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hairybda

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  1. hairybda
    i don't understand why you write me your not happy, and that you want to go home.. but then there are pictures of you looking nice, with your new boyfriend. last night when i was trashed i wrote your new bf a nice message. nice how he called me back today and said i was the loser because i lost a wonderfull lady. haha i've lost you? we were together for 6 years, you shack up with this guy, and now its all permanent? hahahaha hahaha i hate you so much
  2. hairybda
    i've been thinking more about why you sent me the msg on facebook and then the call the other night. the call from the hotel the other night, got me thinking.. were you ok.. were you burnt by the deep fryer? did something happen to you. my email to you, asking whats up.. the reply on i want to know where my mail is, and whats the story on my taxes. * * * i don't know why i wasted any time, even feeling anything for you. i don't know if you care about me at all anymore, or if you even did. you had sex with ryan, and tried to start a relationship with him. you had sex with that instructor old guy you met i'm sure - his wife calling me saying you had an affair with him, and i stook around. all you wanted was $ your sms saying you feel like a prostitute - guess what you are. whenever i think of you i miss you, but at the same time, i need to remember all the * * * * you did to me.. you made me not me.
  3. hairybda
    Are you doing ok? I think about you all the time. I have nice thinks happen to me, and your the first person I want to call, and tell. When * * * * happens, I could really use a hug from you... like the last one you gave me when you moved out. I don't want to call you though.. or even think about.. cause you left me for someone else. Anyways I do think about you. Do you think about me?
  4. hairybda
    day 1 for me. actually, it was like day 3, until the 'wife' called me today, wanting to know when she could get her stuff. she has been staying somewhere else, since thur. Wednesday this week, while lying in bed ,she told me she wanted a divorce. i laughed when she told me. this was 1 night before our 5th anniv. we have been growing more and more distant the past couple of months.. never doing anything together, fighting... i tried on times to get reconnected but she never seemed like she wanted to try. thursday/friday totally sucked - i screwed up called her friday, no answer of course. later friday afternoon, i sent her a text message saying did she want to come home this weekend i would go somewhere else. big mistake.. again she had all the power. so since friday, no contact. she calls me this morning, want to know when she can get her stuff.. i told her i don't care. i think she was a bit upset i hadn't called her. she came around with her friend. it was super hard not to want to fight. she did look happier.. she i guess is living with another friend who left her husband like the same week.. i am pretty sure she has another guy so i got a bit nasty at time and asked her how new boyfriend was. i quickly bit my tongue. i had to leave and go to work for a bit, around 6.. i told i was leaving.. she gave me a hug.. it was so nice to feel her.. and said i'll see you later. i havn't felt a hug like that from her, in so long... it actually felt like she meant it. coming home tonight, all her boxes are here.. she has a truck coming to get her stuff tomorrow. funny tonight she said i will be upset later.. i told her no, i was kinda expecting this for a while.. and asked her if she wanted to go for a while... she said yes. Kinda sad. but in time i'll be healed, and will meet someone else. Whats really funny, is this is kinda dejavew. like 5 years ago, he x-gf moved out... i screwed up for a bit and eventually got the no contact thing down pat, and she wanted to get back together. i'm not wishing that could happen.. but its kinda funny seeing her, acting all like she ok..i know her and she was about 10 seconds away from totally bawling. haha if she started i probably would as well. Day 1 is tomorrow.
  5. hairybda
    Hello All, Well, after like a month.. the X wrote. One of her old friends was in town, he came over for dinner this past week. It was a bit upsetting to begin with, but, was great to catch up with him afterwards. We became good friends before I wound up going out with her. Anyways, I gave him some of her mail thats been piling up at my house, and somehow a book on budhism I'm reading found its way via him to her house (We had a bit to much to drink, I may have offfered it). So the X writes me, saying thanks allot for the mail, thanks for the book.. and to have a good time at a yoga conference I am currently at. What do you all think? I wrote her back yesterday, 3 days after she wrote me. I came to the Yoga conference to meet some new friends etc, but wasn't really in the mood to meet anyone. I have just relaxed, spent a pile of money shopping - tomorrow I fly home (we live in the same small town) Most of the upset with what she did to me is gone, and I have seen many beautifull women here this weekend I would love to be in a relationship with. Any advice? I like being single now, but miss the companionship and intimacy a relationship offers. I don't know whether I would like to pursue the X.. or what? Thoughts? I heard a really neat line this past weekend... Every beat of your heart is a gift.. treasure each one! sean
  6. hairybda
    I agree. I got completely dragged through the mud by mine.. I won't even waste the space on it. I havn't spoken to mine in almost 1 month 1 week.. there still isn't a day where I don't think about her, wonder what she's doing.. but, there are hours now where I don't think about her. One of the nicest things now which is starting to happen, is I am starting to see lots of other wonderfull beautifull people around, I am actually happy now things are over. Hang in there, it does get easier.. it just takes time... Hugs Sean
  7. hairybda
    Try not to think about what the other person is thinking; as hard as it is. Just concentrate on yourself.. I am in week #2 of no contact. My ex strung me along for several months.. I finally said enough is enough a couple of weeks ago. Do you guys notice you have up and down days? Part of me misses the other person at times, part of me is glad things are over. Part of me wants to find someone else, and have everything replaced instantly, part of me is scared someone will do what she did to me .... I could ramble on for pages. Another good thing todo, during the no-contact rule, is look at yourself.. and do some self improvement. I for one, bite my nails.. and I have stopped. I might even go for a pedicure this week I have done allot of gardening around the house, re-decorated... gone sailing.. registered for tennis lessons.
  8. hairybda
    The best type of girlfriend, is the best friend type.. I don't know very many happy couples where they didn't start out as friends. Why don't you just become friends with her, and see where it goes? Are you lusting or looking for a relationship? I am shy as well.. and know very few people. It is very hard to meet people.. But, one thing to remember, as nervous or as shy as you feel, most of the time, the other people around you feel the same way.. Nobody is ever going to "fill" a gap, you gotta fill that gap in yourself.
  9. hairybda
    Hi Kamui, Your at least asking girls out.. I am not. I don't even know how.. everyone around me acts like its easy.. i find it nearly impossible. Being single after a long relationship is hard.. its almost a game of chicken! Do you know what your looking for? Whats wrong with becoming friends with these girls? It used to bother me being called a girls "friend", until some of the girl "friends" friends started having feelings for me.. Sean
  10. hairybda
    let me ask another question --- would getting close (if I could) make the feelings i have for the X go away any faster? part of me hurts as the X went and hooked up, and from how she ignores me, i wonder if I could ignore her as much as she does me. comments?
  11. hairybda
    ladies and girls.. tonight, as strong as I am trying to be, is a downer. was out with friends tonight, one of my buddies has a girl.. how she hugs him, she she laughs everything he says. i so miss it. i emailed a girl i was sailing with .. her address has changed. no response back. each day, as strong as I try to be, seems to be harder than the past. i soo, sooo need a hug from someone right now. i soo want to call the X right now.. but i suspect she is over at the new boyfriends house . hugs for everyone who feels like me!
  12. hairybda
    I havn't dated anyone since my GF left me. I don't think guys/girls miss anything different; I think its indiviual persons who miss things differently and as a result handle the missing .. My X, she's slept with 3 guys now apparently. It tears me up inside, but as my pretty new girly roommate says (Who the X couldn't stand), the only reason why women do such things is to make themselves feel better. Remember that! I really miss being touched, having my shoulders rubbed.. sleeping on my stomach having her hand above my but. Ah. I can't wait. Tonight, before the yoga class I goto, I saw this girl I went sailing with about 5 months ago.. she is looking so good. Best off, right before valentines day where I dragged the X to, she was there.. with another girl smiling at me. I remember that moment very clearly.. with the X, she looked terrible .. and this other girl, so pretty, single... I can't wait.. I miss relationships & hanging out! Sorry to ramble!
  13. hairybda
    next friday, for sure i am not doing what i did this past friday. I think they have friday night yoga, happy hour yoga.. I'll find out this week. Still now, I feel like calling her and appoligizing. I can't believe I just wrote that after all the stuff she has done to me. When I spoke to her friend that night, her friend did say, from time to time you have setbacks. I guess this was one!!! Its nice to hear at least one other person did the same thing I did...
  14. hairybda
    Ok - upon the advice of countless others... I finally bucked down, and began the no contact rule... This week, the X dropped off a birthday gift, which of course, started me thinking again.... which I probably shouldn't be thinking about.. Anyways friday comes and goes, I go out with some beers with some friends, and I start hearing things that she's been upto. I got home, at this time, complely furious as to what I hear, and I sent her sms saying i hate friday nights because i can't spend them with her. Then of course, i tried calling her, and she turned her phone off. Next, everything I was told starts churning gears in my head... I wind up calling one of her friends, and ask him about whether the rumour I have heard is true.. that she has been sleeping with another guy. Yeppers.. plus apparently she has slept with 3 guys in the past 2 years. Unbelieveable! And of course, at this point, I'm just exploding in anger! Next I call her best friend, and ask her why she is doing these things.. apparently she is hurting and this is the way she is dealing with it. I am completely screwed in the head! I also left her about 30000 messages on her phone saying oh I guess you've slept with 3 other guys etc... bad! Anyone have any tips for dealing with these thoughts? We are broken up, but finding out what she has been doing.. I can't believe I was even asking.
  15. hairybda
    As I wrote this earlier in the week, lots happened X wrote me saying happy birthday, and she wanted to take me for lunch, which never happened .. she never wrote me. At times, I want to go throttle her by the neck, and say, you know Nicole your really jerking me around. But for the past days, some old friends have been visiting, and... its so nice to have them around.. they just like me for who I am. I've been writing down, day to day, how I feel, its such an illusion, what we feel when we are rejected. All of us, no matter what the circumstances, have people around... Anyways, I have pizzza cooking in the oven (for real I wish!) Sean
  16. hairybda
    Thanks for writing. I'm just turning 29.. I went out with this person for 4+ years, she became my best friend. Never before have I been such a looser! If I saw one of my friends being treated as she has treated me, I'd say something.. its completely crazy. I need to get my head examined for putting up and talking to her.. I have NO idea why I still have these feelings. I wish I could press a kill switch and have them all removed from my head.. Perhaps I don't love myself.. or value myself very highly for putting up with this .. or perhaps its just fear of not ever finding someone thats caused me to hang on to everything.
  17. hairybda
    Hello, Long story made short - X left me back in August. December, after a short stint with another guy, we began hanging out again. Everything was so wonderfull.. the no contact rule works wonders! I really thought everything was going to work itself out... Anyways, about a3 weeks ago, things went south. I found out later she started seeing another guy. From seeing her almost every night, it turned into her never calling me back, and never hearing from her.. This if course completely devastated me.. it brought up all those old feelings. We went to dinner the night before valentines day, and i put my cards on the table with her... she said I can do allot better, she can't give me what I want and I can't give her what she wants blah blah... the girls version of "I have met someone else.. I don't want to hurt you so I won't tell you whats actually happening" A couple of days later I wrote her that I didn't want to come over like we had been doing.. cuddlying.. having dinner etc... she wrote me back what did I have a date or something.. I wrote her back no, but I heard you did .. blah blah blah... I don't understand why you do this, I got over your other "rebound" or whatever (She didn't know I new about him)... I thought we we were now going to get married after everything we have been through. Anyways, she writes back saying sorry, she thought we were working on being friends.. and doesn't know what I'm talking about re other guys. We never had sex, but hugged each other, cuddled.. went out for dinner together.. careessed each other. I didn't think we were working on being friends? Friends don't do that? I wrote her back saying your a great pretty fun girl, but being friends is never going to work.. and I that would marry her now as I really know how much I care for her. Anyways, I havn't spoken to her since.. our paths have crossed a couple of times in the street.. she goes to the other side of the street. There are all these feelings inside me.. I so want to call her, ask her how she's doing.. hang out.. cuddle with her... I so wonder if I did the right thing.. I was so respectfull and patient waiting ... and now this? Worse of all, mondays my birthday.. I so want to hear from her, I hope she'll say something.. but probably won't. I guess I need somewhere to write my feelings down!
  18. hairybda
    Hi Guys, Reading all 17 pages has me in stitches... Its nice to know there are other people in the same boat. It is fascinating what how our minds seem to override what our hearts tell us. I am in the same situation as most of you others... and now she has the ball after I put my cards down on the table friday night. So, we'll see! Sean
  19. hairybda
    Hi Fellow e-not-aloners; Interesting situation I have got myself into. Got a roommate a couple of months ago; who is the most easy going, most fun, most attractiive girl I have ever met. Over the past 3 weeks or so, with holdays, bailys, christmas tree decorating etc, I have had thoughts of her and I in a relationship together. At times, I feel bad about having these thoughts; and I in the mean time have managed to become friends again with the X-girlfriend. I came home for christmas, and the day before I left I left the roommate a nice christmas card saying basically she is a lovely girl who radiates love and will find it shortly. Her history: She moved out from her boyfriend of 3 years about 3 months ago. How do I know whether she likes me and whether I should think of her as a relationship "potential? Friends of mine know her, and tell me her and I look great and would be a beutifull couple? The day I left. I gave her a hug, and it felt soooo good to hug her... yesterday she wrote me a IM saying she is thinking of me. I could really feel the card touched her... she was thinking for a longtime she wasn't attractive and that nobody liked her. I dunno... I can sit tight but at the same time I don't want her to think I am not interesested? Sean
  20. hairybda
    my X left back in august.. even now i still think every day about her. from what i hear, she is hooked up with another guy. i wrote her friday after having a couple of drinks, she wrote me back sunday saying she misses me etc. then today she wrote me back saying i will make a great husband and great father... it sure isn't easy everything ending! all i say is hang in there.... day by day things will get better sooner or later. i am taking a power yoga class, and i think there is a girl in it that likes me.. i am determined to introduce myself tomorrow evening! as per X's getting hooked back up after, i have no idea how. i was thinking yesterday about getting hooked up again, but if i did all i would do is compare the new one to the old one.. so just try to relax.. you will feel better eventually! as the site says, you are not alone!
  21. hairybda
    Hello Friends, Funny thing happened this evening. I am going to a Power yoga class at my X-girlfriends gym; anyways in the past couple of classes a girl has been coming that for the first time in a long time makes my heart flutter! My x who works at this gym, got me a free membership, basically its a spouse membership. Anyways, this evening, when I show up, the girl I like is there at the front desk, talking to the receiptionist.. and then the recipionist makes me sign a couple of new forms as a "spouse"... The girl I like, of course hears, this, and while I am looking at her gently smiles and says "well, I am a non-spouse"... DAMMMMM! I never should have gone along with the X-s scheme to get me a free membership... What do you guys think? In a while, I'll probably try to tell her the situation? We both smiled a tonne at each other... I have the feeling she likes me!
  22. hairybda
    well... things can change this past monday the ex-writes me.. we chat about how we were mean to each other ... blah blah blah.. and how we took each other for granted... blah blah blah.. but we still love each other. monday night she came over, and we talked for hours.. it was so nice. then last night i went to a yoga class with her for the first time.. it was soo nice to see her. now of course, she has gone cold as cucumber again... women i tell you.
  23. hairybda
    vfunkera points are really valid. The best is to go out, hang out, and meet other people. This past week, when I discovered my ex is back with her old boyfriend, I was so pissed off... I wrote another girl who was a potential roommate from a couple of months ago. She responded.. and then I wrote her would she like to go for a walk to get the ex off my mind sometime... the walk turned into lunch. It was really fun.. it was a little strang e at first, but 1.5 hours later I have a new lunch date every wednesday! So try as hard as you can to stop calling, stop emailing, and start getting on with life. It will get better! There are allot of really cool, fun, nice women out there..
  24. hairybda
    I am yet another guy in the same situation as you both. My x-moved out two months ago, and is now back with her ex. I have done the same thing, sent her flowers, send her notes etc. I've asked her if we will ever get back together... It is comforting to see other people in the same situations... As of this past week, I am no longer emailing / phoing my ex.
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