Eh Im Canadian

Ahh, oh well, I posted it and I saw the ones I missed, sorry about that enotalone. Oh well, its getting deleted, if you want to read it just go to link removed

Ok, I am going to copy this thing that you should read, just in case you didn't even though I asked you too. I'm sorry enotalone, it has a lot of swear words in it, so there are going to be A LOT of *beep*s. Please don't get really mad at me for swearing or kick me off, I'll try to get rid of them, but I know I won't find them all. Ah, a *beep* *beep* quandary. You know what she looks like, you know where she tends to hang out. You know who she is, yet you don't know her. Maybe you've run into her a few times, exchanged quick sentences, and said something stupid like "Well, talk to you later," and proceeded to smash your head into a wall. We all have. Don't worry, you can recover and get your act together. In fact, this can actually be a really good way to start a relationship. Since you don't know each other, you start off with a clean slate. Furthermore, you have no worries of screwing up a friendship, since none exists. Note that when this type of relationship breaks up it's nearly impossible to end up as friends. Honestly, it's nearly impossible in general, but this type of relationship having no basis in friendship to begin with makes it even harder. Think of it like starting a car in 5th gear and trying to go down into 1st - it ain't gonna happen without the transmission going bonkers. You need to find out a way to contact her. Turn on your bloodhound skills and pick her scent up, man. Look her up in facebooks, phonebooks, anything. Some might call this stalking, but we call this planning. You should too. Talk to friends you can trust (be sure that they aren't going to rat you out to her for stalki- erm planning) and see if they know anything. Try to be vague while still finding out information you want if possible. If a girl later finds out you were racking up information on her it's going to come off as kinda creepy (even though it's generally what we all do, is pretty understandable, and probably even justifiable: you don't know her, so you instinctively want some details). If you see her interacting with people you know, they are the ones you need to be going to. And for God's sake, don't tell many people about your crush. That's a sure way to get the news leaked back to her and start up stupid games. You want to be able to get the drop on her without her seeing it coming in time to learn about you and decide about you before you even get a chance to ask her out or even talk to her. So avoid leaking information and don't use middlemen (or middlewomen) to go between the two of you to feel the situation out. Be a man, damn it. Can you get her phone number? Do you tend to find that you run into her at certain times (suggestive of synchronized schedules) or anything of that sort? Get on going to page 8 if you have a way to get in touch with her that you feel comfortable with. Note that the phone is always best in that it's sure and more personal and guarantees a response. Email is easy to ignore or not even receive, so try to avoid that if possible. It may be that you just cannot get a way to contact her, or perhaps you are worried of looking too over-planned (read: stalker-alert!). You should certainly be careful about having a reasonably straightforward (and justifiable) explanation for how you get her personal info if she doesn't know you. You don't want to look sketchy. 8. Doing The Deed (With Planning) If you are at this step, you're probably in the best position you can be in. You have a way of getting in touch with the girl (hopefully her number, we'll assume for now) and you are set. The best time to call is afternoon (think 4-ish) or evening (think 9:30-ish). The afternoon is a better bet. Avoid mealtimes, as she's probably eating (duh). Here is your goal: smalltalk a bit, ask to meet for lunch or coffee at some time, preferably the weekend but the week is also okay if you are cool with it (and she is too), a nice closure, hang up. Try for the weekend first. Lunch and coffee are great to meet for because they involve very little commitment and are hard to turn down. Parties don't go on at noon, you know? They mocked going out for coffee in Good Will Hunting, but you aren't Matt Damon and your life isn't a movie so forget that and keep coffee in mind (though lunch is my personal favorite - a little more time, and easily extendable if it's going well). Here is a good method of attack. Get her number in front of you. Put it down. Figure out a time you have available and a good place to meet. Piss. Go back to your room and sit for a second, then pick up the phone and dial her number as quickly as possible. Once you've dialed, you're essentially committed. The dialing is really the hardest part. Everything sort of flows after that. When someone answers, ask for her. If you are asked to identify yourself, do so. Do not leave a message if you get her tape. Do not leave a message with a person if she isn't home. Do not identify yourself if she isn't home. Say politely that you will call back, thank them, and hang up immediately. Once she is finally on the line, chat her up - how is she? How was her weekend/weekday/whatever? How are classes? Talk about whatever briefly. Smalltalk tactics are yet another set of skills that come best with practice. If you can smalltalk with strangers in public places and just make some chatter about bull*beep* and put people at ease, you have a valuable skill in general. So work on that. We can teach you how. If you know her, talk about whatever it is that you both share in common. If you do not know her but you have run into each other before, familiarize her with how she might remember you (don't worry if she doesn't - it happens). Try to find a nice transition (it usually doesn't happen, but see if you can) into asking to meet for lunch. Have plans for a time and place, the worst is when you have to be like "Duh, I don't know" if she accepts and then asks when and where and you are a stupid clod who hasn't thought that out. Girls hate that *beep*. Get your damn act together. Then just ask her. Something like, "Hey, I've been wondering if you'd be interested in meeting sometime this weekend for lunch/to grab a cup of coffee." Don't take a million years cutting to the chase either. Girls know what you are up to when you start hemming and hawing. If she's been vibing you back, she probably has been awaiting this call, so just ask her, damn it. Actually, ask her quickly, period. Get it over with within 5-10 minutes of talking. Anything more is going to be super sketchy ("What a great conversation we had - oh by the way, I like you!"). If she is a friend you might need to be a little specific like "if I could take you out to lunch" or something along those lines, just so she gets the clue that this isn't just a friendly little offer. If she says yes, be happy but don't be like "Oh my God, really?" Enthusiasm without gushiness is the best tone to have. Make sure you have her address so you can pick her up if you have agreed on that - if it's just a meeting that won't be necessary until later. Close the conversation nicely with a "Great, I look forward to seeing you then," and make sure she has your number. You may want to have a "confirm" day to make sure both of you can still swing the date if it's a little ways away. In any callback situation, it's generally best for you to be the one doing the callback since that way you are the one in the driver's seat - instead of waiting for her to call and wondering if she will, etc. Now pat yourself on the back. You're a success. If she says no, be polite. Girls have many annoying ways of saying no. They are masters of indirectly saying no but meaning no with what they say. For some reason they think it is better to be indirect and that we'll figure it out and not be as hurt as if they were upfront (which is, of course, wrong - women take note). We, as guys, are then put in the position of analyzing if it was really a polite diss or the honest to gosh truth. The most popular of these problematic responses is the "now is not a good time." Do not confuse this with the "now is not a good time, but [time] would be," which is a moderate yes in disguise. If a girl is unwilling to give you a "raincheck" that's [almost always] a bad sign. This is not to say that you can't try one or two more times, but if you keep getting the same line, read the vibes. Looking past your ego is one thing. Taking several wet, splotchy *beeps* on it is quite another. Don't do the latter. She may also "have a boyfriend," "not have time," or just plain "not be interested." The latter is brutal but definite; most men prefer a girl to put the bullet right in the offer and let 'em get going to another option if she isn't interested. It avoids games (games suck). If so, tell her you understand, no problem, and quickly bring the conversation to a close. You may drop her your number and tell her to call you if you particularly like her and want to give a standing offer. You have no reason to talk to her anymore at this point. Hang up the phone and tell yourself she's a dirty *beep* and picture her naked. Tell all your friends what a stuck up *beep* she is and have them console you. Then move on within a few days and try someone else. Email is a little more flexible. Don't mail her at 3AM or something stupid like that (what does it look like if you are thinking about her at 3AM?). Other than that, say the same *beep* you'd say in a conversation. Identify yourself, say a few meaningless but polite sentences, and then get to the asking out. This is more risky in that she might not read her email or she might read it but pretend not to have read yours (oops). Asking her out in person is about the same as the conversation you'd have on the phone. It's just more nervy and direct (you can see her facial reaction, it's completely immediate, etc.). This means you can also read more vibes from her as to what she's thinking, so do that. This will also be harder for you as a given (it goes both ways) so you should probably stick to the phone until you've really gotten your act together in terms of asking people out in general. An in-person ask-out is also something that is slightly less planned since it typically comes up more in the scheme of a conversation. Try to toss it in as the conversation is coming to a close, particularly if you've been flirting a lot. Ok thats it, listen to some of it, it is really helpful. Unless of course, you've already done the deed, in that case, I hope all goes well

I had kind of a tough time reading your reply, can you please retype it up? I kind of understood the part about keeping in contact, but that was it.

Hey, you guys are being so negative. Maybe it is against her religion, or maybe her parents told her she couldn't have a boyfriend? Ever think about that? How about you tell us the specifics of what happened, and we can help you out a little more. While what azure and sprkal say could be true, there are an infinite amount of possibilities of what it could be. Maybe she has some unfortunate circumstances, and she has to wait until she can go out with you? Maybe she likes you, but not in a romantic way. It is all your choice about what to do, but hey, you liked her, so wheres the harm in not trying a little more? Ask her about why she rejected you, maybe there you'll find your answer.

What do you gain from being scared? Absolutely nothing that you want? Tell me if thats not true, but I think it is. If you are so nervous, maybe you aren't really ok with doing it and you should stop. That has a relatively low probability however, it is probably you just being afraid. Now if you can find out what you are afraid of, then I can help you overcome that fear. Hope you find hwat you are looking for.

I have a feeling there is a possibility of love now. You both care about each other, and love each others company. Maybe there isn't romantic love, but there most definitely is , I don't know what to call it, "love" love? And what you two may have going on is the best kind of love in my opinion. I don't have very many specifics, so i can't tell exactly, but regardless of that, just take it as far you want to go. Have fun!

I'd have to say it is because most younger guys are really stupid about being nice to women, and older men who have more experience appear more attractive. That's just what I think, I could be and most likely am wrong.

Dead Eyes, you can always do something. You are never really helpless. You will always have a choice in the matter, and I am sad to see that you have chosen the Path of Wussieness. Just like the only product of hate is more hate, the only product of wussieness is more wussieness. Unless you change and break the cycle, you will never become who you want to be.Its like depression only so .... wussy! Sorry I am being kind of mean. What you really need to do is build your self-esteem, and I am definitely not helping with that. You have to feel good about yourself. How will you know if the letter was a mistake if you never ask her about it? I made a mistake like this one a long time ago, and I am still paying for it with guilt. What could have happened didn't, and that makes me very sad. Whats kind of ironic is that you are moving away from a year, and it has been exactly one year since my big screw up! So it has taken me an entire year to cast off my chains of stupidity and decide to do the right thing. That was a bad metaphor, but you know what I mean. So don't do what I did. You would have to live with the thought of what might have been if you had only done something different. Ahh, now because Caldus has said my new ending phrase I have to think up something different. How 'bout, "Hope you make the right decision?".

Well the question still lies unanswered. Toggle, are you with us? We are worried about you, come on. SAY SOMETHING. I don't care if all you do is swear at us, just say something so we know your still there.

Hey, whats the difference between loving someone and being "in love". They are both the same thing. I guess being "in love" is not really love, but more like extreme infatuation. I personally wouldn't marry him, seeing as I am a guy, but hey if we were in San francisco... just kiddding. He sounds like a great person. If you care about him more than anything else, I would say GO FOR IT. Definitely do not marry him for his money. That is a really bad idea, which never turns out happy. It is all your choice, I shouldn't have any influence on what you decide. I should only remind you of how you feel. You don't need advice on this. If you love him, then you are a very lucky person. You have to think about what you want. I hope you find what you are looking for, and best of luck.

Well, It all depends on how far away you are moving? Is it to a different country? Do you actually love this girl? Those are the things that matter. You are absolutely right I didn't read the part about you moving. Are you just trying to go for a summer fling or something? I guess that just seems kind of selfsih to me. But then again, if you truly love her, then there is no barrier that can get in your way. Of course you can't really love her yet because you don't even know her. So go up to her and talk to her. Maybe you will like each other? Hey whats the worst thing that could happen? Well besides being slapped and rejected? Just kidding. If this girl is mature even the slightest bit, then she will probably talk to you, despite the fact that she might think you are kind of weird. Hey you still could talk to her over the internet if you wanted to. The possibilities are endless. But in order for anything to happen, you have to go and do it.

Well first of all, she likes you. That is a key thing to remember. My guess is she is playing mind games with you. Under what circumstances were you rejected? Remember, there hundreds of reasons why a girl might reject you, but only one of them is because she doesn't like you. You probably would stop contacting her, because you think she doesn't liek you at all. Be good friends with her, and hey, sometime in the near future, you may go out on a date!

Ok well, just listen to me. go to getschooled and see what they say about stalking. I'm serious, they have the coolest guide I have evr seen. And no offense to you, but it sounds like you are being a wuss. Girls are people just like guys are. I read your original post from the link you had, but not the 19 other pages, so if you said something different in there I am sorry. Your letter probably di freak her out a little, but then again, she may have thought it was cute. Just treat her how you would treat another person. Remember it isn't stalking, its just gathering information. I am gonna give you the exact link to look at it applies to you I think. link removed Ok Good Luck.

there is an alternative that you could try. It might seem really stupid, and it probably is, but you could go up to her door with a rose and give it to her! I know, I know it isn't a very good idea, but when you are out of options, theres always that one left! Also, whats wrong with calling someone up from the student directory? I do that all the time! Well, try something at least, it is all up to you. Don't just keep wussing out over the summer. Go to this site: link removed and go to the love / relationships part. Go to the wusses guide part. It is the best advice I have ever found for this type of thing. Good Luck.

Well, it mostly sounds like you feel abandoned in the world right now. The biggest lesson you can learn in life is that life isn't fair, and the only way to make things more fair is to do it yourself. Sounds like your therapist is a well, rectal itch? Theres a good word that won't get censored! Telling people to "just change" doesn't work very well most of the time, You have to tell them hwo to change or what to change into. People won't always meet you halfway even if they expect you to do it to them. You should try to see if you can do your part to make life fair, so other people might start to follow by example. Hope you find what you are looking for.

Actually it isn't illegal, at least if he lives in california. When you go to school in california, the school assumes the same authority as a legal guardian. So it would be like saying it is illegal to have your parents make you cut your hair. Plus, since we haven't been emancipated if you are under 18, we don't have very many rights at all. Children are possesions until they turn 18. Well, this is the law in california, and it could be the same in other states, I have no idea. Since your question is whether it was discrimination, it most certainly is, but of whether it is illegal or not is up to question. Before you have him do anything drastic, remember, the school can do anything to your grades it wants, regardless of whteher you earned them or not. So he could be in more trouble than you thought if he starts a "revolution" because of sexual discrimination. It is an (expletive deleted)ing stupid rule, but thats how the USA school system works. Sorry.

Thank you, yeah these are all of my favorite quotes. Lets see, they are from Lord of the rings (gandalf) Nick the bartender from some movie Mark Twain Just in case you wanted to know.

Just so you know under_the_pressure, regardless of how small a guys penis is, if you have sex with him, you still lost your virginity.

I don't know any ways other than make-up to hide those scars / blemishes. I don't think anyone will care, unless you do a really bad job of it. Then they might notice, but if it doesn't look like you are wearing make-up, then no one will even think twice about it. Thats about all that I know on this subject, there is a guy at my school who uses make-up for the same reason, and the only reason I notice is because sometimes it smudged in the morning. Hope you find what you are looking for.

Love is when you care about someone more than anything else, and you know that the feeling is mutual.

Also, have you ever seen those movies where the two kids with braces are kissing, and then their braces get locked? I have actually seen this happen, and it is pretty funny. However, if you are the one whose braces are locked, I don't think you are capable of laughing. You can end up with hundreds of dolalrs worth of dental work if they snap, so it is risky. I guess it is comparable with zipping up your pants and having it get caught on a table cloth someones shirt.

Just try to be friends with guys that you see. It doesn't matter what they think, just be nice to them. I don't know anybody that does this other than myself, but I have a feeling it will wor for others took. Maybe some people will ook at you strangely, maybe some will be nice right back, it all depends on their personality. If you act how you normally act, then you will attract someone who has a similar personality. So if you want someone who is friendly, then you know what you have to do. It is best to not change your personality for other people, it doesn't work out in the long run. So don't change who you are, just be yourself. Yeah thats sounds kind of corny, sorry. I am a lot younger than you, and I am still in school, but I have tried this and it worked for me. I guess I wasn't going for boyfriend / girlfriend relationships, so it might not work out. But hey it's worth a shot. Whats the worst thing that can happen? People can think you are a psycho and call you nasty names behind your back. But that could happen to anyone regardless of whether they are nice or not! Oh and no offense to you, but saying "had a vasectomy behind my back" sounds really funny. The image that comes to mind just made me laugh. Good Luck, hope you find what you are looking for.

Yeah you should listen to psipro. Sex isn't okay unless you are okay with it. You can be coerced into thinking its okay by doing it a lot, or by being told that it's ok by other people. You should probably stop, seeing as you feel uncomfortable about it. Good Luck.

Well for me it is 1. 10 (fifth grade) 2. 14 (over summer, so no real grade) 3. 14 (same summer) 4. and I still retain my virginity, I feel special I don't think that there are too many people at eNotAlone that aren't virgins, I just think that you remember it because they say they aren't. You would probably notice the difference if everybody said "hey guess what I'm a virgin" as their signature, but changed it when they weren't.

Well, you haven't given us very many specifics other than the person you are attempting to ask out is female. The first thing to realize is that human beings are impressed with confidence, as as girls are human, having your friend ask one out for you is a bad idea. Call her up saying you would like to do something, (have a plan) and then if she says yes, voila! a date! Don't say "I was wondering if you want to do 'something'" that is not a good idea. Have an idea of what you want to do, and always be completely calm when you are talking to her. Ok, thats all i have to say for now, if you need any more help, go to link removed. They have a great guide for dating, Good Luck.