cooldude123

Thank you to everyone who has replied. Sorry it took a while for me to respond. I didn't know anyone else commented on this thread. All of your advice was very good and I appreciate it.

I'm listening to a podcast with Robert now. He seems like a pretty inspiring guy so far

Yea I've learned some women don't like compliments at all and find them cringe. So it's a gamble every time I say them. I try not to overdo it with anyone though as I've learned the hard way recently. She gave me a bunch of compliments so I gave a bunch back. So what qualities increase your attraction? Confidence?

Oh yea, I will continue to be polite. I'm the king of overthinking things but I'm starting some new therapy which might help with that.

100% agree that compliments and sweet words are not just manipulation by men

Okay great, that's typically what I've been doing.

So are you and others saying I am not being genuine by giving compliments?

Okay, usually I invite the girl on a date and pay the whole bill. Which is what I thought I should be doing, but others in this thread said not to lol. Her taste such as her clothes or music choices?

So what you and @The Shark101 are saying is to have confidence? If the girl offers to split the bill, should I say yes or no? If I feel like she has a nice smile, should I tell her?

Can you give me an example of how I am trying too hard to impress? I've learned not to do this from previous dates but I didn't think I was trying too hard in this date

I do gentlemanly things like holding the door and paying for everything

I am taking a break to focus on myself for now. Thank you

Yea I agree. You can't do anything wrong with the right person. I thought maybe there would be chemistry on a second or third date. In other words something to build up. I thought she was cute and sweet so that's why I wanted to give her another chance.

I sometimes am the one who decides there is no chemistry and ends things. I'm in therapy so I can ask my therapist what she thinks I'm doing wrong. Personally I just think I'm not flirty enough, I don't really know how to flirt aside from giving compliments or saying sweet things. I disagree that letting her know I got home sounds lame and weak. I think it's a sweet gesture. And like I said, she asked me to tell her when I got home. For some reason, women get home and their opinion changes of me. They like me while on the date, then they get home and can think about things and are like "hmm I don't actually like this guy." After she ended things with me, I did ask her what she didn't like and she couldn't name anything specifically and just said she didn't feel chemistry.

To be honest, no, I didn't really feel chemistry with her. I just thought she was cute and sweet so I figured I would give it another date or two to really figure out if something is there. And yea, in that moment I was willing to settle for a subpar connection to be honest with you. She actually reached out to me after like two weeks of not talking. We both had car accidents recently, mine was a lot worse than hers though so I figured we were both just dealing with our own stuff. I was going to take a break from dating and then she reappeared in my life so I wanted to go for it.