Amannamederic

i dont think anything outside of surgery will change that...if there is i havent heard about it and if anything out there actually worked im sure every man on earth would know about it, sorry man but you've just got to live with what you've got you know? surgery has the possibility of damaging it beyond repair. -Eric

hes a teenage boy...he'll be interested. however on the off-chance he isn't id definetly mention it to him over the phone and find out his true thoughts. Chances are you'll really turn him on with just your words. If he is still reluctant its probably because hes uncomfortable. In my opinion oral sex is one of the best things people in their teens can do to show love and affection with minimal risk. Your showing him that you care for him and want him to feel good physically, make sure he knows that and i think you'll see him start to loosen up. Good luck, -Eric

I hope your ready for some tough love because ive got a tone to give you: First, your not over her. Thinking to yourself that he deserves better than her is nothing more than you trying to justify her not finding happiness without you. You need to stop that because you will spend (and by the sound of things already have spent) months pining away at something that obviously isn't coming back. I'm not trying to sound mean this is just how it is, she sent you that picture because she thought you could use closure, you've been continually contacting her for the past few months and showing her that she has you under her little finger. At the very least respect her for making an effort to turn your life around by shocking you enough to forget about her. I'm very sorry to hear about your accident but telling her was the wrong thing to do, your further cementing the "nice guy" syndrome (ill explain it later) Man, i can relate to you so bad, my first ever post on this site was a situation like this. So im gunna tell you straight out. Calling her every day and accusing her, attacking her, trying to make her feel sorry for you isn't being a nice guy. As a matter of fact, the "nice guy syndrome" is documented and recognized by psychologists as a martyr. A man who is so consumed with a woman that he puts his own needs behind her simple desires. Women do NOT find this sweet, they find it frightening and deeply annoying im sorry i know this kills because you think you did it all right and are the victim here...i did too awhile ago until someone told me exactly what im telling you...Women don't want lapdogs, they want MEN. Men who they know can defend them, or watch out for them, who have their own lives and are completely comfortable with themselves as people. Ask yourself, did you do these sort of things when you were together? Automatically give in when you two fought? Cried over her and made sure she knew because you thought it would make you sweeter? And of course we know what your doing wrong now that you 2 arent together. Odds are she wasn't thinking you were sweet when you did all of this 20 times, she was thinking oh my god if i ever leave him he'll kill himself...well maybe not that extreme but you get the picture. This is when you HAVE to quit calling her because it will only go downhill from here. From the sound of things you haven't called to say hi, you've called to express your hurt to her, try to make her feel bad. STOP IT, im guessing it wont be much longer until she's going to start feeling threatened and you do not want to be slapped with a lawsuit over some girl. You do want too much out of her, she broke it off with you because she wasn't feeling the same about you as before. Your not letting her live her life man and you need to. She is a person too, just like you, she has another boyfriend, so what, its just as easy for you to meet someone new too. I'm sure there are plenty of people in your area that would love a chance to hang out with you and if thats not your thing you could always go online for a friend to talk to and make it develop (i actually know a few people who made it work by just talking a little each day) Love hurts, it hurts bad, the girl i broke my "nice guy syndrome" on still gives me panic attacks at the very mention of her. I'm not talking about nervousness im talking sweating/EXTREME upset stomach/jealousy so bad it makes my head hurt/fatigue but unable to fall asleep. I get all of that everytime someone thinks its cool to remind me that she left me for someone else after 2 years together (in highschool! which equates to a million years as an adult trust me...any highschooler who has tried to have a long lasting relationship will vouch for that one lol). But you know what? i got over it, i deal with those attacks now and just sort of accept them as the whole first-love hurts the worst thing. People are going to tell you to just take your time and slowly get over her but that doesn't always work and i want you to know that im here with the same thing if it happens to you. I had to bury her and you might too. Its ok though. Crying is ok, let it all out man, pull out the sappy songs, all the pictures/letters/memories you have of her and get rid of them. You don't need the opportunity to remind yourself of what you lost. Delete her number, look at other women even if you don't want to. Make a list in your head of the things you have to offer people and give yourself pleasure in knowing that she won't have a guy like you since you are completely unique. I bet your starting to feel a little better already! Here's another thing that always helped me in the first 5 months when my attacks were the worst. Lift weights. I cannot stress enough how much strength being pissed off at someone gives you, the weights don't care how hard you jerk them around. Your body will feel good because it will be being worked, and you know what? your going to be so high on adrenaline from anger that your muscles will build faster too! mine did! There are plenty of things to do to relieve stress and hurt, ive tried to give you a few here but nothing can replace good, old fashioned talking, i like that you have a therapist, vent on him/her because its in confidentiality and you can erupt and say whatever without anybody ever knowing or being annoyed. Please PM me if you want i know exactly what your going through and would like to help further if you wish, Good luck man, -Eric

haha im the same age as you and still have no "game" as the kids today call it. Here's what i do though, ive made my fair share of mistakes so lets start with the DON'T's lol. 1) never give YOUR number unless being asked (oohh yes ive done that, she seemed happy as hell to get it but never called) 2) Don't call the same day you get her number (makes you seem anxious or whatever) ok heres what i usually do...ill watch for awhile until i find something she does each day, like reading a book or something or working on the same class's homework day after day, walk over like im not gunna go and say something simple like, "hi im eric, whats your name?" and if she tells me her name with a smile then i sit and ask what shes up to, if shes doing something i know i might even offer to help a little bit. The sketchy part comes next, what to talk about after those crutial moments. Usually i pull a hit-or-miss attempt with something really stupid like, "sorry if me showing up seems random but i needed a good excuse to get a little closer to you." Based on her reaction to that id go to..."well hey if you liked talking to me here then maybe youll like talking to me over the phone sometime...can i call you?" and after i get her number, say goodbye and walk away. Don't over do it on the first run, gotta leave her wondering about you because girls seem to respond to that. Like i said i have no game either so this post can help both of us, use it if you wish...but ladies tell me if i suck at asking and feel free to make suggestions lol! Good luck man, -Eric

bus stop?, love ya honey? hugs? im guessing your in 6th-9th grade and in that case yeah she probably does, girls that young always seemed to be self-conscious about the image they gave off to me so i say go for it man. Good Luck -Eric

sorry i just read your previous post and what i was typing has no bearing there so heres a separate one. This girl seems weird, no woman turns down 10 years of a good thing unless it wasn't really good. i know your telling yourself "it was perfect! shut up!" but chances are it probably wasn't were you a "nice guy"? * cough martyr. thats right, if you smothered her with attention and put her happiness ahead of everything in your life than that might have been your problem. I dont understand why she turned down friendship but then again women are mysterious arent they lol. Im sorry my previous post was useless -Eric

ive had the same thing happen to me although the friendship was for only 3 years. it sounds like you might have had more on your mind than she did when it came to you guys, she probably met some new people that excited her and left you, hoping her feelings meant more than friendship, as an afterthought. you might have lost a best friend but that feeling passes trust me, just hang out with your other friends (assuming you have them which you probably do lol) and youll find she'll fade away rather quickly, whether its 3 or 10. I hardly ever think of the person im not friends with anymore even though we had the greatest relationship possible and even took it to a romantic level (probably what ended it). Just dont let your feelings for her go making you chase because that will cause an embarrassing situation that trust me...take it from me on this one again...you want to avoid at all costs. Good Luck -Eric

crap it didnt make it big bold and red like i wanted it to be...oh well point still made

i hope im not too late lemme spell this out the way it seems to me lmao HE FINDS YOU SEEEXXXXYYY AND YOU SHOULDN'T WASTE ANY TIME lol i hope this font went back to normal but yeah, i always do that, sit next to a girl i like in hopes that maybe ill get a smile or a kind word cuz usually thats enough, even though sometimes ill lose track of my judgement and just start talking i duno why he hasn't though. go ahead and talk, you wont regret it and the fact that you are willing to make a stand is sexier than women are lead to believe. good luck! -Eric

lol wow im sorry man but i do have to tell you...watch out she'll be ecstatic that your 21 but just for that reason...your 21, younger girls like the attention older guys give em and this sounds like pure jailbait to me so i agree, just be friends and NEVER put a hand on her EVER unless its a hug surrounded by 20 million witnesses lol just messin. seriously thought be careful im sorry she is so young though, -Eric

how many months is a few months? it sounds to me like your boyfriend is startin to have those committment issues we have become so famous for. Probably doesn't want to be too attached to someone so early in highschool (im assuming your a sophie) so my advice is this, just dont talk to him, let him make contact with you, if he breaks it off youll know for sure, just act like he doesn't bother you and when he sees you laughing in the hallway with your friends or talking to another guy trust me, he'll be going insane over whether or not your laughing about him, or if you like that guy. Its gunna be tough to do but i doubt itll come that far, just try for a week just waiting on him, if worst comes to worst and he never comes around then you can sort of move on because he sounds like hes being pretty gay about his responsibilities. take my advice for what you think its worth ok? good luck -Eric

i cant say that a sexless relationship isnt possible as it has been for the last 6 months or so...even though im not COMPLETELY happy im still happy and like her company alot, ill probably own up and tell her tho, thanks again -Eric

lol this is good stuff, marriage has been discussed but i suppose you guys are right, its worthless for a guy my age to be thinkin that right now. Indeed, it was easy to start out with i wasnt even interested in doing anything (by product of months without) but then all of a sudden a hand was digging between my legs (she didnt waste time lol) and all of a sudden hormones/emotion rushed and i was like wwoooww what have i been missing so i broke. She is a serious girl, a girl who wants to skip the 20's dating and go right to marriage, and with all the horror stories id heard maybe i thought that was right for me too...guess ive got some cool thinking to do, thanks for your help this gave me a much needed laugh. -Eric

i have a probably helpful probably a bit shocking answer for you the shocking part is that yes...guys look at porn, it doesnt matter who we look at though so dont think hes falling in love with someone who does freaky stuff for money that couldnt be farther from the truth. Honestly, guys would never ACTUALLY get with a porn star (at least i wouldnt) purely for the reason that shes had EVERY guy pretty much lol, outside of disease, these guys are all tan muscular etc etc etc blah blah blah and i for one am not tan haha. However your man is taking it a bit too far with the adding of names. They could all be friends but probably not, i would mention it to him and see how well he knows some of these women. Secondly, who cares who you talk to in your own time, he shouldn't run your life or else your pretty much headed for a miserable marriage so go ahead and talk to other boys as long as your confident enough in your relationship to know that you'll stay faithful. Porn sucks, simply put it ruins alot of would-be marriages, it has for friends of mine in college...it has for adults i knew...so make sure you talk to him, the best thing you can probably do is just understand why he looks at it and what he gets out of it (if he tells you then youve got yourself a winner) Good luck i hope this eases your mind a little bit -Eric

Ok, over spring break i had a little mental lapse and cheated on my girlfriend while she was in San Fransisco with a girl who seems to always be right there to tempt me. Even though its probably 100% my fault for allowing her to do so i gave in last night and saw her without the intent of cheating. However she was persistent and ended up giving me oral sex. I'm not going to whine and cry about it but i do know there are things about my current relationship that make me extremely unhappy/bored but i look past because i figure that this sort of relationship is what i need since ive been in just physical relationships in the past. For the past 6 months er so she hasnt touched me once, we had a fireball period where she couldn't get enough of me but then one day she felt guilty and since then hasnt even tried with me, our sex life consists of only me giving her orgasm on command (yeah ive done it so many times i know exactly what happens when she does it lol so that isnt just me being arrogant). Shes a god-fearing lady and has often tried to convert me to her religion which i dont really want but whatever i like her shes nice, and innocent, and funny, all things i value above my wanker's happiness. Ive talked to her about this before and she says to not pressure her and that it will happen when we are married but not before (im assuming this means any contact with me whatsoever) i know shes satisfied because i do it whenever im asked and i cant say no because i am a boy and thats my only link to intimacy. I guess im just looking for an opinion that might be what im fearing...am i gunna go to hell for this?! lol i feel horrible about it so naturally thats going through my head but without any sort of contact in months...i dunno, give me opinions on the situation if you have them good/bad please. -Eric

hey guys, ok so a few days ago i broke up with my girlfriend of six months because we fought all of the time, there was no alone time for just the two of us, and a bunch of other reasons. Being her first boyfriend, she didnt take it so hot and was crying pretty bad for 2 days during school/at home etc. I had offered to be her friend and went out of my way to console her and talk to her to try and make her feel a little bit better (mistake?) but she would have none of it saying that it was an all or nothing situation. After i told her that i really wanted to just be friends for awhile she started getting REALLY mean, she asked for all of her CD's back, wouldnt look at or talk to me in the halls, ran away whenever i tried to say hello, and just generally gave me a mean attitude towards everything. I was still just doing friendly contact to make sure she was ok. well after the 2nd day of being treated like i wasn't alive i decided to say to hell with her and gave my number to a girl who i had often caught looking at me and who always seems to pop up beside me when im walking and turn her head back to see if im looking or something i dont know. This evening my ex calls me up crying hysterically because she just wants me to talk to her because shes never hurt this bad before in her life and cant believe that im not hurting as bad as she is. So my anger sort of goes away and i talk to her and try to make her feel better for about another hour until she isnt crying so much anymore. Then we start talking a little and i asked her what she would do if she saw me with another girl. She said she would be jealous and probably cry again because that would mean i didn't love her anymore. This has me feeling really crappy until she mentions that theres another boy she thinks is cute and describes him but doesnt mention his name or anything, just that she walks by him once a day and thinks hes cute. Being a fool i bit into what im assuming was a jealousy trick? (clarify me on that one im not too sure) and told her about the girl i had given my number to. She got quiet and said she wished people wanted her number so that she could get over me as quickly as i had obviously gotten over her. I told her that the newer interest hadn't called me yet and she said well of course not eric shes probably scared to death your supposed to ask her for HER number not give her yours. Yeah i guess i could buy that but what are the chances that a girl is scared to call a guy she thought was good looking (judging by the smiling and giggling that was done when i gave her the piece of paper with my information). So i guess to recap my 2 questions are: 1) Was mentioning a nameless, gradeless, face in the hallway a jealousy trick to try and get me to want my ex back? 2) Is it possible that i wasn't called because she was just scared? Or maybe didn't like me as much as i thought...or maybe (probably) the fact that i should have asked for her number and thereforeeee ruined the whole approach. Thanks for any help you guys can give. -Eric

This might be scary but its a real problem... Pimples on or around the anus area have the potential to be the first sign of a very serious disease i read about in men's health called MLS or something. I cant really remember the cause but if your a female athlete or even just a normal person (although its seen mainly in athletes) these pimples, if accompanied by a flu-like illness can be fatal. lol pretty funny sounding i know...how can a pimple kill someone i dont know all of the answers but i know alot of famous people have had this infection who play in the NFL so id at least mention it to your doctor, it might only effect men too you just never know but it was scary when i read about it because, being a football player, reading about another player who died from a pimple on his butt just scared the bejeezus out of me. Good luck sorry if i scared you at all, -Eric

This is it, your chance, you can make a HUGE impression by doing one thing.... act like it doesnt bother you Too simple? yes. Will it work? oh hell yeah all you gotta do is be her friend, say hi, speak when spoken too, dont let yourself be caught staring at her and if shes interested at all she should be driven crazy wondering why your not worshipping her. Its a gamble but i always liked the results its given me. Good luck -Eric

I thought about that too...and we have had some problems there, at first she was tearing my clothes off left and right, with her parents in the room a hand would suddenly slide down my pants under the blanket...she even wanted to masturbate me in the lunchroom at school (i said no). Then we made love (the first time for both of us) it hurt her ALOT and then she started feeling bad and all of a sudden she freaked out, i know for a fact she wasn't as ready as her body told her but we did it twice and she felt so bad after the second time that she said no more all together. Then her mom pumped her full of abortion horror stories and disease horror stories and that further put her back on the abstinant path...this time from EVERYTHING including kissing. That lasted about a month before she finally loosened up again and things were ok until one day i gave her oral sex and her parents found out, that went over fantastically since they are a religious family but i handled it the way i wanted to and once again said no more sexual encounters. Now our sex life is pretty much kissing...she hasnt touched me in around a month but still wants me to give her orgasms all the time. So i oblige her and never really ask for anything by myself. I thought it was me or something about my body that made her change her mind all of a sudden i mean who is all over you for 3 months and then not wanting a part of you after that. Maybe we have bigger problems than the jealousy who knows the only consolation she offers is "Eric we'll do it all the time when we get married" which just is not cool for a 17 year old guy with big plans for his life. tell me what you think, -Eric

Hey, I have a question that is pretty much gaurenteed to come off as arrogant even though i promise im not, so read on for a good laugh or to reply and help me out whatever suits you best. Alright ive had this girlfriend for around 6 months, we were extremely happy in the beginning and still are even though she went completely cold turkey on the physical aspect of it, which i think made us a bit closer as friends who just like/maybe love each other alot. At the very least it took alot of pressure off of her because she is a good girl who had never had a boyfriend before and was pretty fascinated with "me" for the first three months (i actually got tired of it all the time so i guess there is such a thing as too much of a good thing haha) My problem is, shes EXTREMELY jealous. I hadn't dated around my school in some time before her and i know im one of those guys who was a loser early on and grew into his body/face because im told that all the time, honestly that whole situation makes me uncomfortable but thats not the issue here. It started when we first got together, we'd be walking down the hallway and you would hear something along the lines of, "Oh my god look look look thats * i cant believe HE chose HER" followed by these really awful looks at the poor girl. It eventually turned into just girls giving her awkward stares, and as any normal person would she got jealous. She started to get mad at me for having girls look at me because i "didn't do anything about it which means that you get off on the attention!" so i tried being mean to the girls she was talking about but no that wasn't good either because that was encouraging them to flirt harder so i ignored them and this was met with more yelling because ignoring them was practically begging them to keep going. Its so confusing so i started looking around and trying to notice it happening after i made the brilliant move of telling her that it was all in her head...guys, never tell your girlfriend that her jealousy is all in her head WOW. True enough (and id never looked before so i had no idea) people were staring at me as i walked through the hallway, the sophmore girls would giggle and point, the senior girls would just look at me and smile every once in awhile while we had class together, give me compliments etc etc etc. Needless to say my girlfriend had noticed all of this before me and didnt take it so well. Now shes mad at me because a girl in our lunch whom i used to have a crush on just watches us go through the line together...not discreetly, the girl sits and stares dead at me and then dead at my girlfriend making us both uncomfortable. I really like my girlfriend now shes fun, we may not do anything sexual but kiss once a week or so but thats not so bad, id like to keep her around but i still believe most of this is in her head and she wont let it go, shes starting to fight more and more so my question is this, whats the best way to show her that i care how upset she is...while not doing her suggestion of telling every girl that stares to "please stop looking at me im taken" (how ridiculous is that?!) any help would be appreciated. -Eric

My girlfriend and i have been together for about 5 months. We had a really relaxed and casual relationship and it was alot of fun i really liked it. She was always really curious about me lol in more ways than my personality and loved messing around. Well as things got more serious we talked about giving our virginity to each other. At first she said no way she was waiting until she got married which was cool, i completely dropped the subject and we went on for a few weeks not even mentioning sex. Then she comes back with it all of a sudden and says lets do it. That confused me so i said sure ok? lol well we DID end up doing it (twice a month apart so sex still wasn't a huge deal) My question is this, its been 2 months since we first had sex and shes still playing these games with me. She'll say ok we cant do it anymore unless we get engaged, but the next day she'll come back with eh i want to so bad! lets do it this weeked. Etc etc etc you get my picture, im all for not talking about it if she doesnt want to do it because its pretty obvious she doesnt want to because shes scared of me leaving her and her being pregnant (btw what are the odds of a girl on birthcontrol becoming pregnant without me ever ejaculating inside of her?) but when i tell her i don't want to talk about something that isnt going to happen she just says, "why you dont think we're going to be engaged?" and THAT makes me feel bad...i just want to know what to tell her about sex since shes so day to day with it, does anybody else have any experience with this problem? any help would be appreciated. -Eric

Hi i have a quick question, what would be a good, not so expensive date for 16-17 year olds to do? The only relationships ive ever had involved laying around the house watching tv and "exploring" which got old really fast, i dont want to do that again so can someone tell me some good date idea's? Thanks alot. -Eric

then im sorry i dont see why your worried if youve never seen her before and hardly see her again...it just confuses me, arent there other girls you see more frequently who might be more interesting?

wow you need to calm down, it sounds like yohana knows your getting like this and ill tell you straight up, girls dont find this "sweet" or "cute" in the least. Shes young, she doesnt want a guy losing sleep and weight over her thats just creepy, so what you need to do is let her play herself into your hands, quit acting like you care so much. It sounds insane but girls love what they cant have, and please man, try and calm down, you will not marry this girl shes just a highschool fling. Your going about this whole thing so wrong, i hate to sound blunt or use myself as an example but im also how you say..."punk" and honestly dont care what girls think of me or whether or not they like me, and that drives them crazy, they love the QUIET hard to get skateboarder guy, not the guy who freaks out on all of her friends and tells people hes getting sick because he might not have a date to homecoming. Is this the first girl thats paid attention to you? just wondering, but i really think if you calm down and quit chasing girls, that youll be amazed at just what comes your way. -Eric

Hi, a few of you might remember a post i had about an irish girl id met and talked to whose chest turned bright red throughout our conversation. Well i talked to her in class and on the phone, we went out on a spectacular date, we saw a movie and then afterwards i drove her to the school parking lot and we ended up talking for 2 hours in between little bits of kissing, turns out i was her first kiss too so thats even better. Anyway on to my question, this is the first new relationship ive had in a LONG time, and yes she tells me she likes me alot and how cute i am because im so laid back and passive, the thing is, i dont want this to get old. Is it wrong to not call her one or two days...i mean sort of let her wonder about me to keep it exciting, i dont want to be calling her every night and have her get tired of me before i have a chance to go out on a couple more dates. We never have a dead silent conversation, usually its an hour and a half or so of solid talking but what if we run out of things to talk about? Anyway if some of the girls out there have opinions on a situation like this id love the help, thanks. -Eric