Starlight925

It's one salad out of your entire life. Politely eat a few bites with the dressing you don't love, and say you want to save your appetite for the main course. The huge deal people make over food these days is astounding. It's one meal out of your life. Don't like it? There will be another one in a few short hours.

I don't care if people keep their shoes on. In fact, I encourage them to keep them on if they ask. My friends/family are the same. I've never been asked to remove my shoes. But if you have a house rule, then yes, your guests/lodgers need to follow it.

It's not only an unreasonable request to require you to find a completely GF restaurant, it borders on controlling and annoying. My SIL has been hospitalized with Celiac. It's a serious condition, and we make sure that any food we make is not cross-contaminated, etc. Separate plates for GF crackers, for example, separate spreader knives for dips. She is otherwise in control of how she orders at restaurant, and she & my brother eat out multiple times a week. She simply views the menu beforehand and double-checks with the wait staff, and enjoys her meal. No one has ever "requested" that we find a GF restaurant, in fact, she travels with her own food just in case. GF bread, etc. We laugh at all the stuff she carries in her large purse. H is protective at best, out of line at worst.

Anything under 6’6’ is a dealbreaker for most women. Sorry, just the facts. 😂😂😂

Sounds like middle schoolers who chase each other around the swing sets, pull each other's hair, and run. She's growing up. You do the same.

I agree with @MissCanuck, stop handing your power over to him. Bring the birthday donuts, participate like you always have. Don't let James steal your work joy. Sounds like others are aware of James' irritating personality. From someone with many more years of work experience than you, I can tell you: Be patient. The Jameses of the work world don't last. But this may last a year, two years, or longer. At some point, James will think he's so great, too great for this "stupid place", and he'll move on. You'll finally have peace. Trust me, I've worked with Jameses a million times. So for now, be patient, nod and slowly go back to your work when James annoys you. My advice is to say nothing to him that could be considered adversarial, because it will turn on you. Oh, I guess @Seymore isn't having a good day. Just nod, be polite and courteous, and let him do his stupid shtick of popping up every time his insecurity thinks he's not getting enough attention. I promise you, everyone else feels the same, even if they're being polite and going along with him. I once overheard the President of the company I was in speaking with our manager about a similarly annoying coworker who had announced, very loudly and proudly, that she had found a new job. We could all tell she was hoping we'd all be envious of her. The President's exact words to the manager? "Good riddance". Be patient. This is the stuff of sitcom skits, except you're in it. Trust me....you won't end up working with him forever.

Can you Zoom with the Sales Rep?

Agree that you need to spring for the Uber. Make an appointment with the Finance Manager and Uber on over there. They will show you a whole bunch of legal-sized pages with numbers upon numbers, and text upon text, and ask you to sign here and initial there. Do not sign a single thing yet. Take your time and read through every single page. Does this include TTL? (Tax, title, license)? Did they throw in any types of extended warranties that you may not want? Any "free service" (that cost more later)? Etc., etc., etc. You are smart to ask around and think this through. There are many Free Finance calculators on the internet. Use a few to determine what you think is a fair amount. Good luck on getting a cool car!

At 11 bottles a week, she's dangerously close to 2 bottles a day. How old are your kids? I'm sorry to say, but you'll need to make some decisions here. She could hurt the kids by driving them or even a household accident.

She doesn't respond right away because she doesn't want to respond right away. Quit making excuses for her. I don't care how busy she is, a response takes LITERALLY 10 seconds. Literally. My guess is, she has other texts incoming to which she is responding, other things that are more interesting for her than you. Sure, she snuggles up to you when you're together, but out of sight, out of mind. This all reads to me that she's just not that into you. Sorry to be so blunt, but I'd let this one go.

That's a great question, @Batya33. One of my closest friends was always a size 2-4, but over the years, with menopause and stress, she's gained maybe 20 lbs., despite the workouts, personal trainer, etc. She still looks great to me, but she no longer has that head-turning physique, and lucky for her, her husband still finds her gorgeous. @Areophile, what would you do?

I'm appalled at the fat shaming that has gone on in this post. OP never asked opinions about his weight. He asked for insight as to his preference for a narrow sampling of women. This thread has gone so far off topic with searches, charts, and general shaming that I find horrible.

I have complete respect for your religious beliefs and for your careful and thoughtful approach to marriage as a lifetime commitment. You sound like a very thoughtful and compassionate person. As to the chances of it passing on, that is something that is so complicated that I don't think anyone knows. It's like catching a cold: 5 people can be in a room with 1 other person who has a cold, and none of them catch it, all of them catch it, half catch it....you see where I'm going with this. What I would do is book some time with your doctor and open up a discussion. And book some time with a therapist, a few sessions, to see how to formulate your thoughts on the matter, as I do think that it would help to have a third party professional help guide you through this decision.

OK, this does make things a bit different. Although one of the guys in my story did eventually marry the girlfriend and later divorced, just as a side note. He said that since he knew he was going to marry her and "be with her forever", the herpes was irrelevant. Until he found himself back in the dating world. In your situation, given your religious affiliation and the fact that whoever your wife is will be permanent, I'd just discuss it with her, maybe with a therapist, just to get things out in the open. I applaud her for telling you. Honesty cannot be undervalued. So, here's a personal story of a family member: Female family member of mine who told the guy she was dating that she had it. He said he didn't care, he loved her. 23+ years and 2 gorgeous young adult daughters later, they are still happily married. And BTW, he's never gotten it. Interestingly, after my whole situation, my then-new job included selling Valtrex, the herpes drug. So I learned alllllll about it. Basically, the person who has it can transmit it any time there is viral shedding, in the prodromal stage. Typically, that person starts to get a tingling, indicating that an outbreak is imminent. Other than those times, it is very rare to pass it on. Valtrex "calms" it down, meaning the outbreaks are fewer and less severe. In the prodromal stage, nothing is present visually, but there are viral cells coming to the surface that can be shed and shared.

I've dealt with this twice (I'm a woman). First one, the guy told me prior to us getting to the point of having sex. I realized, for other reasons, that this relationship would likely not last (I felt he was too close to his ex, he always seemed to "last-minute" me), and I ended it prior. Second time, I dated someone for 2 months, slept together many times, and he told me one morning when he had a breakout. Oooops, so sorry, should have told you sooner. I never spoke to him again, and I've been thoroughly tested (have to get tested for all the antibodies, special test, have to pay separately). So I hate to be the bearer of the bad news for you, but in both of my cases, looking back, those relationships would never have worked anyway, and I could have gotten a nice little permanent present. Both guys got it from their prior girlfriends.