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  1. I don’t know either of you or your life goals, but you may find yourself ready to settle down sooner than her and that may lead to issues later on. I’m speaking from experience. I dated a guy when I was around her age who was around your age now. He hit a stage where he wanted to settle and I wasn’t nearly ready. Of course this may be completely different for you. Just get to know her a bit and see if you’d be even on the same page about your dating goals. That’s what’s most important. It shouldn’t matter what others think.
  2. it sounds like he met a new woman during the trip, but is too cowardly to tell you. The ED and all the other stories about relatives dying sound like lies to keep you off his back. If you sense that someone doesn’t want to be around you, step back.
  3. Whhhaaa! Congratulations! Your life will only be much more incredible now 🙂
  4. Thank you for your response @Batya33 of course I don’t think it’s positive or negative to have children older. There’s nothing wrong with it at all. I bet you are a wonderful mom to your son.
  5. @Batya33, I agree that how children turn out depends on so many factors, not just one. I think in this context it was more about the cliche of every only child being spoiled. I think in that sense you can say that it’s not a given, if parents make sure to be mindful. @adee07 I think at the end of the day there really just is no right or wrong. Whatever you decide will be the right decision. I pressured myself a bit more when my daughter was 3, but at this point her sibling wouldn’t even go to the same school most likely. Meaning when they will be in elementary my daughter will be in middle school and so forth. So in a way, I started being a bit more relaxed, but I’m leaning towards no, simply because I personally would prefer not to have kids past 35 and that is fast approaching for me.
  6. I get it! We have a 4 year old daughter and have been thinking about a second. My husband wants her to have a sibling, I’m more iffy about going through it all again. I know it’s doable, but life right now is so nice and easy for us with just one. I’m very hesitant to give it up and start all over again with night feeding, potty training, etc. I’m also an only child, and my husband has a sibling, so naturally we see this a bit differently. The whole trope of the “spoiled only child” is such a cliche. It all depends on how you raise your child. I’ve noticed I like it quiet in my home. Constant noise is deadly to me, whereas my husband is used to more going on around him. I just have a hard time imagining two children screaming and fighting all day. But then I’m sure it would be wonderful if they got along and played. It’s sooo hard! I have no answer for you, but I understand!
  7. I haven’t read all the responses, so I apologize if this has been addressed already. It sounds like you put lots of work into having sex to make sure your partner always reaches an orgasm. It all sounds fairly intense, and when you’re already out of shape, it can turn into a chore. Personally, I don’t need to orgasm to enjoy sex with my husband. The connection is often enough. She really loves you and may just want to connect sexually without needing a convulsing orgasm. Maybe if you start approaching it that way without the need to achieve breath-taking climax, it may become something you can enjoy more. Of course, if you don’t feel like it every day, there’s nothing wrong with it either. I think a simple “Im a bit tired tonight, let’s cuddle on the sofa instead” shouldn’t shake a secure relationship.
  8. “Entering a legal contract which makes things very tricky if anything was to go wrong in the relationship.” So on the one hand you say this. On the other you mention this: “it's not the commitment that I'm worried about... I am very happy to stay with this girl forever, and to enter into a mortgage with her which would tie us together financially for many years” I’m a little confused. Is it the commitment aspect you worry about? If so, fair enough. But being concerned about possible divorce, but then mentioning you have no issues being bound together eternally by debt makes very little sense to me. The money aspect is easily solved. Don’t spend a ton on a wedding. You can go to a courthouse and spend very little money.
  9. Aw, I’m sorry you feel this way about yourself. It’s extremely likely that nobody sees your “flaws” the way you do. As you get older, you’ll see that lots of little things you worry about now are laughable later on. Be careful that you don’t consume social media too much. The perfect world you see there is rarely as perfect. If you have to use the platform try to follow things that actually make you feel positive about yourself and life. Most people spend endless time to get the right lighting and pose for their content. There are lots of body positive accounts to follow that don’t show filtered or overly perfected images. Aside from that, what actually matters is how well you do in school and how kind you are to others. Stay active, stay healthy and don’t sweat the small stuff. I’m sure you’re lovely!
  10. I mean, he’s not prioritizing your relationship. You made it known that you don’t like his behavior, but he’s not doing anything to change it. You’re not married and don’t have children, but “only” 4 years under the belt. At this point, the decision would be pretty simple for me personally.
  11. I’m truly sorry for the mental struggle OP is going through, but when you have children, your mental struggle always comes secondary. You DO what’s right for the kids (divorce), and deal with your emotional turmoil after. That’s just what a being a parent is all about. You are your kids only advocate. You protect them first.
  12. I’m sorry OP, but I’m flabbergasted at what I’m reading. Anyone threatening violence against my child would be booted out of my life yesterday. You’re seriously still considering the kids could be “overreacting”? I’m shaking my head here...
  13. As a mom myself I’d find it more funny than anything, knowing her parents were there and there wasn’t serious danger involved. Is your mom overly cautious or anxious about your safety in general? I’d let her ponder this a bit and let the dust settle. Give it a few days and try to approach her gently that you value her trust and feel you can share your life with her. That it throws you for a loop that she punished you for something harmless and you don’t want to feel like you need to hold information back, because you fear she’ll punish you. I read a quote once that really spoke to me. Do you want your children to come to you for help if they’re in trouble? Or do you want them to suffer in silence and potentially make it worse because they are afraid of your reaction? I’m paraphrasing but one of the most important things to me when it comes to my daughter is fostering a relationship that’s open and trusting. You may talk to her about that, but keep in mind, she most likely comes from a place of love and is simply overly cautious about your well being.
  14. Sorry, maybe I missed this somewhere, but why do you think she needs therapy for dieting? Is it possible she hasn’t found the right diet for her? Eating salads all day or restricting too severely can make your body actually stall in weight loss. There are lots of hidden sugars in salad dressing which could be another problem. When I had a baby I was trying to lose a few pounds afterwards. Nothing severe, but what helped me a lot was changing my overall way of eating vs. trying to lose quickly. Home cooked meals, no added sugars. Quality steaks and limiting carbs such as bread or pasta. Leafy greens, some fruits mainly berries. You don’t have to be unhappy and starving all day to see a difference. Make sure you get protein with each meal to make you feel fuller. Walking a few times a day.
  15. We’re in a similar boat, Lo, regarding a move to the country. I get your ambivalence on wanting a small town, village school sort of atmosphere for the kids, but sort of needing a bit of the city glam. I’m so there with you. We’re also considering a move out somewhere. Housing where we are is unaffordable and a part of me longs for a simpler life. I’ve been a city girl all my life so I’m trying to find a spot that allows me my stupid luxury spa treatments (massages, facials), trips to big organic grocery stores that I love and access to nice restaurants. I’m also totally cool with a cute little village Biergarten or something where everyone meets up on the weekend. Trying to find THAT spot. It’s hard since we’re having the same time crunch with needing to find a good school for our daughter. It’s a weird time for sure! Hang in there, I’m sure it’ll all turn out great!
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