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Beaker5

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  1. Thanks Dako, in the mirror, Wandering Sword, and caro33 I really appreciate your responses in the mirror: So your ex tried talking to you even after a year and a half of no contact? caro33: I wouldn't want to move because this apartment is great and I actually moved from a crappy one to this one where I have my own room and have plenty of time and space to study. Also, I think talking to him is completely out of the question. I really wouldn't care if I never spoke to him again, unless it was him apologizing and admitting everything that he did, which I think he'll never do..so that's pointless. I agree about that clash from the past thing...It just get me really upset that I was so gullible and chose to believe that he wasn't cheating when in fact he was. Do you guys think he'll ever admit it though? Like do you think he'll ever try to talk to me out of regret for what he did? Is that what people usually do? I'm just asking this because some of my friends have told me that their exes have returned to them after a while when something negative happened to them (I guess they start reflecting on their past) and they begin to apologize. Do you think my ex will do that?
  2. I don't think she's cheating with her girlfriend but she could quite possibly not want to be in the relationship anymore. Actually, with the way she's been treating you, she most likely doesn't want to be in the relationship anymore. Maybe it's because she's been hanging out with her friends more and is enjoying her freedom or maybe it is because she has found someone else. I would get out soon before she hurts you anymore. She's obviously immature and is being inconsiderate of your feelings. She may even be insecure and is treating you like crap to make herself feel better..who knows.... I don't know...I'm sure someone with more experience could give you better advice. good luck!
  3. Hi guys, It's me again. Today was a strange day because my ex was on my mind more than usual. If you remember, he dumped me for another girl on June 2006. Well, since I moved to a different section of campus, I realized that my exboyfriend lives two quads away from me. So as you can probably tell, I've been avoiding him like the plague, always looking around before I leave and when I'm returning to my room...and once I saw him walking from far away towards my direction so I went completely around campus just to avoid him. Well, now I'm starting to wondering if I'm doing the no contact thing correctly..Imean, it's suposed to help the person heal faster and I felt that way for a while but since I've moved here, he's been in my mind a bit more and one night, I couldn't sleep because he was on my mind. Well, today, after class, I was walking back to my apartment when I saw him from a relatively close distance and I immediately stopped before I ran into him and acted like I was tying my shoes, then I realized he increased his speed and practically powerwalked to his apartment. I also started walking toward my apartment but at a very slow pace so that the distance between him and I could increase. So it's pretty obvious that he's avoiding me as much as I've been avoiding me. Which is great! But today, I started thinking about how he had treated me and how many times he hurt me and how he cheated on me and I've just been really down.](*,) This started to make me wonder when I was finally going to get over it and if I already had my closure. Can you have closure without talking to the person? And do you think I should have gotten over him already (Since June 2006 and it was a 3 year relationship)? I'm also starting to think that the whole no contact thing just works to a certain extent but doen't prepare you for when you see the person by accident. It's almost like running away from your problems; when you come back, your problems are still there.
  4. lol wow...thanks friscodj...yes. Now I really do feel a lot better. You're really good at that. thanks again. \\ yay!
  5. hahaha...Thanks musicguy and RedQueen....you guys are actually making making me smile. yay!
  6. lol...I know what you're trying to do...you're trying to cheer up.... And its actually working... well..some of my interests are martial arts, horror, science fiction, and fantasy related stuff, arts and crafts, astronomy and marine biology, and science in general my career goals consist of getting my doctorate degree in physics eventually and going into research and moving to France laaaater on.
  7. lol...I really can't think of what I like about myself right now...because my mind is full of negative thoughts but here's my attept.... I like my interests I like my field of study I like my family I guess that's it. Also, thanks BYOB
  8. Hi friscodj, Yes, you're right..I am just focusing on my negative aspects right now but I have fallen into a self loathing cycle and can't seem to get out. I guess it must have been triggered by the fact that I've been thinking about how I have to wait for everything (and I know its normal and a lot of other people have to wait) but I've been waiting my whole life to be happy. But maybe what I think will make me happy, actually won't....maybe it'll just be temporary and I'll just be miserable again. I don't know... maybe I'll just never be content with myself. And ever since my ex left me, I've lost my passion for the thing I held in such high regards (my future). I have so many dreams and plans and I've just lost my motivation. I'm probably not making much sense right now.
  9. perhaps I'm just exaggerating but perhaps I'm not. I don't know but I'm just pissed right now
  10. lol...why thank you musicguy. That's just it though, I SOUND like a beautiful woman...but I am in fact not a beautiful woman to sight
  11. *I guess I should have said uphill since it would be more difficult to go up a hill but I guess I said down because I do feel down
  12. Hi guys Warning: This is a Rant and I'm just writing down everything without actually processing what I'm writing. So here goes: I am very very miserable right now in my life. I am currently a college student and life seems downhill and I seem to be waiting for my life to end. Why? I don't know. But Here are a few things that frustrate me and have been frustrating me: 1. My boyfriend dumped me in June 2006 and I still think of him even though I immediately started no contact when he dumped me and he was a jerk and a cheater but I already mentioned that in a past post. 2. Any guy that shows interest in me seems to lose interest as soon as they start to attempt to get to know me. It must be because of my shyness and their lack of patience in actually taking the time to wait until the other person feels comfortable enough to open up. Oh well...too bad for me. 3. I am a broke joke. I have no money to do certain things. One of the things that I have been waiting to do is get my chemical peel on my face (as recommended by dermatologist) because I suffer from hyperpigmentation and I get acne scars from all of my acne...so you could imagine all the dark spots on my disgusting face. My parents don't help either because they're always criticizing me for it but as stated by my dermatologist, my acne is genetic....so that frustrates me even further. Well, the insurance doesn't cover the chemical peel so I have to wait until I or my parents have money...(I'm planning on using my income tax to do this) So yes...finally...but I'm honestly tired of waiting. Because of my acne problem, I tend to look down a lot because I guess I'm mentally trying to hide my face (even though it doesn't really work). I also have acne on my back and acne scars and I can't wear spaghetti straps or any clothes that is revealing because it would be disgusting to even see my acne. 4. I am also waiting to have a reduction mammaplasty. I just finished my physical therapy sessions and now my physical therapist has sent me to get an Xray and an MRI done so I am taking all of the steps needed to have the insurance approve my surgery. The reason why I am having my surgery is because I actually do have back pains because of the size of my breasts so it causes me to hunch over. I am also not comfortable by the physical appearance of my chest so I try to hide it by wearing loose fitting clothing. So here I am waiting. Waiting to have my miserable surgery. 5. I have gained weight..not too much...just about 15 pounds a while ago but I am a petite girl so it is quite obvious. I started going to the gym this semester but after a stressful situation with my previous roommates and my appointments with the physical therapist, I have stopped going. Now that I'm done, I haven't been able to force myself to go back to the gym...and I actually did start feeling really good when I was going. I guess the reason why I haven't been back is because I know that since I haven't been there in such a long time, it will be harder and I won't be able to workout as easily and as long as I used to. 6. I have slight orthodontal relapse that bothers me and that I see as temporary ( A small gap in between my two front teeth). I had braces when I was younger but due to my tongue thrusting, this gap formed. I went back to my orthodontist and he gave me a video that would correct my tongue thrusting and I haven't been doing the exercises. It is supposed to work in 3 months. I am a lazy, pathetic person. 7. I can't wear revealing bathing suits (if I ever did decide to go to the beach) because I have stretch marks. Yes..I have stretch marks and it's genetic and its simply that the dermis is stretched and if the elasticity (caused by collagenous and elastic fibers in the skin) is not sufficient then you will end up with these nasty scars. I got mine during puberty. Lucky me. So it's not like it's disgusting to have stretch marks...they're simply scars. That's it. Well, I guess that's it. That's the temporary end of my rant. I've revealed everything but who cares. Like I said before, I've grown tired of life and I really feel like I should just sit here and wait for it to be over. I'm miserable and I feel hopeless. Thanks for listening.
  13. Hi guitarhero. It's true about the internet thing. So do you think shy people are slower at responding? Could it be because they are not as receptive as people that are not shy? I'll definitely try telling them or him. But shouldn't it be obvious?
  14. You know airtight python, you're probably right about shy people being attracted to other shy people. Like sometimes I wonder why and how my ex and I started going out but he is a loner as well so that's probably what he found attractive about me.
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