hairybda

You have really messed me up. I hang around another girl and all I do is compare you to here. After all the bad stuff you did and I did I wish you were here. What was between us was really special. I miss you so much

i saw your msg about 'i want too but tooo late you break my heart'. first of all, i am starting to get mad your telling everyone i broke your heart. lets recall, when we moved back, you slept with that guy in the us. you slept with the teacher at your school. you slept with ryan. who knows who else you slept with. i remember sitting in your house in bangkok, and the teacher sent you the txt msg 'looking forward to seeing you'.. and i asked you about it.. this was the same guy, whose wife called me before, saying you and him were having an affair. i don't know why i just didn't get up, and leave... i felt along time ago, you leaving me. i don't know why i stuck around. no wonder i sat around, didn't take care of myself... and drank all the time. you really made me have no good feelings about myself... imagine what it felt seeing you come home run into the shower... or walking home, and seeing you walking with another guy.. right past me into some bar. or hearing that at your birthday party, you didn't want me to go because you had another guy there. everything that happened in the end don't blame on me. i made some mistakes for sure, which i won't repeat. but don't blame it all on me.

i am thinking of you tonight. do you ever think about me... or have you forgotten me ask quick as you found me. i see your website you hugging your new guy you lok happy. i'm happy for you. i love you.

Last night I went and got some take out thai food. They were asking me where what happened with us.. that I broke your heart. I don't know what crap you've told me. I see this morning, your telling people your married to that guy. Thats great. Your not even divorced from me. I hate you. I hate how you stir this upset stuff in me.

its been a while since i have posted here. what a roller coaster i have been on. i wonder how your doing. i've been on a couple of dates. there is easy conversation between me and the dates, but none of them seem as fun at ease as you. last week when you called, and your boyfriend got on the phone.. i wonder who is in control. it was so nice to hear your voice. i hope your taking care of yourself. i miss you so much. i wish i could hug you right now.

4:10 i can't sleep. wondering what your upto. this is driving me nuts.. all week i did great, not thinking about you.. here i am thinking about you all day. i wonder what is going on.

i'm super missing you today. i don't know why. i am missing you so much. i wish you were here. i just looked at some old photos of when we were happy together. i would so much to see you... i want to write you and ask how you are... but when i think about.. whats the point. your with the new boyfriend now. i wonder all the time do you think about me? when you lay in bed with him am i ever on your mind - or he is so much better than me you have totally forgotten me. this really sucks

ha i had met a girl on pof a few days ago.. she wanted a movie.. i got it for her and traded it for a blizzard at dq.. was kinda goofy.. but chatting with her tonight, frig there are lots of normal girls out there.... i thought about you of course, but funny enough when i was with the other girl.. i didn't think about you at all.... was kinda fun imagining what she would look like with no clothes on.

i was over at a friends house tonight.. its so sad to see couples that have been together for along time. i wanted our relationship to be like one of theres but now i know about the cheating, the lies.. using me as an atm.. part of me wants to forgive you, and try to chase after you.. but whats the point.. you treated me not really well. i have been thinking over the past couple of weeks.. maybe i should have bought you more stuff.. to make you feel love. but how screwed up is that.. nov/dec were some of the worst days of my life, and you were not there for me.. you didn't support me... you never said anything to help me feel stronger you just complained that all i care about is money. being married isn't just about caring if there is money on the table .. there are so many times bad stuff happened to you, i defended you, took care of you.. took your side... how many times in my life have i really neded you.. and you were not there? maybe thats the real reason i didn't ever do anytihng for you.. you said all the time i changed.. the only constant in the unverse of change. i started to take you for granted, and you took me for granted. anyways i hope one day we can chat about this.. its eating me up inside. i'm trying to move on like you have.. but its hard.. sometimes i think seeing you would pick me up help me feel better.. but i imagine the instant i saw you i would just want to fight with you.

its 12:20 AM.. i can't sleep. i am thinking about you. how was your day... did you fight with your boyfriend? did you think about me today? when your with him, do you think about me? do you see stuff that reminds you of me? i felt week just now, and read over some old stuff we emailed each other. i don't really know what happened between us in the end. i wish we could go back 6 months.. but then again i realize now you were having sex with another guy then also. you've so twisted my heart around.. saying you loved me.. but you were with all these other guys. i don't get it... i want to email you and ask you, why did you do all this i don't understand.. its hard for me to let go of you.. you started so long ago your so far ahead... i don't understand everything. its like there were 2 trains in the station, and you left along time ago.. and i fell asleep.. and woke up your not there, and no explanation. the other thing that bugs me.. we were together 6 years... why couldn't you just tell me the truth, instead of lieing to me about you moving in with mody.. that really bugs me. i

funny i see you changed your facebook picture. i wonder why. i wonder what your feeling. are you thinking about me? i thoought about you all day of course but it is getting better. i still havn't found any place to move to. i wish you were here, to help.. its going to be tough not having you around this time. i am slowly starting todo all the house work. i regret not giving you more for doing this.. it is allot of work. i miss you.

missing you allot today. i dunno why. i see all these couples holding hands, watch how the girls interact with the guy.. i miss it. i remember back when we had that.. i wonder what your doing. i wish i could call to say hi, whats happening.. but your at work with your boyfriend.

wake up this morning, missing you. i wish you were here.

Funny I am sitting In the airport there is a couple sitting next to me with 2 new babies and they are fighting....funny I wonder if we had been sucessfull in getting you pregnant how would we have done.... Some new friends Korean and canadian have a little girl that is the cutesy ever.... Last week when we were all out for lunch the Korean girl says I am next. It's interesting breaking up... I remember I wanted to have a baby with Nicole but she never wanted to with me cause of a bunch of reasons... But in the end she said I would be a great father.. I feel so bad for this couple fight fight fight frig I don't think we ever fought so much

as an old girlfriend told me.. you never get over someone until you meet someone else..

hey time is ticking by... and i got a number from a super hot girl tonight... to call her next week cause i make her laugh. haha. its such a nice feeling.... screw you so much... with everything you programmed into me.. nobody would ever find me atttractive.. and now a super hot girl wants me to call her!!!! i am not over you.... but i can say.. its nice to have another girl wanting to meet up with me... its a soft tug over the big tug you have left in me.. maybe she sees what you nver saw... looser!

i woke up early this morning, thinking of you as usual. wondering seemingly what your upto.. did you have a good day yesterday? are you happy? are you happy with what you have now? i went for a run again this morning. today was tough.. i'll go for another one tomorrow before i head out of town to have fun in van. i remember last easter we went upto the mountains, and spent the time in .... and then drove back. you started to fight with me the last day... i wonder do you fight with your new guy? or is he perfect. your friend posted a reply to me having a date on facebook this week.. asking was it a t*ai girl.. funny. your friends are so nice your such a mean you know what. i'd like to call you right now, and ask you what your doing. but whats the point.. you'll be tired cause you worked at the rest 500000 hours this week... it kind of bugs me you never call/email/etc me to see how i'm doing.. i guess you've completely forgotten about me. i was thinking about 2 christmas ago,when i suspected you were cheating.. and told you then, if i ever find out you cheat, we are finished right here and there.. and i recall your friend telling me, all the guys you cheated with me on even this past summer. i don't understand you. i can do so much better than you.. i don't know why i miss someone, who has treated me and disrespected me so much.. you at times make me feel awfull about myself.. you blaming me for all the problems we had in our relationship.. when in fact now, looking back.. i think you were trying to get out. anyways, whats the point in writing to you... you've moved on.

i wonder what your doing for easter. have you been thinking about me at all? or are all your thoughts/feelings/plans revolving around your new love. more of our friends are asking us.. are we done.

so... another week.. no contact. funny. my running program is going great.. this morinng, i woke up, missing you as usuall.. i hauled myself out of bed, put my runners on.. my clothes... and went for 30 mn. by the end of the run, you were out of my mind.. all i could feel is my legs hurting, the sweat on my back, and good. showering this morning, my legs and arms are getting bigger. funny.. you don't know what your missing. sitting my posture feels better. when i walk around, i feel better. for so long, you didn't like to ever do anything but sit around, cook for your friends.. and do nothing. i am happy you left now.. i am actually getting off the couch and doing stuff. haha. i went on a date last night. the girl didn't do anything for me, but it was actually kind of entertaining.. being married to you for 6 years, its totally calmed me down about nervous with other girls. other girls likely won't cheat, and won't wind up treating me like you... so chicklet.. to bad you left! mr sean is looking great and feeling great... i wonder how long before you call whining about the problems in your life.. it feels great to be free!!!

its 3:30 am.. i just woke up.. and of course i am thinking about you. i wonder what your thinking. did you think about me today?

i see on msn, you've changed your name, to your new BF last name. weird. i we were together 6 years, and in matter of weeks, you have made him your new love, and changed your names. i don't know whether to believe your happy, or your just trying to make people think your happy. its 4 am, i can't sleep and i am thinking about you. if you were here, i would go wake you up.. and we would chat. i miss this. i wonder after 6 years, do you still think about me? i think about you all the time. i know you are with another guy now... i wonder what you chat about.. if your chatting with him, and you see something you and i used to laugh about.. do you bring it up? when you drive down the road.. do you still look for audis? haha i do still.

funny the thoughts i have about you during the day. i wonder if you think the same about me... i was reading online today, about rebound relationships.. how people typically replace the feelings they had for one person with another. i don't know if your in a rebound or what. pokky told me you were infatuated with the guy, and your msn other day where you said your a weak woman.. who knows. i wonder if your guy is changing your * * * * on facebook... so funny seeing your photo. your in the clothes i bought you, with the glasses i bought you.. taking the picture with my camera, and using the laptop i bought you. in 1.5 months.. hasn't your bozo guy got you anything? i also saw some stuff, about how your employees in your rest are not getting paid, and your BF is writing people back. funny.. he really must trust you.

haha so funny i have one message from you, saying i look super good.. and then you change all the * * * * on your facebook, to the other guy. who is in control i hope your ok

funny seeing you change your relationship status on facebook, and you putting the photo up with your new gyu. your married to me for 5 years, then suddenly, in 1 month, are in a relationship with another guy? this looks super bad in my opinion.. your so screwed up its hilarious.

day 1 of the new no contact scheme. i am stressed. seeing the photos of you, and your new boyfriend, really really really made me sad. until this, i kind of thought maybe we would be together again. seeing you and him, in your new sunglasses, and what looks like new coat... super sad. last night, i couldn't stop thinking about you, and didn't sleep well at all. i think i fell asleep at 4 am. today at the dentist office, i found i am grinding my teeth... from stress. the sores on my face, are likely herpes.. that i got from you. i have them apparently because of stress. i really miss you. i wish you were here, to hug... to kiss.