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pregnantkitty_1985

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  1. pregnantkitty_1985
    One- how many days is the average cycle? I was always told that it was 28 days. Well, my friend has told me that I am misinformed. She said it could be 25 days, which she claims her cycle is, or it could be more, like 30 days or so. I'm asking because on day one of my last cycle, my period started (of course.) It lasted 7 days. Well ever since my period ended my fiance and I have been having sex everynight unprotected and he has been ejaculating inside me. This is because we want to have a baby. (Please don't judge me despite some of you having read my other threads.) Well day 28 has arrived, on December the 3rd. No period. It's now December the 5th so either A) I did indeed conceive, or B) my cycle lasts longer than 28 days. I never charted this before so I don't know how many days my cycle is. Like I said, it is either longer than 28 days or I have conceived. I do have some PMS symptoms though, like fatigue and irritability. Some cramping too. This is all very typical of the symptoms I experience prior to my period. So my questions are, how many days is the average cycle? Does it vary greatly from woman to woman? Also, are my chances of being pregnant high?
  2. pregnantkitty_1985
    As you should. No one should ever stay with someone who makes them feel bad about themselves or disregards your feelings. Good luck, I hope it's more of a case of 'stupid comment, insert foot in mouth' than pure maliciousness.
  3. pregnantkitty_1985
    I would tell him how you felt, employing the "no-contact" thing is more geared for breakups and it doesn't seem you're in that stage. So at this point in time, stopping all communication would be more damaging (I'd say) than helpful. I'd instead pick up the phone, or, better yet, do this face to face, and tell him how you feel. And let him know you love your looks the way they are and you're not changing for nodamnbody! He'll more likely than not feel like a fool and wish he had never made such a comment in the first place. Yes, he should be apologizing, and likely will if you take such an approach.
  4. pregnantkitty_1985
    Of course your situation is slightly different and yes he may have meant it in an insulting/controlling way, but after reading your post where he instantly corrected his percieved 'mistake'- by saying "You're beautiful, it enhances your beauty' blah blah, it could merely of been a stupid 'foot-in-mouth' comment that he didn't even realize sounded insulting. Keep an ear out for future dubious comments.
  5. pregnantkitty_1985
    But then after reading this I kinda dismiss the 'controlling' claim, it more sounds like a case of foot in mouth. Where a guy (or girl) tends to make a stupid offhanded comment that doesn't really mean anything. Like for example, my current man said to me one day, "I want to give you a day at the spa and get your hair done and nails done... and etc... etc.." I was like, "huh? What? Hold up. What's wrong with my hair?" He replied, "Nothing, I love your hair, it's just I thought that you'd like going!" Classic foot-in-mouth case, but he really didn't mean anything by it.
  6. pregnantkitty_1985
    And yeah, I'd agree with blender that this *might* be a sign of a controller. Can't be entirely sure based upon just one comment however, so keep an ear open.
  7. pregnantkitty_1985
    Hmm, I read your other post, so first there's the possible lipstick stain and now he's telling you he wants you to have a hairdo? Definite red flag to me. I'd give him a taste of his own medicine, see if he likes how it tastes. And there's absolutely nothing wrong with you, you're an attractive woman and I love your hairstyle. He's just an idiot who's likely insecure about his own self. I had an ex who started gaining weight and as a result would tend to insult me for flaws he 'percieved.' I was perfectly fine if you asked other dudes (better-looking ones, at that) who wanted to date me. So, a lot of this I think stems from insecurity.
  8. pregnantkitty_1985
    I could be gaining a life-long relationship, or at least a good life's lesson at any rate, should I turn out to be horribly wrong about giving him a second chance.
  9. pregnantkitty_1985
    Well, we've been seeing eachother 11months, and he's behaved even before he got caught in the initial things that he did. He's been behaving over half a year now. I'm not quite sure yet if he could handle adversity, I guess I'll find out one way or another. Definitely will proceed with caution.
  10. pregnantkitty_1985
    Yep, I'd cut the link completely. Don't continue giving him access to you, it's like giving him power over you. He knows you're readily available whenever he wants you.
  11. pregnantkitty_1985
    Could you elaborate further, I am a bit confused. No offense intended at all, I'm just a bit confused. Probably because it's 5:51am here and I'm quite tired now. I've been anxious and have been up all night. Thoughts racing through my head, and whatnot. Sorry, didn't mean to be so repetitive. Just sleepy. I'm rebelling against my inner self, the one that tells me "leave, you know it's bad for you", and also against my core values, because I am compromising them by staying with him.
  12. pregnantkitty_1985
    But what if he's capable of being good and staying good? Willing to repent? I'm definitely not religious but I know some religions are quite big on forgiving one's sins. One thing everyone (who knows him) will say about him is this: that he does have a good heart.
  13. pregnantkitty_1985
    Good to know all things are calmer. I honestly don't think he (fiance) would ever hit me.
  14. pregnantkitty_1985
    Well I wouldn't exactly say I live in fear. When he starts getting like he does, I let him know flat-out that he does not intimidate me. Example: last time he went into a rage, I flung him to the bed with all my strength and held him down as he flailed and raged. I refused to let him up until he calmed down. He was crying. I think it goes beyond being abusive, I think it's some sort of emotional disorder that he seriously needs medication for. He said he wants help, and asked me if I would go with him to the mental health center. He even called them and asked them about anger management classes. It's on his own volition, I'm not forcing him. Honestly though, reading my past few posts, it's just such a classic case of "defend your abuser." No, I don't consider him my abuser, or an abuser in any sense. But I do realize I'm sitting here rationalizing things and making excuses for him. What he's doing is wrong, what he's done is wrong. But he does need help and he deserves for someone to care, in a life where he's felt more often than not that no one has.
  15. pregnantkitty_1985
    What cute kitty pictures, btw! Sometimes I'm happy, and things are okay, and sometimes I'm not. I do tend to worry a lot and can't let anything go. I do fully realize there are indeed some major red flags here. But I do believe in a person's capacity to change, at times.
  16. pregnantkitty_1985
    I don't think he'd hit me... to be honest, I slapped him in the face (I'm not generally an abusive person, but I snapped) during one of our horrible fights, more to calm him down than to hurt him... not sure why I thought it would work, but... *shrug*.. and he didn't lay a hand on me. I definitely agree with the second part of your post, I've said as much myself to my friends. I said basically, 'someone with a cheating mentality accuses others of doing such things because they themselves can conceive of it quite easily." I don't know if things are getting worse, well the raging is, but it's never where he gets verbally abusive or tries to put me down. It seems more like built up frustration and anxiety and stress and he snaps. We've talked about him getting anger management and/or counseling.
  17. pregnantkitty_1985
    I know, you're right. It's just that ever since those initial f' ups, he's been an extremely good boy, and has been, admittedly, trying his damndest to prove himself to me. At this point in time he would not do anything to compromise the relationship and though I know he's done some horrible shady things, that does show me that he does, at least for now, intend to be in this for the long run, or however long we may last. It does show me that though he's been reckless and so on, his feelings are genuine and maybe that's enough to make a change in a person. As far as my knowledge extends, he has done nothing else to compromise the relationship and has not had even the tiniest bit of opportunity to do so. Doesn't seem interested in wanting to do so, either. Is this a good sign?
  18. pregnantkitty_1985
    He can be pretty romantic. I'm not generally an mushy gushy girl so at times he can be a bit over the top and theatrical about it, or "emo" if you will, a bit embarrassing really, but it is sweet however. He will constantly tell me he loves me, and is always attempting to put his arms around me or hold my hand, he forever talks about how 'sweet' it is when we go to sleep after having sex when I put my head on his shoulder and he puts his arm around me, he will look at me and smile and verbalize how he is happy. He talks about wanting a child and how our wedding will be and how he wants to provide for the family, and how he already considers us a family. He talks about us growing old together. He loves to see me laugh and does everything in his power to make me laugh. If I have a concern (as long as it's nothing to do with him and the things he's done I've described in other posts, blarrgggh) about someone or something he will listen respectfully and will input. He talks about my family becoming his family and vice versa and actually wanted to meet them, and enjoys going to visit people like my elderly aunt and uncle, and grandparents and such. This is, I guess, how he shows that he cares. Is it acceptable or should I be asking for more? He never makes me feel unloved but the things he has done in the past weighs on me heavily. And he thinks I should just drop said things and we should move on with it, let the past be past, and focus on our future of 'happiness'. Good enough idea respectfully, but not so easy to do.
  19. pregnantkitty_1985
    I do get pretty stressed, yes. Sometimes the internal struggle about whether I've made the right choice or not, and the mental conflict I have with compromising my core values and morals keeps me up all night. Right now I've got no finances to speak of. I'm essentially dependent on him right now and he wants me to become pregnant and stay home and raise our child. I have had a job offer, because the manager of the store lives in this neighborhood and would be able to give me a ride there. I couldn't make it on my own and I couldn't go back home. But please don't get the wrong impression and think I stay because of that. I stay, impractically, because of love. But you're right, I should have the option of leaving at any time. Sometimes I've been so furious with him I just wanted to say the hell with it, grab my stuff, and go. But that hasn't been an option for me at the present time.
  20. pregnantkitty_1985
    In a practical sense, I realize that. But like I said, the impractical side of me wants to rebel.
  21. pregnantkitty_1985
    I can see him practically & objectively (or, as close as possible for someone who's romantically involved with him) but then the dreamer/impractical side of me wants to think maybe despite those horrible character flaws, he really is, or can be, a good guy. Or at least is very genuine about his feelings and wants to be a completely different man. But judging by the amount of posts on this site, I could be terribly wrong about him in the end. I know I'm engaging in some risky behavior by giving him the second chance that I did.
  22. pregnantkitty_1985
    Whoa. To quote my beloved grandmother, "Oh my!" This sounds like something straight out of a V.C. Andrews novel, to be quite honest. Mysterman22, everyone's told you this and I will tell you this again. This girl is highly disturbed and cannot be mentally stable. Expending your energy thinking about this disturbed woman must be very draining. Why would you want to be involved with someone who is having a sexual relationship with their own brother? It sounds very poisonous, you should stay far, far away. You have to break free of these people, if not only to preserve your own integrity but to save your own mental state.
  23. pregnantkitty_1985
    Hell yeah.
  24. pregnantkitty_1985
    Also I don't see how you're responsible for his stolen LP's. He shouldn't have put anyone else in charge of something so valuable. They were his and he should have kept up with them. Don't let him blame you for that.
  25. pregnantkitty_1985
    Kat, I'm sorry to have to say this but, it's clear that in this guy Eric's mind, it's already over between you two. There's nothing to save because he's already declared his broke-up status, not only by the way he's been treating you (ignoring you, breaking promises to call or visit) but very blatantly by what he told your mutual friend. Like you said you can't chain him to a chair and force him to talk. I'd advise to chill out with the contact for a few days, (you'll see how they advise no-contact on this site quite often.) and see how it goes from there. Chances are he will contact you. You will have to tell him it's important that you two talk face to face. Don't talk on IM, don't talk on the phone, talk face to face. If he's broken up with you, then he needs to be a man and tell you to your face. You also deserve to know why. Maybe you can work it out, maybe you can. Take it easy, don't put the pressure on.
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