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LONESOUL

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  1. LONESOUL
    Well then it's all settled. Today by popular vote and as proclaimed by none other than "the cat" DYT is best ever, forever and ever. (oh and I think John should have the drums too) Desert, does the cat play an instrument?
  2. LONESOUL
    Friscodi is dead on it. She did you a favor although it so hard for you to feel that way right now, we understand. Try not to beat yourself up too much, it's time to take care of yourself. Time to grow. You will come out of this a stronger person and you will know the things not to do next time around. Take good Care Lone
  3. LONESOUL
    Hey~ she's got my vote!
  4. LONESOUL
    Hey thanks guys~ really it means allot! I feel pretty good Camber, not bad at'll...I have so many wonderful people in my life, family, friends~really allot of "good" to reflect on at 40, it's a good feeling. Like I said, I could not have imagined I would feel this good 6 months ago. I still have bad days, but I know life is so worth living and that there is so so much good to come. Take good Care~ Lone
  5. LONESOUL
    Why thank you John~ Lets hope so, Mr. Pitkin. Take good Care~ Lone
  6. LONESOUL
    I just can't see trusting someone and being betrayed, and then trusting that same person again. My mind won't allow it~no matter what my heart says. I think I can trust again, but not in someone who has already shown me they are not trust worthy. Take good Care~ Lone
  7. LONESOUL
    John, Thank you. Wow. I am so so glad you came here!! Good for you, reaching out to help someone else. (again!)Watch for the rebound, thats not usually real helpful, but other than that all I hear is good news from you. Keep doing what you are doing! Today is my 40th birthday, if anyone would have told me I would be feeling this okay right after my break up happened 6 months ago I would have thought them to be crazy...but time heals...it does, and friends along the way make all the difference. Looking forward to counting the starts with you guys and gals~ Take good care Lone
  8. LONESOUL
    Hi Camber~ The bad days suck, they really do and my heart goes out to you friend. 5 years is a very long time~and we know you share something very special in your son. That will not change, you are his parents and will always be. He was born of what you shared, and it's a good thing. Take comfort in knowing that, and in knowing he is loved. I'm not sure at what point I accepted the the fact that my ex no longer wanted to be in a realtionship with me, and or more importantly, that I could not do anything to change her mind. We were together for 7 years, but I stayed the last two for her son. She actually stopped wanting to be a couple about 4 years in, it was a hard time for me. It took me the other 3 years to finally accept that it was over. I too felt we were soulmates. The thing is Camber, for the time she made the decision that she no longer wanted to be with me it was already over. SHE had changed, I was holding on to what I percieved to be "us", "her" but it was not ever the same. You will know when you have had enough. I don't mean that to slam your ex or pass judgement, thats not for me to do. But the kind of love that you yern for can no longer be found with this woman, because she for whatever reason is no longer willing to partake. It will be for you to deciede when you will overcome your anguish. My immedate thought/guess for you Camber, having read your threads, would that you will do this when you realize that not letting go is actually not going to help your son. He needs both parents true~but just because he doesn't see arguing, that doesn't mean he gets the full effect of having parents who are happy, happy in their lives. Kids know that I think. They know allot more then we give them credit for. You have to let her go Camber. Even if it is just to find out what she was looking for was right there the whole time. Until you do, she will never know, and she will not be content until she finds out. You are going have to make some decisions. It won't be easy~but you will be okay. You will be okay Camber! (oh and once you have healed, you will connect on that level with someone again, if that is what you choose, You will not spend you days wondering what you can say or do to keep her from leaving) You have things you need to be working on for yourself, we all do... use your time wisely for that. Take good Care~ Lone
  9. LONESOUL
    TBD~yep, she put herself back into short term memory by texting you. Shake it off. You know you can. Take Good Care Lone
  10. LONESOUL
    Oh okay so you are apart? Okay I get that now, I had to re read. Yes, I remember feeling that way too, still do at times. I will tell that after spending 1 1/2 half years with someone I am sure that you enter her mind from time to time. But, she is no longer a part of your life. You are free now to make yourself whatever it is you want to be for the next woman you want to be with. Try not to thionk about what your ex is doing~it doesn't matter. What positive things have you done for yourself since the break up? What sort of things do you do to keep yourself busy?
  11. LONESOUL
    Nope Desert you're right, you can't be a nun, they don't let psyco kitty's do that.
  12. LONESOUL
    Hi again Zach, a year and a half is a long time. It's very hard sometimes to see things clearly when you are still involved. If you want to remain a couple I would strongly suggest some counciling, it sounds as if you both deal with anger by phyically lashing out. That of course is not acceptable nor will it ever work. We can't lay our hands on one another and expect to be in loving heathy realtionships~that just isn't how it works. If you want to split (which I think may be your best bet at this point) they I would suggest a period of no contact for you to take some time to really look at your relationship and yourself and see things in a different light. You may end up feeling like you both deserve better then what things have been in the past and at that point you can deceide if you want to try that together again, or stay apart. Read here often and post when you feel you need you need to. Know that you deserve to be happy~ Take Good Care Lone
  13. LONESOUL
    Zach, Welcome to ENA. I'm sorry you are having a hard time. I am also very sorry for the loss of your friend. That is always very hard. I have to be honest I'm a little concerned though, it sounds like your relationship gets very violent at times. Thats not a heathy situation to be in. How long have the two of you been together? You say you are 22, is this your first serious relationship? Let us know Take good Care~ Lone
  14. LONESOUL
    Camber~about the fences. Ever heard Desperado? Honestly, it's cliche' but we build fences, both physically and emotionally. We do this both to protect what we value and to show ownership or boundries, no? But sometimes, these fences we build, they keep us locked in I think, we refuse to climb down and open the gate, because we feel safe inside our fences~or on top of them, we are fearful of the other side..even if wehere we are is no longer good or good for us. We have to climb down, walk through to better life where we can whole and meet that someone to love us. We deserve it. So cliche' or not, here you go : Desperado, why don't you come to your senses You've been out ridin' fences, for so long - now. Ohh you're a hard one. I know that you've got your reasons. These things that are pleasin'you Can hurt you somehow. Don't you draw the queen of diamonds boy She'll beat you if she's able. You know the queen of hearts is always your best bet. Now it seems to me, some fine things Have been laid upon your table. But you only want the ones That you can't get. Desperado, Ohhhh you aint getting no younger. Your pain and your hunger, They're driving you home. And freedom, ohh freedom. Well that's just some people talking. Your prison is walking through this world all alone. Don't your feet get cold in the winter time? The sky won't snow and the sun won't shine. It's hard to tell the night time from the day. And you're losing all your highs and lows aint it funny how the feeling goes away... Desperado, Why don't you come to your senses? COME NOT CLIMB down from your fences, open the gate. It may be rainin', but there's a rainbow above you. You better let somebody love you. (let sombody love you) You better let somebody love you...ohhh..hooo before it's too..oooo.. late. Take good Care~ Lone
  15. LONESOUL
    DYT~ I'm in great company here aren't I? These folks are a fantastic support system, and I am very fortunate to be going through this period of change with them to both to guide me and share my heavy load. I'm not sure where I would have been on this path without the good people of ENA. I thank you all for your support~and I am here and in and extending both hands to each of you as well.. I have no answers, but I have friends. I accept your challange to gaze at 9:00 pm on November the 30th and hope that you will be joining us. I have to go.. I am looking for something to switch out with Camber's orange when he is not looking! Take good care~ Lone
  16. LONESOUL
    Winter, yep, I'm thinking...bitter, now thats the path..lol! Okay I'm kidding, well , mostly~ Take good care~ Lone
  17. LONESOUL
    I don't agree with this saying. I loved, I lost, it hurt like h*ll. How the heck is that better? I think maybe thats just where I am right now in my life today.. Ignorance is bliss, now there is a saying for me! Take good Care~ Lone
  18. LONESOUL
    John, Great news, thanks for the update! Sounds like you had a good holiday. Camber's orange story is good one I agree. He should read it again himself maybe ehh? we are all in this together! Take good care~ Lone
  19. LONESOUL
    TBD~I'm gald you worked through it. I think you did the right thing. Take good care~ Lone
  20. LONESOUL
    Hey Winter! I'm glad you checked in as well. Good to hear the snow is making you feel a bit better. Maybe it's like a cleansing of some sort. I'm down here in North Carolina, the leaves are pretty much gone now and I am very glad to see the change of season as well. Out with the old, in with the new. Take Good Care~ Lone
  21. LONESOUL
    Hi Camber~I'm glad you had a good holiday with your son and your family! Sounds like a tough place to be..I don't know how well I would fair with that.. (living in the same house and all) I hope they (your family) respected your feelings on "bashing" your wife, it sounds as if you feel strongly about that. I don't know if they will get easier Camber. But I know they will at least move forward. The other day you talked about that "fence" remember? Thats the thing about the fence, it's kinda safe enough alright~ in that you don't really have to "face forward" if you don't want to. But a fence is a fence. It doesn't move at all, and sometimes they keep the bad in and the good out...when it may have been built for quite the oppisite. You say maybe you need to just let go. Are you trying to prevent her departure? How many times have you asked her to try again? Take good care~ Lone
  22. LONESOUL
    okay, where is everybody today? Check in from holiday...John, camber, Z, whoops, everyone else, how is everyone??
  23. LONESOUL
    I feel the same way. I have total burn out. Meeting deadlines left and right but at what cost? I'm taking some time, I'm just doing it. Life is too short. Take good care~ Lone
  24. LONESOUL
    John~yes, it just gets no where, sitting and dwelling on it. It doesn't change anything. I know I am broken hearted and I know I hurt, but I can do things to help myself feel a little better, it's up to me, so thats my thing this year. I wish there was a magic potion, or a healing doctor somehwere I could hike 40 miles uphill in the mountian to and find who could give me a special tooth necklace to fix our hearts or something, but unless you have a map to that guy...this what we have. Humanity~love~botherhood of man and of of our family's and of our friends, Not so bad really? Right? Not so bad at all. You have a nice holiday as well. You deserve to be happy, don't forget that. Take Good Care~ Lone
  25. LONESOUL
    I feel exactly the same as Ellie2006. I'm a yo yo on this one... Take good care~ Lone.
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