Rosa

Well, today is the day, in a day like today, my ex and I called it quits, and guess what.....I still feel love for him, even worse news, he's with another girl AND they are engaged.......yeah, life sucks, and then you die....can't believe he's getting married, heard the news two weeks ago, we spoke during this whole year, and I still felt a strong connection, and I know he did too, infact the flirting never stop, up until the day after valentines 2005 he still called me to say "hi", then 2 months later, HE'S GETTING MARRIED???, he knows we can't be friends, so for those of you who think he's trying to stay frieds???.......nahhhhhh!!!!! we had too much passion and sexual attraction something I've never experienced again, I'm now with a new B/F he's in love with me, I love him, but doesn't compare to what I had before, not that I live comparing him, I just compare the feeling of love that I would love to have once again, I wanna pick up the phone to call him, and see him, and find out for myself just by looking in his eyes if he is really happy, I know him, and I can't even imagine that he has what we once had with his Fiance, wow, just the word gives me the creeps, is this normal, should I still feel sad, I still miss him, a lot, when I have arguments with my b/f all I think about is my ex, and how "he has found the one" and I'm still having dumb fights with mine, I don't even think we are close to marriage, why did he find "happiness" so soon, when he was the "bad guy" in the relationship, I get the boot, picked my self from the ground, moved out, started all over, and this girl now got the best of him, and I'm still trying to move on......I feel that its so unfair, not trying to make myself the victim here either, is just that I can't understand why if the prhase is true ("what goes around comes around") why did it backfire on me, I feel like I should be the happier one, the engaged one, but i'm not, God, I feel like crap today..

Abacab I have a fear that I will get there if I don't do something about it now...i had already read your post before and I feel that you should try to focus on you, i think you already focused on "us" for a while and it didn't work, its 20 years....its a long time I don't even know if you can ever remember anything before then....but you are still young and can definitely make a move, try not to be afraid to do what your heart tells you, sometimes is the right thing to do. its never too late... I guess I can see myself in you in the futureif I marry this guy, (he's ready, i know) but, how can I tell him and not hurt his ego? I don't know the thing with me is that I think HE THINKS that he is "all that" in bed....i think i'm even loosing my thouch......OHHHHH NOOOOOOOO , I GUESS YOU GOTTA LAUGH A LITTLE you know what to do.............................

Aries you have just described my same situation, I'm very sexual and love to try new things, my new b/f is just "basic" and i'm also loosing sexual interest for him if not all.., I tell my friends all the time that I feel like i'm going out with my best friend and that's it, not my lover or my partner. This guy is great, has everything going for him, and i'm very greatful that we met because he has also helped me in very though times, and has been there for me I have a strong feeling that he's even in love with me,( we only have 7 month into our relationship) and my sexual spark for him died the second time I slept with him, I've tried a lot of things, wearing very sexy clothe to see if something inside of him wakes up, but no, same old, same old, we go to the basics, I'm almost giving up, and I don't know how else to tell him that I need more spice in my life, I've tried talking to him, I find it easier when we have a couple of drinks so we can really let loose of our feelings, and even then I tell him, he listens because I see him absorbing the info but does not do anything about it.....he sais his ex was very sexual, and that she always used to come onto him, and I'm not used to being all on top of him all the time, but I do come on to him maybe not as much as I should but is just that I already know how is gonna be, and soo there is no excitement of how is gonna feel next you know? i'm wondering if anyone can give us some useful advice, I'm even thinking of breaking up with him, but I'm scared that i'm gonna loose this great guy that all my friends and family are in love with just because i'm looking at the sexual side of the relationship.

well, been dating this guy for 5 months now, and he's been real good to me, really likes me a lot, i think he likes me more than I, but i do like him...anyways, we were out in a bar with a coupleof friends, watching the game, after we went to anothr bar and started drinkng, my best friend was with us, and after my boyfriend asked me to come over, but I needed to do stuff all day the next day, due that I stayed at his house for the past week, so I told him I would stay at my house this time I would see him tomorrow. he said ok. My girlfriend and I were in my car, we were having somuch fun, thatr we decide to cruise the beach and hang out more. my boyfriend called me when he got home, about 45 minutes later, and I didn't pick up the phone, ( I was kinda scared he would get mad at me) so I didn;t pick up the phone, we both went to a club and had a geat time, I was good, told several guys I had a boyfriend, and I was just here to have fun with my girl, and I was good like that... we got home in the am, so I passed out around 7am, my boyfriend called me i the am around 10 and I was sleeping, so I didn't hear the phone, by this time he soundes pist on the message, just saying "good morning" so I called as soon as I woke up, but he didn't pick up, I left him a message sayng that I just woke, up,...... all day he didn't call, I called about 4 times, and left anothe message that nght, he ended calling me back with the biggest attitude, asking me what I did last night, and I told him the truth, that I ended u out with my friend, and got home late, and I missed his call, he said that he was worried aobut me, because I always pick up the phone, and this time I didn't. but I didn't lie to him, he said that he didn't care I went out with my friends, he cared that I didn't pick up the phone, and then he starts asking me if I went home to change, and who was buying all the drinks, and all the typical jealousy questions... he ended up sayng "I hope it was worth it" and hung up at me.....so I called back...of course he didn't pick up the phone, and i L/m saying that by hanging up the phone no issues would be resolved, and that I completely understand why he would be mad, but didin't like the way he handled the situation by hanging up at me, and that if he wanted to end our relationship for this fine, and I understood why he was really pist, but I guess take care......he has a very short temper, and blows up quick, we've had confrontations before, but this time he's waiting for me I think.....today we have not spoken at all, he hasn't called, me either, I just sent him an e-card saying sorry for making a dumb mistake, and i didn't wanna loose him...and to call me...I understand why people would think what I did was wrong, but I think if he trusted me more he would not have gotten so jealous,i'm thinking he doesn't trust me at all, because this is the first time in 5 months that I go out without him, anyways, just wanted some opinions, sorry if its too long! thanks

well, I don't even know where to start, he's now calling me every three weeks, and called me 3 days ago, when we speak is about us, what we are doing now, and how we used to be, always the good memories, and he always initiates the sex talks, and to tell me that he still holds me dear, like he says it in spanish, "te quiero mucho" in english is I like you a lot, or you can say it when you love somebody, i just play dumb and say ok, yeah, sure, (not sarcastic thought) and he tells me how much fun we had, and when he tries to bring up the bad things I just say, that I have already forgotten about them, and he should too. We both have new relationships, and I'm content with mine, I don't know if he is with his, we don't talk about that, but get this...his mom and I write e-mails to each other, and she seems to like me now, more than ever, she even suggested we meet up so we can chat, and drink some wine.....and he recently told me that she talks very well about me to him, (she didn't like me in the beginning of our relationship) I told my ex, of course she likes me now, we are not together anymore, he's like no that's not it, she thinks you are very nice...blah,blah, blah.... so anyways, I don't know what to think of this, and if my ex is trying to keep me on the back burner, I've been trying to be the cool chick and talk to him as a friend, we laught, flirt, and have very good talks, he blows me kisses on the phone, and tells me all these things, one time he even told me he still loved me.....I told him I still loved him too ( two weeks ago) by the way he broke up with me 5 months ago... I can't be his friend!!!!!!,.............what is he thinking we are gonna exchange notes on our new relationships, and play like is all good?!!! and be "best of friends". I was with him for two years!!! lived together the last year, and I had to move out. I don't know what stunt he's trying to pull, has any of you been in this situation"??? because I don't know what to do next, not answer his phone calls?! not meet his mom?!!! answer his phone calls and play the cool chick, and see where it takes me?!!! answer his phone calls, and tell him not to contact me any more??!!!! ahhh......I don't know..... (I still love him.... I know i'm an idiot..... ) thanks...

YOU SAID: "You both say you love each other yet are both in relationships? Am I missing the point here" I ask myself the same question, honestly my true feelings are to be with my ex, but I know that our past was hurtful, and he hold resentment in his heart, so I don't think its the right time to be together, but I'm afraid that if I wait too long, he's really gonna forget about me, because I know that time heals all wounds, and I know that I eill still love him, no my boyfriend doesn't know at all about what's goenon, oviously... no, I don't understand, I've thought about this over and over, and I do believe i love him for all the right reasons, we both have flaws, and are not perfect, but the chemistry, and happiness that I once had with him is so hard to find, I believe is only with him....because I do love him. So I do feel that these feelinds are true on my side, but I'm afraid that on his side is just this challenge to see if I'm still there for him..... I'm trying to be the cool chick and talk to him like everything is all good,.. I don't know myself what i'm trying to accomplish by talking to him, when I know it hurts...I guess yes, i'm waiting for those magic words, because everytime we speak I feel they are closer and closer, but they never come.... So I was talking to my best friend, and she said I shouldn't have responded to the " I love you" because that's what he wanted to hear, and I just reassured him that I'm still there..... I mean he does know I have a b/f and that he's a cool guy, ( my ex asked a friend of his, how my b/f is, and he responded that he was a cool guy) so that must have hurt a little, becasue he called me... you know??? I didn't think about it in the way my bestfriend put it, so now I fell like an idiot, because I just bought him time... at least that's how she made me feel.... i'm afraid to let a good guy go, and then not work out with my ex, and regret it for the rest of my life....what sucks is that my heart is not completely with my current boyfriend....its been 4 months already, don't you think I should be there completely with him? I don't know...

I haven't posted in a while, been trying to move on, I still reminisce sometimes, and want to dial that number, but I don't. I have a new boyfriend who likes me a lot, I like him also, not as much, and not as strong, but I do care for him. I miss that passion that I had with my ex, but I've been able to move on, slowly.... Yesterday my ex after three weeks called me, its funny because every three weeks he calls, is there a testosterone explanation to this? because every three weeks never fails... anyways, when he called, I didn't pick up the phone, it seems that everytime I do, I ended up a few steps back, so I didn't. Today I decided to c/b, and of course we talked, laughed, flirted, he even told me that he loves me, and that he feels so good every time he talks to me, and that yesterday when he called, he had a rush of emotions, and began to think about us, and he smiled, he also said that sometimes he would wanna dial my number and he would stop himself from dialing, and would force himself to think of other things, to not think of me..... he asked about my family with concern, our conversation got a little steamy reminiscing on our great sex life, and then we said I love you to each other, and he threw me a kiss, and we hung up..... Of course I cried like an idiot, and wanted to scream! I was coming back from my b/f's house, then I started to feel happy, bcause I knew he still loves me, he also has a girlfriend, they have been dating since we broke up, ( 5 months), we had a 2 yr relationship, lived together 1 yr. I moved out in May 2004, in June I met my boyfriend, who is very suportive, nice, social, all my friendss love him, and thins he''s great for me, in a way i also believe this because I came from an intense realtionship, and with him i'm more relaxed, and in control of my feelings, but don't you love that uncontrolable feeling of love and passion, and knowing that someone feels the same for you? I do, I miss it a lot, and I don't have it with my new b/f, he does for me, but I don't. Sometimes I feel like i'm living a lie, because i'm with the wrong man, but I don't wanna let him go,he's the best that's ever happened to me, and everyone else sees it in me...but i'm in love with someone else. I don't know how to handle this..... my b/f has done so much for me that i feel like i owe him, he bought me a car, helps me with my bills, we just came back from Vegas vacation, and wants to help me with EVERYTHING, I tell him he doesn't have to, but he still does it for me.... what i would really want is to get back with my ex and take things slow......but he broke things off with me, and I don;t wanna be rejected again by him, and regret not wanting to start over with someone new, who is willing to give me the world... do you think I should give it a shot and talk with my ex? i've been plannig this day for long, and now I'm not sure if I should do it, and if it is the right thing to do.....the heart is so deceiving that i don't know if I can trust it... anyways, what can i do?????

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO please try really hard not to...it will bring you back to day one.... its still too recent, very recent, It's not a good idea.... Go out and celebrate life, and what lies ahead in your path, don't look back, I know is easier said than done, but I was also in your shoes a few months back, and I thought I was never gonna heal, but my days are not in slow motion anymore, my appetiteis slowly coming back, and I have met a "good Guy" so, don't worry, u r gonna be ok, trust me....these are just steping stones to our ultimate happiness, Go out and celebrate with friends, or family, take your mind off those haunting memories, believe me, I would torture myself thinking of these, and cry by myself for days even weeks, and I would have puffy eyes for days, everyone knew , it was written all over my face... pick yourself up, and keep walking.... Don't worry.... You are gonna be happy again, I guarantee... Good Luck

you guys are right, I shouldn't call, its a good idea about the card, that's exactly what i'll do.. thanks, this forum is cool, because I was soo close to dialing that number, but I decided to type first, and it makes sense, I'm not in his life anymore, so these type of issues, I gotta deal with them completely different now.... Thanks guys!

I found out not too long ago that his grandmother, (who i used to get along with really well) has cancer, and I feel really bad and concerned ... I want to call him, and ask if she is ok, the family hasn't told her what she has exactly, she is a nervous person, so they don't wanna worry her...she just knows that is a potential oportunity that she has cancer... but I feel really sad this is happening, as I know that my exes family is really tight, I called his grandma directly to try to avoid calling him, but when I asked how she was doing (as a general question) she didn't volunteered the info, so I obviously didn't push the issue. But I'm still concerned, and I would like to know how she's doing. I never got along too well with my exe's mom, so to call her....i don't know... she e-mailed me this morning,( can you believe it, we talk more now thru e-mails, than the whole time I was with her son, I think she likes it better this way, as she always thought I was't good enough for him) anyways, she but also didn't say anything about her mom's health. I guess i have no choice huh? i also want to call him to know how he's doing, I still care for him, i've been doing NC for 2 weeks, last time he called me and we spoke for a while...we broke up in May2004, 2yr live-in- relationship, i'm the dumpee...we were fighting too much for stupid stuff....he broke it off, I moved out, now I'm with someone new, which I'm beginnignt to care for, but I know i still have feelings for the ex....he was my first " I love you" guy, know what I mean? I wasn't his... anywayz, Should I call? I don't want him to think i'm using this as an excuse to call... seriously.. I really care about his old G's health.... what do you guys think...

Well, long story short, he broke up with me 4 months ago, 2 yrs together, 1 yr we lived together, I moved out in May. I was really broken hearted, he was my first true love, he had a previous 6 yr relationship which he left to b with me, I guess he felt the ex was puppy love, and it was about time to move on, anyways, we had a passionate relationship, our ups and downs were very extreme, lots of hurtful words were said, but lots of love was always till the end. In june I met a wonderful guy who has everything a girl can want, smart, funny very successfull, he really likes me also, and I like him.....but he doesn't have my heart, I still think about the ex, and sometimes when I see my ex at the gym, (we both are work out freaks) 1 week ago, we were flirting immensly, he more than me, he even whispered in my ear that he still adored me very much, and asked if I felt the same, I didn;t say anything, I just said to him, to not ask me that again. But I know he can see it in my eye that I still do. He knows i'm with someone new, I know he's with someone also, they just recently left to Vegas together, and I heard because we have mutual friends, my ex and I had planned to go now in October for my friends wedding... I'm still going, but now with my new crush, my ex knows I'm going with him. and when I said bye at the gym this last week, we almost kissed, we brushed lips, and gave each other a look of passion,...I don;t know, maybe he wants sex, maybe he's having second thought now that he knows that I'm dating a guy with so much potential, I think he though I was never gonna meet anyone better than him. I truly believe that my new crush is in some ways a healthier person for a new relatioship, but I can't lie to my heart, to make believe I stop loving my ex. I still love him, but I will never ask him to come back to me, I would if he asked me though, I know maybe i'm being stupid, I do the NC, I hang out with friends and my new crush has many friends, they all like me very much, and think trhat we are great together, I think that sometimes also, but I miss they way my ex used to make love to me, and that sucks. I don't have that with my new crush. maybe that's why I can;t let my ex go. I don't know, I'm frustrated today,

very inspiring, thanks for that, I was feeling a little under the weather today, till I read your post.......

Hi Finch, wuz up, Since you said Bad guy, I was comparing you to my experience with one, and that's my opinion of one, my ex was loving, caring, giving, and all those charming things, he was a mixture of good and bad, (mostly BAD) I understand your position, if she's the one calling you for sex, then hey...who's gonna say no right? So I was really into your reply, but I never meant to miss judge you in any way. who said anything about a serial killer here, don't get defensive nene....all I meant to say is that what comes goes around comes around, and I can relate, and I'm sure a lot of others can also... it just seems funny that you are the one trying to make the right move here, and she's wanting to have sex ALL THE TIME.... I agree with you, why do you think most girls are attracted to bad guys??? I'm a woman who doesn't put up with too much crap when it's uncalled for either, who does that??? Finch, there is no doubt in my mind that you have good intentions, we all do, the thing is that what we see as good intentions for ourselves might not be good for the other person who is getting hurt, but you don't really mean to purposely do these acts, is just that you can't control your feelings, and sometimes they just don't belong with that person any longer. remember what I said: isn't that what you are doing right now, think about this, if you know that having sex with the ex is not a good idea, although you do tell her that it isn't......why do you keep having sex with her???? is she putting a gun to your head?...no right??? I'm going thru the same situation, no gun to my head, I know its not the best idea, but I haven't found the shoe that fits me, so until then this one will do.....that's not right, but......who doesn't like to have sex, specially with the ex. (when they had a healthy sex life of course) No need to get grumpy, we are all here because we want o hear differnt points of views, sometimes we are not gonna agree 100% and that's ok right??? Finch I wish you lots of great sex!!!!!!!! write back if you like.

so... you are the bad guy huh.... and you are waiting for another one, till then your enjoyng this.....sound like it yup..... well, how do you know for sure she's only barely kissed the other guy, and is just covering that up, and waiting to see if you snap one day, and realize that she's the one, (I know, you said she knows you don't wanna b with her anymore) but by sleeping with her u r giving her mixed signals, and she will be holding on till you find another one, then u really break her, real bad, because like you said she's already getting feelings back for you...tha's what usually happens...tha's why I'm having second thoughts, because I would hate to be in her position right now, and you are just being the typical bad guy, I mean.... really just a plain guy, not really bad, just being selfish, which is not that bad either, but until when??? you want your cake and eat it too, I can relate, who doesn't, but to play with people's feelings is dangerous when you both are not in the same page, and obvously she's not in the same page with you, soooo, yeah, its getting sticky....I suggest you pull out, quick, but that's just my opinion. The bad guys are only fun for a little while, then it gets old, that's why I'm beginning to really like the good guys, those are the ones you take home to mama, and you are probably not that bad, you just have'nt found the shoe that fits you, until then you will be the bad guy.... And then, I really feel for you, u r gonna regret being the bad guy, because life cathces up with you, and is gonna be too late, U are gonna fall in love real bad, and is gonna hurt, ur probably the type of guy that feeds off good girls in order to feel good, at least that's how my ex is, and its the reason why he's so bad...because he can be.....ofcourse he's supa fine...which is also a plus for all bad guys..... I'm not a hater, I have done some damage myself, and I think it caught up to me now, with my ex, it ws my turn, now I know better. I mean, that's just how I see life, and so I try to do good (most of the time) now, I'm getting older you know....but I istill wanna have sex with the ex..... #-o

well, we broke up 4 months, ago, and had sex about 6 times after that, mututal agreement, I was hurt in the beginning after sex, we lived together for 1 yr, dated for another, our sex life was VERY HEALTHY, we are both very sexually attracted to each other, last time we had sex, I was gonna pass by to pick up the mail, and I ended up sleeping over, didn't discuss anything about us, just plain good old sex, with of course passion, and reminicing of those great experiences together, laughter about silly acts, play fight, we seemed like two little kids just discovering our sexuality, and boy was it good, I left that morning happy, we saw each other 2 days later at a mutual friends baby shower and played it out like we hadn't seen each other in weeks, (kinda weird) the looks were still there, but we both went our separate ways after the little party, its been about 3 weeks since we slept together, and i know he's dating someone new, i'm also, but that urge to sleep with him, is so tempting, I know we are over, its been over, I mean i don;t think we can never be friends for the same reason, that attraction is too powerful, but we just can;t get along, we fight too much, even when we fought we were passionate about it, and so I think is more like a lust feeling, rather than love, so now all that's left is sex, I know if I make that phone call its on, and emotionally I think I can handle it, i just don;t know if its worth giving him the satisfaction all over again..... what is wrong with me, has this ever happened to anyone else? ](*,) am i just hitting this wall everytime?? he's probably already had sex with his new chick, he's too much of a hornball to hold on for long, i would definitely ask for a condom, that's not the problem, but i just miss that kind of intimacy and passion, and freedom that anything goes between both of us, you know that confortable feeling??......my new crush is not as passionate, I think I'm too much for him, (not to be high on myself about these things, but am not a shy girl about my sexuality) but he's just such a "nice guy" type of guy, and after being with the "bad guy" i'm trying to divert this pattern, but I do miss the bad boy ways in bed, I want to take my time with this nice guy, so i'm not there yet in letting him know too much about my sexuality's do's and dont's. not yet, its too soon......but in the mean time, i can't stop thinking about sex with the ex. DOES ANYONE UNDERSTAND ME???? [-o

I don't think you have broken her trust, lets not go that far, I mean, I'm a true believer that everytning happens for a reason, and that mailbox was open because it needed to come out in the open, and so it did, he hasn't done anything ANYBODY ELSO WOULDN'T DO, you are gonna tell me you have never been sooo tempted? I lived with by ex for 1 yr, and one day I decided to look for our old pictures, because I bought a picture frame, so I look in his drawer, and found a love poem from his ex that looked pretty recent, stating how in love she still was, and remincing the good times, and who knows if she hand delivered, there was no envelope, and I had gone thru that drawer a couple of weeks berfore and NEVER saw that letter, and so i knew it was something recent, and I confronted him about it, and he tried to play that " you have violated my privacy crap" I was like what? so I live here, i know what's in every drawer in the kitchen, and all around the house, and everywhere around, and NOW your gonna tell me i can''t go thru this drawer because NOW I HAVE VIOLATED YOUR PRIVACY??? THST'S JUST THE REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY, and the guilty conscience, of him getting caught trying to hide something. why didn't he tell me about the letter, and ok fine he thought I didn;t need to know, but, so why did he play that you have invaded my privacy crap, when we live together, I can understand if we just started dating, and I just happened to visit him, and snooped, that's not right, but give me a break guy, to say the least, we are not together anymore, for many other factors, just my two cents...

draft copies are usually letters you are obviously working on, and you haven't sent them, so she probalby never sent them, you should try it yourself, write a message, and close out the mail system, the program will ask if you wanna save it as draft, then you click yes, and that's how its stored, the moment you open the program again and you got to draft, the message is there, then if you finish typing the letter, you press send, and the message will move from draft to sent box, and you will see a time and date the message was sent, so the message was never sent....... cut her a little break, but you still need an explanation of why she even thought of writing that message, I can tell you one thing though, you can;t forget someone that you were in love with is six months, although she might have told you she loved you, she was probalby still in love with him, (at that time)...its not easy letting go, wheter it was oct, nov, dec, she is now with you, and is your future wife, keep an open mind about this situation, is not as bad as it seems, I hope she learns her lesson though, the truth ALWAYS comes out no matter what, you already confronted her, if this is someone you are thinking of spendind the rest of your life with, you gotta be a friend and give her the benefit of the doubt, there will be a lot more difficult issues coming your way in a marriage, like, kids, drugs and kids, finances, and future trust issues that should be dealt with maturity. so don't make it a BIG DEAL, but it should be a deal to discuss without jealosy getting in the way. that's just my opinion. hope it helps you...

Tony, My ex and I lived together 1yr, & 2yr realtionship, he was my first serious true love, he had a 6yr relationship with his ex before me, he left her 4 me, he said he wasn't happy with her anymore, so we moved quickly into ours, very passionate, lots of loving, but also jealosy, and he didn't trust me ( he doesn't believe in guy friends, so down the drain went all my freinships) but I still loved him, and I felt he loved me, 3 months ago he broke things off, we were arguing way too much in the end, I really thought he was my soulmate we got along real good (in the good times) laugh, cry, dance, play, very deep serious times, good and bad, I mean it had a little of everything. when he left me, i became depressed and got on medication, one week after I left the house he was already with someone else in our house, and she's still with him. not living with him, but already taking all the space she can) even till this day if he asked i would go back...is this normal?? I'm still so in love with him, although i'm seeing someone now, who by the way is a great guy, i would leave him in a heart beat, because the passion, and urge to see him doesn't even come close to what I had with my ex, (in the beginning of my ex relationship) with this great guy I don't feel the same, but I'm attracted to him, and he makes me feel good, and happy, and myself. What am I doing wrong that I can't move on, and my ex already has.... and is there a chance that he's on a rebound, and would regret letting me go? after two months I decided to go off the medications, and do this the natural way, but i'm scared i'm gonna fall into a deeper depression soon. please respond, I don't know what else to do...

Justtwicethen, Princess77 understands, this good guy I'm just getting to know him, he knows about my last relationship and knows how hard its been, he's still there for me, and understands, no he doesn't know about what happened last week, but we are not even close to anything serious, infidelity??? how do you figure if I don't even call him my boyfriend? I can agree that by sleeping with my ex it didn't do me or him any good other than just a great night of uncontrollable, passionate, sex,......but that's it......... tha's probably all that's left of me and him. Princess77, I've read a few replies from you in different forums and it seems you are doing better, I thought I was doing better myself, as I've been spending time with friends, but it comes down to a lot of drinking and partying, which leave me in a much bigger downer the next day, but I can't help to just try to numb myself just to not think about anything real. I don't know what else to do to try to move on...

hi Princess77, how are you, I don't know if you remember me, we wrote each other some PM's, Yes its me, am still aching, anyway, hope you are doing better, I know you were having a rough one also, and you are right about my ex, I think he found out I'm dating someone new, and is trying to show me that he's also moved on, tha's the only reason why I would think he's doing this to me, but I still think is so immature, childish and silly, I don't need to know who or what he is dating, and he doesn't need to know about me either, i mean for what??? what's the point? I mean isn't this what he waned in the first place? and now he's trying to play the one who has his cake and eats it too..... but you are right, it just sucks that I still want him, after all this pain, I want him to want me again..... does any body have any ideas??? anyone has a good experience that they wish to share???

After exactly 3 months from the day that changed the rest of my life... after 2 years of thinking he was the one, today I don't hurt as much as the first day but I still burn, and my heart still wonders, After knowing that he is already with someone new, and I'm also with someone new, I still have dreams that disturb me, and don't let me move on, I can't control my dreams, how do I tell my mind to stop... I can't. After seeing her car in what used to be my house, our drive way and him knowing that I still need to pick up my mail, he knows I will see this, he doesn't seem to care...why is it that people can turn on you so quickly, why is it that the body needs to feed off other people's happiness, why does he feel so good without me, and I don't. I try.......I really try, but my life hasn't been the same without him. although he has hurt me is such a mostrous way, he let me go, and I try to still be understanding, it doesn;t fit in my heart to do what he's done to me these past few weeks. My last conversation with him, went like this, he asked are you gonna pass by to pick up the mail? I said yes but I'm gonna wait for the rain to stop, I'll call you when I'm around, he said ok, and we hung up, then called me again two hours later and asked thae same questions, and i said yes i'm on my way, he said, just to let you know, ther is gonna be a "friend" in the house so if you see a car outside I just want you to know...so i said, no problem, we don't have to see each other anyway, leave my mail in the mailbox and its no big deal..... (no big deal??!!!) my heart was pounding so hard, I wanted to scream, but I held it all in and went to pick the stupid mail. of course I get there and her car is there, and all the lights in the house are off, and all you see in the tv light in the bedroom, what used to be our bedroom, I took my stuff and left. I cried myself to sleep, only to realize that what I had been waiting for in the mail for a few weeks now was not what I had gone to pick up, so I had to unfortunately call him again to tell him it wasn't it, and to please just forward it to my new address when he does receive it. I did this the next day, because I could not bare to call him knowing that she was probably next to him. Anyway, the next morning I called and ofcourse he was so nice and cool about it, I was cool about it too, and just said just throw everything else away that comes for me, except for the check i'm waiting for, so we don't have to call each other anymore for these silly things, I gave him my address and I said good bye, he said bye also, but I did notice that he studdered a little, but we both just hung up. that was on a thursday, and just 4 days before that he had called me and said he wanted to see me, so blindly in love that I still am, of course I go see him, and we had the best night, but we always do, our sex life has always been great, i sleep over and he made breakfast, we woke up still loving each other, said it was nice to see each other, and I we both went to work. and four days later this happens...I try to understand his actions, but I can't. I needed to vent, and I don;t think my friends want to hear about him anymore........ I'm seeing this great guy, who really cares for me, treats me like a princess, and I wish i can give him so much more but my feelings for my ex don't let me go on, and I don't know how or what else to do. Obviously he doesn't know about what just happened with the ex, and I would never tell him, he doesn't deserve this, and most probably I don't deserve him

DON'T TELL HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm just putting myself in her shoes, and I would forgive you, but I would never forget, and it will most probably ruin the relationship...its only been 4 months or so, so it will be easier to let you go now, than if there was a 4year relationship in between, know what i mean?, if you are truly sorry, and you are not bluffing, then say your sorries with God, and let him take care of the rest, but just remember what comes around goes around, so don 't be surprised in the future if things don't work out your way. good luck, and stop bringing bad karma into your life, its not worth it. specially with all those STD"s out there...

well, why can't you start looking at other clinics, maybe even a hospital? you are a doctor! there should not be any reasons why you can't get a job, you are young, and can start building a clientel, and maybe in the future can open up your own practice, but you need to open up new doors, don't just stay looking at a door that is closing, you might be loosing the chance of a new door opening, and you don't even know it. Sometimes God does these things to push us to that next stepping stone when we seem to stay too long in one place. Try to see things in a more positive light! go out there, you are young and successfull, you might even wanna think about going out of state! Good luck and don't worry! your gonna be fine...

well, I don't want it to be just sex, I'm really attracted to him, I think it goes both ways, but he's stubborn, and so am I, and I think is more of an ego thing on his side on the-get-back together issue, because from our talk today I felt that there was still love comimng both ways, but I don't want to rush into anything. I want it to be just right. I'm still not 100% ready to let him go. I don't wanna make that mistake of having sex with the ex... know what I mean/ I already went thru it these past two months.....

Well, After 3 weeks of NC, today had to be the day. You know there's gonna be that one day you are gonna have to talk to your ex again.... I'm buying a new car this week, and need a down paymnt. so i liquidated some stoks i own, and the company i used to work for has my old address, (the EX's) we used to live together for 1yr. dated for 2, moved out 2 months ago. By the time the check gets printed and sent the computert won't register my new address in time. Believe me I tried to change the address. So I had to call to let him know to expect the check, and to please forward to me and THAT"S IT!! I was very nice, sounded happy but relaxed, and secure, and of course he asked how I was doing, my brother, mother, sister, etc... and then he started to flirt with me majorly! saying how happy he was to hear my voice, and that I just made his day so much better, (you know the Romeo crap ) and we have mutual friends who are having a baby shower this weekend, they were introduced by us 4 years ago and now are having a baby, (she's my best friend, and he's his really good friend) so I HAVE TO GO, i'm hosting it, and my ex IS GOING! so he said that it was gonna be really nice to see me this Saturday, and that he's been wanting to see me..... He's always been a very sexual person, so I know what he is thinking. and i'm not gonna lie, I'm thinking the same thing, even on the phone there was such strong chemistry, and he sounded happy to hear from me, we laughed a few, and I know when he gets excited he tempts to talk a lot, we talked for about 20 minutes, catching up with our lives. at the end he threw me a kiss..... I'm not gonna lie, i'm seeing stars, but i'm more well gorunded that 3 weeks ago, i don't wanna get too happy about it, because he is one of those "bad guys" and so he just might be wanting some booty. but I know there are some feelings attached......are there? I've been trying to move on, I've met a "nice guy" and although I'm not ready for a relationship with him, I 'm starting to have feelings for him, BUT i'm madly in love with my ex. and today it just feels stronger..... to give you some background, he broke up with me, we were arguing too much, and it wasn't getting better. so I moved out, and he knew that I wanted to keep triyng to work things out, but he said he thought it was never gonna change. and I know he was seeing some girl these past couple of months, I know for sure he already slept with her, and he did admit to me he had met this girl, but never admitted he slept with her.....but that's just obvious. I found her toothbrush and lipstick in his house. that was 3 weeks ago. this background changes everything right??? can you guys give me some opinions??