a.d.c.

Eating out is the BEST. Only an extremely ignorant man wouldn't like it. And that's the truth.

I was gonna make a topic of this exact same thing but I got beaten to it. It's strange that it happens huh? I really don't understand it. Anyways since my 2 year relationship ended, I've managed to replace my ex with girl friends. It works just the same. Other females think that they're my girlfriends when they're just friends and they become interested. That's why I'd rather hang with girl friends than my guy friends a lot of the time.

I had to laugh when I read that. I've been guilty of that so many times and luckily it's gone how I pictured it most of the time. I hate to say it (though I don't feel guilty) but 2 months ago I went to an old high school aquaintences funeral with the ulterior motive of seeing a few old girlfriends from back in those days. And sure enough 3 of them were there. I hadn't seen them in a few years. But I knew this "chance" meeting could very well turn into a probable meeting so I went. I don't know. Would you all say I'm bad for that? I hope I don't come off as coldhearted cuz I'm not. But I really wanted to see them and it was the perfect opportunity

You bet it does. And it's no coincedence that you two make eye contact with each other quite a bit. 1.You like him 2.You've caught his attention Only thing now is to open up conversation and see if he's looking at you so much for the same reasons you're looking at him.

Taking a break in a relationship is counter productive and you're taking a risk. Attempt to talk it out instead 1st.

Bro, you need to think with your head and not your heart. She's been with other guys and she doesn't want to tell you how many? And you have unprotected sex with her? And you're still with her and accept this? Cmon man, use your logic here. And have more self respect. You're having her sloppy 2nds,3rds,4ths,5ths,etc. Contrary to what alot of ignorant people believe, no one needs to sleep around with others to figure out that the previous person they were with is the one. Analyze your situation and check yourself man. I mean don't you think you deseve better for yourself? Alright later

At this point the best thing you can do es is nothing. I know it seems strange but it's the truth. Ask yourself, what haven't you already done to try and sway him? You've basically done everything. If he's wants to come back he will eventually, but let time pass. Who knows by then it might have been so long that you may not want him back. Think about that.

Cmon man. Look I'm telling it like how it went down. I know the difference between trying to make the customer feel at home AND a full on flirt session. And I doubt her after store hours calls to my cell were courtesy calls. And no I wasn't looking to see if she had a ring on or not. I was looking everywhere but her hands.

^^What you just described there, I've been through that exact situation before. She's gonna decide to either be with you or not. It's totally her decision. It doesn't matter if you're speaking with her not. Remember that. By not being her friend, your sending her a clear message. And it also puts a stop to what she's putting you through. It also helps you clear your mind. If she seriously wants to get back with you she'll let you know.(Eventhough I question how much desire she actually has if she's with someone else). But in the meantime don't just wait around. Be proactive and do things to help you move on. Give NC some time. Then you'll be able to see what her true intentions are regarding you. What I did with my ex was I told her to call me if she wanted to work things out. And if she didn't then not to call me.(Maybe you want to do it that way). Well she called nearly 3 months after no contact whatsoever to try and work things out, but unfortunately for her it was too late. Like I said try NC and give it some time. She may change her mind but you may too.

She can compliment you and tell you that she wants to be with you all she wants but the fact is that she's not with you. You can't be friends with her when you still hold strong feelings for her and hopes of getting back together with her. My advice is to stop being friends with her until you can get those feelings to subside. By the time they subside you may not even want to be friends with her any longer since you may not see a point to it by then. If you can't get those feelings to stop then at least your taking positive steps to getting over her eventually. Plus that time that you don't talk to her may make her change her feelings towards you and vice versa. And yes being friends is all to her advantage. You really don't have much to gain from it. So do what's best for you bro.

I sent you a PM es

Conventional wisdom says that she doesn't feel it for you bro. She and her cousin both gave you negative answers. If you can handle just being friends then by all means talk to her. But if you have an ulterior motive to be her friend then you should stop talking to her. #1 involves hope. Hope just creates illusions and prevents you from thinking straight. So that shouldn't really be an option.

What's up Dallasite? That's cool what's happened to you. Call it fate or whatever you want. What's important now is to just be smooth and let things flow naturally between the both of you. I think asking her to lunch is a great way to catch up. Dinner can be left for the possible 1st date. Believe it or not most people tend to think dinner is for more intimate conversations than lunch. That's why I suggest lunch. It's more informal you could say. I don't remember where I read or heard all of this but it makes sense to me. Anyways one major advantage that you have is that you both already know each other and have history together. At the same time there's alot of catching up to do. So yeah just be cool about it and take things day by day now. Best of luck to you

That's real talk right there. Only the relationship veterans can totally understand the meaning of that. To the rest it doesn't make much sense. And you can't say something like that unless you've experienced it and know what it's like. Anyways I feel you on that hockeyboy.

Well bro, you revealed yourself too much to her. This is your ex after all. It's all games and competion right now for the both of you. You shouldn't have shown any emotion when she mentioned the other guy and her plans. You should have just went along with it and played it cool. Don't let your emotions get the best of you. Play it like a game of chess and just use your head not your heart. Look all humans have the natural desire to feel wanted. How do you think she felt when you displayed your displeasure with her about going out with another guy? Yea, you bet it made her feel good(eventhough she cares about you). How about you reverse it. Imagine it was you who had someone to go out with. Don't tell me you wouldn't gloat even a little. And knowing that it bothers her would be a total esteem booster for you(even if you care about her). Like I said, it's all games right now. And you gotta know how to play the game. She kisses you, then goes out with another guy. Just take it in stride, and let things flow naturally. Don't get caught up thinking about it too much cuz it won't help you. I can't really help you on the whole issue of having prospects though. If you want to date other women to get your mind off of her then that's good. But if you want to date others just to show her up then I wouldn't bother cuz that's risky and it could drive her away which I don't think you want BUT it could make her jealous and want you back. You know your situation better though. I'm assuming she broke up with you. Unfortunately she has the upperhand right now because she can date others and still know that you want her back(you've proven this through your actions). You on the other hand have to play it cool and act like it doesn't faze you in the meantime if you want to have a chance with her again. But ask yourself a few questions. Is everything you've done and are doing worth it? Are the chances that good? Are you limiting yourself? Bottom line just do what's best for you and your well being. Can't stress that enough people. BTW how old are you both?

Annie, I don't know of any man that wouldn't like a nice young woman to strike up a flirty conversation with them. It's actually quite refreshing. Since for the most part it's men that have to show initiative when they're interested. A few months back I went to return an item at an electronics store and there was a nice girl working there. Well she not only helped me out, but she also complimented me on my cologne, and looks, and a few other compliments which I'm kinda embarrassed to tell. Well I gotta tell you that I walked out of that store feeling higher than ever. That girl made my whole week. So much that I went back and give her my number. I later found out through a coworker of hers that she's married. It didn't stop her from calling me though. Well I didn't want to get involved with that sort of thing so I didn't answer her calls. Anyways this is all besides the point. The thing is ladies, if you see a man that catches your eye, don't hesitate to go and make conversation with him. It's something out of the ordinary for us. It's like a total role reversal and like I said earlier it's quite refreshing. I think most guys on here would agree with me right? Imagine how many more people could possibly get to know each other if both sexes opened up like that equally? It'd be great.

Yeah I think I can help ya. He's either playing games with you or he could actually regret telling you to leave him alone. But I strongly think it's the former cuz you said it's been going on for awhile. Right? I don't mind reading some of your other posts to get a better idea of the situation, but you have over 850 posts. So it's kinda hard to sort em out and find the ones dealing with it. If you want you can put some links to the ones explaining it. And I'll check em out. I've been through the games and regret before(I can pretty much tell the difference)

It's simple. It's a power game. He told you he didn't want you calling him(which meant he really did want you to call him). And you didn't call him. He said to leave him alone(which really means he doesn't want you to leave him alone. He wants you stressin over him). And you did leave him alone. You did what he said(but didn't mean). So now he's losin at his own game. So what does he do? He calls and leaves you a message. What does that do? Well it pulls you back into his game. How do I know? "Now everytime I start to try to get myself together this happens with a phone call,I really dont know how to take this conversation and im not over analyzing just curious as to why last week he told me he didnt want to talk to me then now he is leaving me a message letting me know what's going on,When I read it my heart stopped and it started making me think of him again,What do I do from here and what could this conversation have meant and why is he messaging me now after he just told me he didnt want me calling?Well I didnt!So can someone please help me out on this!" ^^I'd say by what you posted that he's getting the job done. One small insignificant message has you thinkin all these things. I've played these games with ex-girlfriends before and they work for awhile. But you know what? They eventually catch on. What you need to do is turn the tables around and beat him as his own game. He expects you to call him now cuz of his little message. Right? Well, I guarantee you that if you don't call him he'll start calling more and more wanting to know what's up. And to see if you care or not. He wants to keep the upperhand(knowing you stress over him) not lose it. Let me ask you 2 questions. How old are you both? Who broke up with who?

You're boyfriend took a big risk by asking you for a break. When a man asks a woman for a break, he knows it totally opens the possiblity of her meeting someone new. Your boyfriend is willing to take that risk and I'll tell you why. He told you he wanted to spend more time with his friends, he wants to meet other women, & he finds himself looking at other women more often(that's alot of stuff to put up with. You're loyal for still being with him). The way he sees it is that he's told you all of this and you're still with him. He figures that in this time apart he can go and do what he wants and you'll still wait around for him. And by what you said in your post it's apparent that you would take him back. It's all too easy for him. He knows this hurts you and he knows that he's got all the power right now to do what he wants in this relationship. (I've been guilty of this before & I've paid the price for it. It taught me a great lesson for my other relationships though) BUT I bet if you start talking to other guys, go and have fun, and make it seem like this time apart doesn't faze you, then he'll be singing a different tune. He'll realize that he could really lose the woman he says he wants to marry and he'll come back in total regret. That is if he means what he says. IMO taking a break in a relationship is counter productive. And by your post I question his priorities. And whether your the top one. You should be if he's in love with you and you've been together for 3 years. Right? OR I guess he could be a commitmentphobe, which isn't good either. Like I said earlier you seem to be a loyal person. You deserve better from him. And if not from him then someone else. You're thinking with your heart right now and condoning his actions. Think with your head and really analyze this situation. Do what's best for you and your well being. Hope it gets better

Yeah that honeymoon period of the 1st couple of months that everyone experiences is starting to wear off in your relationship. It happens in most relationships. Don't take a break though. It's counter productive. Instead have a talk with him about this. Agree on trying to work on this or trying to minimize the stupid arguments. See if things change for the better. If they stay the same then start considering whether to break up with him. Just do what it takes to make you happy(your well being). That's what's most important. There's plenty of other people out there. And yes, I've been in this situation. It grows to be a hassle and very tedious. Something a relationship isn't supposed to be. Right?

Can you make casual conversation with her? Somewhere in your conversation mention what you did the past weekend(make something up if you want. It doesn't really matter). And once you tell her what you did, then ask her how her weekend went. And then it shouldn't be too ackward asking her what she usually does on weekends. OR vice versa, you can just say what's up to her and ask her how her weekend was. THEN tell her how yours went. And then ask her what she usually does on weekends. Go with the flow. Let the conversation come naturally. And just see where it goes from there. How about that? Does that still seem ackward? Even if it does it, it all comes with the territory. I'd say it's just less ackward if that.

That's gutsy right there. Some girls like that BUT some girls will feel uncomfortable being put on the spot like that(that's not a good way to break the ice). Do it this way bro and you'll have a better chance. Ask her what she usually does on weekends just to get an idea. It's a GREAT way to break the ice. And she'll be able to tell somewhat that you're interested in what she does outside of school on the weekends. Once she tells you then you should be able to gauge by her response whether you should go ahead and ask her or not. If you do, be cool and vague about it. Say something like "hey maybe we should hang out sometime or something". If she agrees, THEN you can start planning on when, what to do, and where to go. If she doesn't pick up on the fact that your interested in her then just keep cool and try again at a later time. OR you could still go ahead and ask her, it's up to you. The important thing is to try and read into what she says and what her reaction is(comfort level) before you ask her to hang out.

It's a pride thing. It's very natural for us. He wants to show you that he's doing fine without you and that you're not the only girl out there for him. BUT in reality he did it cuz he stills feels something for you and he knew it would bother you to see him with other girls. I'd say his plan worked, wouldn't you? Him being sweet those first couple of weeks was his way of winning you back through affection but it didn't work. Now his gameplan is to do it through jealousy. It's really a desperation move. Trust me on this. I've employed these tactics before. Sometimes they work, sometimes they don't. Anyways don't sweat it girl. It's all a game. And you still have the upperhand.

A woman's breath on your neck kissing you, that's ecstasy right there. Especially while making love to her. Makes ya feel like you're imperial

Bro your thinking too much. You don't need a gameplan for this. Just go with the flow. Look, just kiss her AND if she opens her mouth then more likely than not she wants to french. If it's just lips then it's just a lips kinda kiss. Yes, it's as simple as that. PEACE