BCC123 Posted August 19, 2019 Share Posted August 19, 2019 thanks for opening! so my boyfriend and i just had our first big fight, screaming and all. we've been together for 5 months and hes the most amazing, understanding, patient boyfriend ive ever had. on saturday we went to a wedding and of course it was open bar. we had lots to drink. towards the end of the reception some of the brides maids were coming up to him to meet him while i wasnt with him and one grabbed his hand and they held hands for a minute - i was upset. i went outside while he was smoking a cigarette and told him i didnt like it. so there was that- i know i get jealous and this is an issue of mine. before all that happened i noticed his ex girlfriend was there while we were at the reception. i had asked him several times if she would be there the previous weeks before the wedding, he kept saying he didnt know. when i noticed her i said - your ex is here. he said yeah i know i saw her a while ago. i was a little upset he didnt tell me he saw her - when he knew i was concerned before the wedding. he said it was because its not a big deal to him and he didnt want to make it one. understood. then at the very end of the reception - i asked his friend what everyone was doing for after hours. he said they were all going to his place but E***** (my boyfriend) said it would be weird if you two came because his ex is coming ... ok so now i was upset. why would it be weird if theres nothing left between them? why didnt he tell me she was there when he saw her? why was he holding this other girls hand? he loves attention from other people but would NEVER cross the line into cheating. i know this but it still bothers me that hes just gives in to attention from anyone - ive bickered about this before then felt bad as if i was attacking a part of his personality so i end up apologizing. so after the reception we go to a bar and im still talking about it which is making me more upset. i say im just gonna Uber home and he said no i'll take you. he screamed in the car the whole way home. not at me just in general. he was mad at his friend he was mad that he "never gets taken seriously" and what he says doesnt matter etc etc. we get back to my place, kind of calm down but we are still trying to discuss this all while pretty drunk. everytime we talk about it i get upset. he storms off to his car and instead of letting him leave i throw a tantrum, tell him i cant believe he would leave me in this state when im obviously upset. i tell him leave but idk what will happen tomorrow if he does. i KNOW i should not have given him an ultimatum. he comes back in. we start arguing again. it gets heated and he leaves again. i call him and he said hes going to go to bed and cool off. im panicking at this point. im so upset he left. im upset he left while i was so upset. im upset he left after i told him what the consequences might be (us not being together) i understand that he wanted to cool off. i understand we were just arguing and nothing good was coming out of it. i understand we were both drunk and being inconsiderate of each others feelings at this moment. he could tell how upset i was and came back. he said he didnt realize how upset it was making me that he left. he wasnt trying to leave ME just the situation. we went to sleep and spent the next day together, mostly napping from being hungover and mentally exhausted. i feel so sad and guilty. i shouldnt have said anything about it at all. im hoping i didnt ruin the dynamic of the relationship. im having a really hard time forgiving myself. a part of me is still upset he left. i guess im looking for words of encouragement, advice, even tell me how i should handled this better. anything helps. Link to comment
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