mba1

personally, i would have been surprised if a 23 yr old would have known the definition of pithy.... my opinion, it that people should stay w/in their own age group respectively.... this is especially true if you're over 30 and wanting to date women or men in their late teens early twenties... the point i'm trying to make here (and don't shot me anyone) is that young adults at that time are just discovering who they are by definition of their own experiences, values, morals and convictions. intelligence not only is inherent or learned by academia but wisdom comes from life experiences. i'm not at all surprised at her response... keep in mind she is in her early twenties - let's be pragmatic about this --- what were you really expecting ?!?! maturity, a certain degree of tact, or perhaps for her to see you on a playing field or common ground similiar to her peers... c'mon now, don't buy too quickly into the whole age doesn't matter thing unless you can honestly say that you're willing to date someone your grandparents age and actually do it! sorry to be so honest about this one ~ in any event, you seem like a nice guy and not an eye sore by any means i'm sure if you look in the right places the opportunities will be there

don't plan it for goodness sake (this isn't corny chick flik movie)...relax and take it easy and be patient & wait for the moment when it feels right for the both of you - this will make it memorable not the location.

it's really hard to gauge what's going on in your relationship only bcuz we're not privy to all the dynamics and info between you two... with the compliments and so forth that aren't being reciprocated - have you considered her background and upbringing... is her family demonstrative with their feelings? was she once lovey and cuddly and isn't now? the age thing can be a factor, i only say this bcuz she is onlyh 21 and personally, i believe btwn the ages of 18-25 people are just discovering and establishing their convictions and values with greater scrutiny. perhaps, the mortgage and setting into a "family" life is something now in hindsight, she's discovered she's not ready for... are any of her other gf's in the same situation or are they all partying leaving her behind at home ??? like i said earlier, it could be alot of things going on her, not just one variable but many comingled together. i think, if it were me, i would first and foremost ask her how she feels currently about the relationship and where she wants to see it going... just some food for thought ~

all i can really say is WOW! you're friend must really be feeling alot of devastation right now ... i genuinely hope things get alot better for him and his family. hopefully, it will once the tensions die down - it's a good thing he had and still has your support w/out he would be alone.

Well said Stacy !!! "people watcher" - gawd.... give me freakin a break! i must say...some of these guys are really something w/their justifications - make you wonder if it's a situation in which they think you're the one who is stupid or if they are stupid - i'm voting for he latter. LOL

i feel you should definitely lay off... otherwise she's gonna end up feeling like a piece of meat and as hard as it is for you guys to conceive or appreciate this ....as a woman it really is a turn off and a major annoyance. for example, with myself i am very conservative with respect to sexual intimacy in the beginning of any relationship. reason being is bcuz most people will voice their convictions and values but you will never be able to find the merit in what they are saying unless you've had ample time to gauge their behavior and actions. and until this is done i really don't want just some guy putting his hands all over me. once i see a reliable pattern and feel like some trust and respect has been established then i would feel more comfortable being intimate and maybe.... allow a kiss on the cheek or hand holding ! LOL but really, just let her come to you and let her be the one to want it. otherwise, she's going to think you're some shallow horny pervert trying to get a piece of ***

i think you already know the answer to this one.... don't fool yourself honey. fyi - this guy is a mastermind at deflecting responsibility and blame away from himself in order to draw your attention elsewhere. he is a MANIPULATOR ! toss him sweetie

the reason for those feelings honey is bcuz it's too soon for YOU to be dating anyone right now. everyone is different and coping styles vary... but you're mind, heart and emotions are someone else... which is another reason why you need to heal by yourself and become emotionally and mentally stable before you move on into another relationship. to do otherwise is only going to exacerbate the situation and is unfair to you and the potential other girl.

but you know what else? rebounds have the lowest success rates of any relationships on the planet. she really is just going to fill the void you left, as it was said, if there even is a "she" to begin with. anyway, this lucky girl is going to get the benefit of constantly being compared to you, his last love--SOOOO lucky, right? for example, i COULD think of him having sex with some random chick on the road (he's a musician), and it being spontaneous, exciting, whatever. but then i thought about how it would go afterwards--the awkward putting-on of the clothes, probably accompanied by a lot of drunken stumbling, the half-hearted offer for her to stay the night, him feeling ridiculously lonely and empty afterward, having to leave to another city six hours later...et cetera. and that's not fantasy, that's REALITY. so, was i really going to sit around and be jealous of THAT? please. point being, any girls he gets with for the next few months will just be a PATHETIC hookup, as most of them are, but breakup hookups are particularly pathetic for both parties. you can even be GLAD that he might be seeing other girls, because he'll probably strike out for a while and remember how rare it truly is to find a girl as great as you. don't kid yourself about the relationships he's going to have anytime soon, because they're going to be empty. period. joyce is soo on point with all the above comments. i recall my ex-whatever you want to call him doing the same thing... and i was thinking to myself, what the h*ll??? how could he have forgotten about me and REPLACE me so soon? point is, as frisco and joyce have already made - he hasn't and he's passing the time with distractions so he doesn't have to face nor deal with reality. and think about it this way... if he really has REPLACED you so soon ask yourself this.... what type of guy can so readily and supeficially forget one love and have another so quickly??? my answer...someone who's love isn't worth a damn in the first place! yet another reason why ladies and gentlemen of my i have NEVER EVER rebounded

That is too funny !!! God i remember seeing them when they were at Spanky's in the I.E. when they were all ska-d out !!!

there's this song called "cool" by gwen stefani - that song reminds me of him. i hope it's something that can materialize btwn us....

this is really so weird to say ... but i am so glad i let go of the confusion and idea of something that i knew wasn't 100% right. i am so ready to start dating now.... in a serious sense instead of dating to pass the time ! i am so happy to say that i don't have any bad feelings, resentment or anger anymore - it's such a peaceful and great feeling !

actually, my situation was a little different from the conventional bf/gf situation but to keep it short there was attraction, feelings, miscommunication and well let's just say things didn't go well from there... anyhow, i think it mostly took time and seeing the situation for what is really was and thus, who he really is. i guess i got tired of the same situation, feeling the same way and mostly... tired of having my life on hold for someone who's insensitive and one sided. alas, time heals all wounds. took me a long time ---- only bcuz i was letting go of more than a friend than a bf.

At approximately 1:28 PST - (perhaps even earlier) after much reflection and TIME - i am proud and even more so RELIEVED at the fact that I am seriously over (in the real sense) of someone who played something special in life ! Hallelujah - FREE AT LAST !!!

typical dumb * * * * * cops!!! i'm sorry -

that is so nice ! i agree with you - i love to eat and sit in the company with someone i can talk to... how special and lucky you are!

check this out - here's a crazy... but true story. ~ so i've been having these ups and downs with my ex for the last upteen months if not years, my new 2005 30 grand car gets smashed (nearly totaled) in july of last year (yes ladies and gents i only had it for less than 7 months) , then i have the fabulous luck of going through 2 crappy money hungry attorneys who were either born without or lack serious scruples and then when i get to my lowest breaking point amongst other things, i find a new attorney.... i tell him what happened to me from the last year and broke down in tears from all the confusion associated with my car, the shotty body shop, crooked attorneys and you know what the SOB did ???? He HIT on me !!! uh... hello ?! isn't that a breach of conduct, serious ethic violation and just plain ol' LOW ???? i've come to the sad reality in my life that i am (a) either being hit on or (b) being screwed over.... seriously there is no middle ground !!!! i wish i was lying but i'm not. LOL

girl !!! we should so go together - trust me on this !!!! i just talked to a friend that moved out there - he also lives in downtown in the gas lamp district. he says, people party pretty hard there!

yeah , tell me about it. maybe i can find someone to let me pitch a tent in their front yard ! LOL

relatives... you gotta luv em' hey i notices you're in san diego - i was just there in the gas lamp district. had to go to some fancy smanct hotel for an award banquet for work. we were right off the water - WOW was it gorgeous. i'm suppose to be in san francisco in three weeks so i'm pretty jazzed about that. haven't been there since i was 4 ! anyhow, i was seriously amazed on how crowded downtown is... one can find a date simply by walking down the street in the middle of the day ! LOL hey... i should move there !

yeah... i know but i guess where i was going with this one, is that i know i'm not hurting for a date (no arrogance intended) or i could be hanging out with my friends but... i guess i'm sad over the things that have happened this last year and losing not really a bf but someone who i thought was my friend. i miss him and the way things were. it breaks my heart sometimes especially when you lose someone who is special in your heart. funny, i've always been the kinda girl to sit home alone and reflect on the person and situation rather than go out and rebound or party my problems away...

strange.... it's sat night and i could be out on a date or hanging out with friends but instead i'm how many of u are feeling like this tonight ?

ohhhh charley..... you're shyness is sooo cute! without tooting my own horn - i can tell you from the reactions and feedback i get from most men with respect to my appearance, is one that is perceived as somewhat intimidating. then i open my mouth and yikes, most men either think damn... this one's not stupid and easy or sh!! looks and brains - i don't think i can do this! LOL i guess my point is that you shouldn't be intimated by a woman's appearance, if she's sexy and beautiful and is going out with you - then more power to you and her ! although, shyness is endearing, you shouldn't be intimated by someone's appearance to the point that you don't think you're not good enough for her. personally, it gets kinda old being treated and paraded around like a trinket which i have been the recipient of on more than one occasion. most women would like this but i tend to think it's superficial and can see right through to someone's superficialness when they pander to me bcuz of my appearance. in my opinion, there are many pretty girls out there, so in essense what differientiates me from let's say...this girl or that girl over there. specifically, if someone is valuing me solely on the merit of my appearance then they can move along. looks fade and if this is what's keeping my boyfriend or husband around then i'm gonna be in trouble as the years go by....