LONESOUL
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Everything posted by LONESOUL
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***sigh*** I'm ready for the weekend, it's been a long week. The ex is moving to the beach next week, she's packing this weekend. This is all so difficult, I kinda hate that she called me about that cat because now I know that she is moving~ah the "ignorance is bliss" part of NC is such a good thing. (IMO) . (but I'm glad she called because I can't imagine the cat living with anyone me if she doesn't keep her) I bought a "bucket" (yep) of margarita mix and added the tequilla last night and put it in the fridge. It's overcast here and I am filled with an overwhelm sense of "This is it?" Somebody break wind or something, I need a laugh.
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Hi Winter, I'm sorry you are having a hard time. I know that other then the death of someone I loved very much, my break up is the heardest thing I have ever been through. The cycles suck. Have you been keeping busy? I started to let my guard down a little and give my mind more free thinking time then I should have too early on, I think it set me back a bit~thats why I asked. Time to think isn't always our friend. But the passing of time, now thats a different story! Hang there, post more often because we are all here for you. You can do it. Take good care~ Lone
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Oh dang I didn't even see that date....wow. Hey Ren, glad you're better! Take good Care~ Lone
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Good Morning, it was raining here. I saw not the first star, but I sat in quiet peace and thought about the person I was, and the person I want to become. I thought about loving, and about the secure feeling you get when you hold hands with the person who holds your heart. I thought about betrayal, and about deception. I thought about the war, and about my blessings. I thought my friends, old and new~and wondered if they are where they wanted to be. I hoped that they were. I told myself it was okay to continue to let go~
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Hi Ren~I'm sorry you're having a hard time. Do you have the piggies with you out there? I'm sorry, I don't know much of your history. I'm sorry you are going to be missing your best friend, Mine best friend lives in Florida, I am in North Carolina. We have been pals since 7th grade. (I just turned 40) I miss her everytime I leave. She's married and has her own life too, but we have a very special bond, and always will. I always alway get pretty choked up when I leave~I miss her and I miss hanging out. I'm glad it's not 15 years ago when it cost .30 a min to call long distance and it took 5 days to get a letter!! Maybe try to make plans to see one another again before you go, that way, you have something to look forward to. I'm sorry that you are upset your bf broke up with you. Thats always painful, did you want to talk about that. Take good Care~ Lone
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2001, I'm sorry, no one can tell you why your ex is doing what she is doing, but the thing is, she can't DO anything to you, if you don't look at the myspace. The only power she can have over you is the power you give her.
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nite John~I'll drink to your health!
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Jayar~I am always very impressed with the strengh you show while posting. You know the answer is no to call, and yes, I think he will notice...but who cares. Keep doing what you are doing, you are inspiring and courageous and are helping others as you help yourself! Take good care~ Lone
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2001~wow we have allot in common. I turned 40 on Tuesday, no word from the ex..(In my case thats proabaly a good thing~because she called yesterday and it was not fun) I was a little upset at first but them I remember, hey we split up, she really didn't need to be calling anyway... I'm sorry you are having a hard time. It does get better. I would say yes, go back into NC. I would also remind you that NC aslo includes places like myspace, because those sights can be painful as well. I think the key to NC is to begin to remove them from your short term memory while preventing them from doing additional harm to your emotional state while healing. Post and read often and know you are not alone in this. Take good care~ Lone
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Hi Mo~I'm really sorry you are hurting so badly. Many of us are and we are right there with you like Camber said, we understand the deep hurt because we have all been there, or are still there and recovering. I urge you to read "Down I go" as well. (and join us if you like) but there are SO many good threads out there. For right now take good care of you and start reading reading reading, and posting...soon you will find yourself wanting to help others as well. You will see that you can get through this~it will take time and it will not be easy, but you will be okay. Take Good Care~ Lone
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28, negative -28, holy crap! It's 67 outside! lol I'm EST. I'm going out at 9 est. I'm very glad for you DYT, that would not be a good thing. (A distressed DYT walks into emergency room with said nipples in cup of ice...)
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Look Desert^ your 300th post, you are a senior now! lay off the liquor "old guy"! lol
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It's going to be rainy like crazy here tonight, I doubt I see a star, BUT I'll go out on the covered balcony and have a beer and think of you guys and gals and reflect on just how much we've learned. I'll ponder over the universe some...and then, I'll have another beer. 9pm. wait, is that est?
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Now that IS freaking cold! Get that looked at DYT! Quickly while things can still be reattatched! My Dad's french Canadian so I am used to it Sandyv~
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Sandyv~Billy Joel rocks and that is a great tune!
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Good Morning John~ Thanks for the article. It's a good read and very true. It's funny how something really cast us into self relfection and growth. I guess splitting up is sometimes one of those things. I am on an incredible journey filled with so many feelings and emotions, pain, hope, sadness, joy, fear, anger, peace...all of these and so many more. When you say the support is becoming less, what exactly do you mean. I know people talk about my ex less with me now, but that is because I do not bring her up and they do not want to bring up the subject if they think I am okay. Do you mean something along that line?
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Hey all, (walks to the rum, tips the empty bottle-glares at Desert and the cat...lol) I'm okay. Better today, more calm, reasonable even... A friend of mine took me out for some dinner and a drink or two. I didn't sleep well, because now I am worried about our cat (where will it go if I don't take it, it's really spoiled, soft food treat days, lots of toys, two beds, blah blah...) *****sigh**** I miss the cat anyway. I think I'm going to take the cat. (I'm such a sucker) Thanks again to everyone for coming to my emotional rescue yesterday. John, I thought allot about what you said yesterday about how nothing really changed from before the phone call. That was the initial thing that calmed me so I could think rationally. I thank you, and am /tipping my hat in return. On to the new day. How's everyone? Who has a rum hangover?
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Camber, John, Sandy, Desert, thanks you guys...I love you guys too. I don't know what I would do without this place. I know you all know how I feel... I don't feel strong enough today to handle this, but I have you guys to tell me that I am~I am grateful. forever grateful.
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why do people do this Sandy? Why? She is so so selfish you are right. I remember 7 years ago like yesterday we were sitting in her driveway, we had just come back from dinner and I was kissing her goodnight, Her son who was 10 at the time came riding up on his bike and she turned to me and said "if you take me, you take him, we are a package deal, and you will have to love him like your own" I did that dammit! I did everything she asked me to, but it was never enough. All she every wanted was no responsibilty, a party 24/7...she didn't know know who she wanted as a partner, or spouse. I supported her while she went to school, raised him while she went to school, with NO support from her. (her son did no wrong, she never wanted to be the bad parent, so she let him get away with murder, no disipline at all. None) We would fight if I told her something for his own good. (like once I told her I found a report card he hid with an f on it.. we ended up fighting all night instead of her addressing anything with him.. she just didn't want to know) So I made dinner and grocery shopped and wiped snotty noses and help with homework, shuffed to friends houses and doctors appointments and on and on, BUT I had no ay so in the way he was raised, she made all the rules. I was too strict they said. (humm, no, you may not go to a rave party and have 4 other 17 old kids spend the night on a school night. WRONG, MOm said I could....you get the picture I'm so upset. I feel lost~and pissed and out of control. I know, I pride myself on always having it together here at work, oh well, that is now shot in the a** because everyone is now watching me fall straight apart.
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Hey Guys~I already pm'd Desert so he already knows but I had a bit of a breakdown or something a little bit ago. My ex called me, I don't normally answer her calls anymore, but she sent a text that it was about the cat. (her cat, was our cat) (background I stayed the last 3 years for her son because my ex is not so great at being a Mom...finally when i could take no more I left.) But this is his last year of HS, so I figured he'd be okay. He is welcome to live with me, but won't come because with Mom he has no rules, he's 17, he does what he wants. So he is going to live with her friends (the neighbors..) and she will go and live with her folks for a month or so until she is ready to go and live with her new bf at the beach. I a mess folks. I am at work and a mess. I have cried, I have puked...what the hell was it all for?? I am so ANGRY right now!! I got so mad and upset, I called her just about every name in the book. I know that was wrong but right now I don't care. What kind of person does this??!!
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I'm surprised you didn't blame the cat Desert! (the rum) and I have been looking high and low for the dern bottle...mumble mumble... Is having no rum considered an emergency?
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Hey good positive stuff going on here Camber! Good for you! Good advice, we should take it. Take Good Care~ Lone
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First of all John, have you seen the rum?? The holidays may be tough. I am sure it will hit me as well, but I simply refuse to give in to dispair. I'm going to do what I have been doing, fighting despression and adjusting. I will put it out of my head~I will keep busy. I will volunteer, I will read about people less fortunate and I will seek them out and try to lend a hand. I read somwhere that 1 out of every 5 people get depressed at the holidays. 20%. I'll be with those folks this holiday. I'm not going to out a tree up...but I will go to visit friends and family on the holiday. I'm just going to "get through" this one, next year will be better. Do not be ashamed to feel John, it means you are alive and that is a very good thing. You will go through the cycles of grief, over and over again sometimes. Try to expect that, that way it won't catch you off guard. It's a process, remember, and it takes time~but you can do it. Take good care~ Lone
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where's the rum? How's it going Sandyv? Desert? You two a little better today? I didn't hear from the ex yesterday on my B day. Mixed feelings goin on here. Mostly joy~but there is the little part of me. Well, I don't have to tell you all how it feels, thats the good and bad of this place, you already know. Desert, you'll feel that kind of happy again, one day you'll be right in the middle of a great smile and it will hit you...I know it will. Same for you Sandyv, hang in there! where's that rum again? Thanks for the HB DYT...(that sounds like a Michael Jackson song...oh Lord) might as well add the PYT...lol ahemmm... and the rum was....??? Take good care~ Lone
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Anybody seen Winter around today? Winter, hows it going?