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jazn84

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  1. jazn84
    Thank you all for the responses. I have been healing with NC and I do feel strong enough to think rationally, but I will always have it in my heart to want her back. I feel like Iv already hit rock bottom when she was seeing that guy and Im headed upwards now. I dont think I can get anymore hurt than I did at that point. Well last night she called again! This time at 930pm. I was goin to pick up but my heart starting pounding and I got really nervous and didnt. She didnt leave a message and after I missed her call I was thinking to myself do I really want to get sucked into the cycle of believing there is hope, only to get hurt again? Then again I wont know unless I talk to her right? Im doing sooo well right now, goin out, hanging with friends, doing well at my new job, and most importantly being able to be alone with myself without fear. But I still think of her with every step I take. So today I am thinking I will call her back when she gets off work. I dont want to come off as playing "games". If she picks up I will keep it brief and see how shes doin and whats up? If she doesnt pick up I ll say "hey got your call last nite, hope your doin well. Have a good night" or should I not leave a message? You guys know I want her back, but I dont want to be "spinning my wheels" again. We have so much history together and I want todo it right to get back together. In the past Iv let her back so easily and I dont want to let that happen again.
  2. jazn84
    Hi guys, Iv been dating my ex for 2 years friends for 6 years and I we broke up because I got too dependant on her and she needed space. We were "friends" and still doin the same things for the past month after. Well she started a rebound relationship 4 weeks ago which lasted 3 weeks and came back to me and apologised for the way she treated me during it (doormat), but we didnt get back together. But we did get on terms of talking again, returning calls, hangin out and I slept with her once. So last week we got into a fight because she was with the rebound guy as just "friends" she said. I was drunk and flipped out on the phone saying I cant believe her and harassed her =(. She said she was done with him and now still hangin out?So I sent a apology email that night saying "I was irrational and I dont want to lose our friendship, if you can forgive me call me back". I started NC the next day relising I cant be her friend right now because I want more than that. So on day 5 of NC she calls me at 2:45 am (the time she gets off work) and doesnt leave a message. I didnt call back and now 2 days later (day 7 on NC) I want to call her back now. I have more control of my emotions with this NC and feel more independent and BETTER. This is the first time Im giving her the space she wanted. Should I continue NC and let her call me back again? Our friends have said she misses me so much and she will eventually call me again. Well she did. What do I do?
  3. jazn84
    I have noticed this and your right. I played hard to get with her at first which got her beggin for more and now she has me I geuss she isnt that into me anymore now lol. I really thought letting her move into my place would help but it didnt. Thanks, Iv been talking to a few girls and I would have to say they have been helping me alot from putting too much effort and attention into my roomate. And thats the thing, I brought over this one girl and when my roomate came home from work she asked me about what we did where we went and there was jealousy there, like she would say "Aww we do that etc." and stuff. These are the mixed signals that confuse me, she will start sit sit down next tome then move to another seat ,then cuddle with me one night then sleep on the couch the next night ugh! And your soo right Im up against 3 other guys and her ex who she still admits shes in love with. Its funny tho, we were suppose to meet up with 2 of the guys friends and they backed out and she said they were scared of me because they are in their 30s and Im only 20 and they are insecure she says lol. And about the rules I told her theres no sex in my room other than with me lol and she accepted. I geuss now Im gonna stop tryn to get affection out of her and act confident and continue to see other girls, maybe she want me back once I stop tryn for her. Thanks guys! u helped me greatly.
  4. jazn84
    Thanks for the reply. Your right about being open and honest Im just so nervouse about bringing "us" up. Yesterday we talked about how some of our friends act weird about us cuz we live together. She said all her friends think we are goin out and we are not she says but they are starting to relize it. I wasnt sure how I felt about it but I did ask her if shes dating anyone and she said no, which I find it hard to believe. Then I asked her why out of all the places she could move into she moved in with me compared to her other guy friends places. She responded I feel most confortable with you, we have history, I trust you, and my other friends (3 other guys she could have gone to) are just friends that I have fun with but I wouldnt want to live with them. So what I got out of this talk was we are just friends? and she trusts me the most out of all her other friends? Its so weird how our relationship moved so fast and was so physical and now this. Anyone else have some advice for me? Thanks
  5. jazn84
    Heres my situation as short as possible. I hit it off with a old friend and we acted as a couple but were not label as one for a full month. It was a very physical relationship and we are both on rebounds. Then 2 weeks ago she disapeared for a week and stop calling everyday and one day jumps right back tome. We hang out and catch up at her house then she gets kicked out by her mom and I impusivly let her move into my one bedroom apt tryn tobe nice thinkin we will keep progressing whatever we have. Its been a week so far living with her and she has been acting different as in not showing as much affection tome and treating me like a friend. I feel I have dropped into the friend category ugh! She started talking to her ex again and theres another guy she has been seeing and she always says she not dating anyone when I ask her. The mixed signals she gives is really frustrating. One night she will sleep on the couch and the next with me in bed. But mostly on the couch. We havent slept together in two weeks and Im not sure what she thinks of me anymore. I m afraid to ask her how she feels about me because Im afraid the spark we had is out and I dont want to admit it. I live with her and I thought about just cutting off any "I want u"attetion I give her and maybe it will spark us again? What I think about her she is confused what she wants or is just playing the game. She knows I have been talking to other girls and I can tell she gets alittle jealous also. I really like her but Im afraid all she wants now is a frinedship. My main question is how can I get her interested again while living with her? Stop the attention? Act like I dont care about the other guys? Help! thanks
  6. jazn84
    Im in the same situation but who Im seeing I know already who she has slept with and its even worst that they are my friends! Its a feeling that really bothers me and is stopping me from wanting togo out with her. If i were you I would just remember she is with you at RIGHT now.
  7. jazn84
    Ok I have known my friend for about 4 years but we always have been in our other relationships. I rarely use to talk to her and about 4 weeks ago she called me and hung out one night and almost had sex. BTW we are both on rebounds and we know it. I was thinkin it would be just a one night stand but we have been in contact everyday since and she now sleeps over about 3 days of the week. We both admit we are single yet we treat eachother as bf and gf and all my friends think we are goin out. She has said she wants a bf to me a few times but she really doesnt know and I feel I now want a gf after hangin out with her all these past weeks. My problem is she likes this other guy and she doesnt hide anything about it and she even asked me about this other guy from work about if she would be leading him on goin to see a movie with him. I told her no but she still canceled it to hang out with me.Im not really worried about the other guy shes interested in and she knows that but she does spend more time with me than him and sees Im not jealous about any guys she talks to. The question is are we FWBs? We have talked about where we stand and the motto is "you do what you want and I do what I want".But we act like we are goin out! Its confusing because she now shows affection tome in front of our friends. Also yesterday she gave me a quick kiss after saying how she loves sleeping in my arms and even tho we are having sex already it was a surprise to me and meant alot. We dont kiss (in sex we do)but we do touch hold eachother alot and in public I have my arm around her shoulders but we dont hold hands. And now I want to kiss her but Im scared of how she will take it. I do want to be exclusive with her now but Im afraid of getting hurt again. Another issue with her I have is she is a big flirt since she is a waitress at a pool hall but I know she is honest and do believe she would be a good gf. I was thinkin of waiting and letting her continue i geuss dating and slowing everything down and backing off alittle to let her figure out who she wants but I dont know. Im starting to think about her alot now which is scary kind of. My friends say she does like me thru her actions such as buying things and always taking me out. I know she likes me but I dont know what level on. I do know she loves the single life freedom I give her with the "you do what u want" vibe I give off to her. Also I know we are on rebound and what scares me she seems almost too perfect for me. What you guys think?
  8. jazn84
    No need to call she just called me! haha And she already knew im goin on a date tonight with this chick so she said for me call her when Im done.
  9. jazn84
    uh... i think you are emotionally attached if you're stressing like this. look, if you have something to say, then call her. While DG and I have disagreed on the "phone game" in the past, (I was in a special mood that day ) But, it is rather silly to play this waiting game. good luck Your right about me gettin attached and Im tryn soo hard not too! I know right now Im infactuated with her because she is the total opposite of my ex. We have so much more in common and I keep on picturing myself goin out with her and I will never know if she feels the same if we keep playing these silly games so Im definetly goin to call her tonight. Thanks guys!
  10. jazn84
    I think iam gonna call her tonight. it was clearly stated she didtnt want a bf before we did anything tho. At my party she said tome we cant be acting like we are goin out around our friends and stuff especailly because my friend of mine is still not over her after 7 months and she doesnt want any drama. So I dont even know where she really stands. When I do call her should I just forget about it as if it didnt happen? I just spoke to a friend and she said give it a day cuz I would look emotionally attached or sumthin which im not if I call her right away. Ugh!
  11. jazn84
    Your right Dragongirl, but I did respond everytime she contacted me, it was me over analyzing what I should do and turniing this into a game I hate to say. Just now, she said she would call me and didnt and i geuss blew me off? I dont know, I do want to call but wanna hear what yall think. I really like her and she was my friend first and still is I hope, it was made very clear between us that we wanted tobe single so I dont wanna make her feel like im forcing anything.
  12. jazn84
    Last thursday I met a old friend of mine I havent seen in months and we ended up messin around but no sex (she wanted it). Woke up the next morning on just 3 hours of sleep and tell her before I leave to work just lock the doors when she leaves or wait for me. I come home 5 hours later and she still in bed sleeping naked waiting! I was thinkin this is just a one night stand or sumting. We hang out cuddling as if we have been goin out for years for 3 hours then she goes to work. When she left she gave me a hug and I tell her to call me sumtime. She gets off at 3am (shes a waitress) and texts me! I was like wow she still thinking about me. Iv been telling myself im not gonna look desperate or clingy and not call her( I ruined my last relationship being that and pushing her away). BTW I just got out of a 3 year realtionship exactly 2 months of NC ago! So she texts me and i text back a hour after (I didnt know i had it) and no response so I went to bed. Saturday, I give her my first call to her at around 4pm but she didnt pik up and I felt bad as if I was rejected again. The rest of my day I was edgy and was just telling myself over and over it was a ONE night thing! But later that nite she calls me at 11pm I was soooo happy! She said she was sleeping and just woke up. She came over and hung out at my party. After the party I kicked everyone out except her and we ended up watching a movie, I didnt want to sleep with her because of her past but it we ended up doin it with her intiating. She accused me of being a huge @$#^tease lol. Next morning she leaves to work and Im thinkin this may be sumthing more. Sunday I dont call her but I do text her to see if she wants to hang out. I dont get a response. Im feeling alittle down but im ok she prolly had a reason. That nite before I go to bed she calls at like 1130pm. She said somthing happened to her at work and she came over and talked. She said a man died at her work basically in her arms and she was really traumatized. I was so shocked! she said he collasped and she got him awake kind of with cpr but she knew in his eyes he was dying she said. No one in the whole bar reated but her.The man died as the ambulance came and she said he couldnt hold on any longer. I just gave her a big hug and held her and said I was proud of her and she did all she could. So we are on the couch laying after and Im falling asleep holding her and she said to get into bed and she will be there after watching family guy. Monday-I wake up in the morning she asleep on the couch. I leave and say I will call her later to see hows she doin. I call her after work and the conversation was short and shes ok. She asked me if I wanted her to call me after school, I was like sure. But she didnt! Today is Tuesday do I call? Just to make it more interesting she on the rebound too! She broke up with her BF cuz he beat her a week ago and she says its completely over. What should I do? I do like her and I feel we moved way too fast.
  13. jazn84
    I think you should only meet up with him when your emotionaly strong enough to deal with anything that happeneds. It seems your scared to be hurt so I didnt think it was a good idea to ask him to meet especially with the first contact in 6 weeks. If you cancel Iam sure that will really piss him off and really confuse him. So I would go and show him the new you and dont bring anything up about the relationship. Have a good time nomatter what, if you guys are about to argue stop yourself! Have a good time and keep it short. I only wish my ex will call me its been 6 weeks of no contact also and she has a new bf! hope this helps,Good luck
  14. jazn84
    Thanks rainy soul, yes i have ran the worst case scenerio and I wouldnt be surprised if there sleeping together. I have already been trhought the worst part and I feel im strong enought to handle any outcome I think hehe. But i was wondering what would I accomplish even if I did get to have a nice short coversation with her? She would still be in MN and I would definetly be her saftey net after wards and looking look weak if I called. I dont want to speak to her but send a text showing I care. I wanna keep me in her mind still and was wondering like a text saying "Happy st patricks day,hope your safe and well out there" and I dont wanna do it for a response but to let her know I still care and keep my presense in her head u know? And my friend said it wouldnt show her Im waiting for her or trying to get back with her esp cuz the holiday has nothing todo with love. What u guys think?
  15. jazn84
    Ugh! Its been one month NC and I still miss her! I wanna make a move by sending a text asking hows shes doing but I dont know. In the past when her and her friends break up its always them to initiate to get them back to being friends always! I keep on thinkin what if she waiting for me to call? And to make things worst her only friend she talks to(liz) I know is not talking to her nomore because of after the incident when she called and my ex put her on speakerphone and completely ignored her with her new BF so Liz hung up! Is this good or bad news? Now I wont be able to know hows she doin out there and hopefully she getting lonely and sick of working and living with that guy. Ugh i know im stronger but after this NC thing I feel better and I dont!
  16. jazn84
    I agree with everything you said but how would NC be great for a short time? And a simple text can show her she still has control esp if shes with another guy right?
  17. jazn84
    Perfectly stated^^^ Im on a month and 7 days NC and I still want my ex back but I not obsessed with them anymore like I was the first 3 weeks. And like you said if you dont get back with your ex you will be prepared for it with all the NC you have used to better yourself.
  18. jazn84
    My ex did all the same things then drop me cold once she found someone else. Shes using you for all the benefits of a BF without having a BF. When I stop giving her the attention she wanted she always wanted it even more, and I gave it to her which was a mistake. Dont let her play you.
  19. jazn84
    I agree also, I wrote like ten emails after my ex broke up and moved away from me and relised afterwards how they werent helping my situation to get back with her at all but makin my chance slimmer!
  20. jazn84
    I would follow everyones advice, just wondering what led up to your last break up?
  21. jazn84
    ^^^great advice, my ex broke up with me and said never to call again, I want to call in a couple months but i am not sure, its been a month and no call from her, and she has a new BF so thats prolly why, I just hope she relises how impulsive she was =when she broke up with me and remembers our great 4 years together.. Good luck to you and that quote "the one that cares less wins " does make sense. Im gonna remember that.
  22. jazn84
    I got dumped by my GF of 4years and she immedietly is goin out with her new roomate (originally just a friend) and work with him now too. I hope they are a rebound because they have rushed everything and see eachother 24 7.
  23. jazn84
    I didnt tell her that her relationship will not last thank god, but if it doesnt I am sure she will learn somthing from it. I geuss all that matters now is that she is happy with him an maybe down the future we will cross paths again and things will be alot better for us after this experience without eachother, but I cant wait on that, I have to move on as she has now. Its been one month almost of NC and I all of this is still unreal, I geuss time does work and my emotions are under control now,but just thinkin how one month ago we were making love and so happy and now we are at this point is unbelievable. I hope she has not forgotten about me, she did tell me nomatter how hard she could try she will never forget me b4 she left, but then again I dont know her anymore now.
  24. jazn84
    No, I dont want to see it fail and her get hurt. I just think its odd that everyone agrees its goin to happen with how everything is goin with them and she will be devastated when it doesnt work out. Im just afraid for her and I know I have no control of her actions and no responsibility for her. I love her and I know I want her tobe happy, just I think as everyone else she is setting herself up out there. I still care for her even after what she has done. Its so hard for me to stop caring or wondering what will happen esp when she gets back. I love her and hope things work out for her, just dont they will and was wondering what you guys thought. And I really just want her friendship, I am over the fact she has every right tobe with someone else.
  25. jazn84
    Thank you guys for the support, I do not want her back anymore but Iam curious how do you guys think there new fast pace relationship of working and living together will turn out? Is this a rebound? will they get sick of eachother? Shes is distracting herself with him and thats why she has completely changed from the person I knew up to her drive up there. Everyone says she setting up herself to get hurt and her new BF is a huge flirt with a long history of dating coworkers. How are their chances of having a sucessful realtionship? And I cant wait till he learns how pycho and insecure she is.
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