pregnantkitty_1985

Heh, some stuff people have said/can say/do say creeps me out just a bit. It's too over-the-top/porn-esque. And porn's fake, well it's not fake, they're actually having sex but, they're faking all the screaming and yelling stuff, so it's kind of gross when someone starts talking like they're a porn star. Urgh.

You did it out of revenge and retribution, that's why. You were hurt over what he did so you decided he should feel how you felt. Simple as that.

At least you stand up for yourselves which says a lot. You can't control her reactions. And that's a good man to have. No one wants a weak one who lets his mother push him around. I've been there, done that. Too many men are still, stuck to the shall we saaaaaay. It's admirable that you would put aside your difference for the sake of your son. So whether she causes trouble or not, at least you can say you tried. I'd try my best to avoid her and let your son and her bond, if that's even possible. Couldn't hurt to try. However I'm guessing she is, as you say, "too old and set in her ways." Someone who's been harbouring such hate for other people for so long aren't likely to have a life-changing relevation after one conversation. Not to sound pessismistic but good luck. And in regards to the rest of your post; sometimes in life we will encounter people who, no matter how hard we try, no matter how nice we are, will dislike us. Seems this is the case with your mother-in-law. And it's clearly not you, it's her, as she's alienated her entire family. I wouldn't be too worried, unless she starts behaving this way toward your son. Hmm hope you come back and update 'cause I'm curious to see how all of this turns out.

Again, it's good to see someone so young who already has moral boundaries and questions whether certain ethical issues are right or wrong.

Well, I just googled it, and it's legal in Australia, but I'd still say a bit unethical being that he's well, 31. Far too old in my opinion to be dating a 17 year old. There's plenty of women in their 20's and 30's for that matter. Why would he want a teen? Being that it's legal though, there's nothing much you could do. Your parents would have a say though, if she's living under their roof.

Liza, what country do you live in? If you're in the USA, what state? (Don't give out the exact location, just the state!) I could look up the law of consent for you, wherever you live. This is possibly illegal. If not technically illegal, it's still unmoralistic in my mind. It's very mature of you to be concerned. You should be proud of yourself.

Probably; some girls around our age can be quite malicious. They still have what I call that "high school mentality." I'm curious about the counseling; did he readily agree to go? What sort of things do you discuss in counseling? Do you feel it's making a progress any, at all? Just wondering, because I've wondered if my fiance and I should go to counseling to work through our issues. The fact that he is making an effort to go to counseling with you is a good sign, I feel.

Then what was it about then? And girl I don't blame you for reacting as you do now. I've had the same done to me and still wouldn't understand their motives as to why. As far as I see it, any excuse is just that; an excuse. It's unacceptable behavior in my eyes.

I don't know, I think for the most part you are right. But I think some people won't be tempted. I know I wouldn't. Because if I'm with someone I love and care about, no one else would even be a fleeting thought let alone a temptation. So I don't find it entirely unreasonable for me to want at least one significant other who is satisfied with one and doesn't even entertain the thought of another. I do believe it's possible, because I'm that sort of person myself, the sort who would never entertain the idea of another.

Well, it's not the sex that makes me stay. A relationship is much more than sex. I'm not very much into casual flings, I can end up getting attached despite not wanting to.

Your story is inspirational for me and I've filed it away in my mind. Thank you for sharing. I think no matter how it plays out, I will learn a valuable lesson. Maybe that's what this is. Maybe I'm meant to learn a valuable lesson at a young age so I don't make the same mistakes later.

1) I would love, love, love to be a writer. A writer of not only fiction but nonfiction too. I would also like to study criminalistic minds and write studies on them. I'd also like to be a pillar of the community, one who fights for important rights. And I want to be a mother, of two children, watching them grow, giving them the love and attention that I never received as a child. 2) My specifications would be as follows: Morals & integrity HONESTY!!!! No desire whatsoever to cheat Strong character, is not easily influenced by others, particularly others who are not positive people to be around No psychosis or emotional/mood disorders whatsoever Not controlling, manipulative Someone who's made mistakes like all humans but owns up to them, as well as repented somehow. Not someone with a really shady & bad history, and that brings me to my next specification: Someone who never has even thought to go there with young underage girls

Though it's complex, I know that's a part of it. I've probably said this a million times in my previous posts and I don't mean to sound like a whiner, but my parents never made me feel loved. Neither my father or mother. My mom is the most emotionally distant & selfish person you'll ever meet. My dad was abusive and remains absent in my life now. (Lives in the very county I do, but won't return my calls and such. He will then make excuses if I ever see him anywhere in public and say he's been "so busy." Stuff like that.) Both would choose their significant others over their kids any day. It is reality, and I've resigned myself to that fact. However, I do see in myself that I look for that 'love' and 'attention' elsewhere, as in romantic relationships for one, and I've also been very close with older adults. I thought about it and realized these people fill up a void and represent the parental figures I lack. In a personal romantic relationship, a man's love fills the void that my father has left. And I guess I'd rather have that than nothing at all. I don't want to be someone's * * * * *, I don't want to be used just for sex and this sort of thing happens, I'm sure everyone's experienced that in their life before. So when someone does come along that is intent on being with you and later loves you, it's hard to not cling and it's hard to let them go because you never know if you'll find someone else that will love you again "like they do." You'll find many a man who will want to be with you for your goods, but not because of love. (Not to stereotype, this can happen with roles reversed too.) So you're definitely on to something, Caro. There are other reasons too, that are more complex, and which I've not fully sorted out yet. I would say we are similar in both regards then. I would say I've often felt 'unwanted', by my parents, so when I became older and people started wanting me, well.. I have made some wrong relationship choices as a result. Yep I definitely remember your story, because I have kept it in mind. When me and the significant other are fighting, I think of what happened between you and that guy, because it's inspiration of sorts, inspiration to leave. But then, I can't. Yes, I don't want to be alone. I know intellectually that there could be someone out there better, but I fear that most will be all about one thing, sex, and will be cheating on me behind my back anyway. I'm afraid they won't want to comply with some of the standards I have set, and will find me to be ridiculous for asking them to do so. (Some standards I impose is that I don't like men I date to have porn and blatantly check out other women and etc.) My current guy conformed to that, and no questions asked, and no complaining either. I know that's nothing compared to the fact that he broke my number one rule, though. Which is 'no cheating. No hitting on other females.' Which he did. Even though he claims again and again "he never would have done anything with her, it was only because he felt like he might be called a p-ssy if he didn't do what his friend said." So it's rather twisted in some ways, though I know he did what he did, there's other things he's done in compliance with my standards that I don't know if other guys would do, just to be with me. And I'm worried that a lot of other guys will be about sex only, and will cheat on me behind my back. Too many have pretended to have romantic feelings when all they wanted to do was have sex. So I'm worried. Why ? Because it's been done so many times before! I have yet to find a good decent guy. The only completely decent and moralistic guy I was ever with moved back to his place of birth after 12th grade ended. Not that a high school relationship would have ended up lasting anyway. Thank you for having concern and feeling we bonded, it is comforting to hear in this stressful time. You're right, where is his integrity? I question this daily. I would love to study and just do all sorts of things... right now I'm currently involved in a movement, a movement to help catch predators who are trying to sexually exploit children and minors... something I feel very strongly about and it makes me feel worthy when I'm helping in this way.. Plus in a way it assuages my guilt, for being so nasty towards that 14 year old when she was the one who was being exploited. I was completely wrong. I want to get back into studying.. I would love to travel, just not sure that I have the means to do so right now. But with a little time and effort, I could definitely do so. In fact, my friend is moving to Texas this May. She invited me to come along to get me away from this situation. Now, I've never had any particular desire to visit Texas but the area she's moving to is filled with opportunities. I can re-enroll in a university... and do all sorts of things. Oh P.S.- I remember you said you were getting married, judging by you calling him your husband this has happened? Congratulations!! I hope your day was magical.

Mine roars for a long moment at the end, like a beast. And during, sometimes says, "Who's is it? Who's is IT? You like that don't you!" And I'm just like, "oh god. Please be quiet."

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh, oh god.

I..... just spit out my drink.

Heh, freaaaak. I mean that in a good way, take no offense.

Of course, it just depends on whether one would feel bad about it or not. Some may not.

Hmm Beec has a good point, the kinky stuff could actually be new tricks he learned from the porn. It's just odd to me that he's hiding it however, when you seem like the type of wife any man would want, wearing laungerie and high heels and going to strip clubs and watching porn with him! It doesn't make sense to me, why he'd hide it... unless of course, when you two watch porn together you end up having sex, and when he watches it alone he can get off quickly sometimes without having to take the effort to get someone else off too. Still not quite sure why he'd go to the trouble of hiding stuff, though... Wonder who got him that portable DVD player?? But yes like I said, being even kinkier can be a sign of cheating at times. Because they're learning new tricks and are eager to show it off. It's like flaunting it under your nose, basically.

Well, all of that stuff are possible signs of cheating. The constant lying to you. The secrecy. Being kinkier in bed I read is also a sign, because they're learning new tricks with someone else. Buying you gifts is a sign he feels guilty about something.. (if he is indeed cheating. If not, I guess he's just being nice.) The

See? Coming from a man himself. This was my point exactly.

I mean, honestly? I've been to a strip club before with some of my female friends, because I'd never been and thought it would be interesting. I didn't particularly want to see naked girls dance, as I'm straight, but I figured hey, it'd be interesting. I wouldn't call it dirty exactly, some of the strippers were really nice girls and chatted with us on their breaks. One had been left by her boyfriend and was trying to support her son. She wasn't skanky looking actually, she was actually beautiful and she was really nice too. She expressed though how it was so much easier talking to us girls than having to fake it with the guys. I found it a little dirty, the men leering and jeering and ogling them, to be quite frank. Not the strippers themselves, but the men's reactions. It might still be fun and adventurous, but I guarantee yes it's partly about seeing other girls dance naked.

Heeh, you've got some confidence in you. I admire it. I would just die if I saw my man getting turned on by sexy naked women, I'd just diiiiiiiieee.

Girl, that's what is going to happen though. I'm not sure how it's supposed to be for "us" as he expressed wanting to go so he could see naked girls shake their stuff in your lap. That means he definitely A) wants to gawk B) is going to gawk and C) wants to see strippers and is bringing you along so you don't feel insulted that he went behind your back. Now I'm not trying too hard to influence you towards my opinion or anything, as this is a personal decision, that only you can make, but if you would feel bad about it in any way, and you would feel hurt/insulted/insecure by him checking out the other girls (which he will), then perhaps you should refrain from going. You'll end up having a horrible time rather than a good one.