Jump to content

Chibby33

Members
 View Profile  See their activity

  • Posts

    159

  • Joined

 Content Type 

Everything posted by Chibby33

  1. Chibby33
    Not sure about you and the new guy jumping into a new relationship when there's still unfinished business and emotional attachment with each of your ex's. I would think twice - yes it may make you forget about your ex and may make you feel better but it just a temporary fix. Your fall will be harder and worse because at the end of the day, you and the new guy are still thinking about your ex's. You need to recover on your own - go through the emotional heal first. But then it's your call dear. Good luck!
  2. Chibby33
    I agree. If not it will haunt you for a long time. You will never move forward and recover. It's hard but you've done what you've done. I dont think she'll be upset given what she has done to you. Do the right thing ok?
  3. Chibby33
    I would advise you to read through the posts about "NC." It will help you stay strong I promise you. It helped me as well as everybody else. Stay focused on full recovery my friend. Use your strength and our support to move in a forward direction. You will fall, we all do, but when that happens we are here to listen and provide endless encouragement. FOCUS ON HEALING! And I would change your Hotmail before she gets access to yours.
  4. Chibby33
    Well she didnt feel guily cheating on you - so you changed her email password, so what? Well it was wrong and you got hurt big time so that was your consequence; apologize to her but do not give anymore reason why you did it. Tell her "I'm sorry, it was wrong." Shorter the better. Also what other closure are you looking for?? Why confront her about the other guy when you already read the answers? Whatever she says, how will it change things? Do the right and manly thing this time. END IT WITH YOUR DIGNITY!
  5. Chibby33
    In my case, I'm going to have to agree with you Joyce. My ex is 30 and I'm 38, but in spite of the reverse age difference, I always thought he pushed way too hard to being in control. That and perhaps he has Middle Eastern/Italian blood in him. I knew I was in trouble!
  6. Chibby33
    On the contrary, a loser who leaves is so much better in my opinion because at least I did not lose nor will miss anything from his departure - I am more relieved actually. If he was someone whom I gained anything from, then the loss would be at a higher cost and there would be more things I will miss about him. He actually left because the arguments were more frequent, I broke up with him twice in the past then that final night I finally lost my temper and it scared him. He said he doesnt feel safe around me anymore - funny cause I thought he was tough.
  7. Chibby33
    Read what you just wrote above Kimber. That doesnt sound like from someone who is "young" but who is obviously strong and refuses to take crap from anyone. Cherish this strength that is growing in you; do not ignore it but release its power to heal yourself. In other words, "you go gurl!!"
  8. Chibby33
    Joyce, I need to borrow your "yeah oh well" approach. I like that! Now when I wake up and he pops in my thoughts, I yell "Go away! You packed and left me so now you are no longer welcome in my domain (and a few minor profanities)!!" Sometimes anger helps the healing.
  9. Chibby33
    Only you will know when you are ready. At least you found out your emotional state - I'm sure it was all worth the effort of going out. For me, I really know I won't be ready for a looooooonng time, nor do I want/need it right now. I am focusing on my daughter, house, work, etc. Relationships go way down the bottom of my list. Funny because way back, I was always longing for one, after the other, after the other.
  10. Chibby33
    Kimber - glad to hear from you again. I always wondered how you were. Kudos to you! Finish the relationship, cut all ties and run as far away from his abusive environment as possible. Everytime you think fondly of him, just shout "ENOUGH!!" Trust me I did that ranting many times I think some people at IKEA thought my kid's name is "Enough." Ha! Ha!
  11. Chibby33
    It seems most of us do wake up in the middle of the night and takes an hour or so to go nack to sleep. I know i do and it's always around 2am then my mind starts wandering about him. Sigh . .
  12. Chibby33
    It's been a month and when i finally got closure from him I became stronger, stopped the analyzinf his phone calls and text messages and basically felt so much better. It's been 5 days of NC from both of us. However, why is it always difficult in the morning when I wake up? It's the worst part of the day because it's when I miss him so much. As the day pass, I get back to feeling better and stronger. Does anybody else go through this? What part of the day do you mostly feel like crap??
  13. Chibby33
    You are correct Belle. He truly enjoyed living in my house - walked around like he owned it (even though he never paid for anything). The red flags started raising when I would go shopping for stuff and he just kept putting stuff for himself in the cart. When it was time to pay, he just stood there waiting for me to pull my wallet out. I thank my lucky stars that we didnt have a child or got married. Now whenever i walk around my house, I look at each corner and say to myself "that corner right there is mine."
  14. Chibby33
    Gut feeling, I think she wants you to stop her from proceeding with the legal stuff. She's trying to prolong the conversation, a classic reverse pysch on you.
  15. Chibby33
    You all are correct. I do worry about him because I am the one with the house, car, money, good job, etc. Because he left, now he has to worry about paying rent, utilities, etc. I guess when we were together I was the main provider - actually the only provider. Oh well his loss I guess. At the end of the day when I look at what I have, I really didnt lose anything.
  16. Chibby33
    My fiance packed and left a month ago. He was crying, said he still loves me, etc. I'm better now after getting closure from him. It's torture being dumped, but what do most dumpers go through? Same emotional distress? Worse? What goes through their heads?
  17. Chibby33
    EXACTLY!! I really learned my lesson. He HAD the good life with me. Gets upset when I mistakenly calls it "my house." He wants it labeled as "our house" but doesnt do anything! There was one night, about 11pm when I was still washing the dishes he left last night. Mind you, I have a full time job too. He was out in the yard on the phone with his cousin, then when he walked in, I found him laying on the sofa in our family room, legs crossed and watching TV. I asked him if he ever feels bad seeing me washing the dishes at 11pm, and that's when the argument started. His defense? Shut down and sulk. I guess it's got something to do with his Middle Eastern upbringing. The woman does all. I PAID FOR EVERYTHING! On my birthday, we went out to dinner - guess who paid for it? My revenge now is he is scrambling every waking day trying to make enough money to get by while I sit in MY HOUSE figuring out what to spend my money on next. Welcome to paying rent, utilities, and food my friend!
  18. Chibby33
    The first day he packed and left, I ran to IKEA and redecorated my house. You are correct NJ, I need to make it "mine and my daughter's home." Funny because when my fiance was still around, I imagined being just me and my daughter, dreaming of the two of us in bed together. The relationship was emotionally draining for me - he was always coming up with an argument, the sulking, the drama, etc. I guess I got my wish as painful as it is to get it. The first 2 weeks, I hated coming home and being alone. I cried like a little girl. But now after receiving closure from him, my house has become a safe domain for me again. Yes, it's my house and it's where my daughter will grow and we'll fill it everyday with love. This morning I started cleaning the family room - man it felt good!
  19. Chibby33
    I immediately jumped in a relationship 2 months after I separated from my husband. That was a year and a half ago - we have on child. A month ago my fiance packed and left and I am afraid of being alone in the house. Even though my daughter is around, when she goes out to play with her friends, there's this emptiness and fear because I am alone in the house. Is anybody out there living alone in a house? Do you like it? Help me cope.
  20. Chibby33
    Everytime you think about her and her new b/f, say to yourself or even shout "IT'S OK. IT DOESN'T MATTER!"
  21. Chibby33
    Remember what I just advised you Kimber - MOVE IN A FORWARD DIRECTION!! You dont need to figure out his motivations - you already saw his ACTIONS. What difference does it make to know his reasons?? Why does it matter? At the end of the day it's up to you if you want to spend time analyzing the useless and unknown or proceed to heal yourself. You are in control, drive the Kimber machine!!
  22. Chibby33
    DO NOT BUT THAT RING! I was married and let me tell you, what you're going through is a recipe for disaster. When you get the slightest doubt, RUN!
  23. Chibby33
    7OUT - GOOD FOR YOU! Resist the urge to comminicate. Not because you want revenge, but YOU need time to analyze her actions towards you without having her around. I called and sent texts to my ex b/f for a week after he packed and left. Got tired of it, decided that I need to take over and drive my own life. I stopped communicating, stopped replying to his calls. Felt good, we didnt end up back together, but at least I showed him and myself that I am in control of my life. YOU create your own happiness and do not depend on someone else. TAKE CHARGE 7OUT!!
  24. Chibby33
    Thank you both for the encouragement. I know there will be times that I will break a bit so I intend to print your replies and keep it close to me for emergency! It's amazing how one can find comfort from absolute strangers.
  25. Chibby33
    Stop analyzing and clinging to his final words and actions. This will only confuse yourself and hurt you more if you dont get what you hoped for. You are strong - we know that because you have come forward to talk about it instead of hurting yourself. I promise you, in a few months you will look back and laugh about the whole thing. Continue to move in a forward direction, keep reading the replies from us, strangers who are going or have gone through the same thing. Cherish the bliss you gained - you may not feel it now but let time do its work.
×
×
  • Create New...