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  1. “Entering a legal contract which makes things very tricky if anything was to go wrong in the relationship.” So on the one hand you say this. On the other you mention this: “it's not the commitment that I'm worried about... I am very happy to stay with this girl forever, and to enter into a mortgage with her which would tie us together financially for many years” I’m a little confused. Is it the commitment aspect you worry about? If so, fair enough. But being concerned about possible divorce, but then mentioning you have no issues being bound together eternally by debt makes very little sense to me. The money aspect is easily solved. Don’t spend a ton on a wedding. You can go to a courthouse and spend very little money.
  2. Aw, I’m sorry you feel this way about yourself. It’s extremely likely that nobody sees your “flaws” the way you do. As you get older, you’ll see that lots of little things you worry about now are laughable later on. Be careful that you don’t consume social media too much. The perfect world you see there is rarely as perfect. If you have to use the platform try to follow things that actually make you feel positive about yourself and life. Most people spend endless time to get the right lighting and pose for their content. There are lots of body positive accounts to follow that don’t show filtered or overly perfected images. Aside from that, what actually matters is how well you do in school and how kind you are to others. Stay active, stay healthy and don’t sweat the small stuff. I’m sure you’re lovely!
  3. I mean, he’s not prioritizing your relationship. You made it known that you don’t like his behavior, but he’s not doing anything to change it. You’re not married and don’t have children, but “only” 4 years under the belt. At this point, the decision would be pretty simple for me personally.
  4. I’m truly sorry for the mental struggle OP is going through, but when you have children, your mental struggle always comes secondary. You DO what’s right for the kids (divorce), and deal with your emotional turmoil after. That’s just what a being a parent is all about. You are your kids only advocate. You protect them first.
  5. I’m sorry OP, but I’m flabbergasted at what I’m reading. Anyone threatening violence against my child would be booted out of my life yesterday. You’re seriously still considering the kids could be “overreacting”? I’m shaking my head here...
  6. As a mom myself I’d find it more funny than anything, knowing her parents were there and there wasn’t serious danger involved. Is your mom overly cautious or anxious about your safety in general? I’d let her ponder this a bit and let the dust settle. Give it a few days and try to approach her gently that you value her trust and feel you can share your life with her. That it throws you for a loop that she punished you for something harmless and you don’t want to feel like you need to hold information back, because you fear she’ll punish you. I read a quote once that really spoke to me. Do you want your children to come to you for help if they’re in trouble? Or do you want them to suffer in silence and potentially make it worse because they are afraid of your reaction? I’m paraphrasing but one of the most important things to me when it comes to my daughter is fostering a relationship that’s open and trusting. You may talk to her about that, but keep in mind, she most likely comes from a place of love and is simply overly cautious about your well being.
  7. Sorry, maybe I missed this somewhere, but why do you think she needs therapy for dieting? Is it possible she hasn’t found the right diet for her? Eating salads all day or restricting too severely can make your body actually stall in weight loss. There are lots of hidden sugars in salad dressing which could be another problem. When I had a baby I was trying to lose a few pounds afterwards. Nothing severe, but what helped me a lot was changing my overall way of eating vs. trying to lose quickly. Home cooked meals, no added sugars. Quality steaks and limiting carbs such as bread or pasta. Leafy greens, some fruits mainly berries. You don’t have to be unhappy and starving all day to see a difference. Make sure you get protein with each meal to make you feel fuller. Walking a few times a day.
  8. We’re in a similar boat, Lo, regarding a move to the country. I get your ambivalence on wanting a small town, village school sort of atmosphere for the kids, but sort of needing a bit of the city glam. I’m so there with you. We’re also considering a move out somewhere. Housing where we are is unaffordable and a part of me longs for a simpler life. I’ve been a city girl all my life so I’m trying to find a spot that allows me my stupid luxury spa treatments (massages, facials), trips to big organic grocery stores that I love and access to nice restaurants. I’m also totally cool with a cute little village Biergarten or something where everyone meets up on the weekend. Trying to find THAT spot. It’s hard since we’re having the same time crunch with needing to find a good school for our daughter. It’s a weird time for sure! Hang in there, I’m sure it’ll all turn out great!
  9. He’s most likely kept her number, because he wants to be able to contact her again down the line. Or he forgot to delete it. Have you asked him?
  10. All of this sounds so complicated. If you’re this hung up on him just contact him and ask if he’s available for lunch on such and such day and follow through. If he’s not, well so be it. How old are you?
  11. It honestly sounds like he got fed up with the long distance relationship and is lacking the courage to tell you so. I’m really sorry.... btw don’t blame the sign. I’m a scorpio and I’m alright ;)
  12. I’m sorry you’ve had such a bad experience. I’m not a man, and of course I can’t say this with any certainty, but I have a feeling it’s going to be a bit hard to find anyone who doesn’t engage in occasional self pleasure. Masturbation can be a stress relief and nobody is always in the mood to engage in full on sexual intercourse. Do you feel this way about masturbation in general or only with the aid of porn? Meaning, would you be ok with your partner just imagining stuff once in a while? I’d suggest talking about your unease, but foster a relationship where honesty isn’t punished. Meaning, if you police someone’s every action and come across as accusatory, you’ll find that people get just really good at hiding to avoid confrontation. I’m not saying you do this btw. If sex suffers due to porn use it must be crushing to your self esteem and I hope you’re able to talk about it to someone. However occasional porn use really doesn’t need to be competing with your own value and desirability.
  13. I guess I don’t understand why you’ve never met once in those 7 years? Did she always have this boyfriend? I’m not sure why you wouldn’t grab coffee or something after this festival even once. Unless I missed something and you live in different states? But it sounds like y’all live in the same city.
  14. I loved the discussion and it’s super interesting to hear what everyone thinks about it!
  15. And rose I forgot to mention, She wasn’t being judgemental but rather surprised and it took me for a loop.
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