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Optimistic37

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  1. Optimistic37
    wow, i have to say (i dont know why) but reading those poems just made me seem really calm and peaceful. I love the whole food idea in the first one which made is seem like a dark fairy tale. Keep it up
  2. Optimistic37
    hi all, Im feeling suicdal lately and tried to commit suicide on sunday nite. I didnt die, obviously but Im still unstable. Ive told my close friend and Im seeking help. I just wrote this poem to explain how I feel: Today has been worse than any other day I have lived in my life. I thought about death again whilst feeling the blade of a knife. Everything seems to remind me of the things I hate. I try to find new memories that I can create. I stop and lie down and realise that there is no point, in trying to get close to anyone as I will only disappoint. Loneliness seems to always catch up with me in my mind. I try to hide in a place it can never find. That place is dark and where nothing can hurt me. Maybe, there, I can finally be the person I wish to be. In life I have no reason to try and get along. Every moment is like the pain in a sad song. So, maybe its the time to play the last note at last. First, I must thank those who made me happy in my past, and get ready to say goodbye to the things I'd rather be without. Then I can finally live in the place I only dreamt about.
  3. Optimistic37
    thanks for the feedback guys Yeh, she was very close to me and I'm writing this song so that I can feel that I've shown how much she means to me. I never told her that I loved her and I wish i did.
  4. Optimistic37
    sorry to sound pushing here guys but does anyone think this is any good? Sorry, but I want it to be perfect.
  5. Optimistic37
    My friend who died from a stupid drunken driver half a year ago deserves something for her so I'm writing an accoustic song with male vocals (me) and female vocals. Please tell me what u think of the lyrics so far: Empty feelings Enters my head of pure sad blue And the only thing I have left Is the memories of you. Jennie, can you help me out Jennie, can you help me Jennie, can you help me now Jennie, you're the one I want to see Female Voc: Please, I am here And I wont be away from you There's nothing to fear Please, dont forget me Remember, I will help you out Remember, I will help you Remember, theres nothing to fear Please, let me remove the blue Male: Empty feelings Are never going to leave. And the only thing I have left Are the memories of you I grieve. Jennie, can you help Jennie, can you help me please Jennie, can you help me now Jennie, I'll remember you in the breeze.
  6. Optimistic37
    awww I really like it. Its soo simple but just sums up everything! I love those kind of poems where its just clear. Nice one
  7. Optimistic37
    Well, I havent decided what to write yet but I love doing on the spot poems and seeing what happens. All i know is, I'm going to make it more positive and refer to this girl at school who I love seeing but never talk to The day is finishing and everything has closed The eyes are shut and heads lie low I stay awake and decide to dream My reality begins to fade as I let the colours in. The sight is so brilliant and my frown becomes a smile The day is finished and I am happy at last. As each memory of her is let into my sight, I cant help but laugh to myself at the things I cry about; A broken flower or a failed exam Why do they matter when I can grow these again? Her face begins to sharpen and her smile is bright I wipe away my tears and dream throughout the night. Just me and her amongst the green, Where we will never be seen. Although I love to watch her as I sit back in a chair I would be happiest to hug her and show how much I care. A hug is the comfort I seek everyday "Thank you" is all i can say Happy thoughts make me smile and glad I am here Lying in bed is most beautiful and ends everything perfectly!
  8. Optimistic37
    Just wrote this on the spot. Basically just writing what I feel. I wake up, lying, in my waking life with no emotion. I have no feeling about anything or anyone I've been lying there since you went away Each day adds a mark on my guilt for my existence The time starts to fall infront of me as I stare Nothing is there for me to stare at but the blackness. As the sun enters my room I can only weep Each tear adds a mark on my guilt for not being there for you You could have been someone for everyone to have Instead you are attached to nothing My vision begins to blur and a sigh is released slowly It echoes like the sad wind does through an empty forest. Only the empty, lonley animals can hear its cries for help I try to answer back but my voice is stutter of pain and hurt My lips begin to die and my head turns away from the awful sun My face is wet and my heart is dry My body is begging to be held and my eyes need to be seen All i receive are the black stares of the dying animals in the forest They understand me more than myself, yet I do not talk to them I only wish to talk to you and fix my shattered brain Each minute, each second of my life, my body feels less happiness. Come back to me and hold my dry heart Wipe away my tears and walk with me with me in the wind.
  9. Optimistic37
    hey, im kinda feeling the same as you. At the moment I am feeling pretty depressed cause I feel I am not being loved. Everyone is leaving me (bro and sis have now left for uni) and parents are ignoring me a lot. I always feel alone. However, everytime I'm around my best mate, who is a girl, at school I feel so much better. I really want to thank her for being who she is and making me feel loved. I love her soo much and what makes me sad is that she already has a boyfriend who she loves dearly and I feel once we move to uni i wont see her as much and I wont be happy.
  10. Optimistic37
    Well last night I had a (think its called) Lucid dream where u are certain it's real and you find it hard to wake up from. I have no idea why it happened or how, as i've never had one before. Anyways, it was very strange as, firstly, this felt 100% real and the fact that no-one seemed to listen to me. I could shout at people but they wouldnt repsond. I would only get this cold look at me and I began to get very scared and sweating. I remember running out of my house and down the street but there were no people on the street apart from this girl I really like. I went to go talk to her but I woke up this morning and sweaty and in shock. It didnt really set in till about 30 mins later that it wasnt real. This reminded me of a dvd which i bought not long ago called "Waking Life", which, I highly recomend to everyone on this board. It's all about dreams and how this boy can not wake up from this weird dream. It hasnt really got a story but it has many views of what dreams mean, especially waking dreams. It really makes you think about your dreams and life in general.
  11. Optimistic37
    hey, ive been in this difficult situation for about 2 months now and it's really gettin at me; Firstly, my feelings towards a friend of mine (D) has grown a lot and I really want to tell her how I feel towards her. However, she a long term boyfriend and I know telling her would only cause her difficulties. I've been given advice to tell her and to not tell her. I have no idea which to follow. Our friendship is incredible strong now and I really do not want to wreck it by making the wrong move. What do u think I should do? Tell her or Not tell her, or even wait a while? I was also wonder, is it normal to not kiss on a first date with someone you have only met once before in a group or shown blatant signs of how u both feel?
  12. Optimistic37
    The easiest way is to firstly just talk to him as you would to any other guy. Dont wait around to do it or your nerves will build and build and you will have no chance. Guys love it when girls talk to them first (making the 1st move). When you are talking be yourself (of course) and keep on smiling and enjoy yourself. Something I tend to hate about girls who come onto me (remember this is my personal annoyance) is when they talk about themselves aaaall the time to try asnd impress me. At first its ok because I'm learning about them but it tends to get boring and I have no input. So, remember to ask questions about him and look generally interested (no matter what!) Anyways, good luck
  13. Optimistic37
    the easiest way is to goto a party. You can even go with the couple and go chat to others
  14. Optimistic37
    it sounds like she definitely likes you. Everyone knows woman are attracted to men's eyes like CRAZY so her wanting to draw your eyes basically tells u that she finds u attractive and she likes u. I say just ask her out and get together.
  15. Optimistic37
    Im gonna keep this nice and short and simple because it will just get muddled up a bit. Basically, last night I went to a house party and there I met my friends. Two of my friends (Amy and Emily) brought one of their friends (Christina). We were talking for ages then Amy tells me that Christina really likes me and I mean REALLY likes me. I didnt really like her in that way but Amy was beggin me to talk to her so I did for practically the rest of the night. Christina was about to leave and I told her, "I know that you really like me and I kinda like you" This was a bad move because I meant that I like her as a person but my drunken state made it seem otherwise. We kissed for ages on the street with Amy and Emily watching us from a distance. Then I did the worse thing EVER! After we kissed I asked for her number to meet up but I called her Catherine on my mobile and called her Catherine! She looked gutted and I was soo apologetic. She seemed to be ok but she seemed bothered as she asked "Who is Catherine? U seeing someone?" I obviously denied. She then went home with Amy and Emily. I called her later on to meet up on Monday (tomoz) to go shopping. I wouldnt have normally asked her out but i felt really bad and wanted to make up for what I did. Now the difficult part. There is a really close mate of mine (Daisy) whom I really fancy (see this thread for more details: link removed ) She was there and I was hoping to tell her how I feel but she came with her boyfriend! I was gutted but we still got on really well and had a good time. Now obviously this is goin to make things difficult as Emily best mates with Daisy and she will tell her about Christina and thereforeeee I will be lumbered with it. I have no idea what to do right now. My mate (none of the girls) advises me to tell Christina that Im not interested in her, in that way, but still want to be friends and instead go for Daisy. I dont want to mess Christina around cos i know she will tell Amy and Emily and I will get it hard with them.
  16. Optimistic37
    hey, yea im wondering exactly the same thing. Tonight Im thinking of telling my best friend how I feel about them but Im not sure how it will turn out.
  17. Optimistic37
    lol, its annoying when ppl call you and u cant answer and so they get all annoyed at u. I dont know why but I hate it when ppl talk to me at the moment. I think it's that the fact that I cant talk back and I'm getting jealous. Well, I got a party to go to tonight and I can finally talk!! But it's still croaky so Im still keeping my mouth shut and rolling in the honey and salt water. I wont do that much talking tonight and calm down on the drink. oooh wellll.
  18. Optimistic37
    ah thanks alot maggie. I havent tried the gargling with salt water yet. I'll go try that now and take my lemon and honey dosage
  19. Optimistic37
    ok my mum just came in and was like "philip, i bought u a new dvd, have u seen it before?" I cnat respond, her: "Philip! I BOUGHT U A NEW DVD!" I cant repsond "PHILIP!!!" I still cant repsond "GOd, that boy always has his earphones on!" hahahaha she forgets I have lost my voice when she just saw me like 5 secs before when i opened the door!
  20. Optimistic37
    Basically, I have lost my voice and I can only talk through words so I felt like telling u guys how i am doin I am soo bored because I cant go out and drink or watch a funny program (incase I laugh and get in pain). Been starting the honey cure and I could finally say I couple words. All day at school ive been laughed at (but no in a bullied way) which was funny but the girls were all over me. Girls must love a man who cant talk Ok the phone just rang! It was a mate of mine wondering if i was goin out 2nite and i couldnt even repsond lol! I have had about 8 phone calls this hour and its pissing me off as im the only one at home grrrrrrr. I keep wanting to talk but all that comes out is air. I quite enjoy this experience but its getting annoying. Tomoz i got a party to goto so do any of you have any good cures for a lost voice??? Anyone had any good/bad experiences with a lost voice??
  21. Optimistic37
    hey, u sound very similar to me there mate. I am very skinny (but got a lot of muscle ) and I used to have a lot of problems with girls. When I was 15 I never talked to girls and always had a problem. I had kissed girls but never got a girlfriend. I am now 17 and i still have never had a gf, but now it doesnt bother me. I have loads of friends who are girls and even my new best mate whom I am really close to is a girl. I have decided to keep on trying to get a gf and instead just be myself all the time. Although I am very shy I am a very funny person and I know that my humour attracts the girls (as they all tell me) so use ur humour that u have to gain friends and just be yourself. The fact that u hardly show emotion (like me) is something u need to break. I have only recently started showing my emotions to others and I have let out quite a lot in the last 7 days to close friends. I started with one secret I had to let out which led to loads. I even cried infront of my best mate (who is a girl) and it felt great. She didnt judge me but instead our friendship is stronger. So, basically, all I can say is just be yourself, stay funny, try and show your emotions to your closest friends and dont try so hard to get a gf. You ARE still young so just enjoy yourself and make friends!
  22. Optimistic37
    yeh, i agree about not goin in a group to his house. It might be abit overwhellming. However, I wouldnt like to go alone because I wouldnt know what to do. My other mate (who Ty phoned to tell the news) said that Ty said he was feeling fine and is managing well. I feel that he is just covering up and the reaction will hit him soon. I dont think that it has sunk in yet so maybe seeing him now would be the best idea?
  23. Optimistic37
    I just found out that my best friends dad commited suicide yesterday by electricution. Im in total shock at the moment and another mate of mine suggests a couple of us (about 5) goto my best friend (Ty) house on thurs to give him support. I have never been in this kind of situation before and I have no idea what to say or how to act around Ty. I know I shouldnt pity him but I cant just tell him to get over it. I am thinking about phoning him to say how sorry i am but I dont know what to say and im really bad at expression myself so I know ill make it worse for him. Would I text msg be good or will it seem cheap and lame? please help by thursday, thanks
  24. Optimistic37
    im in the same kind of situation. I like this girl soo much now I think im falling in love with her. However, she has a boyfriend and it really gets me down. I have told a mate of mine (girl) about how I feel and she recommends I just tell her. I would love to tell her how i feel about her but I cant bring myself round to doin it. We have such a strong friendship and I dont want to wreck it. Im a very passive person and I always keep my feelings to myself, no matter how much they hurt me. I suppose this is my tragic flaw
  25. Optimistic37
    aahh thanks for that Northenlights, that makes more sense for in my situation the other day. I expect a girl to put her arm around me (obviously). I feel it is best to lean ur head on a boy because it feels more genuine. If a girl puts their arm around me when i put mine around her without leaning her head on me, it feels good but u have that doubt in ur mind that she might be just doin it to avoid embaressment of not doin it.
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