dizzylizzy

I get them tightened monthly and the last go around they cross wired 4 teeth on the front bottom to put added pressure. Right now my bite is so off that none of my teeth fit together, which makes it very difficult to chew. I can't bite into anything. I have another 3 to 5 months to go before the quad helix will come out, that will be a relief.

I'm 46 and have wanted braces all my life but put it off for financial reasons. Finally I had to have a baby tooth pulled and have an impacted permanent tooth that they are going to try and pull down. The process started with putting in spacers for a couple of weeks, then the back bands and a quad helix that sits near the roof of my mouth (have had for 2 months now), got the bottom braces about six weeks ago and the top braces 1 week ago. Basically my mouth hasn't felt good for about 3 months now. I have lost weight because I can only eat soft foods and give up about half way through most meals because it is too much of a chore. I am feeling very discouraged and can't imagine dealing with this for 2 1/2 years. Please, someone, tell that it does get better.

Control has nothing to do with it. I think you should let him know that you are aware that you have some issues that you need to work on, you are sorry and ashamed of your outburst, but that you really do care for him a lot but don't want to become a nusance so if he still thinks there is a chance or that there is hope that you would really like to give it another try and that you will anxiously be waiting to hear from him,

I can deal with the ones that I have tested positive for as they are related to cervical cancer, I get my paps on a regular basis, and there is a 90% chance that it will be gone within a year or so. However, I wish they had tested for the other ones, from what I understand some cause warts, which makes the virsus sound even dirtier. I have never had anything close to a wart in my life, especially in that region, and just the thought of telling my B/F that that could be a possibility literally makes me sick to my stomach.

I have checked into this and it is tested through a swabbing of the cervix and there is no approved test for men.

I recently tested positive for Human Papilloma Virus (HPV). There are several types of this virus and I was tested only for the ones that are related to cervical cancer, all of which were positive. I guess this is something they have just started testing for, but it is sexually transmitted and there are anywhere from 100 to 200 different types and about 80% of the population has it and don't know it. There is no approved testing for men, figures. I found out yesterday and it has completely comsummed my mind ever since. Not a whole lot is known about it and there appears to be alot of unanswered questions. I'm not a permiscuous person and have only been with two people since my divorce 12 years ago but still being told this has made me feel cheap and dirty and now I need to tell my S/O. I may have contracted it years ago and it has laid dormant or I may have contracted it from my S/O. No way of knowing who or when. By the way I tested clean for STDs a year and half ago. They don't test for this virus in their normal testing process for STD's. This has just started being done with pap smears to help detect people who are at high risk of having cervical cancer. If anybody has gone through this or is going through please share your thougts. My understanding is that in 90% of the cases it goes away within 6 to 12 months as your immune system is able to get rid of it. None the less I have it now and need to share my knowledge with my S/O.

SeaBisquit, thank you for the compliment. He is a very social person and needs to be the center of attention whereas I prefer smaller groups and don't want or need to be the focal point of the party. Makes it very difficult because wherever we go, if it is a public place, it is never just he and I. If we are in a restaurant, even if it is having an intimate romantic dinner, he is paying attention to all the conversations that are going on at the other tables and usually takes it upon himself to interject into their conversations. There are times that I quit telling my story because his attention is more on the people that are around us. Sometimes I don't even want to go to a public place with him because I don't want to deal with the upset that it is going to cause me. I can be talking to him and you can tell he isn't listening. We go shoot pool quite often and I will go to call my shot and he focused on what is going on at the other end of the room then he wants me to repeat it. I finally just started telling him you snooze you loose. He won't go out dancing with me because he says he can't dance yet he will dance all the way down the isles of the grocery store in front of everybody to get a laugh. Some times it gets embarrasing.

RayKay, thanks for your insight. I really struggle with trying to figure out if it is my own insecurities that are the problem or is he just that much of an insensitive jerk. My long time family counselor who has talked with "us" twice and "me" on numerous occasions has come up with the same diagnosis, that he is narcissist. Thanks for the support INFJ, thanks for your comments and encouragement. He does tell me that I am the most exciting person that he has ever been with and he has never approached the subject of any kind of surgery as he knows I am dead set against that, to me it is phony, we can make ourselves to be something else. It is who "we" are that makes us unique. When we first got together he told me several times that when he told his brother and friends about me that they asked him if he had gotten a "hottie" and he told them "NO" that that wasn't what he wanted. That has always made me feel pretty crappy. Since my blow up he does make the effort to make me feel special and desirable but unfortunately the seed has already been planted and sometimes it is just hard to forget it and move past it.

Ta ree, I am not offended by your comments and have had the same sentiments that you have during those times. I struggle with trying to understand the one time cheating, and I do have issues with the lying; however, he has some wonderful qualities, believe it or not he has high ethics and morals, very responsible, family oriented, generous, great sense of humor, loving, affectionate. Fallen Shadwo, After we had been together for about 8 months I had finally had enough and blew up and told him how I felt about all of his comments. He has since backed off and he does make a point of making me feel desirable; however, there are still times, in general conversation, that his story will hit on or bring up things related to these past incidences and it starts the feelings of insecurities all over again.

My BF and I have been together for two years (living together for 20 months). In the beginning of our relationship he made it known to me that he had cheated once on his first wife and felt the need to point out that it was with a Penthouse Pet (I kind of felt like he was bragging or trying to impress me by letting me know that he was able to get a Penthouse Pet). He also let me know that he skipped out on his business trade show to go to a tennis tournament with one of the models at the car show. He has bragged to me about certain girls hitting on him and about how they are so much younger than he and have boob jobs etc. He is very impressed with material things and status. Always has to have the best of everything. He says everything he has has to make a statement. I on the other hand am not impressed by status or material things as I don't believe money buys happiness. I am 45 he is 49. I am very small and petite, 4'11" weight 102 pounds. I am well proportioned for my size and keep myself in pretty good shape and I take care of my looks and I think most would consider me pretty but not gorgeous; however, I am small breasted, I don't have long leggs or big hair so I obviously am not top of the line. Usually I am very secure and confident with myself but knowing how important it is to him to make a statement I start to feel insecure about myself and feel like I will never be able to measure up to the things he likes to brag about, the model, the penthouse pet, the hotties that hit on him etc. How can I get past this?

I think going on the trip together is a bad idea as it creates false hope. 71/2 years is a long time to wait for a commitment and unfortunately it sounds like she has moved on. It takes time to get over a long-term relationship and I don't think stepping out and trying find someone else to ease the lonelinees etc. is the answer, and if anything it usually ends up in someone getting caught up in a relationship out of a need to fill the void rather than because it is love. I am not one to do a lot of dating, or to date more than one person at a time. When I date someone it is because there is a chemistry there and it always ends up being a long-term relationship. When I force myself to get out there right after a break up I never click with anyone because nobody ever measures up to the feelings that I had for the other so I usually take some time off from dating, spend some time with friends or family, find a new hobby, take classes, throw myself into my work, etc. Once I find peace with myself again then boom that wonderful someone falls into my lap. You need to take time go through the mourning process as this is a great loss of someone very important in your life. It is important to go through the healing process so you are a whole and healthy person for the next relationship. Allow yourself to cry, be sad, depressed but know with time the hurt will lessen. And understand that you are going to have good days and you are going to have bad days. Never easy, my heart feels for you.

I will try to keep this as brief as possible. My BF has his 50th coming up. Wasn't going to do any big party because his kids aren't accepting of me. The son never accepts the invites and the daughter does but later throws it in his face about why does everything have to include me, his GF, and why does everything have to be at our place. However, I did not want his mom, sisters, their families, along with his friends to feel like they were left out of getting to celebrate his 50th with him. So I bit the bullet and decided I would have a party and send out formal invites to ALL. My BF's response to me was for me to keep in mind that we could also celebrate his son's birthday, which is 7 days later. The son doesn't accept me and hasn't been able to deal with his dads divorce, never accepts our invtations for family gatherings, didn't attends his dads b-day last year. I don't feel comfortable trying to make this a b-day party for both of them, feel like I would be intruding into unwanted territory, and don't think his son would want it either. I explained this to my BF and he said he is fine either way but was hoping that since we all were going to be under the same roof thought his friends and family could enjoy his son's b-day too. I would be all for it but it's been two years and his son still isn't accepting. I can't force something that isn't there. Now I'm struggling with a party that I don't want to do and feelings of guilt because my BF isn't going to get the union of everyone for his sons b-day.

Medications can also dry you out, allergy meds, sinus meds, pain killers, muscle relaxers. Also our bodies are forever changing so this may be a temporary thing.

A lot of times if you are taking a weaker birth control pill and you miss a pill it will kind of put your body in this state of starting your cyle. My guess is your body is a little confused. I would proceed as normal and when you start your next packet of pills if you are still having spotting then see your doctor.

Yep, sounds like he doesn't make a habit of it and was probably having an extremely bad day. Let it go and move on.

This is one of my biggest pet peeves, people who leave you hanging! So many people do it with no regard to others. I will never understand it no matter how hard I try. My best friend of 18 years is like this and it has caused some moments of disconnect between us but because we have been friends so long and think so much of each other when this happens and irritates me we both take a step back and take a deep breathe. This is my friends personality and nature and she does this with EVERY thing in her life so I try not to take it personal but have come to plan on it when we make plans. And with her knowing my need for punctuality she understands this is my nature and is understanding of me when I get miffed about it and she gives me my space to mellow out and then things are back to normal. I have been told to expect the worse out of people then I won't be disappointed when they don't come through but pleasantly surprised when they do. When I first starting dating my bf he did this within the first two weeks so I didn't return his phone call for two days. He has never done it again. Sometimes it is just unfortunate circumstances sometimes it is their nature. If it is his nature you either need to decide if this is something you can learn to adjust to and plan for it, or decide if this is going to create to much frustration for you. Maybe he is trainable but I hate using that word because I think if we have to train someone to be what we want them to be there are going to be problems down the road. You compromise, understand, find middle ground that you both can live with.

Renaissance, I think my mom could sympathize because she had lived it. My parents aren't people to wallow in self pity or ones to play the victim so I never got away with doing much crying over myself. They always made me stand up and brush myself off. I'm sorry to hear that your parents weren't more supportive. My oldest sister is mentally retarded so we were raised not to make fun of anyone as it can be very hurtfull. All we can do is learn and grow by their mistakes.

I am only 4'11". In school the kids never let me forget about my height but as an adult a rarely give much thought to my height unless some insensitive person feels the need to call me a midget. My mom was only 4'10" so she made a point of building up my confidence in myself by telling me things like "dynamite comes in small packages", "good things come in small packages", "tall guys always like short girls and this makes the tall girls jealous". Almost every guy I have dated has been 6'3" and they love the fact that I am short and petite and think I have the greatest leggs. Because of being short and always feeling the need to prove myself I have always excelled at everything I do and am very atheletic so the guys like the fact that I keep myself in shape. I am 45 and have a grandson and people are shocked because I don't look my age and never have. There is no perfect because what appeals to one person's eye doesn't necessarily appeal to anothers. As my boyfriend recently told me (he is also 6'3") embrace your size.

Scout, I took your suggestion and emailed the exact phrase to my BF of "What will it take from me for you to feel you can be very open with me about your communication with your ex?". He didn't answer the question he just emailed me back a copy of two of their emails so I emailed him back and said that the copies of the emails weren't necessary but "I guess what I am needing from you is for you to let me know when the two of you have communication by saying "Ex called today . . . or I called Ex . . . or she or I emailed . . . Is there something that I need to do on my end to make it easier for you to communicate this to me?" This was his response, "I am sorry for not telling you she emailed me I try and let you know anytime we have had communication and just did not think about it. It would make it easier for me if you want to know something to just come out and ask." What am I suppose to do ask him every day "did you have communication with your ex?" Does this seem a little silly to you? What I am asking for seems so simple. I feel like trying to discuss this with him has gotten me no where. This is the way all of our conversations go. We get no where and I feel like I'm wasting my breathe because he never seems to understand what I am needing.

I will try your suggestion and see how it goes. Thank you all for your input.

Scout, I think that you are right in communcating what we both need to feel comfortable with the situation. This is where we get stuck. When he tells me about communication with his ex I give my opinion and if it isn't in agreement with his he doesn't want to hear it so he just doesn't tell me. Bascially if I want to know what is going on I will have to promise to say nothing. Which can be very difficult at times. From day one he has expressed that he wants to marry me, right now I have no say in how he handles things with his ex but if we were married I would definitely want to have some input on it, especially if it effects us financially. As for open communication about his kids, for me to get this basically I will have to show no emotion on how the exclusion of me hurts. I don't do well with bottled up emotions. I like to say what I feel so I can move past it. He knows of every dealing I have with my ex and I wish I got the same consideration. If I am unexpectly around when she calls his office phone he usually takes the phone into his office to converse with her. Whether the situation makes me happy or not I would much rather he did everything opening as the way it is now only creates more doubts.

At this point I think I pretty much need to accept that there is a good chance that his kids will never accept me and decide if I want to live with this kind of frustration for the rest of my life and if I decide to contiue the relationship, hopefully trust will build over time.

Scout, Yes, he was married for 25 years with the last 8 years being bad and the final two years they slept in separate bedrooms with the mom sleeping with the then 16 year old daughter for two years. When we met they ALL were still living under the same roof but with he and she living in separate rooms etc. What caused the physical separation was that she had had a one year affair on him and she later found out that in the early years of their marriage he had had a one night stand. He tried and wanted to work things out but she pretty much wouldn't have anything to do with him. Even though they were all under the same roof she did her thing, he did his thing and he was never included in their family functions, holidays etc. He finally decided to move forward and we met at an online dating service. He was completely upfront with me about his situation, we had an instant connection both physically and emotionally. I insisted that he move out of the house and wanted him to live on his own for a year, he insisted that we live together, I acquiesed and we moved in together. Both kids new about the infidelities, new about the separate sleeping arrangements, etc. SHE filed for divorce while we were dating but he was still in the home. The divorce became final last February and for the most part she got everything in addition to another $50K that she wasn't entitled to (thats another long story) but basically he didn't fight her for anything. As for notable scenes, nothing over the top, once I called his ex on the advice of my counselor because a year had gone by and nobody had made any steps to finalize the divorce so I called her to get some clarification on what was the supposed hold up. I was very polite and non accusing and my BF had no problem with me calling, she talked to me for an hour and a half. And I made one phone call to his daughter after he had called her for several days and she wouldn't call him back. I was polite but asked her to please call her dad as this was hurting him. I know she harbors bad feelings about this as she has told her dad that I had no rightto do this and he told her that I had every right because I care about him. And as for my call to the ex my counselor and BF both felt I had every right as this also involves my life and I have a right know what my future holds. Wow, you have a great memory.

Scout, his son has made it clear that he is having difficulty with their divorce to the point that now he has put his house on the market to move to Texas. This breaks my heart because I know how this is going tear my BF up inside. He will be losing his son and his grandaughter. He pretty much raised his grandaughter for the first two years of her life. I feel like if it wasn't for me he would still have a good relationship with his kids. Sometimes I wonder if we all would be better off if I just stepped aside. I don't know if I want this kind of frustration for the rest of my life.

No. I extend invites (to the extent that I have sent them an invitation from me personally) for every holiday, birthday, special event most of which his son declines, his daughter attends but has expressed to her dad on numerous occasions that she would rather it be just her and him yet she completely flaked on him when they were to have a one-on-one Father's day breakfast together, she never showed up and never called him until the following evening and her reason was that she wanted to stay and jet ski another day. I have expressed to him that it is hurtful and disappointing to me that his kids are not accepting of me. I am not looking to be their best friend or buddy or pal but would like to be able to enjoy doing some family things together as my kids 17 and 20 have completely accepted him and have never asked me to exclude him. He knows that I have no problem with him having one-on-one time with his kids but it does bother me that they want nothing to do with me and won't recognize us and our home together by calling the house phone, coming over etc.