GothicLolita

Thanks for your honesty,I showed him sites for help,he bought a book on addiction but I doubt he read it.even went to a meeting once.

I don't know if I should try No contact,talking or just throwing in the towel and get the rest of my things and end it?. I'm a very forgiving person but I don't want to live like this anymore,surporting him while he lies and doesn't try to help himself. I'm know this is a typical story but I don't know what I can do at this point,to not be co-dependent on him in my life and be strong enough to do whats right for me/us. I've been with my boyfriend for 2years,living together for about 1year He is 26 i'm 19 .During 80% of relationship I/we've been fighting over his sex/porn addiction,he's gone to extreme lenghts to get his "fix" even so far as turning his PSP into a porn machine,phone sex on his work breaks,texting/emailing sexual comments to girls and his PDA turned cheat central,I had to ask to him to get rid of his PSP because he was using it for negitive things as for the PDA this weekend I found out he was visting sites,DP and blondes...you get the picture. It crushed me that for the past 3 months i've been trying to just give him trust,only for him to still be a sneeky liar...I know I deserve better but I want to work it out,because I spent so much time trying to help him get over his addictions,and we've had some good times. Today I decided to take my things and move back with my mom today, until he decides if this relationship is worth more to him then other women and porn.At first I cried,but then I felt relief that I don't have to watch him when he gets online or when he plays with his phone.He hasn't tried to make contact all day other then when he walked me to the trains,and I doubt he will,but before I left he acted all depressed , Also being he recently lost his job I'm not sure what might happened,while i'm gone,he's into escorts and has contacted them in the past before we lived together,but says he never met up with any of them. I'm starting colleage next week and i'm stressing over this relationship move,I feel its not gonna fase him and he's just gonna use this time cheat on me,I saw he was signed on AIM using a screen name he told me was deleted,I haven't even been gone more then 5 hours!,he's in New jersey and i'm in the Bronx, btw. Thanks for any help you can give,i'm at a total loss.

I'm curious to ask,why is it that so many men enjoy anal sex so much,on the giving end. (NOTE: i'm not saying all men enjoy it,because alot don't) As a women I'm always surprised at the huge ammount of men who enjoy anal sex just for the sake of saying they got to get it. I'm not saying anal sex is wrong,i enjoy it at times myself,but I'm just curious as to what the big deal is... Are there any men here who would like to explain what they Do/DON'T like about it. Just a random thought today,Thanks for your input...

That is a matter of preference,some people love the scent of a women or mans privates,Because everyone has there own smell its really up to your liking. Again everyone has there own taste and that depends on what you eat once you start having oral sex with women you'll learn that they taste and feel differenct during certain times of the month she might taste werid the week prior to her period and a few days after.as long as your both clean your good to go noone likes to go down on a guy or girl who doesn't clean down there. If she's comfortable with swallowing you might find that alot more erotic,and alot less messy 8) .But don't force her. The only thing i can think of is slipping into something i know my man would like or listening to some mood setting music. Depending on the women, the vagina DOES need lots of gentle attention mostly the outer lips and don't forget the CLITORIS its full of nerse just like the head of the penis,but remember to be gentle yet concistent or it will get sore or even numb.ask her where it feels good and how'd she wants you to touch her.exploring helps alot. YES please use protection,your both young and practing safe sex now will get you accoustomed to it for later on in life(it can save your lives).1,000 of young girls get HPV from haveing unprotected sex and lots of partners and men carry it like other stds,If you feel like you won't feel anything try ultra thin condoms. If you go soft when wearing a condom start by masterbating with a condom on so you can train your penis if it wants loving its going have to wear the condom(don't give up). You can take out your "j.r. when ever your ready,a man doesn't have to be fully erect to have four play. Thats up to your taste flavored condoms are a good idea for oral sex and ribbed condoms or twist condoms are good for her.You just have to see what works for you.Don't double condoms or use vaseline use ky or water based lube and take your time lubing her up as well if she needs it.also if it breaks switch condoms right way and have her get checked if you think some spilled. Some people like to wash up before and after sex to have that clean feeling its good to wash away any sweat before and after sex so you can both feel relaxed.Just remember if your having sex in shower make sure your condom doesn't get water in it or it may come off,and if it spills into her don't wash lots of water up there or you risk moving the semen deeper into her cervix. I hope this helps. Be safe.

Thanks Ehm DoubleYou. I've told him we should try it before but i'm not his phone type he likes =( just seems i'm not good enough for that to him he needs someone better

i would love to but i need to find a good paying job to atleast rent a room.Hes acting like the whole thing never happened now

Yes he did cheated with one of his "favorites operators" the same morning i had to go to the hospital i checked his transactions.While i was asleep he did it . he deleted the his whole recent calls last night so i wouldn't have proof

Sorry if i can off like i was freaking out i DO not believe hes trying to screw with me or ruin my life.And he does have an addiction he's even admitted it and i no about the money because i hacked into the account and looked at his transaction FYI hes spent alot of the money he doesn't have on it.Cheating to me can be emotional,physicaly or mental i look at porn with him together as well as other things and i don't care i enjoy it but if he's going to do things with other people behind my back and brake his vow of honestly then that is cheating because hes lying about what he does. Its not pride its about respect when you love and respect someone would you want to hurt them if you knew by drinking all the time it would hurt would you still want to do it?.Pride has nothing to do with the fact that i hate liars. so i'm sorry if you don't understand my position. I have made my choices along time ago i just wanted someone who could relate.thank you for your advice none the less.

I've posted before on help with my boyfriends(25) cyber/phone sex addiction .Didn't help me much.I had information i had gathered online and given it to him and we WHERE working on him staying on the right track but he went back to his old ways for the 3third time. Now i'm a huge emotional wreck because i've been in and out of the hospital and in a hell of alot of physical pain plus lots of meds... He cheated on me on the 19th this month,thats when i had to go to the hospital and he had a phone sex session with one of his "favorites" he even put in 10$ from his credit card into his account..I feel to g*ddamn stupid and angry that he'd be stupid enough to do this to me again. He knows this is when i need him most i'm in alot of pain and can hardly do anything by myself because of the wound and pain.. He says used his credit card and doesn't know what i'm talking about i know hes lying but i i'm trapped i don't know what to do i was trying my best to help him over come his addiction it seems like he doesn't love me enough to want to get help.I love him because of all the hard times but i don't want to take this abuse but Techinaly i'm homeless i have nowhere to go i'm in new jersey haven't finished my ged classes and don't have a job. I can't just go to friends house don't have any or my parents because they don't have a room for me i'm so stressed about what i can do now i feel so stupid and worthless. i don't think a man/women with ever respect me and treat me with love

Already did that -_-.Not an std i'm up to date on that and in a monogamous relationship (should've mentioned that)

I've been shaving my pubic hair since i was 14 and never expirenced a problem as i have now I have this almost dime sized bump on my inner lip that seemed to come out of nowhere because it didn't discover it until i woke up with a pimpley pain when i washed. i thought it was an ingrown hair and plucked but that didn't seem to be the problem i tried squeezing it but it hurts and nothing comes out its a little to big to just pop and its in an odd area so i can't see it to great I'm up to date on my GYN/STD testing,and am in a monogamous relationship P.S Has anyone every had this problem,how did you resolve it?. Also does anyone know a better way to remove the hair i've always shaved.Can't afford a professional waxing.does nair work or that shaveless cream. Danke

Let them have eachother obviously your smart enough to know that you don't derserve someone thats no whole hearted.just count your blessings you didn't think she was the one.and i know you'll find a girl to treat you right.

I feel your pain.The best thing i can tell you is to BREATH it helps breathing in deeply through your nose not your mouth during sex or masturbateing helps the orgasim become more intense. even more if you can tell that your about to cum, take a deep breath and release and enjoy the ride. be cafeful not to over stimulate yourself either with a toy or without because after awhile you will go temp. numb and it will take a few mins for the feeling to come back. I have a hard time cumming without a toy but its important to not be so concerned with cumming because you do then its harder to get there. .And technicaly you shouldn't be feeling him hit your cervix because when a women is arouse her cervix temp raises causing a little more room for the penis.Also the inside of a vagina doesn't have many nerves at all is only the outter zone that has more feeling the inside.which is way women can use tampons its not the tampon its because there are not alot of nerves!. which is why sex is 99% mental/emotional.the problem is you get to tense over it instead of just letting it happen.you seem to be missing that passion behind your sexualty. Your best bet is to relax share a romantic shower or bath.Watch or listen to something sexy become intune with your body and focus on whats going on around you and in your mind breath don't think about the "happy ending" think about how good your toy is making you feel or how turned on you are by you husband. Maybe a different type of toy might help also like a vibrating c*ck ring. i hope this can help. let me know how it goes

I tired a cvs test before and it was the same way as long as it nots 50/50 then you should be fine.If you feel that concern at the results there are confidential pregnancy test you can check your local yellow pages,or you could by the E.P.T test it costs more but its well known for working.

Thats great to hear that your going to try to help yourself thats the first step to moving on with your life.I wish i could have gone to therapy but don't have the funds.but anyway i hope it helps you feel better because life does go on after a break up and your one step closer to finding true love. good luck

I don't think you should forgive her,because what type of "friend" would go behind your back and say you have herpes you can sue for her defacing your name like that if it caused you to loose a job etc. and even if she had a crush on that guy thats no excuse for her to act like a five year old and spread rumors thats just childish.I mean whats to stop her from doing something like that in the future like if you go hang out together whats to stop her from talking trash about you to other people or guys you might be interested in .. Be careful who your friends are.

I'd first like to say aplaude you on realizing on your own his motives now before you got suckered into being a play thing. The best thing for you to do is to get the furniture with a good friend present and don't let them leave you to alone,or just have the friend be there in your place.another thing you can do is give yourself things to do that day so you know you only have a certain amount of time to move your stuff and then you can do whatever else needs to be done on time. Thats the best i can recommend i hope it works out for you

I think you just answered this question yourself your supposed boyfriend is what i'd call an "A hole" please don't take ofense but any guy thats gonna you physically emotional verbaly is just that.you made alot of mistakes by leaveing a good job to be by his side you should have thought over the facts of what if you broke up would he fire you or better yet would you want to work around an ex one that wronged you in such a horrible way. Its not a relationship where he leaves you behind or flirts with other girls of doesn't even want to show you his real emotions that isn't love healthy.I think the best thing to do is to leave him even more so if you said he seemed like he was on drugs.you can do so much better for yourself.Don't stay with him seek surport from a family member or friends if you have any left that are still there for you.if he hits you once whats to stop him from doing it again even its because of drugs of liquor.he obviously isn't mature enough to be in a healthy relationship he just wants to have his cake and eat it to.Don't make yourself his possesion.Please let me know how it goes. try this hotline they can help you too.. 1-800-799-7233

i think you should just go for it have sometime with her outside of work inviting her to dinner would be perfect or maybe a sit in the park or to the movies maybe a nice non club bar its very a open and relaxed setting. don't be shy its better to know then to never know.i'm rooting for you.

I think the best thing is to try and see if you can hang out some time as just friends where you can tell that your curious at if she may find something she likes alot about you..Best thing is she may actualy tell you that she is attracted to you and you can go from there Bad thing that could happen is she's just an outgoing and friendly person and you may misreading her signals and either she's straight or just isn't into you in that way.my only concern is if you tell her and she rejects if you'd be ashamed to keep going to that restaurant does she get very close to you and is touchy?.. I hope this helps you some . let me know how it turns out

Thank you for the information 8) . i'll definatly look into it now just wish we had a car to just drive to hobo hehe

Hi, I'm just curious to speak to anyone here who is either a porn addict or ex porn addict or someone who has dealt with one before. I've been with my boyfriend for 1 year and 5 months and he has had emotional affairs both over cyber space and on the phone (phone sex ,local escorts) and i was crushed when i discovered the emails,hotlines and phone bill i went into a frenzy. naturaly... my ex was the same way,but because i love my current boyfriend that much i decided to get to the root of this demon and understood the problem wasn't my own but his hes suffers from Porn addiction (not to be confused with sex addiction) but they was no physical one person..right now after the worst discovery of his affiar we're both working on him staying "clean" i made him change his emails and i deleted his phone sex account and told him this is his last chance..I want to help him get over this so we can grow,if not for us then his future as a good boyfriend. (also we watch porn together we have a very open minded sex life,which i'm fine with its just when he does stuff behind my back or he ignores my needs thats when i become upset ) even though i want to trust him i still have low self esteem from what has happened and i need some surport or someone who understands what he or i am going through. where interacial i'm spanish and he's black but i noticed alot of the porn and operators he was looking at where white thinner then me and had D cups and up .and i'm only a B-C and moderately plus sized.because of this i feel less and less wanted by him even though we have a great sex life i feel that i don't pull him in the way those women did physicaly its just i don't know how to recover and feel that i'm not attrative to anyone. he things he wrote in his emails to those women felt like he was another person. if anyone knows some SAA meetings in northern NJ OR better yet a good hotline to call,and if you have any stories to share please let me know. thanks.