flooglebinder

she's in russia with work this week. I didn't expect to hear anything from her but have just about every day. I'm nearly blonde, but you seem to know what you are talking about!! I should just treat this as her being friendly, and I'm being friendly back, but, I sent her a sarcastic reply about the food over there to which she said 'thanx i love u 2'. AARRGGHH!!! why why why why why!!!!! slap hug slap hug slap hug!

Hey sparkle!! Today I feel confused, maybe you should give me a slug!!! more txts from russia. arrghh!!

Thanks sparkle! Yep, everyone has told me I'm too good for her, which on the face of it is probably true. Can't help how I feel about her tho. Thats a big hurdle. Thing is, she's not doing herself any favours in the long run by staying in touch is she? she must know that.

On the 7 year thing, I read somewhere that it takes 7 years for your body to regenerate all its cells - so scientifically speaking after 7 years you are a different person! Off the wall but I thought I'd throw it in!

Unfortunately yes I really love her, and she knows that. Or at least she did. Tried to convince myself so many times it was rejection or dreaming and so have other people. Sad innit!

Hi sparkle! It's £10 actually! I struggle to understand how someone who was so close to you can be and think like this. Like she actually knows what she is doing??! But thinking about it you are mostly right! I have to have the control back. I have to make her understand subtly that my world doesnt revolve around her. It would be interesting to see how she reacts!

HaHa!! youre funny! I meant if we are both not ready to break all contact. Yes I'll admit I reply to her txts n emails but I don't give much away at all. Well I havent met someone really, I saw her just twice and nothing happened. She hasn't broken the circle, she's still in touch, breaking it would mean no contact - at all ever! right? But you are right, every time we have broken up we've got back together after her finding out I've been on a date or something. Then yes she's reeled me back in!! My god this is madness!! Feel like telling her to put up or shut up - but then she has control again! OR I could be completely wrong and she could think 'what on earth are you thinking, I'm just being friendly, I thought you knew that' kinda thing - and that would leave me feeling v v foolish!! My face is hurting with all the slaps now!

Its good to be blunt sparkle - probably what I need! I think deep down she does love me but her heads telling her not to if that makes sense. What do you mean by chaser? The 'me finding someone else' is quite apt - she was convinced I'd met someone just last week! and acted all cool about it saying 'you've got to move on'. Well I havent met any one. She keeps fishing around wanting to know what I'm up to aswell. I can't see why she would want to cling on if it was her decision to break up. She was very clear about needing to move on. Maybe she's done it already! And surely if I'm not ready to break this circle then she REALLY isn't ready?? And if we're both not ready then we have a HUGE problem that at the moment we are both avoiding?? Keep slapping me round the face sparkle xx

She knew I had kids the day I met her nearly 3yrs ago. The first night of her holiday she told me that she wasnt going to let the kids thing spoil us and just wanted us to be together. Then virtually overnight half way thru her hols she changed, became v distant. Similar thing happened last year, then it took 8 months to get back together. At first I tried to talk her round but then gave up but we still kept in touch. She started seeing someone which think made her realise what she had lost and then I guess she started a 'plan' to try and rescue us. Which worked. For me it was vindication of what I already knew, that she loved me full stop. Problem is now, I still think she does. She lives with her folks, they dont want her to be with someone who who has 'baggage'. And she has a problem standing up for herself with them. I don't like trying to second guess her, but I do. I know her better than anyone, better than anyone has or will. I understand what you say about 'security' and I have a saying for her - she changes her mind like she changes her knickers! But, when you have let someone in far deeper than anyone else has ever gone you put up with their bad bits cos the good bits outweigh them. Getting back to the post, she knows herself by staying in contact there is a risk for both of us that we will not move on and start the cycle all over again. So if she knows that, then why is she doing it? thanks for listening sparkle x

Similar situation myself. 2 months out, started dating a woman 2 weeks ago, had to call it a day on sunday, I couldnt continue it, it made me feel good at first but then the comparisons started. And now I feel bad again, missing her again, missing that connection we had (which I think we still have). Doesnt help that she's back txting now and then when she wanted NC at the start. One thing I do know is its gonna take someone very special to get me and keep me - now in a weird way thats exciting, its just the 'how long' factor that kills!

Yeah, I'm getting to the stage where I have to say something similar, I can feel it brewing. I wonder if they consciously know what they are doing, I mean we have the benefit of these threads to help us understand why and how and stuff but they maybe don't. For me it feels like I know her better than she knows herself - weird!

I really wish I knew! I'm in the same boat. Got dumped, she said we needed to break all contact so we could move on or we'd start the cycle all over again. That was 2 months ago, and now she txts me nearly every day, just to tell me something or ask what I'm up to. I've been told its because they don't want us to move on or be happy - dont think thats right in my case. Maybe its habit, maybe its familiarity, maybe its a safety net, maybe its regret. It can be alot of things I suppose, I wish I knew the answer!

I suppose she will put me in a predicament depending on her answers. She would either say she missed me and we should talk, had moved on but wanted to be friends or admit that she was lonely and didn't want me to think bad of her. I would think number 2 would be her answer right now. However history suggests otherwise. Hmm, the break up. Loved me to bits, went on holiday, different person when she came back. Same thing happened last year, til her holiday bubble burst, took 8 months to get back together. Have a feeling the bubbles burst again and she's back to reality. She's like that. It was a complicated relationship, she has controlling folks, still lives with them, 13 year age gap, and I have 2 kids. didn't matter to her before her hol.

Yes I would say I do want her back tho I don't think that would happen. I'm not sure if she does miss me or she is just lonely or something. I do however feel that something is brewing. Thing is I know her better than she knows herself. Although I'd like to just sit down and say 'right, whats going on, why are you being like this?' Its hard as we havent seen or physically spoken to each other since the break up.

Been broke up a couple of months now. Out of the blue, she dumped me, and wanted no contact. that lasted maybe a few days. Slowly but surely the contact has got more frequent - always her txting or emailing. It got to be daily, not alot but still contact, now she has started asking what I'm up to all the time AND now she has convinced herself I've met someone, which I havent for obvious reasons. I don't ask her anything about what she's up to, I don't want to know. I keep telling her I havent, and she keeps fishing, telling me to move on. Oh, and now the odd txt ends with a X. I even tried to politely remind her that we shouldnt be in contact, which she didn't like. She's in Russia for a week at the mo, before she went she said 'I'm sure you'll hear from me'. I wasnt expecting to, well Its been every day so far!. Its like she said it to make sure I knew she'd be in contact. Is this normal behaviour? Whats she up to?