pregnantkitty_1985

That's cool Shoebaby, but he's still going to be looking. And gawking. And getting horny. And fantasizing.

Yeah, great sex because he's all riled up and horny over other women. Now of course, this may be fine for others, and so be it. But again, personally I admit I would not like this. I guess it's up to everyone's individual feelings on the matter.

Actually I'm completely wrong, I never even replied to your post, but I did read it. In fact I was going to reply to your post and was planning to last night when the internet disconnected, and I just ended up going to bed. But that's what I would have told you had I replied.

Jesus. I don't know if a marriage can survive a hurt like this, in fact you might be better off leaving her for your own good. I understand though, how hard that would be. I understand all too well. I remember your other post, in fact I warned you to watch out for her. Turns out my suspicions were correct. I'm sorry that things have turned out this way for you. But you're not alone... that's why this site is called e-notalone!

Caro, I must say, you really do have a way of asking thought-provoking questions. Which is why I let loose and write the longest responses to them. Words just seem to flood out. This is why I really enjoy your posts because not only are they helpful but they cause me to think and evaluate just what in the hell I'm doing. I'm afraid I don't always know. I know sticking it out with him is against many people's better judgment and one day they'll likely be saying "I told you so." I know I appear foolish. I know I'm not a stupid person, but I just can't figure out why I don't gather what self-respect I have left and leave. This is something that's eluding me. I could cite 'love' as an answer but many people have loved and left. So I don't know, I really just don't know.

Thank you, Caro! Sometimes Caro, I think of the very things you mentioned. How my future very well could end up being. I don't want to end up like that.. but I also don't want to desert someone who has, believe it or not, helped me in some ways. After I left my last boyfriend he was a great source of relief. I had moved out of my ex's and I's apartment and moved in with my mother (I was planning on staying just a few weeks, until I could move out on my own again, and it ended up being a bit longer.) Well, my mother is psychotic and unfortunately lacks the mother gene (my own opinion), and in a drunken rage told me to leave. He and I were already a couple by then and he told me he wanted me to stay with him. He's also turned out to be not only a boyfriend but a true friend too. He seems loyal to me above all people... (I know how contrasting this all sounds to my posts but it's true. I guess the concept of yinyang is true.. or at least, every bad person has a little bit of good, and every good person has a little bit of bad... sometimes there's people in between..) He said he supports me in anything I choose to do. I know all of that doesn't make him a saint, though. I know that all too well. I guess I just want to take a chance that he's sincere when he says what he says. I think.. it would take me finding out about him cheating or attempting to cheat with another girl. Or his behavior escalating to the point where someone got hurt. I'm being real and honest here. I know it sounds bad and reflects upon me as an individual, but at this point it would take a lot. I don't know why and I can't fully explain it or put it into words. It does bother me a lot the more and more I hear about him in the past, trying to get with really young girls. I just heard more information about this one girl, 15 or 16 years old, who worked at the local grocery store. She worked with my best friend at a restaurant and expressed surprise that someone was actually dating him, because according to her he was quite 'clingy.' She didn't say she disliked him but said that last year, when she was about 15/16, he would come into the grocery store and hit on her relentlessly. He knew she had a boyfriend but kept saying, "come to my house, come on, let's hang out, your boyfriend doesn't have to know." She kept saying, "no, only if I can bring my boyfriend!" Also she said he'd call her repeatedly at work. I know him well and he's quite the dialer. I believe this to be true, this girl has no reason to lie and she doesn't even have any malice towards him. Interestingly enough, when I brought it up (because how many times am I going to hear about young underagegirls he's tried to get with in the past?!?!?!) he tried to lie his @ss off and say he had no idea who she was. Heh. Also interestingly enough, at the beginning when he and I first started dating, we were in that particular grocery store where she still worked. (And I'll wager he was hitting on that girl up until he started dating me.) We went through her line and they chatted all friendly like. I thought nothing of it as he is very chatty and sociable and everyone knows he's a bigmouth sort. But they definitely knew eachother by name and everything, and she was even like, "I didn't know that you knew Carrie! I work with her," to him. (Carrie being the best friend of mine that this girl worked with at the restaurant.) So, I was like, "oh really, you don't have any idea who she is?? Funny, because I remember that one time in the grocery store..." He obviously had forgotten it himself and definitely didn't count on me having an excellent memory, which I hate to brag, but I do. It comes in quite handy. Heh, he tried to say that one time in the grocery store he didn't even know her but she just magically was talking to him in a familiar way like she knew him pretty well. Intereeeeeeeesting. The fact that he lied about knowing her and denied ever talking to her at all and denied that he knew of her existence seems to be proof enough that yes indeed, the incidents she described did indeed happen. I'm sorry that again I'm rambling and going on and being very verbose, but I'm just going off on a tangent.. Point was, it would take a lot but I think the more and more I hear little 'stories' about him trying to hit on girls of such a young age at the age he is now the more weight there is pressing upon my shoulders. You mentioned my future, well I at times imagine being in my 30's (and then far too old for him, I'm sure) and us with a teen daughter... and him checking out her friends. And subsequently, hitting on them behind my back and using his now-classic line, "So-and-so doesn't have to know..." Or, assuming he really DOESN'T have a thing for young girls only, some other woman that he chooses to sneak around with behind my back, saying "oh my wife doesn't have to know!" Despite knowing all of that, it's hard to go, in fact it's almost inconceivable although a couple of weeks ago I nearly snapped and did it. If such things hadn't happened, and if such things weren't weighing on me... things would be good. Not perfect, no relationship is. But things would be good. If only he had never tried to hit on that girl behind my back (whether or not it was because his jerk friend prodded him to do it, because that's not an excuse anyway) and if only there wasn't so many people who claim he's tried to get with some very young girls, and has slept with girls as young as 13 before at age 18/19, then things would be good. Things would be very good. Why would a person mess up like that and not think it'd come back to bite them in the @ss later? Urgh, mental conflict makes my head hurt. I'm sorry, I don't feel that I answered your question really, instead I just went off on tangents and words and sentences as I always do. I don't know what the day would look like if I left... it's hard to say. Like I said, if only he hadn't of done those things...

Well, I definitely understand your feelings on men wanting to look at porn when they're in a relationship, Starryeyed. It's my own personal request/demand that any man I am in a relationship with doesn't look at porn. That may not be fine for others, but as far as I see it, if a man doesn't want me enough to comply with such a wish, then he can always find a woman who is okay with their men looking at porn. My man gave up his porn (he didn't have an extensive collection or anything) and said he doesn't need it because he has me. Lots of people would scoff. I however choose to believe it because I've found no evidence of it and he never has a chance to look it up anyway. I do believe it is possible for a man to not have to look at porn. I believe it is possible for a man to have a fulfilling sexual life without having to look at porn. Porn didn't exist 100 years ago and men survived just fine. It's nothing but a modern novelty, it's not a need. I'd be even more concerned that he chooses to email "Swinger" sites. Sounds like he's trolling for real women, not just jpeg images.

I'm guessing that she's afraid to be friends with another girl after the events that occurred with her roommate and so on. And as a result, she tends to stereotype girls as being all the same. I have been guilty of it myself at times. She's afraid to get to know these girls and writes them all off as being "typical" because she's afraid to get close to another girl and feel the pain of being stabbed in the back again by another friend. Which realistically, doesn't have to happen, but I think that's what she fears. I think she also fears that again, all her friends will be taken away, just like that, and will desert her and backstab her like "the rest." Maybe you two could sit down for a long one-on-one talk? You've been going out a long time you said. No issue should be taboo. You could find out her reasons for wanting to dismiss any potential friend, and may gain a lot of insight into the situation. And perhaps by gaining more insight (and I tried to provide you with some, hopefully it helps) into her mind, you will be better equipped to help her solve the problem. Yes I agree, it's not the other people, it's her. But understand that she's been hurt by friends before and she needs some help rebuilding her confidence & trust when it comes to making friends.

Maybe he's being truthful when he says he's never been with men before, but I honestly believe he is gay or bi. He was so young when the relationship with his b/f started, so maybe it was his first time being with a man, but perhaps he was struggling with his sexual identity still, or was hiding in the closet due to fear of possible repercussions? Could be his family wouldn't accept him at all, and he also may be worried about society. People can be pretty nasty and closedminded at times.

No wonder you call yourself Barbiegurl then, you're very pretty. You look like a model.

You should set up outings with your friends and their girlfriends anyway. If she feels the need to be with you 24/7 then what would stop her from coming? That way she can meet your friend's girlfriends and possibly make a friendship connection with them. If she's a sweet & kind girl like you say, then there's no reason why she can't make friends with them. Then when you guys want to go do something, she can go places with her new female friends.

I'm not pathetic for dating him. I'm human. I'm a flawed human like all humans who realizes that everyone makes horrible mistakes.

Awesome.

I'm starting to feel some pretty bad cramps right now, anyway. Guess I didn't conceive! And my period isn't late anyway. Heh, sorry everyone. I'm a dumb@ss. After correctly rewriting my calendar chart, I see that it is indeed December 10th that I will start if I do indeed have a 28 day cycle. Gaaaah, what an idiot I am. Heeeh! Sorry everyone.

My period ended on the 18th though. I'm so confused. I thought that the day my period started would be considered as Day one, and day 7 was the day my period ended which it did. Then day 8, and so on, and so on, until day 28.. would be December 2nd, and day one again would be December 1st. I mean I've got it charted on my calendar and I'm sitting here looking at it and getting really confused. Am I supposed to add 28 days AFTER my period ends or before or keep counting as day one to day 7 to day 14 and so on ? I'm so confused now. I realize that I sound very confusing as well. Here's what I mean, the best way I can put it: Wait nevermind, oh my god, I'm a complete idiot. On the calendar, on the blank spaces in November which would signify December starting, I kept marking the numbers, ... like Day 20 on the calendar right after Nov 30th, would of course would be December 1st, so on December 1st I've got day 27... Oh my god, what an idiot. I have to do this whole thing over. Born2Resist, you were right.

Due to being a bit broke at the moment, I'll have to wait til Friday. But I will definitely get the twopack.

Well, I started to last month, and by my calculations it would be due the 3rd of December. Hasn't started yet, so I'm guess I either conceived or my cycle is longer than 28 days. Perhaps I'm one of those girls who's cycle is 32 days like your friend. Question ladies, what's the longest possible cycle one could have? For some reason the number 40 keeps popping up in my head, I think maybe I've read somewhere that the maximum number of days a cycle could last is 40 days??

Well, I've just started tracking them, since we decided to try and have a baby. Last month my period was on the 12th of November, so going by the average 28 day cycle, it would be due to start the 3rd of December. (Wouldn't it?? Or am I calculating wrong? This stuff confuses me so much.) I'm guessing my cycle isn't shorter than 28 days or it would have started earlier, right?? So I guess it's longer than 28 days as well, or it would have started on the 3rd as calculated.

Coincidentally, I registered on that website last night. It's a pretty cool site, isn't it? Thanks for the link. Well I haven't taken a test yet because I don't want to waste the money on one if I'm not pregnant. (I've only been able to find ones that cost like $13, eeek.) If my cycle is longer than 28 days (as I'm starting to suspect) then my period isn't due yet. I guess I should give it another week and then try a test. I understand what you're saying and you're right. But, I would love my baby no matter who the father was. If we broke up, I wouldn't want to send the child back. I do know one thing, and that would be that he's a good father. He already has a 3 year old daughter from a previous relationship. Well.. I don't have insurance currently. That's all good advice, I will definitely do that.

Let me clarify; no, I don't think it's weird for a man to have sex with a man. I've no problem with gays, lesbians, or bisexuals, etc, etc. But it just strikes me as quite odd how he managed to allow a man to blow him, and had anal sex with him, ...and obviously judging by that, became aroused by a man, if he is not gay or bi.

Hmm, it's just weird to me that he'd have sex with a man though, if he's not gay or bi. How did he get aroused then?

I don't think that was her point. Based upon my observations of some of her other posts, she and her boyfriend are in love. And she stressed that her boyfriend has done nothing wrong. I agree though, love with sex is so much better.

Especially if the man's on top, because you can't breathe, you can't work the penis properly, and it hurts your neck and throat. Well, from my perspective anyway.

Ifthisisntlove, I hate to ask, but is it possible that he's having an affair? You work the graveyard shift so I assume your schedules are different, and it wouldn't be hard for him to do so. I ask because he's stopped talking to you and he's stopped having sex with you. Then, I read how he asked you for a divorce to be with some girl he met online. So, he's already cheated. What would stop him from doing it again? I think there's something more going on than just breakdown of communication.