Amannamederic

well ill tell you this...i always thought NC was supposed to be sort of a temporary thing, like after 3 months or so you count your losses and give up. Of course it may take longer in some cases. I see you are dating again at least, thats good...but making contact again will do nothing. Shes flirting around with other guys, and made no moves to contact you, what could you gain by contacting her again? Nothing really... Look at her profile until it doesn't hurt anymore, get used to the idea that she is flirting with other guys, and just like you, is dating other guys as well. The sooner you accept the truths the sooner you'll get over her.

i responded because i have a tough tough time imagining how rules made for women who allowed nothing but their husband to touch them can still apply in today's very different world...especially for hymens!

did you say it was the same WIDTH as a pinky finger? Width can't really be helped...and although its HIGHLY not recommended i'm going to suggest surgery for him. They can cut the ligaments that make the penis stand up when hard and it adds supposedly 2-3 inches of hidden length. The only downside is that it will always hang down, even when hard, but in reality who cares where its hanging as long as it goes where its supposed to go. Last ditch effort though...the penile surgeries are never recommended. But it sounds like an extra 2-3 inches would make all the difference for him.

this is ridiculous, when the religious laws were written women did nothing but walk around the house, they sat on flat chairs...they did nothing but cook clean eat and sleep. Now you guys can ride bikes, sit on poles on playgrounds, do all sorts of things that are PROVEN to break the hymen...and yet they do not revise the laws? I mean come on you can tell if a girl is a virgin. My first time with a girl she was a virgin but had no hymen... Know how i knew she was a virgin? As soon as it slipped in her mouth opened really wide her eyes slammed shut and she whimpered, a tear or 2 fell before i offered to stop but she told me to keep going. So what if there was no blood...she was obviously a virgin Stupid laws

2 words that should get any man off your back real quick ...restraining order

and its killing me. One-itus being where you think something is there that really isn't. SHe'd flirted with me since april, i am now firmly believing she used me to get what she couldn't get out of her boyfriend...a nice guy lol. But then he came out and said he knew he had to change or else he'd lose her and because he'd never said that before she told me that she was only being friendly and that shes like that with everyone. I looked at the myspace messages she sent and a few conversations from awhile back (my aim is always on so they never get erased, even when i x the im) and i know she was lieing, she felt bad, she had every intent of leaving him before he got sensitive all of a sudden (i know it won't last long but whatever she doesn't) but most of all...i recognize that she has a problem and that her acting like this towards me is a big red flag for later. But i like her... i already told her we could just be friends, the thing she liked most about me was that we would talk for hours and hours, even 4-5 months after we first started talking we talk for hours. I figure thats the best way to show her what shes missing, can't do NC. Today i might have changed my mind though. I got weak, i got emotional on her. I didn't say anything...just that it was cool that her and her boyfriend were going to try this 5 hour LDR thing in college. Was honest with her and told her that he won't ever go anywhere, she is extremely out of his league and i think he knows it now. Told her i wished for what she had, the whole 9 yards. I want her badly, shes perfect for me which sucks, i mean you think it would die off after all of this time but it just doesn't, i mean im a college football player with new girls coming along every single day wanting to get to know me...stuff like this shouldn't happen to me! Especially when the girl has a BOYFRIEND! I over analyze alot i guess, because she keeps hooking me back in...one night we didn't talk the entire day and i woke to 4 ims and a text message telling me to get online and talk to her. During a camping trip she had recently with her family and boyfriend they had forgotten breakfast food. So while the bf and dad went to get it she got online on her dad's laptop, saw me online, and we talked for an hour before they came home. Since then every day she got on around 10 o clock, she even turned down going fishing with the boyfriend and dad because she thought they needed "guy-time" and talked to me for 2 hours. Today i was woken up at 10 again by a good morning sunshine! on my aim. They had to get up at 6 to get home, she said she just slept in the car and let the men pack everything up. We talked for 4 hours on a day when she had 0 sleep. Then this afternoon i go to check my myspace and i had an away message up, she'd signed back on, my message said i was just laying around and she just wrote, "i really hope that you are doing something productive lol" waited a little bit to see if i came back (she more or less gets on to talk to me, i've watched a few times...when i say i gotta go i always put the away up and watch for a minute after, she signs right off) and then got off. I just keep being drug back in, and after embarrassing myself today i was thinking of seriously not talking to her for 2 days. She leaves for China (3 week trip) on the 7th and i thought this was the perfect time to start to piece myself back together. She says she is going to email me but i don't expect much out of them. She definitely acts different towards me now that her boyfriend "got better". a very long rant...sorry *update as of 5 minutes ago* i freaking get this in my myspace mailbox: Date 2]Jul 5, 2006 1:54 PM [/size][/font]link removedspam/abuse. link removed Subject 2]hello love![/size][/font]Body 2]ok well since i didnt email you back i decided to do the old way lol and leave you a nice myspace message! i am all packed and ready to go! im really excited, but im scared of flying to arizona by myself lol oh well i will survive! I hope that you have a great 3 weeks that i dont get to talk to you, lol except email! if you want to email me you can, i will make sure that i email you when i get a chance. i will probably be talking to you tomorrow but if i dont get to i just wanted to tell you goodbye! just think, when i come back from china it will almost be time for us to start school, thats exciting! hopefully i dont decide just to stay there forever lol that would be funny. well its almost 5 and *boyfriend's name* is getting here soon so i still need to take a shower and get ready, i pretty much look like crap right about now! well talk to u later my friend! be a good boy while im gone, i dont want you going crazy or anything just because im not in the country lol just kidding i know u are good! to help ease ur depression of me being gone you can always make one of those paper chains where u take one off each day until i come home lol i do that with the kindergarteners around christmas time lol it helps them out. ok so i was kidding about that but it was really funny thinking about you sitting there making that, lol, really funny. ok for real i need to go and get ready, talk to you later!!! amanda i know this is just a friendly message but god...i really need to know how to not let things like this get to me.[/size][/font]

intimidatingly beautiful is a big one, i've dated a few of those girls...they all turned out horribly...and i mean absolutely horribly...so now whenever im being hit on or looked at by a girl who could have her pick of any man on earth i use it as a confidence booster and move on. It may sound weird but its ingrained in my head that stunning women would want nothing to do with relationships or anything like that because there is so much out there for them to experiment with. If i want to date an incredibly beautiful girl i tend to look for one like me. When i was younger i was tall with lanky limbs and a big fat torso, i was pale with a blonde curly afro (like the kid in bad santa) i had a huge space on the front 2 teeth of a huge overbite...i was not an attractive person. I stayed that way for years, never really getting dates or whatever and then all of a sudden puberty hit me, i grew tall, i got dark, the space in my teeth is gone...as is the overbite, my eyes turned a bright bright blue and my hair turned dark and went straight. I get 2-3 random messages on myspace a day telling me how hot i am but because i spent so many years as the ugly fat kid thats what is ingrained in my head, if i can find a girl like me i'd be pretty happy lol. As messed up as that sounds. you just might have to show more of a personality around people, be overly nice and caring, dance with an ugly guy or two, see if that doesn't help you.

don't you have to masturbate when you cyber to get off? Gotta just deal with it bro lol then make the most of a time when a girl is ready to go

weird, then im very confused as to what exactly is keeping you there in the first place lol if he's not giving you a thing why do you love him?

that one-itus thing will happen, where you convince yourself there is something more than there actually is. It hurts, im doing it right now too as a matter of fact, its just so hard to let go but i have no idea how to even begin doing it. Im thinking of trying to treat it as a breakup but because i agreed to be just friends i know that won't work too well. Don't make my mistakes, just get out and leave, otherwise you will do stupid things you regret...

first timer eh? wear a condom this first time, especially if she doesn't know you are a virgin, outside of being safer....you get to look like you've been there before because you won't be a 3 thrust man. My first few times i did it with a condom and just had her quivering afterwards, then one time we decided to go without...and 5 thrusts later i was apoligizing lol thank god i got over that one...

sounds to me like you are worrying a bit too much about a relationship at your age. Ill be brutally honest with you, you might wanna start hardening up because other guys will hit on her that she might want, and other girls might hit on you that you might want. You will see her yea, thats no problem, im just saying keep a hard heart so it doesn't get broken

lol i have to agree on that...if you don't trust then leave... I won't pretend that i haven't wondered the exact same thing though, how cool would that be?

first let me preface this by saying that i do want her back... Ok, so i've been more aloof than i was during our little thing but im still her friend and we still talk every day, im going to try to tone that down but heres a question i asked myself... do i tell her about any other dates i might go on in an attempt to make her realize? Or do i just wait for her to ask...which knowing her will probably be never lol

the current boyfriend is her first and only one ever. They've known each other since they were kids and according to her they just sort of started going out. She admits she didn't care much until about a year and a half into it. They are from a very small town so there wasn't much to get in their way. As for his looks, he's fat and definitely not a good lookin guy, i've seen pictures of him and just cant believe she likes him but i suppose personality makes up for it in some respects... ...if he didn't have such a crappy personality too. He flies off the handle at her easily, shows almost no emotion or affection to her and has been violent (not overly violent, one day they were with their friends and he thought she was acting stupid so he grabbed her and held her up by her arm, gritted his teeth and told her to "F****** stop acting stupid." Apparently this sort of thing is common, he yells at her often and is always mad at her for something but always says he's sorry and doesn't want to lose her. He will be going to school 5 hours away...like i said she was about to leave him, and then all of a sudden he sits her down and, for the first time in their entire relationship, tells her that he knows he needs to change or else he'll lose her and that he's willing to try and got her hooked all over again. She has told me about times where SHE has told HIM he needs to change and how he will for 4-5 months and then go right back to normal but that because HE brought it up this time she thinks its forreal. Thats all i know about him, she never tells me anything good. He is an emotional rock who more or less expects her to be with him in my eyes.

i just wrote that....TODAY, and now there is more. We talked today and i tried to act normal, just like her friend, when she did her usual thing where she says, "you hate me...." and expects me to go to my knees complimenting her i just said yep i do and playful things like that. I did apologize for being mean at the end of the convo but that was all i threw her. I let her go for the day, it was relaxing not worrying about talking to her, she is at some fireworks with her friends so i thought she'd be too busy to talk tonight. Then just 5 minutes ago i get a text... "hope ur havin fun, i am talk to u later sugar lol" i didn't respond, what in the world do i say to stuff like this...she has a boyfriend who she claims she loves (although less than a month or two ago she was ready to leave him...long story as to why she decided to wait it out a bit more) so confused

She always acts like im more, she does have a boyfriend though which is why all of this is probably ridiculous. She does think im hot, every time im in a situation where other girls are around she tells me that they must be all over me and that i better get numbers. She always tells me to be smart and not hook up with people, all of this could just be friendly advice but i just get the feeling that there is more. We are going to college together, her boyfriend is going to college 5 hours away. She has already told me that if she breaks up with him she would definitly date me, but because they have been together 3 years she still loves him and wants to see how it will work. She says she is just a naturally flirty person but come on...the other day i was at a friend's freshman orientation to meet girls. She had told me to try to meet others because she didn't want me waiting on her because of the boyfriend. She imed me in the morning saying, "lol you better have at least 5 numbers by now......." which was sort of depressing, almost like she wants to shoo me away. I responded and told her the truth, that i was being talked to alot but that i thought it was because i had a football shirt on and people knew i played for our college because of how big i am (6'7 240). But didn't respond to her past that, i think she sent one other message about me having a wonderful day and how she was bored and wanted to find something to do or whatever... So i go out to practice after the orientation and before i get my cleats on i checked my phone and it had a msg waiting for me, "Eric...i just love u! Email me back skank!" for no reason. Little things like that, then yesterday we didn't talk much, i texted her in the morning some but it wasn't a very long conversation so after that i just left the phone go since she had to babysit for the day. I went to bed around 11 or 1130 because i had just gotten home for a short holiday break from practice. I wake up this morning and there are 3 ims from her: "hey! you're finally home yeah! Im happy you are but i think you should get online and talk to me!" "Well, you must be asleep so i will just tell you to have a wonderful day and that i will talk to you tomorrow! Goodnight! "Ok, so i really think you should come back and talk to me...just a thought..." in that order, and then a text message: "if possible i would like to request your presense via the internet" i think the text was sent after all of the IMS but im not sure, Do you think she is scared to lose me? Or am i simply wishful thinking?

lol thats gotta be pretty annoying huh, you can only peg the unattractive ones...oh well i'd still file that under wishful thinking if he doesn't look at you. If he's a gangster type of a guy i have contact with them every day (i live in a big city), if they want something, they get it. There is no shyness to those types of people, if they were shy they'd get killed or something.

one thing about your phone conversation stands out to me. Shes afraid of being alone while you have somebody. basically shes afraid that she won't be better than you anymore and have you licking her boot. I might be a pessimist but she has some issues to work on...does she have alot of boyfriends? Is she one of those girls that always seems to be with someone no matter what? What was your relationship like? and how do you feel towards her...

i feel for you, there are days when i think myspace/facebook are the worst inventions in the history of mankind. Just don't go to them, take him off of your top 8 so that it would take an effort to look him up and you'll be less likely to do so. Erase his messages from you, anything that would give you easy access to him. As for flirting, yep it can help, just don't do anything rash like take an ONS (one night stand) and you should be ok, feeling attractive is the best way to hand it to your ex in a paper bag. There is an old saying, Success is the best revenge. Don't dwell, go out and do your thing. When i get dumped, if its during football season i don't mind at all, i usually play really well and im even more excited because if i play games well in college people will start to say "gee, he could go pro" how would you feel if your ex made it to the NFL? So go out, meet men, be happy, enjoy yourself! Just don't sit at home...that never solves anything, no matter how many sad movies are on lol

i dont know what her problem is, but if she has been with someone for 2 years and is contacting you that way...shes a manipulative woman to be sure. She probably considers herself the center of everything and is only ok when she has a boyfriend, and another man pining for her...if you decide to pursue her again be wary, it seems suspicious for me. Karma could also come in to play but there is a whole other possibility. 5 years with you only to start with a guy a month later. She could just be letting it drag on because shes afraid of hurting him and then unsure that you will take her back. thereforeeee scared of being alone. Scared of being alone can make people do crazy things...like marry the wrong person! I'd say its possible she regrets leaving you to be sure, but you've done the absolute right thing and let her know you're healing and moving on to other people. Her responses are right in line with the old saying, "you don't know what youve got until its gone." But does what you've lost ever seem as good once you've gotten it back? I think DN is the one that always says he never moves backwards...only forwards... you broke up, no matter what else happens you will always have broken up, that will always loom over your relationship. Keep going on your current path and don't wonder about her. Its her loss, let her feel it.

if you know he likes girls...i'd give up, although don't gay guys have sort of a 6th sense when it comes to whether or not other guys are gay too? I dunno that might just be an episode of everybody loves raymond coming out in memory. If he hasn't responded to your messages on myspace, sits by you and doesn't notice you, i'd say move on...he's straight.

lol thats not helpful, just judge her like you would a guy, how would you flirt with a guy? Chances are thats how you'd flirt with a girl too...but i admit...being hetero, i have no idea on same sex flirting

the age old question, when does it cross the line into "clingy" or "too high maintenance" i for one think its ok to ask about your partner's relationship with other people as long as it isn't all the time and you don't do it in a menacing way. Like i would ask, "so you and so and so seem to be good friends, do you talk to him much? Would i like him? Maybe we could all hang out" and then judge her response and not dig any deeper than that. If she says theres nothing going on, even if i think shes lying i drop it. Am i over the line? If so, what is the line? Im just curious for future reference because jealousy is one of my problems ill admit, but i do my best to keep it under control.

that makes so much sense, i've had the exact same thing happen...i never brought it up i just wiped it on a kleenex or something and pretended i didn't notice but in my mind that little guy who tells you something is wrong was screaming "chlymidia!!! "