this is sort of a confusing, depressing, desperate, story. but you most read it to understand my question.
ok when i was in 8th grade(2 years ago) i liked this one girl. i didnt know her or even talk to her once. all i knew was that i liked her. i thought of her 70% of the day probably. i had thoughts, hopes, dreams about her.
yes, i know this sounds sad but you know what?, my life is sad so just shut the f**k up and read.
i loved this girl and i was friends with almost all her friends, i knew her name, i knew where she lived. but i never had the balls to talk to her. not even to say hi. this whole desperate for her thing went on for 6 months.
when school ended i was sad that ill never see her during the summer. i havent and when i became a freshman i saw her again. this time i didnt like her the way i did before. which was weird. for about a month i liked this other chick. but then that got old and i went back to liking the girl from 8th grade for some god damn reason.
well i finally had the balls to talk to her and me and her actually became friends. wow it only took me 9 months to actually become friends with her.
anyways...sometime in april 2004 i actually decided to finally ask her out. i wasnt thinking straight that day. but it was weird
it was a friday and i just couldnt hold it any longer. i didnt see her in school all day so after school i went to her house and asked her right on her front door.(pretty odd, i know but hey, whatever goes, goes)
well when i asked her she started laughing and thought my best friend put me up to this thinking that this was some type of joke. i said it wasnt then she stopped laughing and actually found out that i was serious. she said she already had a boyfriend so then i knew that she was going to say no. so pretty much right then and there i thought i wasted a year of my life on someone that i loved so much and thought of everyday, someone that i thought i was going to have a great future with just went straight down and there she had no clue that she broke my dreams, hopes, thoughts, and my heart. i walked away.
(skipping depressing moments after that day...)
we were still friends acting like that never happened
i wasnt hurt anymore suprisingly, and that carried on til now
now im a sophmore.
more things had happened to me. got together with a couple of girls...didnt like any of them that much
lately ive been very busy with my school work and trying to keep my grades up while my social life is slowly fading away cause i never get the chance to talk or see my friends anymore unless i see them in the halls or theyre in my classroom.
the girl i used to like though i still talk to though, either in my history class or on the bus.
its weird because over the summer it has seemed that either she changed or that i changed because now shes been talking to me a lot.
shes been giving more attention and giving me complments. she sorta flirts with me time to time now(shes sorta a tease so im not sure if shes really flirting or not) and she always smiles when shes talking to me.
but for the past two weeks shes been talking about homecoming time to time with me.
its weird because if you think about it...the only time you talk about homecoming to a person that much is when you want to ask her/him out, am i right?
shes asked/told me:
1. got my homecoming dress today
2. man, i got no one to take to homecoming(told me that twice)
3. you going to homecoming?
4. who you going to homecoming with?
5. whens homecoming?
plus her friend sam(short for samantha) ask me before if i liked the girl
i said no(at the time i wasnt really sure)
and i think sam asked me that cause the girl i used to like wants to know if i still like her because i believe she now likes me...sorta
the problem is this is sorta similar to last year's situation
i thought the girl liked me too so thats why i had the balls to ask her out.
and im having that same feeling this year except everything is more tense and more stronger
so the only thing thats stopping me from asking her out and thinking that she likes me is the memory from last year when i asked her out and she turned me down.
so my questions are:
1.does she like me?
2. should i ask her to homecoming?
please send me something, plus me emial address is email removed
