touching the right places, he's doing the right things. With your voice you guide him. By doing this you stimulate all 5 senses. BTW.. if you are planning a seduction scene... think of all 5 senses. Music, (hearing). Candles (visual) Strawberries and whipped cream (Taste). Silk sheets (touch) Insense (smell). Stimulating all 5 senses at the same time... makes them be focused...they can't be anywhere else... they are there. You are creating Magic. Its not that hard.... Start out with the "hhhmmmms... that feels sooooo good" and then move on from there. Its like anything else... the more you do it.. the better you get at it. And yes... I understand how you feel about being self-conscience. Been there myself. Its a skill you are learning... he's introducing you to another erotic pleasure. Believe me.... its a good thing. For both. Ask him to lead by example. If he's not doing it too... then yeah... I can see where you'd feel... wide open and vulnerable. Once you start...and you feel what its about... you won't lose focus... you will never be more focused in your life. OK... what do you mean by focus??? are you concentrating on the sensation??? or are you somewhere else??? Meaning land of fantasy to help bring you over the edge... ??? ok.. then if this is the case... bring him into the fantasy... you don't have to open yourself up and tell him where you are... not until you are ready...but bring him in as far as sensation... give him the """ HMMMMMM that feels sooooo flippin gooooood". Make him the CHARACHTER in your fantasy world. It helps if you are wildly attracted to him... if your thinking about BRAD PITT... ok.. well... then you'll feel a little self-conscience... lol. But u don't have to tell him that. incidentally... if you have to think of Brad Pitt while... uhhh hmmm then maybe this guy is not for you. My opinion...my guy is right up there in my head playing havoc in my fantasy land. And THAT makes the experience sooo much richer. Like I said... it becomes easier. You mentioned not being able to vocalize right before... going over the edge.. Thats ok... use it as foreplay to get you there... to get him there. And being a screamer... LOL. Sometimes, that comes with time. LOL. PM me if you want... LOL. Let me know how it goes.

bbygrl... thats not entirely true.. You are on the right track. Everyone ovulates at a different time. You are going by reported averages. MY average is that I ovulate between day 11-13.... and I know that because I spent years on feritilty treatments. Taking my temp for years. Early morning BASAL TEMP.. and then later doing ovulation predictor kits. There are women... rare. That dump and egg right before period or during. If you are using that rythem method... OMG.. very unpredictable.. get something else more effective.

Thank-you Hope... I hadn't thought of that factor that she's not cycling regularly. I stand corretced. And yes... too true... the younger you are the more fertile. Don't I know it. Many bouts in the rink with fertility problems later in life. Your prenancy test kit will pick up the minutest amount of hormone... can't remember if its FHS or HCG... but its the one thats triggers your test strip. And on the back of the box it will tell you that you can do it at anytime. Try testing with your morning urine. Its more concentrated and will give the best results. No.. don't give yourself panic attacks for the next 3 weeks. Test in the next few days. Its worth the $10 to calm your nerves.

Well thanks in the boost in confidence VERT... lol I think you can compare them to roses... no two are the same.. and they are all beautiful, different and works of art. I liked this thread.. lol. Usually its the guys who are worried that they are NOT big enough... or what their size is... how many women do you hear about complaining about the size of thier nether lips...lol. Went to the links... Wow.. didn't realize there was that much variation to the female genitalia... learn something new everyday.

Again... I haven't made it through all 96 posts... I don't think I have the heart too... LOOK... I only touched on it in my LONG LONG email... you said it yourself... you kissed a boy and you were confused. You didn't know if you liked him at all...but when you kissed... all of a sudden it felt good. Its your body responding to a GOOD feeling. But it doesn't mean its a GOOD thing RIGHT now. Don't let these BOYS or GIRLS tell you that you are a PRUDE. or TRICK you into walking that road. ITS A HARD ROAD. Treat yourself with RESPECT... you know... as long as you keep your VIRGINITY..and your GIFT. ITs a TREASURE... its all your own. AND ... you walk down the halls of that school.. with your head held HIGH..and you let them call you a PRUDE..because you know what... YOU CAN SMILE and you can be confident that you still have that TREASURE. The longer you hold on to it... the GREATER the VALUE. You say you don't like yourself. Well..thats pretty much the NORM for a girl your age... NONE of us liked ourselves. We needed to grow into our own skins a bit to do that. You say your are doing drugs. OK... I'll give... I did too. I smoked pot at ... age 12 (shudder). I know.. I've been where you are. I was the PRUDE. I was called many things...and OHH YES.. I wanted to be the POPULAR girl. The one the girls envied and the boys thought HOT. But I didnt' take that road. I was scared. That scared feeling you get... LISTEN to it. Stay SCARED. Its your guardian ANGEL telling you .. something isn't right. Your mom is 33... I'm 38... comparatively.. your mom is quite a bit younger... When I was a senior in HS she was.... your age???? LOL. YOUR MOM... knows. She's been there. There's a GOOD reason she FLIPS out..and yessssssss.......she understands. She just doesn't know how to communicate with you because you are her daughter. SHE wants the very very very BEST for you. And the Very best.. is not SEX at age 13. Another poster here said.. if you can't talk to your mom. Find another adult female to talk to. GOOD idea. I was also lucky to have found a good friend. I was 15 and my best friend 35...and she filled in the blanks where my mother couldn't. I know.. you are scared. And I know that you are LONELY. And I know that you sooo want to be loved. But this isn't it. HOOKIN up...is not all that.... you are not ready. Not now. And there is NO WAY for any of us ladies out here to explain it to you in terms you will understand. But understand this... WE WALKED in your shoes. WE WALKED on that path. WE KNOW. Step back....and let it sink in... that little scared feeling you were getting... its telling you... you are not ready for this. And its not the right time.

I have not gone through all the responses you've gotten on this. But to date I can see there is 96. And I'll bet my last nickel that most of them will be the same as mine. DON'T.... Don't don't don't don't. You are not ready for sex at 13. And thats not coming from an old lady who doesn't remember. I remember VERY VERY VERY well my experiences at your age. Lots of things are happening to your body right now. You've changed and "JUST" became a young lady. Those puberty HORMONES.... gotta love em. All of a sudden BOY's look HOT. And you want something but you don't know what it is... ohhh you have a pretty good idea. But TRUST me... it isn't all that and a bag of chips. And not at your age. Not yet. This boy he's what 15??? cute eh... yeah. I remember the type. Seems so suave and sophisticated. Knows all sorts of cool stuff. All the cool music. All the cool people. All the cool moves. aahhh and he's into shrooms. Probably smokes a little weed... and hmmm yep...knows a thing or two about sex. Hence the condom packages on his wall. Wheeeewwww.... taking a deep breath. LOL. Well let me tell you.... he's not worthy of you. He's not worthy of your virginity... ORAL or otherwise. You're just gonna have to trust me on this one. Right now... is NOT the time. Sex.... making love... is a sacred thing. You only have ONE first time. ONE. And that one first time will be with you for the rest of your life. My babies are too little for me to have this conversation with. But if you were my daughter... This is what I would want for you. For your first time. I wouldn't want you in someone's back-seat.... or in someone's basement or house. For your first time, I'd say...make sure that its somewhere special. Very very special. And for your first time... make sure that its with someone you love. LOVE madly. Passionately. Can't live without. LOL. No.... you don't have to wait till you are married....or marry that man. But make sure its someone YOU LOVE. And that LOVES you in return. Why.... well, because since it is the first time and you will carry that memory with you for the rest of your life.... At least you will be able to carry THAT with you... and smile... you'll be able to think back to young Bobby and how much you loved each other... and sssshhheeeshhh it wasn't all that... I'm sure you've gone down these forums and done some reading. Good... educate yourself. The first time for a girl can be quite uncomfortable. And.... if you wait till you find that LOVE of LIGHT... maybe that will make it that much more bearable. And just maybe... maybe if you wait until you are a little older...and in love... maybe you will find a MAN who will bring you into womanhood with a little bit of FINESSE...lots of caring...and make it a GREAT experience for you. A 15 year old boy...and I stress BOY can not do that. He will not have had the life experiences to know how. And at 15.... he's still very much all about HIM. And all about how HE feels... to care, how its gonna feel for you. SIMPLE AS THAT. Now.... toss in the fact that he's had multiple partners already. And is into drugs. Did you mention he was BI. Sweet-heart...there's a word for boys like him.... MULITOV COCTAIL.... bad bad JU-JU. He is a great great risk to you. Now why would you want to throw your precious gift away on a boy like him????????????? You want to be able to look back with a grin and a smile and dream sweet dreams... not with regret, despair and a nightmare. RESPECT.... learn that word. And remember that. You need to find your SELF-RESPECT...and you need to keep it sacred and near to your heart. Don't give yourself away on a whim and a smile. Its something you have that you don't know you have until its lost.... or until someone has stomped all over. YOU... need to be able to look at yourself in the mirror and be proud of the choices you make in your life. And believe me... if you mess around with this CAT... you'll have a hard time winning your self-respect back...and a hard time looking in the mirror. Doesn't matter what your mom see's... what will you see when you look into your own eyes. Your mom... loves you like no one will ever love you in your life. You can only HOPE...that someday you find that LOVE from a MAN. And I stress MAN... because in the end... its only a MAN, whose grown up and into his own skin that will have had the life experience to know the difference between LUST and LOVE. Between SELFISH EGO and LOVE. Sooo pay attention to what your MOM has to say... talk to her if you can. Your mom... also remembers her teen years... lol..and I'm sure she shudders when she thinks of the mistakes she made or almost made. All of us moms do. Its like walking through a MINE field. And we've made it to the other side...and now we need to bring our kids through it.... and there's no WAY we can WALK IT with them... we have to stand on one side of the MINE field and try to direct you. LEFT... go a little this way... ohhh a little right... STOP.. don't go there... OMG.. stop... And we stand on this side full of anxiety and worry and PRAY to god you make it to the otherside whole...and not hurt. We cry...and we worry...and we are sooooo HAPPY when you've crossed over a little more and with everystep... not hurt, safe, and happy. When you make it through the obsticles... we cheer...and our hearts burst. Sooo your mom is not your enemy. And your mom knows and very well remembers what it was like WHEN..... I don't suggest you talk to her in the terms you've outlined in your post... but be a little more respectful. I'd have a difficult time hearing it from my daughter saying..."giving a guy head...or BJ'... I don't think I'd be able to listen past those words. But you might want to talk to her about... feelings you are having. You might want to talk her about.... other kids who are having sex. Or things you've seen on TV and break the ice with that. Let me help you out. My conversation with my mother started after we both watched a talk show that had pregnant teens on it. I turned to my mother and told her how WRONG I thought those girls were. And why. By opening up the discussion with her... my mother saw that I understood. And Trust was built between us. She could see she could TRUST me to make the right choices for myself. thereforeeee... I got a little more lee-way and was able to have a little more freedom and room to grow. So please don't take the plunge into woman hood just yet. Make it special. Wait. Giving "HEAD"... is in the same realm. Its the most intimiate of "kisses" you can give to a man. And Disease can spread this way too. This BOY wouldn't appreciate it either. Ohhh he'd TAKE... don't get me wrong.. but he wouldn't know how to appreciate your love. Sex... is and can be a magical wonderful experience. But it doesn't become that until you are much older. Until your mind, body and Soul are ready to experience it. ALL 3 have to be ready. Right now... your body is only JUST making the transition into being a WOMAN. You're not done yet. Your mind... Your mind is still growing...its got way's to go. And your Soul... your soul is still INNOCENT...and definitely not ready for this. WAIT... and hold out. And by all means.... educate yourself. Read as much as you can so at least you know. And protect yourself. Above all... if you won't follow my advice... or the advice of all 96 posters here... PROTECT yourself. Many Blessings to you young lady. May you grow to be stronger, wiser and all woman. Allow yourself the chance to grow up into the WOMAN that you were meant to be.

You might want to buy her or make her a small gift basket of goodies.... Go to a discount store and purchase a beard trimmer (inexpensive $15)....include batteries (LOL).. A pair of small shears, A can of shaving cream..lots on the market for women. A nice razor... Venus (its like a mach 3 and a very close shave)... maybe some bubble bath and bath goodies.....manicure pedicure stuff... lol...candles for her bathroom. Make her a nice CD she can listen to in the bath...and maybe inlcude a book (something a teeny saucey)....body lotion. And like the other readers said... be up front... tell her that you know girls LOVE bubble bathes and stuff to pamper themselves. And you could go through the basket together...and when you get to the trim stuff.... tell her you thought she might like to trim her bickini areas..bathing suit time you know... girls do that kinda stuff you figure. And then you can lead into a conversation about... you know.. it would be nice if you'd trim down there... I absolutely love oral... and I want to be able to make you happy. And sometimes its hard because hair gets in my mouth and it feels like I have a fur ball in my throat... (be off hand and light in this comment).... Tell her that you trim ( I hope you do..) so that she won't have the same tickle........................ Then you might suggest you do it for her.... and fun will be had by all.

Sweet heart.... if you have your period now. You are not pregnant...or the chances of you being pregnant are one in a million..... Throw yourself a party... And next time remember to use something. Missing one day on your BC won't hurt you too much. Double up on the next day. Just don't make a habit of it.

Dark...thats understandable. Thats why after this month.. if you descide that you want to continue as lovers... do yourselves a favor and have her look into alternative contraceptives. Nothing is fool proof but.. its less nerve wracking. Being this on edge and worried will shadow your experiences together. And who needs that right?

Desert Girl.... hmmmm well maybe I was wrong... maybe it is postiion dependant... will have to ahhhhh experiment with that hypothosis and try it again and again. And yeah.... one look, one touch... and I'm toast. Can start a forest fire.

What.. just had a HARRY MET SALLY orgasm.... ??? Yeah... as a matter of fact I did. Unplanned. Surprise. Quickie quickie sex.... YEP.... I sure did. LOL. And ........it was........ > very very very very nice.

When to discuss exclusivity and akwardness.... Well... if you've arleady made love, seen each other naked and swapped spit... I'd say you were past the AWKWARD stage and just say what needs to be said. Maybe just saying.. "you know.. I'm into Serial Monogomy..." and work the conversation from there... Seria Monogomy by the way... One person at a time in your life & bed. Quit being shy... its an important topic..just let it rip... what can you lose?

Did it feel good????????????? Well there you go... there's your sign. Not every orgasm is the same... and they are not position dependant. Can't predict them... can't tell you there's a recipe for a HARRY MET SALLAY Orgasm... but they do exist... LOL. ooohhh yessss. And they will sneak up on you at the oddest times... lol... And then there are the nice quiet swwweeeettttt....... aaaaahhhhhhhh... type orgasms... which are good too.. How can it be a bad orgasm...LOL. If you're happy you are happy.... if you've had one.. he**... don't knock it. And if you want the Harry Met Sally Orgasms... try try and try it again and again...LOL.

She's probably fine. As the previous poster wrote... its probably due to not being used to having sex that she's spotting. My first time I was really late on my period... a few weeks. Nerves? I don't know. I do know.. most women ovulate between day 10-14... this is when a woman drops an egg into fallopean tube. During this time... she is the MOST FERTILE. The way you count days... is the day she starts her period.. is counted as day number one. Usually there's a 28 day cycle on average. Soooo... if she is on a 28 day cycle. And you messed around on Thursday.... and you used a condom. The likelyhood of her being pregnant is slim. She's just nervous and new to this as you are. Heck, I thought I was pregnant my first round too. I think its probably a common occurrence amongst the newly deflowered. Do yourselves a favor. Do look in the phonebook for a planned parenthood clinic. Have her go in. Talk to someone. And get educated on contraceptive. Better safe than sorry.

Two adults. No strings attached elsewhere. Both needing companionship. Hey.. yeah, why not... as long as you both name your expectations. Friends w/ benefits... sure.

MJane... you'll be fine. Yes, it does make sense that you functioned at a higher level when the HURRICAINE of LIFE hit you. You were working on addrenulin.... almost makes you an addrenulin junkie. Becuase now things have slowed down...you feel like a deflated balloon. Where's that spark to keep you going? Yes. Its normal and you are ok. You are strong strong woman. LOL. And those men that walked on you... pssshhhaawww... they couldn't weather it. And do you really want a man in your life that can't weather a storm? or runs and hides when one comes up?? he** no. You want a man in your life that will stand by your side and face the tide with you. Holding your hand, looking you in the eye...laughing and say..bring it on...we can do this. LOL. The rough times. Yes, they come in like a storm. Thats when you gotta be like that mighty oak tree... drop roots and just hang in there. Which you did.... YOU DID IT... pat yourself on the back... You have learned so much and grown so much from this experience. Doesn't seem like it yet. But don't sweat it. You'll be ok. Now....what are we doing for fun???? Make yourself an appointment at your nearest spa/salon...and treat yourself to a manicure/pedicure.... or whatever you can afford. Go and buy yourself a new outfit... and call one of your GF's up... and go dancing. Throw yourself a party...because you deserve it.

ppppiiiissshhhaaawww.... Chin up darlin... no big thing. Get back up...and into the ring. Its not the story of your life.... you are writing the story of your life... and you are a fighter..and you are a winner. Winners don't get down..they keep getting up and keep on going. Don't sweat it.... just smile that little smile of yours...and say.."NEXT".