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Chibby33

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Everything posted by Chibby33

  1. Chibby33
    Good news actually. The texts he sent me today really didn't make any impact on my heartbeat, or blood pressure. In fact after I read it, I put the cell phone down, continued to work and forgot about responding for about over an hour. My initial thought was "oh well." Recovering perhaps?
  2. Chibby33
    Yeah I have been through the same exact thing! Yes, they are fishing for info but I would keep ignoring - for whatever it's worth, let them keep guessing.
  3. Chibby33
    Scout, what am I to do without your wisdom??
  4. Chibby33
    I agree with Dako - go with your own comfort level. As long as you choose the safe path, no strings attached.
  5. Chibby33
    My ex sends me texts a couple of times every week, I never initiate the contact nor do I seldom respond. This afternoon he sent a text, "How was your weekend?" Not to break NC, but I responded graciously because I think it's the proper thing to do. It was a short response and I added "how was yours? I hope it went well." He responded that he was sick for days but even though i was concerned, I no longer responded. Is this ok? Thoughts please.
  6. Chibby33
    Definitely a smart move! Belated Happy Birthday!
  7. Chibby33
    Itsallgrand - I think there is absolutely nothing wrong about my daughter being my rock. I do not bear that upon her like a job, right now it's just me and her supporting each other and she is very strong for me as I have for her. We are each other's rock and that's the way it is. Also, it insults me, sorry to say that you would claim just so loosely that I have not idea how my actions affect my child. Terribly sorry but how dare you - you have no idea who I am. I thank God everyday that I have been blessed with a strong, intelligent, and high self-esteemed daughter. Although I sometimes do congratulate myself for having raised her as such. I perceive that you think I am a horrible mother and you should never, ever assume that about another parent. THAT my dear "is JUST WRONG."
  8. Chibby33
    I think you nailed it MEOW. And it's not like I'm jumping to a relationship this instant. There are a lot of cleansing, praying, and soul searching before anything happens. When the next episode comes, i'll make sure I use my head and consider what's best for me and my daughter.
  9. Chibby33
    YEs the reason I had to part with my husband was that he argues in front of our daughter. She's closer to me so she sticks to me like velcro - when we argue, I walk away from him but he still follows me around. SO yes, she has witnessed our arguments. With fella #2, we dont argue in front of her but she knows when there's an issue becuase #2 sulks for days and sleeps in the basement. She also sees mommy sad. On the other hand she does see us loving and cuddling. Bottom line, I wont bring another person in our house. Although I refuse to hide or lie to her, when the right (please God!) person comes, I really dont know what to tell her.
  10. Chibby33
    My ex husband and I divorced 2 years ago, we've remained close friends although he moved to another state. Then I was in another serious relationship, we talked about getting married and having kids together, he moved to my state and in my house for over a year. The relationship ended over a month ago because we both were unhappy. It was a big mistake for having him move in with us, although we had so much fun and he gave us the feeling of being a family, it was just too soon for us to live together. I do regret it a lot. I am still depressed because I think I made several wrong decisions in my life that affected my daughter. Although she's ok and has been my rock through this turmoil, I dont want her to experience another big change in her life because of her mom. Anyway I had a talk with my 8-year old daughter and she made it clear that she doesnt want mommy to have another boyfriend ever. Although it will take years before I consider dating again, should I follow my daughter's wish and close all hope for another relationship?
  11. Chibby33
    You are right FriscoDJ. I think im not being fair to everyone including myself and if i proceed without taking a step back, i'll end up getting myself and someone else hurt. I'll let time be my friend for now.
  12. Chibby33
    Actually Guy #1 (fiance) may have been my rebound man because he was my next right after I got divorced. He gave me what my ex husband didnt but when I realized he wasnt on the same level of maturity, we decided not to get married anymore but still be a couple. Many times when we were still together that I imagined having the house to myself and daughter only. I guess that was the part when I didnt need rescuing anymore. Anyway, I'll just take it slow. Dont want another headache anyway. Whatever happens, happens I guess. Yes about the temper, he certainly brought out the worst in me.
  13. Chibby33
    Yeah i did tell guy#2 that it will take a very long time for me to date again and he understands. Just dont want to lose what I almost had before. I guess I made the wrong decisions in life and went for the one who would only bring me misery.
  14. Chibby33
    Bear with me on this story. My fiance broke up with me over a month ago. We lived together in my house for a year and a half, and during that period, there were times when I really didnt want to end up with him because: 1. he was sloppy and lazy 2. he wasnt financially stable. had a full time job but wasnt enough to share the utilities, food, etc. 3. irresponsible. had so many problems, got 2 moving tickets in less than a year. didnt take care of important things. 4. always looked for issues and created drama. whenever we had an argument, he sulked for days. didnt speak to me, slept in the other room. 5. broke up with him twice but was just concerned where he would end up. So anyway he left because my temper flared. Yes I love him and i may still do but not in a way that i want him back. He sent me text messages but only because he needed my help. Anyway, there was this guy i dated before I met my fiance. He has a nice job, has a place of his own, and i knew he would take care of me. Very mature. But unfortunately he was not my type physically. So me being an idiot went with this other good looking loser - so i learned my lesson and got burnt. There were times when I was with my fiance that I thought about this other guy and how he would have made me happier. Anyway he and i started communicating again and he still felt the same way about me. Actually waited for me all these years. Should I go for it?? I dont want to make another mistake when I know he will make me happy. Is it too soon?? HELP!!
  15. Chibby33
    Gosh you are in a complicated situation if you work with her. Avoidance is one of the things that will help you recover, it will be hard because you may be ok in 2 weeks while she's gone but when she gets back, will her presense throw you right where you are now? I was in the very same situation - i texted him so many times then finally decided enough is enough. Funny because now he's the one texting me, but only because I'm the only one who can help him. Revenge is sweet when it is given cold. Hang in there. FOCUS ON RECOVERY!!
  16. Chibby33
    Well there you go! You need to mature and Juliana is right. Get off his space for a while. In fact, let him make the first effort of contacting you. When he's ready, he will. And when he does, always be the first to hang up. That my dear is maturity. In the meantime, you need to think about exactly what you want to happen and if it will lead to happiness or another heart break.
  17. Chibby33
    I will actually try that Left. I've never told him not to contact me so I guess he still thinks his messages are welcome. Thanks!
  18. Chibby33
    I really started to call T-Mobile about it. The thing is, my ex has my home number and direct line at work. I can't change those but then he cant send text messages to those either.
  19. Chibby33
    I've been doing NC for over a month now, but my ex fiance keeps sending me text messages every week. Sometimes he would ask for things back - things that he's never touched in 2 years. Then last week he sent me a text because he got 2 driving tickets due to expired car registration and vehicle inspection. I tried to ignore him but then he sent another text asking why all these bad luck keep happening to him. He's had problems after problems since he left me. At first I felt vindicated because he left me but it's really not ok to celebrate from one's misfortunes. He doesnt make much and now that he left, he has to face paying rent, utilities, food, on top of his car payments. Yes I admit I feel bad for what he's going through however it was his decision to leave and he should have planned better. Bottom line I helped him but only for the car registration renewal. I had to pay $29 online and fax the receipt to his office so he wont get pulled over again that night. He sent a meaningful thank you text but I didnt respond anymore. We agreed to remain friends, but I havent been initiating contact since he confirmed it was over between us 2 months ago (YES NC!!). The thing is, it's really hard for me to heal when he keeps sending me texts of his problems or for just about anything. The thing I hate about text messages is that you can read them however you want and may receive the wrong impression as hearing someone actually say it. Should I change my mobile number? I really dont want to go through the hassle. I've come to a point where I expect his text messages to arrive and when it doesnt, I start missing him. What should I do?
  20. Chibby33
    We're on the same page SoontobeRN. I'm afraid of a new relationship because my ex is still in my head 24/7. That's why as much as I want to be with someone, I dont think I'll ever be ready or fair. The relationship we had was drama-intensed but just like you, I miss him so much.
  21. Chibby33
    Here's the thing. It depends on the level of your relationship. When my fiance (well, ex now) and I went out, we dont put our phones on vibrate anymore because we're already comfortable with each other - wouldnt bother us if the phones start ringing. Anyway we both know each other's friends, families, etc. so it could be any of them who calls and that's always the case. HOWEVER if you're in this level of relationship and the other does insist on putting the phone on vibrate, then there's no harm in asking. Again, it depends on the level of your relationship.
  22. Chibby33
    I am actually at that point. My fiance and I broke up over a month ago and I cannot imagine myself being with anybody anymore. Yes a part of me still loves him, and being on a date with someone feels like I'm cheating on him even though we're not together. But going back to your post, I dont see myself being able to offer that kind of love to another anymore. Maybe I lost faith or interest in it. Or the fear that it will only lead to another break-up. Or maybe I'm just tired and dont believe in it anymore.
  23. Chibby33
    Yes this site has helped me tremendously. I found so much support and at the same time I was able to pass my knowledge and experience to others who are going through worse. Had I not found this, I would be still bugging my brother every hour.
  24. Chibby33
    I wonder how the hundreds of forumers found this site. I typed "surviving a break up" in yahoo and got several links. Opened many of them but they were just 2-page articles (ZZzzzzzzz.....). Enotalone was perfect because there are other living souls who are currently going through the same hurdles. How did you find enotalone and how has it helped you?
  25. Chibby33
    Thank you Princess. I will start the temper countdown, and perhaps add a flair of "serenity now, serenity now, . . ." I also started to take deep breaths. My doctor did say that I have anxiety attacks. I'd rather not take meds - I prefer challenging my mind and conquering this myself. Well I also noticed that I havent had an explosion since he left. Serenity's here, serenity's here. . .
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