Relax

Accept that you are perfect, beautiful and strong, focus on your good qualities instead of feeling down. What things do you like to do and feel happy?,You see you have the ability to feel good about yourself, If you think he is not going to change then why not looking for someone else instead of being hurt.

Our relationship with a significant other or life partner does not determine our happiness. Our own thoughts determine our happiness. So, why not choose thinking that will support our highest celebration of our self?

Acknowledge that it's over. However things ended between you and your lover, you need to acknowledge that for now at least, things are over between you. You may not want to give up hope yet and hold on to the thought that your lover will return one day, but you need to accept that for now, right now, you will need to be facing life without him or her, day by day. Acceptance of loss is one of the first steps to grieving, any grieving. Allow your feelings to be whatever they are - loss, rage, hurt, sadness, or nothingness - but keep your thinking clear. He has gone and you need to live your life, one day at a time, without them. If you still have hopes that you can win them back this still applies to you. Accept how things are for now and get back on your feet. Being a clingy emotional mess won't bring your lover back.

markfromark I really feel you, I understand how hard it will be for you to trust women. When you trust somebody and then they end up hurting you it just make sense to rationalize that every woman is like that. You know the problem here is how you focus on your feelings, you make a simple unconscious logic argument that "since ex wife left me ( hurt) then any woman will do the same some day , so I should left her first (so that I won't feel hurt). One of the best way to get out of this is to associate yourself with a new woman. Association means imagining the inscident happening while involved it you will feel like it's happening not like in a movie where you are just an observer. Find a quiet place where you won't be interrupted. remember the time when your new lady promise you something ( it could be anything). While associating ( hearing her, seeing her, feeling her as in touch) yourself in that inscidence say to yourself I trust you, I trust you. Imagine the other inscident and say those words. This will help to build trust pattern in your maind to a new woman. P.S To learn more about how our mind works check my post at

Good to hear that, you see this is the time to really get to know yourself, I've come to a point in mylife that whenever I have any problem I ask myself what can I learn from this , how can I use this to make myself stronger. It is good to hear this rare character tobetterdays

Some time we don't let go of relationships, because we keep thinking it was our fault that it ended. If we had only done more, or talked more, or not done this thing or that thing, then maybe we'd still be together with the loved one and all would be bliss. No. Guilt is a horrible emotion which keeps people locked into negative thinking thats why it is important to NC.If you don't you will create a false hope on your ex and it will hurt more. If you don't NC you will be like opening your broken heart for more pain.

It will always hurt, It's like deliberately keep pinching yourself with a hot niddle

Your life may be impacted right accross the board. You will grieve, and all of your emotions are valid and you will need time to work through them. You will need to do whatever you need to do to get through it. You will grieve and you will cry, you may be scared and angry, and you will probably go through extreme emotional ranges but It will levels out

Yes there is a way to forget your ex quickly, I'll explain here why it is possible to do that. It might be something new for many of you but it is possible , I actually used this technique to forget my ex girlfriend two years ago. First let me make this clear When I say to forget I mean to change the meaning/ interpretation of the memories the memory could be there but instead of having painful memories you will have some insignificant experience. Our brain (mind) receceives information from our outside world ( things we can touch, hear, see, taste and smell) throgh five senses( eye, ear, nose,tongueand skin). Once the information is received it get processed and interpreted ( that is when we get to understand what kind of smell or what kind of texture we feel or what kind of sound we hear) Basically it is not what we see that is real but rather what our mind interpret that ia real to us. So for example if you are a color blind then what ever your mind interprete it will be real to you. So back to our topic if memories are interpreted in a way that trigger pain then you will feel pain Another thing you have to know is that our mind is like a big file cabinet, when you think about something you actually give a command ( It's like turn a switch on) to your mind to go to that cabinet to check if there is any file like that. if there is no one nothing happen, you don't feel anything. This is the reason why when you buy a new car or purse you tend to see so many of them, before you bought that car / purse you didn't even notice that there was one. your mind did't have a file (picture) of that car/ purse One more thing, ( I know I already have too many of these so far but bare with me) We keep our memories in sound or pictures. Since these pictures/sound are like our files cabinet, changing the pictures ( puting different color for example) will permanetly change our memories. So laboheme inorder to forget your ex memories quickly you need to picture your ex infront of you, bright and clear then make that image darker and darker as you move that image backwards until it disappear. Do the same exercise several time eeach time make it even faster. You can do the same for sound ( just reduce the volume) Hope you understand.

Just like your user name STAND TALL, you can't be friends. A human heart once 'broken' can be mended, time (and there is a way to reduce this time close to few minutes) heals a broken heart, and a new relationship -in some cases- also heals a broken heart

Maintain a strict no contact policy and stick with it. Don’t pass notes through friends. Don’t make any calls. Stay away from instant messaging or texting on your cell. Just don’t contact your ex until you are totally and completely sure you no longer want to be with him or her. It is the only way.

Remember what's good about you. This one is really important. Sometimes people with broken hearts start to blame themselves for what's happened. They may be really down on themselves, exaggerating their faults as though they did something to deserve the unhappiness they're experiencing. If you find this happening to you, nip it in the bud! Remind yourself of your good qualities, and if you can't think of them because your broken heart is clouding your view, get your friends to remind you. Take good care of yourself. A broken heart can be very stressful so don't let the rest of your body get broken too. Get lots of sleep, eat healthy foods, and exercise regularly to minimize stress and depression and give your self-esteem a boost.

You need to suggest to yourself that you are the man that women love. You can do this by writing/saying a statement several times, something like "I'm a man women love". By repeating this statement several times (100times) it will stick into your subconscious mind and then, it will go on autopilot. You will just find youself have a confident you never have before. love yourself as a man, respect yourself. Women love a man who respect himself. I can go on to show you how to be a man, women love but I want you to do this yourself go to link removed to read some articles that will help you. That is the biggest asset you will have as a man is "DON'T BE NEEDY" Women can smell that from a mile.They might no know it but they will feel unconfortable or insecured around you Wish you all the best.

That's what I'm talking about, you transformed your pain in to something constractive. You see, emotions have energy, you can transform the same energy from feeling sad into feeling happy and successful.

Well, what I can say is that use this as an opportunity for you to learn. You know life teaches very different from what we learn in school. It teaches through pain but throgh pain you can learn faster and will never do the same mistake again. Use this time to become a better person, use your emotion to know who you really are deep down.

No contact rule is a must, especially when an ex is abusive, Blane151211 you just got burned you don't wanna put your fingers on a hot stove, are you? Put away any kind of contact because if you don't you will trigger the urge to contact your ex and get more burned. The idea is to find a way to get out, Take care.

Well, as far as how long it's going to take for you to forget it depends on how you focus. If you spend most of your time thinking about your ex then it's going to take you a long time to forget but if you shift your thought on something else then you will recover quickly.

Well I feel you... but it is unethical to hurt sombody else feelings, you can't just do what you think is right for you while you are still committed to somebody else heart. As Issac Newton said for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Just be ready when your time comes. I'm not try to be a pain but just take it as a lesson, use this time to learn about yourself, your weakness and your strength. During this time learn to become a better person. If you think the new guy is for real then keep going, just be careful though.