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muffe

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  1. Hey! Wanted to let you know that I've been there too! Calling him trying to be with him and getting rejected time after time! It doesn't work you just loose more and more selfconfidence! And before you can be with anyone again (incl. him) you have to regain this confidence! Just for your own sake! You have to know (and get it really good into your brain) that your are worth being loved just because you are who you are! And if he can't see that and dates another girl after just three days then he just not worthy of your love!!! Probably shouldn't wrorry about the other girl so much either - probably isn't serious, just a way of getting over you, not that that makes it ok just a possible explanation! And this doesn't mean that he wants you back, just that it's not that easy for him either! My advice is to be around good friends that love you! And do stuff that you like, espially stuff that doesn't remind you of him! Either try something new or do something you used to love before you guys were together! Just be possitive towards the world! And though it seems impossible and out of reach, I promise you that things are going be allright! You will find happiness again! This pain will pass away! Just believe me on this!
  2. Hi everyone! My ex broke up with me 2 months ago! Our relationsship hasn't been all that good (read other posts)! we have been fighting alot mostly because he flirted alot with everyone but me at parties! and alot of things eg saying how much he wanted to have sex with my friend! I think we both agree that he was a jerk! However I was so in love with him that I ignored all of this and instead just got a really bad selfesteem! So for a month and half I hoped and prayed that he would take me back, but he kept on ignoring me and flirting with other girls! so when the vacation came I went home to try and get over him with the help of my best friends! I figured I had to, to be able to stand another two months of seeing him flirt with everyone (we go to the same school) and it actually worked - for a while I couldn't stop thinking about him, but then slowly he was pushed out of my mind! and I met this really wonderful sweet guy that I fell inlove with! and we had fantastic sex, however he acted really strange the next morning, hardly talking to me or anything! He kissed me goodbye (really good kisses) and said that he looked foreward to seing me again (after I had said it first though)! And he never wrote or called or anything! Now this is the guy that I kissed on newyears eve and felt so bad about it, but my bf foregave in an instant! (read other posts)! At that time I really didn't think anything was there between us (from my side) exept a little flirting and the fact that it was nice to get some attention! However he was so in to me and asked me to on vacation with him and everything! and now he can't even write me a textmessage... The thing is that now my ex wants me back! The vacation made him think about how much he missed me and still loved me! He knows about the other guy and that made him really jealous and uncertain (hey this is the way I've been feeling)! The thing is I don't know if I should take him back! I will probably end up doing it anyway...We have so many good memories together, but if i take him back I don't know if it's just for the comfortability and maybe just because that well he's here and he wants me and the other guy is in a different country and (so it seems at least) does not want me! But that's not really fair to my ex either!Now we agreeded to think about it for a couple of days! we are both going to a party on saturday - atleast then i'll see if he has changed or still flirts around! So any advice on this would be much apriciated! I could really need it!!!
  3. I dont think that too much time together in the beginning is good! The miss you effect is really good, because in the strangest way it brings you closer when you see eachother again in stead of you getting tired of eachother! With me and my ex (God I still hate that I have to call him that!) we spend way to much time together in the beginning, because we live at the same school! I moved in to his room after the first week and lived there together for 6 months! That was probably wrong! Oh and we started being together after three days at this school, so we never had any time to stand on our own here! That was probably wrong too! But I can change that now and it was good as long as it lasted!
  4. Thank you for your answers! I'd say his plan worked, wouldn't you? hmm yeah if that is his plan, but i really don't think he wants me back! Him being sweet those first couple of weeks was his way of winning you back through affection but it didn't work. Now his gameplan is to do it through jealousy. It's really a desperation move. Trust me on this. I've employed these tactics before. Sometimes they work, sometimes they don't. But he could have had me the first time so why all these games! I honestly don't he want's me anymore because two weeks after we broke up we were really drunk at a party (where he by the way also flirted wiht everyone) and I tried taking his arm when we walked home and he completely freaked and told me to stop it we were not a couple anymore which ended up in a huge fight where he made very clear that we would never be together again! Then for the strangest of reasons he asked if I would sleep next to him and that ended up in us having sex! And that's how our litle sex thing started I guess! I hope that you guys are right, but I guess I doubt it!!!! Still any encouring words or male inside information is still very welcome!
  5. Hello everyone! So my boyfriend and I broke up a month ago! We had been together for 6 months! Now there is alot of problems related to this for instance the fact that I would still like to be with him eventhough I know that it would be bad for me because he didn't always treat me right! The thing is though after we broke up people have been able to see on me that i've been a bit sader and have just kept more to my self while he has been the way he allways has been; having fun, beeing in really good mood all the time, being center of attention as allways! And the best thing that at parties he now flirts even more than before! Like last friday some of went the a new pub and there of course he had to kiss all the girls exept me I guess I just wanna know if this is a typical guything to do after a breakup or did it just not mean that much to him? And is the flirting a sign that he is over me? Oh and can I ask him these things or...? The first week and a half after we broke up he was relly sweet to me giving me hugs and talking to me and so on! But now we hardly even talk at all (might have something to do with me being more with myself) only when i come down to his room and then watch a movie talk a little bit have sex talk some more and then I go back to my own room! Ok any advice is more than welcome!
  6. Hey everyone Read almost all your posts (takes a while u know), but I'd appriciate it if someone could help me out! well here goes... My ex and I where together 6 months, not as much history or deep connection as 12 years i know, but it still meant alot to me and to him i'm sure (i was the girl she been with the longest and he used to say that I was the person who had ever given him the most love - maybe just talk i don't know)! We only broke up a week ago, but I'd like some adwise on what to do now?I really want to try again! Now I know we havent always been really good - we've argued alot especially lately! But, maybe I'm being naiv here, i think we still have a chance! But he doesn't want to give it another shot - he said he had enough and we're just too different! And maybee we are but i'm just not ready to give up yet! I miss him so much! I really do love him and he said that he still loved me too, but it just wouldn't work out! I've learned alot about myself these 2 months and realized what I could change in our relationship, but i guess i was too late! Now I would like us to get back together, but my situation is a little more complicated so I don't think the plan will work! First of we live on the same shcool with only 40 other people! so we will have contact because it would be impossible not to! thereforeeee the dating other people would not work either because there are no other people around! We only have three months back on this school so time is running out and when it's over we'll go home and seeing that we live in different countries it's not like we'd just run in to eachother! The part about acting happy is what i'm doing these days, but it doesn't seem to work! He basically seems as if he's already over me! He can talk to me, but it's like i'm just another one of his friends! He just seems so happy! I would love to go and talk to him about wanting him back, but that would just make me seem needy and desparate, and that's not really what i'm going for! Could you guys give some advice???
  7. Hey everybody! Thank you for all your great answers!!! I had decided to tell him, butthen I saw him and he was just so wonderful and sweet and I didn't wanna hurt him!!! But I did tell him! And suprisingly he smiled at me (while I was almost in tears) And said: youre so sweet! It was newyears, its alright! just for the record I didn't, but its allright! And he kissed me! And I still don't quite get it, but I'm unbelievable happy!!! That night we stayed up all night and just talked (something we rarely do,I'm afraid) about all kinds of stuff! How we were as kids, what we use to love doing, our first chrush (when we were 7 and 8 ), losing people close to us! We talked until the next morning (when I had to get up and go to school - he had the day of) and it was just so great!!!! In some strange way we suddenly got alot closer than we were before! And one thing I learned from all of this is not to be so jealous! I used to be quite jealous, but I actually believe him and now I'm gonna kick my self every time the thought comes to me! So that's a good thing! So everything is really good! And I'm very inlove with my wonderful guy!
  8. Thanks for your advices everybody! Still haven't decided! I think the "easy" way out is not to tell him, but then it might, as cleverme said, eat me up! And I'll be lying to him! On the other hand if I do tell him he is gonna get really hurt and I don't now when he's going to trust me again! And I'm just wondering ifanyone really apriciate honesty or if it would just be to get rid of the guilt! If I do tell him how am I suppose to regain his trust? just time or what? I know to some this is just a kiss, but I'm not sure how he's going to react! A thing I didn't tell last time is that him and his ex were together 4 months (just like us) and then she slept with his friend! I know it doesn't compare to a kiss, but it might make him feel even worse!
  9. Okay - first of all don't tell her that you don't like it! My ex did that once and well.... when you're lying there all in the mood, so happy and in love and he says "you don't relly taste that good" it kinda....well lets just say ruins the moment!!!! Now your girlfriend might react differently, but I took it as a huge criticism of my body! At least please don't tell her while your already in bed! It's fair enough that you don't like it! I don't think it's all that fun the other way aronud when my boyfriend asked me if I would ... you know erh let him come in my mouth! But just be creative in other ways! Best of luck to you!
  10. I was 14 and a half! No real regrets! He was a great guy and we were together for a couple of years! I'm happy that he was my first eventhough we're not together anymore!
  11. Allright! I never thouht I'd be asking strangers for advice, but my best friend have her one problems these days and I really need advice!!! Yesterday I was at a newyearseveparty with my friend! Alot of people was there among them a guy I kinda had a crush on 2 years ago - in highschool! Found out that he had had a crush on me too! anyway I got really really drunk (no excuse - I know) and we kissed! Now the problem is that I already have a boyfriend whom I really love! We've been together for 4 months now and we've had our problems and fights! But we had just worked it out and everything was good last time we were together!Now we havent seen eachother for 2 weeks because we've both been home for Christmas! But in 3 days i'm going back to school we both go to - and live at! And then I have to face him! Nothing more happened! He wanted to have sex, but I told him that I couldn't because I actually had a boyfriend! But it still feels so wrong......... I feel so guilty! Ive been crying ever since I got home last night! Now I don't know if I should tell him or not! I don't want to loose him! And especially not over a kiss that didn't mean anything! Because I'm not in love with the other guy - he was just there! My friend said that what my boyfriend doesn't know wont hurt him! I don't want to hurt him, but the damage is allready done! I don't want to lie to him either, because that's not really a good thing in a realationship! But if I tell him the truth there might not be one anymore! eventhough he flirts alot he allways promised never to cheat on me! And now look what I did..... Please help!!!!
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