REALITYMAN

i think you should keep talking to him , but in a less pushy way . in other words show you care and be there for him , but dont push . show a little independence . it may help . he may turn around and want you . sometimes people dont realize what they have until it is not around them . i say give it time . meanwhile focus on yourself and doing things that make you happy , being totally in his world only , is not fair to you . you had a life before you met him , so think about your needs and likes . good luck for now . take care .

I KNOW IT HURTS TO LOSE A PERSON YOU LOVE . MY GIRLFRIEND DUMPED ME BECAUSE SHE DECIDED THAT HER LIFE OVERSEAS WAS WHAT SHE WANTED RATHER THAN ME AND A LIFE LONG HAPPY LIFE WITH ME . WE WERE PLANNING TO MARRY . TALK ABOUT SHOCK . I COULD NOT BELIEVE WHAT SHE TOLD ME . BUT I FEEL THAT SHE WILL REALIZE ONE DAY AND COME BACK . I TRIED TO EXPLAIN THAT SHE WAS WRONG AND SHE SHOULD COME BACK . BUT SHE CHOSE THAT . BUT I STAND TALL AND KNOW THAT GOD LOVES ME AND ALL WILL WORK OUT FOR MY GOOD . I SAY YOU SHOULD THINK THE SAME . YOU ARE A WONDERFUL PERSON AND YOU SHOULD NOT GET DOWN OVER YOUR BOYFRIEND NOT REALIZING YOUR WORTH . GO OUT , BE WITH FRIENDS AND PRAY GOD WILL HELP YOU . GOOD THINGS WILL HAPPEN . GOD BLESS YOU . YOU CAN TALK I WILL LISTEN . TAKE CARE ,

WHAT GOOD IS ACTING IN A WAY THAT IS NOT THE REAL . SHE WILL SEE THE REAL YOU LATER ON AND THEN NOT BE ATTRACTED TO YOU . JUST BE RELAXED AND TALK TO A GIRL AS IF YOU ARE TALKING TO A FRIEND . THE KEY IS DO NOT BE ALL NERVOUS ABOUT TALKING TO HER . SHE WILL SEE THIS AND NOT WANT TO GET TO KNOW YOU . . OK . REALITYMAN. .

- get to you . I know it is tough to do . You should focus on what you like to do and spend time with people that are uplifting . Stefanie said some really interesting things . I like her thoughts too . She makes sense . Stefanie , I am sorry you dealt with people like thjat for so many years . But I am proud of you for not allowing it to drag you down to their level .You must be a special person . But getting back to what I was saying , you havexalot going for you n, do not get down on yourself .You are a winner , if you see yourself as a winner . Do you understand ? It has been a pleasure speaking to you . BEST WISHES , R. M.

You are a unique person . Why should you change . These people you speak about sound like idiots . They probably are not quality people . . You sound like a decent and caring guy . I say be yourself and care about what you think and not what others think . believe me over time people will see your attributes as a person . Do not put yourself down . you are a valuable person . we all are . YOU HAVE TO NOT WORRY ABOUT FITTING IN . you are a good guy and you just keep on being yourself . do not become a jerk just to be like stupid people . . eventually people will see that you are a genuine person and not phony like them . Girls are not your main focus in life . just be the best person you can be . but always be who you are ! good luck . r. m.

she is obviously not as serious as you are in the future aspect of your relationship . if she was , she would respect you more rather than take chances being with a new guy . she seems too confident in that you will not break up and leave her . i think you need to meet with her and tell her straight out , what do you want ? do you want us and a future or do you want to play games ? if she really wants the relationship she will tell you and show you by her actions . you have to be a man and stand up for yourself . ok . keep in touch . good luck . r.m

what do you really feel ? could it be that you are afraid of the commitment stage you are entering and want to do this to run away from the serious relationship ? could it be fear ? why would you have these thoughts if you love him ? i think you are getting cold feet , thus , you want to find an outlet . i hope it helps . do not do it if you are afraid of commitment . good luck , realityman

HI , I KNOW THAT LIFE SEEMS BAD SOMETIMES . I RECENTLY LOST MY MOM AS SHE BECAME VERY ILL . I FELT HURT AND DISAPPOINTED AND YOU WONDER WHY DID THIS HAPPEN ? THE HOLIDAYS WERE VERY HARD AS NO ONE RECOGNIZES MY PAIN . BUT I LOOK TO THE FUTURE THAT ALL WILL GET BETTER . I WAS ENGAGED AND MY GIRLFRIEND DECIDED TO LEAVE AND LIVE IN EUROPE AND BROKE UP WITHOUT AN EXPLANATION . I KNOW THE HORRIBLE PAIN YOU FEEL . I FEEL FOR YOU . YOU START TO FEEL WHY ME ? I AM A GOOD PERSON , YET WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN ? BUT YOU HAVE TO FOCUS ON THE GOOD IN YOUR LIFE AND TRY TO DIMINISH THE NEGATIVE . SMILE WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE CRYING AND BELIEVE THAT EACH DAY WILL BE A BRIGHTER DAY . IT IS HARD , BUT BELIEVE IT AND IT WILL HELP PULL YOU THROUGH . EVEN PRAYER HELPS TOO . I WISH YOU THE BEST AND I HOPE YOUR HOLIDAYS WILL CHANGE YOUR FOCUS . BEST WISHES , HAPPY NEW YEAR , R.M.

NO , I AM SAYING THAT YOU DESERVE A SPECIAL GUY WHO IS STRONG AND PROTECTIVE , YET WARM AND TENDER AND UNDERSTANDING TOWARDS YOUR NEEDS AND FEELINGS . I AM THIS TYPE OF MAN . YOU SEEM LIKE A SPECIAL PERSON AND WHY SHOULD YOU LOWER YOURSELF . I AM LIKE THAT . I KNOW IT IS RARE , BUT I FEEL YOU DESERVE THAT . WHY PUT UP WITH COLD OR INDIFFERENT BEHAVIOR? I THINK YOU DESERVE BETTER THAN THAT . YOU HAVE TO STAND UP FOR YOURSELF . IT IS NICE TALKING TO YOU. HAVE A GREAT DAY ! BEST WISHES , R.M.

i feel he is just being himself . this is the way he is . he is not thinking about your needs . so he may act rudely but it is his demeanor .i believe that a man should always be GALLANT , RESPECTFUL AND BE A CARING PERSON TOWARDS HIS GIRLFRIEND . . GOOD LUCK . BEST WISHES , R.M.

i agree with prosper . you should just go ahead and call . you have nothing to lose . you can just say you are making plans for the holidays and had some time open during this time and you wanted to know if he would be available . if not ok fine , another time . if he wants to see you he will respond in a positive manner . i know it is not easy to do , but you otherwise you may be waiting for no reason . ok. i hope it helps , good luck , realityman

no , you were being honest with him . you told him how you felt . like i stated earlier , he is not the gallant gentleman that will lead and be your hero . he is wimpy . i think you scared him , because he is not used to your remark . so he probably does see himself as confused . because he does not know what to do ? he also does not know what to say ? he may be intimidated by you at this point . but i would wait he may call you . after he gets over it . don't give up on him yet .

look i understand you . you are a young woman who wants a real man and to express his thoughts and feelings towards you as a man should . your guy , he acts like a wimp . you should not have to be the man in the relationship . it is his job as a man . no woman will be attracted to a guy who is girlish . she needs a man to be strong and protective and lead her . she needs her hero. i am this way . i find it disappointing that women have to deal with these weak men . if you have to be the man and do the work of the man you will lose any attraction . afterall the point is to have fun and be in the company of a man who knows what life is about and makes your life more interesting . i just said what i feel . this is what i believe . i am this way . it is natural . i hope it gives you some insight . happy holidays ! , johnny

i am going through a similar situation . i posted my story today . i am realityman . i feel you need to ignore her . just do it . in time she may miss you and come back . i know it hurts bad . i am feeling sad too in my situation . but she leaves you no other choice but to wait . meanwhile go to family and friends and focus on the holidays . but do not call her . it will push her away . she needs to reconsider her decision . ok . this is my advice . read my post /it is the one that says i want her back , but how ? happy holidays , realityman

hi , i have a long story . i was in a long term relationship and we were planning on getting engaged and eventually get married . i have known her 7 months and we lived together for 2 months . she had plans to go to university here and even open a small business and i was all for it . she seemed happy and we spent alot of time together and it was great . she had all these ideas and plans for our future . i truly love her . she has a sister and her dad living out of state . he called and told her that he wanted her to come back . she told me that she told him that she would not . she told me that she will be with me . we continued talking about our plans for the future . two days later she was visiting her mom as she always did on the weekends . i was expecting her back . she emails me that she flew to be with her dad and sister and there were some problems she needed to deal with . i gave her my support and told her i am here weaiting . she said she would explain . she needed time to sort things out . well, one month went by and she still had not explained . i called and wrote for 2 months . i asked for her to come .she told me she would come to visit . she signed up at university there .she began school . i was not happy , but i figured it would be temporary . i ketp writing and asking about when she would come ? i told her i wanted us to be together for the holidays . well , she wrote back that she decided that hewr life is great where she is and she is happy she decided to go there and i should just move on . i asked her why ? she said she did not love me and i should just accept that i could not be her boyfriend . this was a total shock for me . she never explained anything and then says this . so i decided to tell her that i love her and i do want us to be together , but it is her decision . i basicallt lry go and left it in her hands . now it has been 2 weeks and i have been doing no contact . i am confused and wondering will she come back to me ? what does it all mean ? what should i do ? we were so happy and i love her so much . thank you for your input . i am sorry if it is lengthy to read . happy holidays , r.m.