brokenangel

I know you may be right, but your posts scare me! Why would he still tell me he loves me and give me hugs and kisses? When we talked about it the other night he said that he said, "it feels like a part of me feels empty inside". Does this not mean anything??? I hate to say it now, but those little things give me hope so does the fact that his friends are telling me it doesn't make sense to them and that they just think he's scared, but will be back. I don't know.

Exactly what I'm scared of...Letting him do this, be with other people, then him move on when we have something great together. Come on, have any other guys been through this? I need some explaining b/c mine can't really much than he already has. Am I right in believing that if he does this, he will move on???

a.d.c. is right. I guess that he knows this because of how much I love him. But I don't know how to act any different. He's my best friend and I don't want to lose contact with him or let him go. I don't think he's changed. I think it's more of a "this is it" kinda thing and he wants to do his thing. I just don't know if I can accept it. I told him this, and he says he would understand if I wouldn't take him back, but I just can't fathom why he would want to risk losing me. I really believe he is telling me the truth (someone in here said that he may be lying). Well how can I find out for sure other than how I said, "If you really just want this to be over, let me know instead of giving me some false hope." I think he wants to be back with me, but there's this other side that is conflicting. For example, the night after we broke up, he asked me to come hang out for a bit. He invited me to his dad's for dinner this Thursday. Doesn't this sound like he's confused instead of " dumping me nicely"? My head could just explode right now.

I have a huge problem. I have been dating my boyfriend (well I guess now ex) for 3 years. He was 18 and I was 21. This past Saturday he told me he needed to take a break. We are now 21 and 24 (me). This talk had come up before starting about a year ago. Things were really good in our relationship, but once he started feeling he needed this break, he would just hang out more with friends. I figured I'd just give him space, let him hang out with the guys as much as he wanted and it would get better. It didn't work. It came to a head and he finally decided to do it now. It was really hard on both of us, both crying and both pouring out feelings. He told me that I was the first person to make him believe in soulmates (how we met), the first person that made him think of the future and being married, how we are best friends and exactly the same person, and how there is no one better. He says he still loves me and wants to be with me, but just feels married and really isn't mature enough for this kind of relationship right now. He also said when we first started dating he didn't look at other girls and now he looks frequently. He says he needs to go out and do what he wants, which includes being with other people, but he knows in his heart that he wants to get back together with me. He said he feels he should do it now instead of say if we were married and had kids and it still bugged him that he didn't do it earlier. He wouldn't want to ruin the marriage and all because of it. Now I am having the worst time because: 1- There were no problems in our relationship. We get along GREAT. The only issue was this. 2 - I can't fully comprehend why if he knows he wants to be with me for life, why he feels the need to go mess around with other girls. It really bothers me. I don't understand it at all. I will feel cheated on even though we're not together. How can he be with someone else if he loves me??? 3 - I don't know how to feel about taking him back. I know I want him back, I know we're meant to be, but I don't know if I can deal with him having been with other people. 4 - I feel like I'm losing him. We are best friends and have told each other everything for over 3 years, it's weird not being around him as much, being intimate, and not knowing if I can ask what he did when he goes out. 5 - I don't know when he'll be done taking this break. I don't intend on being with anyone else, but the fact of not knowing how long this will be kills me even more. 6 - I think he's confused and it confuses me. Last month was our 3 year anniv. and he got me a diamond bracelet. He also told me the night we broke up that he was also looking at rings the day he bought the bracelet, but felt he was too young to do that. I don't get how someone can feel that way, then want a break. I guess mainly I'm looking for a guy's opinion or someone who has went through this. I am afraid to lose him, but keep hoping that if it came down to it, he wouldn't be able to be with someone else because he loves me. I just feel like the days are dragging along and I have a constant feeling of nervousness and sadness. Any help is appreciated. Thanks.

"Besides, I think those places are quite degrading to women, and that is also probably what's getting under your skin." Yea, this is exactly why I feel weird. I look at him and can't picture him being at a place like that. Doesn't seem right. Hopefully that's the end of it.

Why does part of me feel like a sucker or something? I still have this weird feeling when I look at him sometimes, thinking like, "The other night he was in a room of naked girls..." And from what I posted previously, does it seem like he's regretful? And I know no one can say for sure, but does it seem like something he would do again? And sexygrl19, I have a feeling we are a lot more similar than you think. I played it off way more calm on here than how I really was.

Wow, I didn't think anyone would want to know what happened...So he came back pretty drunk (they went to a bar to drink some more afterwards). The tension and curiosity was killing me so I said, "How was it?" and he said it was, "Okay." then I said, "Did you have fun?" and he said he felt weird because of the people and the girls. He said he talked to the bouncer for awhile because he was a biker (my b/f rides) and he just gave the girls money to jump on the bday boy. Ugh. When I asked if the girls were ugly (haha, I had to), he said most of them were pretty crazy looking and looked pregnant. I guess it's better that he didn't use the money for his own "pleasures" as he promised not to. I also asked a friend how he behaved at the party and the friend had told me some of them were giving my b/f crap because he sat at the table the whole time drinking beer instead of being up there with the rest of them. I still feel a little weird...He hasn't come out and said he felt guilty (what boy would), but he's definitely been super sweet to me (more than usual), the past couple of days, especially when he came in that night and the next day. I hope that now that he's gone and seen what it's all about, he won't go again. Does it sound like he feels bad and that maybe he felt out of place being there? I hope this situation never occurs again. Thanks for everyone who responded. I really appreciate it.

Thanks again. I will try not to attack as it could blow up in my face. I guess I will just ask how it went and see what he says, but I'm sure I'll just get, "It was okay." Maybe I'll say, "What was it like?" or something...I don't know. I don't know what to do if he trys to be intimate with me. I think I'll feel weird because of where he just was...

Thanks for the reply. I didn't think anyone was going to answer. Sadly, I picture him and all his friends googling and girls boobs and butts in my boyfriend's face. How do I stop from feeling cheated on? I think I'll feel all weird when he gets back.

Do you think it's okay to ask questions when he gets back? I was hoping they were all real ugly, but I don't know if that makes a difference cuz naked women are naked women.

Thank you, HeavenLee. I'm trying to stay calm, but I keep wondering what's going on. I also feel tempted to ask questions when he gets back.

And if you are thinking: "if he loved me he wouldn't go" realise that he could say "if she loved me she would trust me." See, I DO think that's what he's thinking....It's not trust at all, though. I'm just hurt and am jealous, I guess. I don't want to be compared or have it put thoughts into his head like, "Oh, this is what else is out there." I guess I'm insecure on top of not liking my boyfriend looking at other girls, but I don't know... I also didn't want to have sex because I thought that it would be just getting out all his craziness from being worked up by those girls and not me...I just thought that wouldn't be cuz he wanted to be with me...

Thanks for the replies. I am sitting here just looking at the clock...It's horrible. I definitely want us to go on...It will be 3 years next month. I am just trying to see it from his perspective, why he insisted on going even though I don't like it. I'm not trying to control him, but I just thought my feelings on the issue would be enough so he wouldn't go.

So tonight my boyfriend (he's 21 and I'm 24, by the way) is at a party for his friend's 21st . The catch is that it's at a strip club. I am so against it, but he's going to do what he wants, so he went. He says he's curious since he's never been to one, and even though he knows I wouldn't want him to go, thinks I should just trust him. TRUST isn't even the issue. It's the fact that my boyfriend is going to be looking at other naked girls that aren't me IN PERSON. This isn't like porn or something. These girls are right in your face. He said he would sit in the back if he could and not give them money. I still don't feel any better. So, he's there now and I'm feeling all kinds of anxious. I don't know how to treat him when he gets home. It's killing me, but he thinks as long as I trust him, there shouldn't be a problem. I think I'm justified in feeling uncomfortable with the situation. So my question is, what do I do? How do I act when he gets back? Do I ask questions? Do I act mad/upset? Someone even told me not to "give him any" when he gets back. I'm just looking for some advice on how to feel, if I'm overreacting.

This sounds like such a good idea, but I don't think he'd go for it. I don't even know how I'd proposition it...Actually, I've tried something similar, offering to do whatever whenever he wants and also taking pictures, but these don't work...He really doesn't look at the pictures and he does take me up on my offers sometimes, but that doesn't help when I'm not around. I only sleep alone 1 day a week so why is it that that one night every week he feels the need to do that? I'm even kinda fine with him doing it, it's just the famous people, like I said, that bothers me.