LONESOUL

Keep plugging at NCtuskie, you can get through this. You did bootcamp. Stay ON the Navy if that is what is want, if it isn't, figure out what it is you do want and go get it. (the ex does not count here) Don't stop until you get there, no looking back if you can help it. Stay as busy as you can. Take good care. (glad you were a little better so quickly, same thing happened to me yesterday after posting, I guess I just needed to get something out...)

Welcome welcome welcome Thatbs!! We are really glad to have you aboard. This train's next stop is a healthy healed heart, no clue how long it will take to reach our destination, but this train does not have reverse, so sit back and relax, and spend some time healing yourself and talking with others who are doing the same and are here both to support and to be of support!! Nobody else new today want to hop on??? Take good care

Desert~your ex really lost allot...too bad for her. Believe me, I feel your pain. I still cry everyday. everyday. Today I'm a little pissed, but thats just been the mood for the morning, I'm trying to brighten the day up a bit in my head, thinking of things that I can do now that she is gone, without having to get ANYONE's approval. That part of this is very nice. Think about the negitive stuff about your ex...heres one, she left you for some other dude and you are a wonderful person who did not deserve that~period!! My ex was brash and abrasive, just plain loud, she used to embarrass me all the time....and she would not have a clue of the meaning of the word "honest" and would have to look it up just to ignore it anyway...GOODBYE to you EX!!!~ I loved you, but it's your loss and if you were too "whatever' to know and apprecate and return that love, then shame on me for waiting and staying so long...but I'm gone now~and life will go on!!! Back to focusing on the people who matter.. US!!!!!

MBINSF~only if you enjoy living in H E double hockey sticks, and want to stay there for good. Then I would say TBD's option one, is a good choice. Otherwise, lets explore door number two, shall we?

Desert, I wouldn't contact my ex, but I have already said that. I would strongly examine why I was still caring at all about her credit. When my ex and I were together I totally re did our den, from floors to walls to furniture, all of it...it took weeks. My ex is a slob, I'm sure she wrecked everything I worked so hard to do. But guess what, it's hers to wreck now.

it all part of letting go, I happen to think it's all normal. I get up, and I get down, most of the time I am one or the other, not too much time spent in the middle, where I think daily life mostly exists. It's getting there, it's slow. I posted on the NC thread today that I feel a little numb, but I know the feelings are just below the surface...I just refuse to sit around crying about it much more~I mean although I needed time to grieve (and still do at times) it just became unproductive and nothing good was coming of it. It's over. I think that might be a good thing for me now.

I see what you are saying about her leaving you the money, but she is a grown woman. She made her choices, you even gave her the heads up once. I wouldn't contact, but thats just my opinion.

TBD~good post, very true, very honest. I would like to pick door number two please. Lone

In my opinion you should not, you are not responsible for her, unless your name is somehow linked to that line of credit, then that might be different.

it's all part of the process of beginning a new. It can be very exciting. It can be very frightening. I have to force myself to do things right now, but, for the most part I do that. I have even caught myself smiling and having a good time (STOP that! lol) I don't know, but I feel better sometimes than I did before NC and I don't cry at the drop of a hat, most days, so I'm going to keep pressing on, and I am going to keep forcing myself to do things and not to sit around thinking about it too much. (although i have my moments when I feel I need that, and I allow myself to do it, for a bit...and then i make MYSELF stop. This is not an easy road to walk, but it leads somewhere and I have walked enough of it now to not to turn back, I want to know whats up there, up ahead where I cannot see yet. By the way NC is the only way to go for me...I wish I had done it from the start.

Shake it off, it was something you felt you had to do, and you did it. If it made you feel badly, try to learn from it. Don't beat yourself up, be good to YOU, you have been though allot~Take good care

Spader~I quit smoking 5 months ago, 2 months before my break up. I have stuck to it, so far, but I tell ya it's rough sometimes! Take good care

I hope everything works out for you. I know that you are going through a hard time, just know that you are not alone, and that the hard times don't last forever...it will get better. take good care.

My ex was actually, finally,being honest. I am not sure what yours is doing Danman. But I wonder why we would want to be with people who could openly deny us what everone really truly deserves~real love. And I thought that was okay. I thought she would come around, she just didn't know she loved me, the way I loved her. That was not ever going to happen, and because I chose to hold on to those false hope for a very long time, I really caused myself a whole lot (and I mean a whole lot) of pain. For me, I just want more than to settle for that and someone who would not cherish me, the way I do her.

Donster~been reading your posts. You are well written~ I hope you are doing okay. Going through the same thing with our (my ex and I)friends. Start over, and take the few good ones with you. Good luck with the game in few weeks~I hope you win. I'll refrian from saying I hope you hit him with a nice hard serve or something...but..

Danman~ I'm sorry you are hurting. I am sure that right now you do not want someone else. Me either. I do not want someone else either. But the thing is my ex isn't in love with me, she loves me, but she isn't in love, so I have no choice but to let it go, and heal and hope that someday my love, my in love love, will be returned, because anything less than that, will just be, well, less. It took me 7 years to figure that out...3 of them with her telling me she loved me but was not in love...I stayed anyway, NO WAY i should have and NO WAY I would ever do that to myself again. Take good care.

Desert, I felt crazy when I was with my ex. She was very possessive, and yet she did whatever she wanted to...she walked all over me~for 7 years. I couldn't even go to lunch with the people I work with without her accusing me of waiting to sleep with someone. It was stupid, so stupid. She would check my cell phone, she would call my friends if I did not answer, it was bad. I felt so stupid. I'm not sure why I got so depressed each time we split, I really am SO much better off. My ex was allot of fun, when she was in a good mood and life was going okay, or there was a party. Times like those I could not have had a better partner...we had great times. BUT she never really loved me...she used me, for allot of things...allot. I guess I still just miss the dream of what we could have been...if she had been well, SANE. It hurts, and it hurt allot everyday~but I am not turning back (not that there is anything to turn back to anyway) But if I tried she would just say that I was crazy and I would not let her go...and she would proabaly have me locked up. (she has been calling ME though, a few times here latley..but I don't answer.. she just needs someone to dump on, or to fix something or to vent on or yell at...or worst of all confuse~because she thrives off knowing she had that power over me)

mbinsf~great, I hope your laptop was insured...sleep is very important. Are you trying to do things at night to wear yourself out? I am kind of going through the same thing...well sort of. I needed some meds at first, so my doctor perscribed me xanax, but I am horrible at taking pills, for some reason they knock me on my butt. So, I could only take them at night. (which is okay~they helped me sleep) I have some left but I am trying to wean myself off them completely so the last few nights have been up and down, toss and turn, cry and think. Not good....but I keep reminding myself~temporary. I hope your day gets some better, maybe with that nap

Yeah, well, some people suck. Thanks though! I will, you too. It is an illusion of sorts, in that I think it was real, even for us. But it wasn't the REAL one as in, the one to last forever. Mornings were so rough for me for MONTHS. (it's been 11 weeks broken up...3 weeks NC today) I have no idea why because my ex was a real pain in the a** in the morning...lol...oh and the afternoon evening and night. But, I loved her anyway like a damn fool~gave her all I had...uggg. My ex was and is so messed up though, really, just a screwed up person. In that way it might be a little easier for me. We actually tried to split 3 times over 7 years, this being the 3rd and LAST. We never made it more than 2 days without talking before this last break. (She has moved on though, she thinks she cannot be alone. Some people think that way.) The 2nd time I became sucidal...I promised myself I would never let her put me there again, and I didn't and I haven't. (for the mosty part...weeeks 3 and 4 we're if'y) I just cannot let myself get that low. She is not worth it, no one is!!

it's a really hard first step, and a good one. You should be proud of yourself for beginning the process of healing. Take good care.

Desert, thats so true. I feel completely out of sorts, I live in a different place then the home I had for 7 years. I miss my ex, I miss my ex's son, I miss the cat. I miss whipping my car into my spot in the driveway...I miss allot. But the thing is, I can't have all that back. It wasn't the right match for me, even though sometimes it really felt it. If it had been ~my ex would not have been able to do the things to me that my ex did. There is no place to go but forward for me...and those little baby steps are getting me that much closer to feeling better, and to freedom from this hell~so I will take them, painfull as they are. (And they are!) So whats going on with you today? Just got yourself the major the blues? It happens, we all get sad from time to time, but itis temporary. It won't last forever. You will get stronger. My inconsiderate friend seems to love to shove my ex in my face whenever possible~so I have a fun dealing with that today. whew...they say that which does not kill us makes us stronger...I must be freaking Atlas by now...

Yeah! Whooo, look what happened while I was sleeping. Good for you EVERYBODY! Myk, mbinsf, Spader, Riley99!!!!...aturusguy, you on? Whooo inspiring!! To wonderful lives ahead...and to people helping us up that hill as we go!! Desert, could NOT have said that better myself...this train is for all, no matter what stage, who knows or even thinks they deserve better and who wants to look FORWARD!! TBD...way to go man...way to go!!!

lol..now that was a wonderful shove I am sure, finewhine!! Sorry to hear you are low today, but finewhine is right, the best is waiting right around the corner. That person just wasn't the right one...but hang in there~it will get better.

Anytime Desert~ Glad to have you back aboard my friend! Conductor TBD, he's on~ lets ride this steel pony! (lord, maybe I SHOULD be drinking LOL!!!)

(railway whistle!!! whooo whooo!!! h*ll Yeah!!) Go TBD...!!!!! You heard him Desert~back on this train!!!