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Thread: Should I tell her boyfriend?

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by SarahJayne19
    Yeah you're all probably right. This helps. I think I need to let them figure it out for themselves.
    Good, glad to hear this.
    I second the other opinions. Please don't get involved. Focus on your healing and feeling better about yourself and putting the break behind you. Know that not all men are as confused as your ex or his friend. Others will make their own bed and they'll get what's coming. You may have no control over when that time comes but it's not your responsibility to do vigilante justice. They'll get what they deserve in due time.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
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    To add, it sounds like you're going off someone else's information anyway. Even if you don't think your ex had any reason to lie (honestly don't know why he was telling you any of this anyway), I wouldn't risk shaking up someone else's world based on second-hand knowledge.

  3. #13
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    There is nothing that you have to do. Other people lives’ do not concern you. You broke up. Go on with your life. Leave the other three to do as they please. It’s best to not get involved in situations which doesn’t concern you.

    You are in no place to tell her boyfriend anything. The only people who “have the right” (let’s put it this way) to tell him about the whole situation, are her girlfriend and his friend. And they will do so when they are ready.

    You got out of this situation with the best possible way (as you describe). Go on with your life. Find yourself another boyfriend or what have you.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    I agree whatever is going on with them, doesn't involve you. All this crap is on them to figure out. So sorry for all the hurt, you must be so gutted. At least he broke up with you proper, and gave your closure...that's something that most never get.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    Your ex boyfriend wasn't "honest with you, he cheated on you and then delivered too much information to reduce his guilt and come out as the "honest good guy". Why not desengaging from this mess, block him and her and stop knowing who's dating who and all those irrelevant drama details? Let them deal with it. Take care of your healing, that's the only thing it matters.

  7. #16
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    Taking out your feelings on this (wanting to punish your ex-boyfriend, etc.), I'd tell the girl's boyfriend.

    This is about her boyfriend, who is in the dark that he's dating a cheater.

    If it were me, I'd want to know.

  8. #17
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    Do you have any proof of the things your ex told you about her, OP?

    Meaning, was this revealed in a face-to-face conversation with you? Or was some of this communicated through messages? I ask because without any sort of "tangible" evidence of what he claims happened between them, there is room for her to just deny it and call you a crazy ex who is trying to make trouble.

  9. #18
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
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    I'd take the high road, by burying this and moving forward. In short, give them both enough rope and they'll hang them self.

  10. #19
    Platinum Member Clio's Avatar
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    Cut them all out of your life. Not your circus not your monkeys anymore (thankfully). Her boyfriend has chosen denial. Your boyfriend abandoned you. Being honest about it doesn't make him less disloyal. You are diverting your anger to her but it's your ex who was disloyal. You need to extricate yourself from their lives, not keep getting involved in their mess.

  11. #20
    Originally Posted by SarahJayne19
    My boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me out of the blue 2 months ago. I thought we were very happy and he was very loving. It turned out he had kissed his best female friend and had feelings for her.

    I had often been suspicious of his best friend. They've known each other for 5 years and in the past year she had repeatedly said very strange/over dependent things to him. He'd always been honest with me about this though and told me what she had said. He assured me she was just very unhappy and he saw her only as a friend. During the break up he was very, very honest with me about their situation - perhaps too honest - so I know an awful lot of details. He told me a few days after it had happened and has told me many of the thing she has said to him and he has said to her.

    She, on the other hand, has a boyfriend and although she has told my ex she loves him and they've agreed they want to be together, hasn't told her boyfriend anything about what is happening. The worst part is, her boyfriend is a close friends with my ex.

    I'm incredibly anxious and conflicted about what to do. I am so glad my ex was honest with me and feel really guilty for not telling her boyfriend. There are circumstances which make it difficult - her father has just died and her and her boyfriend live together - but my confusion over what to do has left me so distressed I was sent home from work the other day due to a panic attack.

    I hate the fact that her boyfriend trusts her, just as I did my ex, and is oblivious to what is happening.
    To put it bluntly, their relationship is none of your business. You just want to say something out of revenge but this will inevitably backfire on you. I would say stay well out of it. It's nothing to do with you.

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