Venturer

So are you saying that I should space masturbating and having sex with a girl by at least 12 hours to reduce my refractory period? I'm a little confused there... Have you ever tried viagra before? I hear it decreases your refractory period. Not that I'm planning to pop those blue pills... I'm pretty leery of drugs that I've never taken before! Not to brag, but in one of my best marathon sex sessions, I jokingly said that if we kept this up, I might need viagra sooner or later. She laughed and said "you don't need viagra..." that was one of the best compliments I've ever gotten in the sack. But now I want to get myself jump-started and vault myself back to cloud nine... maybe I've been eating too much junk food? What foods do you usually eat, and what do you find that helps you? I'll also get back to exercising that PC muscle as well! And I need to exercise my full body too!

Yeah, thats how it has been with me. by the way, your boyfriend doesn't need to masturbate because he's in a relationship with you. Been working on that for a while! I haven't been able to get things going beyond 3-5 dates. I don't know about that. If I masturbate a lot (1-2+ times a day), it might keep me from being able to get it up when the big moment comes. I just don't know, man.

Hi, I'm a 27 year old male and I have a bit of a problem with premature ejaculation. First a little history. I have had only a couple of girlfriends and a few flings here and there, so my sexual experience is limited, but not totally lacking. I visit quite a few porn sites and masturbate 3-4 times a week. Sometimes when the girl and I get it on, I ejaculate before I want to (within 2-4 min). It doesn't happen every time, but when it does it's kinda embarrassing. The girl usually gives me a look that says, "hey, what gives?" I usually reply, "Don't worry, it happens. Give me 20 minutes, and I'll be ready to go again." Sometimes I do get ready again, and sometimes I don't make it to a second round. A few girls were understanding, but most of them never saw me again. Other times, this pre-ejac bug doesn't bite me... in these cases, I was able to last as long as I wanted. In these times, my penis would be rock hard, but feels less sensitive. In those times when I pre-ejac, my penis is extremely sensitive but not 100% hard. This has especially been the case with blowjobs. To compound the problem, whenever I try to put a condom on, my penis tends to go flaccid. Going condomless, however, is not an option for me unless I'm married! I find that massaging the base of my penis helps a litte, but I often forget these things in the heat of the moment. The problem is, I don't know which one of myself is going to show up before a session - the marathon man or the minute man - especially with a new girl. That concern alone has been putting myself under a lot of pressure, and that pressure can (and has) messed things up. So what I'm asking is... how do I make myself last long every time? All I want to ask for are two things: 1) a girl who is understanding about pre-ejac issues, and 2) the confidence that I can go in and last as long as I want. I know that under certain conditions, I can last very long. But I want to emulate those conditions every time, but I'm not quite sure what these conditions are! Is it what I eat? How often I exercise? Morning vs. Night sex? I find that I like morning sex better and I last longer, but I haven't been able to find a girl willing to spend an entire night with me lately! I feel that I haven't been given enough chances to shine in the bedroom. One more thing, I've done those Kegel exercises for a few months in the summer of 2003, and I found that they help tremendously. I was able to last as long as I wanted and cum whenever I wanted... and that magic went on until the end of 2004. But since then, I haven't been able to emulate the same thing with a girl, but I still can when I'm masturbating. Maybe I should start doing Kegels again? Problem is, I keep forgetting. Any other remedies out there? Thanks for your help.

Maybe his online persona is WAY different than their real life. That's the trouble with online dating...

If it's just a weekend thing... like going to a wine festival some 2 hours away, or even to the beach... then that's cool. But all the way to singapore? I dunno... that's too much.

What, are you kidding? Men do have feelings. Some guys don't show it, other guys are open books.

This girl sounds like she's bi-polar. My first girlfriend of a year and a half was bi-polar. Believe me, it was NOT fun at all. Run. I mean, don't just run... get in a spaceship and get the heck outta there... PRONTO!

Yeah, I've been spending a lot of time with him lately. We even went to Hawaii last week. Didn't you mention a trip to Hawaii where your mom went in between treatments?

it might be a power or control thing... I don't know.

I just found this thread, Raykay. Glad your mom is feeling better, and sorry you had to go through that. My dad went through something similar a year and half ago (multiple meyloma) and nearly passed away due to pneumonia, but he's fine now. Keep us posted.

If you enjoy running, then do that. If you consume less calories than you burn, you will lose weight. But nobody really bothers to count calories they eat, just go running 1-2 miles a day, 4-5 days a week, for a few weeks and see what results you get... and adjust accordingly.

As I've made clear before, nobody is forcing anyone to have sex... and personally, I am not recommending nor seeking any action that would be frowned upon by any society that has any common sense.

no offense aggierocker, but you're still 18... wait till you're 26 and your metabolism slows down.

Wow, it's hard for me to believe that even GUYS would do this to their gfs and wives. Me? Personally, I can't IMAGINE myself turning down sex with my gf/wife for more than two days! It's anathema!

That's what I've been doing since January, and my body fat went down from 22% to 15%. you wouldn't see a difference though because I've always been thin, but I can say that my flab in the abs is slowly but surely going away Instant workouts! Cost: $0 Time spent: 1-3 minutes longer than you'd otherwise have if you taken the elevator Amount of commitment: Virtually none. Just keep reminding yourself. Membership/photo ID required: No Special instructions: Bring an extra deodorant with you; this might make you sweat in your nice clothes. PS. Don't try this if you have bad knees...

Well, that was a couple of years ago. As far as I can remember, we'd been dating for a month when she went out of town for a few days. Up until that point, no problems in the sex department. But when she came back, we stopped having sex because she wouldn't accept my advances. First time, I let it slide. But it happened like 3 more times, she kept saying "I'm tired" or "I don't want to." Even when she wasn't visibly tired. I asked her a couple of times over about a week, "is something wrong? you can talk to me about it..." and she said "nothing." So next time I tried to initate and she stopped me, I asked her what was going on and said that lately she didn't want to have sex and that made me think that something was up. Instead of telling me what was going on, she got all defensive and said "just because you want sex doesn't mean you can have it!" It went downhill from there and I eventually broke up with her. So it was the beginning of the end. Even now I still don't have a clear idea why she stopped having sex with me.

Oh yeah, after I come... it gets really sensitive to the touch. So if she continues with the BJ or keeps riding me, I'd think that I'd have a heart attack soon.

A couple of things: 1) Sorry I wasn't clear in my first post. I'm talking about a repeat scenario, as opposed to a one-time thing. One time? I'll let it slide. But three or four times in a row? I'm thinking something is not right here. 2) Nobody is forcing anybody to have sex. Doing that would make things far far worse than things already may be. Other than that, I like the suggestions brought up here. Keep them coming! By the way, this was a general question - I don't have a gf right now. But in the time that happened to me before, I got a little hurt and miffed when she turned me down for the third time in a row... and it probably showed. I tried to get her to talk about what's wrong, and she refused to say what's the problem.

...you go for sex with your gf/wife and she goes, "not now, I'm too tired" or "not tonight, I don't want to" ?? I've been in that place before, and it sucks. Needless to say, I didn't handle it well. Thoughts? (if you're a woman reading this, just flip the "gf/wife" around to "bf/husband")

I'm a nice person at heart, and I don't like to hurt people's feelings. But if push comes to shove, I will lay down my cards and say I'm not interested, sorry.

Dang... I should've never given my dog away.

nah, what's the point in replying?

This girl sounds really flakey... she backed out of a formal in NY a few days before she was supposed to go? How do you think she's gonna treat a 1 hour coffee date? Tsk!

Ah... sounds like she's trying to give herself a backup plan so she could wriggle out of this date at the last minute. I would never agree to this. I would've said something like, "oh, are we making excuses now? tsk tsk... why don't we pick another day that we are both absolutely sure that we can go out. Let's do tuesday... can you make tuesday? Ok great... meet me at xxxx at 8 pm. See you then!" Then hang up! No calling back to "confirm", no chance for her to say that "something came up and I can't make it" ... just go on the date. If you get stood up, so be it! If she shows up however, you know you've played your cards right. From my personal experience, you MUST take a hard line with this. No exceptions. Geez, why do women always try to give themselves a chance to wriggle themselves out of a date! That's so immature and stupid game playing! Ok ok... I'll hit the "submit reply" before I get myself too worked up about this

You say he doesn't live close to you... maybe that's on his mind and he's not sure if he wants to put in the effort. How long does it usually take him to call? Or does ever call?