valiantv

Maybe he's ashamed of his bidet because he hasn't cleaned it in a while or something...

Yeah I know I should, but I thought when she said, "I know you have a girlfriend" that she had accepted that. You guys are probably right about staying away, I'm just really curious, and kind of feel sorry for her. In any case I think it would have been a one-nighter type thing and I think that's what she wanted by what she said and what I heard from the others that she said. Doesn't matter anyway as I will probably never see her again. And if I do it will be the last thing she wants to hear about... and it will be pointless - OK the next day she might feel sick with embarrassment and even a few days on, but she'll get over it and there is no point in anyone dredging it up then, even if she was innocent... If I was to say anything it should have been on the night.

Not really a question as such... just something that happened. This involves a few names so try to keep up. Just back from holidays with my gf, Jeanie, I had to meet another friend of mine, Steve, for a night out... She wasn't coming as she was so tired from the holiday... and she doesn't really know them anyway. Anyway, Steve brought his girlfriend Courtney who brought her friend Ellen and a few others. We all went to the bar, got a bit drunk and headed off to a night club. Now in the club I could see Ellen and Courtney chatting away and looking in my direction, and giggling, you know what I mean. Some time later they head off to the toilet, and Steve tells me that Ellen really likes me and what did I think... Now he knows about Jeanie, I said, "No", and he said, "Fine", just letting me know as friends do. Time passes by, people intermingle, we all have a bit of a laugh, and the next thing, Ellen is coming on to me really strong. Trying to make conversation... Knowing what's going on, and I assume that she *knows* about Jeanie from her conversation with Courtney, I start trying to be brief and I might have come accross a bit rude in fact (not intentional, I was trying to avoid leading her on, using stand-offish body language and not asking open questions and such.) Soon enough, she asks me up to dance, I say "no", "come on up and dance", "no", then she playfully swipes the beer bottle out of my hand, snatches my hand, pulls me to the dance floor, saying "Look, I know you have a girlfriend". So I think, fair enough, she acknowledges it, nothing wrong with a little dancing or whatever. Not this kind of dancing, however, and she is *still* trying it on, with her back to me, girating up to me, holding my hands to her waste, her head snuggling to my neck. And me there awkwardly fumbling about like a school-kid at his first dance as I try to give her the impression that I am getting into it, and try to figure out how to make a graceful exit, she keeps saying, "Relax" and stuff. Song ends, I say, "I'm going back to the guys" and I do. Back at the guys, I stand as far away as possible from her in our group. And every time I see her, she is looking at me and smiling. I am trying not to look at her, and when I do, I smile back kind of out of politeness. She is back talking to Courtney, heaven knows what they are talking about. Then she comes back over to me to tell me off. "You're being very ignorant to me... Don't think I'm beneath you, I have a university degree." and all this. I say I don't think she's beneath me, and that I don't mean to be ignorant. Thinking maybe my previous display of resistance and unwillingness was enough to give her the message that I am not going to be cheating on Jeanie, I start to make small talk (I don't want to be rude either, like). What do you work at, all that stuff. Now every time I talk to her she has her mouth as if she's expecting a kiss. The night is over now, and we all walk outside, she drags me aside and tries to hold my hand and all that, I keep moving her hand away, and she finally asks, "You don't like me?" Exasperated, I tell her, feeling I'm being repititious, "I have a girlfriend!" That's the end of that. She walks away, I sigh with relief. She is trying to make her way back into the club, presumably to find Courtney, but everyone else is outside, standing a few metres away. I call her over to the rest of the guys and all of us are chatting again. But Ellen is furious (maybe understandably - read on) She asks her friend Courtney for a cigarette. She starts telling me off again, "Why didn't you tell me earlier you had a girlfriend? You let me make a fool of myself! I'm so embarrassed! I quit smoking a year and a half ago! Now I need a one because of you!" I said, "You knew I did, you said so", but she denied ever saying it. "And if you have a girlfriend where is she now?" I called Steve aside, (Courtney's boyfriend, the friend I had gone out to meet in the first place) and asked him if Courtney had told her I was going out with someone. He said not only did Courtney tell her, but so had he himself, and he said I was not going to cheat on Jeanie. Needless to say I thought that Ellen was a bit of a psycho. At this stage we had walked on and Ellen had disappeared. I asked where had she gone to, and Steve answered, "Do you care?"... But I didn't want to see her in trouble or anything if she walked off on her own - but I was still mad at her. Then Courtney started giving out to me, as if I had been unreasonable, "What's wrong with you? You should be happy all these women are falling at your feet? I'd love it if men were like that around me?" all this stuff, but she's very argumentative when drunk. I was trying to tell her that that's not the point, yadah yadah yadah... And we all got into a cab and headed home. (We all live around the same area) End of that story, but there's more I have been thinking about it since. Why didn't Ellen get the message when she knew about Jeanie? Because she was drunk? Because she was a bit of a * * * * * and thought, "I'll get him anyway"? But she genuinely looked humiliated then... or... (conspiracy theory hat on) Was it all masterminded by Courtney with the help of Steve? As it happens - and I didn't mention this above - I know Steve & Courtney don't like her that much, they weren't very happy that she tagged along in the first place, esp. as she was at odds with another one of the guys. Was it all a devious trick by them, Courtney and Ellen did a lot of chatting beforehand, and knowing Courtney it would not surprise me at all if she had encouraged Ellen to go for it... Maybe I misheard her when she said, "I know you have a girlfriend". Maybe Courtney advised her to go for it in spite of Jeanie (like suggested that I *would* cheat). Plus I know Steve is a bullsh*tter. But I never could make the accusation as I have no proof, just a hypothesis. It's a terrible thing to accuse someone of, a rotten thing to do, but it's just not something I would put past Courtney, and her reaction afterwards (about I should be happy) just makes me think that she thought I would like it and didn't care about how Ellen would feel... Now I think I want to meet Ellen and find out what really happened. It's possible I feel sorry for her and I want to know if I should. In hindisight, I was really rude to her, assuming that she knew about Jeanie. But I will probably never meet her again as I only know her through Courtney and there is no point in asking them. Ah well... just had to get all that off my chest. Post a reply if you have any input.... Also, as I said in the subject, why couldn't anything like that happen to me when I was single? Was it the challenge of going for an attached man that turned her on? Or is it just coincidence?

I think you're putting way too much faith in this "The One" business... I mean there's 6,000 million people in the world and 4 million in the country, how can you possibly be sure that only one of those is "The One" you are "Meant To Be" with, and if there was only one, you would probably never meet them, because think of the odds that you'd bump into them! In reality there is going to be someone who you really like or you love. This is a matter of circumstance - you met, got together and fell in love with him, not someone else. That's what makes him the one for you, not some all-powerful guiding force which has gone around assigning Ones to everyone. Stop thinking about whether he is The One, and start thinking about enjoying the relationship!

And by the way Beautie, out of interest, how would you react if he did that with his 15 year old sister?

No I see where the husband is coming from - he is not insecure, he's jealous, there's a big difference. You would not be faulting the husband if it were an unrelated guy, even if he knew for a fact that Beautie was not romantically interested in the guy. Same applies to a brother. Some guys are more accepting than others of this kind of thing, but you can't moan about the husband just because he's one of the less accepting ones.

If it were me I'd be trying to find out *why* she acts this way, including asking her. There are a number of possibilities, including 1) She doesn't realise how much she does it, or that it annoys you. 2) She doesn't trust you for some reason. 3) (As someone above mentioned) she has bad experiences from the past 4) There is something you are leaving out of the story - either deliberately, or because you just don't think it's relevant (but it is to her) Definitely discuss, but do so in a positive manner. Don't accuse or judge her, but try to keep the conversation open-ended, and somehow convince her that she can trust you. (But don't say, "You can trust me!") And maybe stop going on about how good looking other girls are!

This sounds like it is easily fixed... Just tell him that! Glad you're sticking with your current - sounds to me like the ex, if he did all that stuff to hurt you (esp. if he did it on purpose), should be the one to forget - Things like dedicating songs to you are not much good if he's going to turn around and say hurtful things like the stuff in your diary. One other thing - the immaturity thing might not necessarily be so bad... If you stopped him from this you might find him real serious or boring... In any case you might be his first girlfriend and so he might get maturer.

HOE HOE HOE! Very funny!!!

Regarding the toilet paper thing, why not simply give yourself a thorough clean?

By the way, this site might give a few pointers "just in case": link removed (though the women on here might have to confirm its accuracy)

I don't think I could date anyone as young as my younger sister... It would just be weird for me as I remember being grown up ish while she was still a kid... So it would be like dating one of her kid friends... Even though now we are both in our 20s, and I see no problem with anyone else doing that... Just my own feeling. Regarding race or religion it wouldn't bother me in the least... Unless their religion forced them to do stuff or to not do stuff that would somehow make us less happy.

I never understand this, esp. as mixed-race people are generally better looking than "thoroughbreds" ;-) (IMHO) It is idiotic to have a policy of not dating outside your race, not to mention closed minded and ignorant. BUT with race there are two things - one is skin (looks) and the other is culture. Now, looks play a big part in who you are attracted to. If you are not generally attracted to white people, for example, it might be shallow to judge people on their looks, but it's not necessarily racism. Your skin covers most of your body and face, so it plays a big part in looks. But more important is culture - while everyone has a different personality, that personality is usually just a deviation from the culture where they come from. Which means most people from your race are going to have common factors when it comes to personality traits. And these traits might not be liked by someone. For example a woman from a liberal country might not like someone from a race that is oppressive to women and believes that is normal.

Oh I agree with that alright... You should be *allowed* do as you wish, but I think the question was about people's own opinions of it... Of course, you don't always know if they are doing it of their own free will.

Just do it.. If you don't like it then just don't do it again! (Unless of course you are right about not being able to use the condom)

OK yesterday I tried an experiment... Beating off in the evening approximately around the time that I would be getting ready to go out and see her. I found that I was coming quickly enough then... Then again later that night - all in the name of information gathering, of course - around the time we had been getting quite passionate on previous nights... (about 5 hours later) And found that I couldn't come at all that time, even though sometimes I slightly felt like I was going to. This makes logical sense to me as I would say I was "spent" after the first time and hadn't had time to recharge... My question is this: Is my thinking correct? And could I stay hard all night this way? And people who have sex more than once in a night, would you come each time? If so, what's the story?

Question about the advice to "slow down" every few minutes right before you cum... If you followed this same advice while masturbating, would it help you get in a bit of "practice" so when you were with a girl, you wouldn't have to bother her by asking her to stop every few minutes?

I wouldn't say so... Unless there are other factors too like listening to Abba or watching Big Brother Seriously though, as RayKay was saying, the prostate is up there, and that's one of the major male erogenous zones, I know of one or two straight men who like that from their lade. Don't think I'd like that myself though Also I wouldn't bring it up if he told you while high... Let his gf and himself sort that one out, anything else could cause unnecessary embarrassment.

Well the people who don't do it out of personal taste or disgust for people who do, would be very hypocritical if they did in Holland just because it was legal!

Feelings are complicated things. Here's a possibility: To be fair to your husband, jealousy isn't as straightforward as you might think - Of course, he is probably not afraid of losing you to your brother. However, he might well think - and justifiably so, IMHO - that *he* is the only one you should be sharing "quite intense" kisses with. I mean it's almost like kissing another guy in a night club or whatever... You might have no intention of ever seeing that guy again - thereforeeee he is no threat - but your husband would still be understandably pissed off about it.

Yeah I had tried that saying it to the mirror / the dog / etc. It helped a little I suppose, but then she didn't react the way I thought she would...

Definitely not the only one - I am really bad *even* when drunk. In a club I'd see a girl looking at me and even then not have the guts to go over to her... I'd always have to rely on them to come to me (which is very rare). Pretty bad I know, as if one of my friends wanted the two of us to chat up a pair of girls together, I'd always have to make excuses why I couldn't.

I would say give him a chance to come clean. Maybe he was lying at the time (years ago when it happened), but in the mean time, he probably changed his mind about you (which he clearly did if you're still together years later), but thought it was best to let sleeping dogs lie. (no pun intended) There was no point in bringing something up that would just hurt your feelings.

Jeez I nearly felt sorry for the guy up to thiis point... Now I just think he is making a bad attempt at being manipulative.

Actually I'm more beginning to believe that this is the case... I don't know if that makes me feel better or worse. I've solved the problem with the jerking off by the way - I just needed a bit more persistence (and sometimes some soft porn). After jerking off, I will stay hard for a while, but with whatever is happening here... Well very soon after I would be useless. Ahh I just wish it was voluntary ... It's worse I'm getting, by the way, probably because I'm thinking about it too much. I was thinking about it all night while we were together (like with touching etc.)... Afterwards I was just kissing (quite passionately btw) her, and well... Haven't had a chance to try jerk off just before I meet her... Anyway thanks folks for your input