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Okay so my now ex (we just broke up 2 weeks ago) is very late with her period. She was a few days late when we broke up, and then last week she was getting really worried about being pregnant. So we took one of those home pregnacy test's in the afternoon and it came out negative. That was one week ago. Even though we havn't spoke in the past 2 days, when I saw her on Sunday she said she still hasn't gotten her period. I told her that maybe it's due to all the stress she's put on herself, with work and our break up (since there was a time where she was a week late because she was stressed out about her mom flying out to NY). We told each other that we would have NC this week until Sunday, but I feel that I should maybe call her and tell her we should take another test. Or should we go to a doctor just to be sure? Were both no ready for a child, but if we are going to have one I would like to know so we could start to establish ourselves for our child (yes we talked about doing the right thing and being together if we have a child, but we will need to work things out first). I'm kinda lost on what to do, and that's why I want to know if it's right for her to be so late, or should we really be concerend?

Well I'll give you my opinion on those questions 1) Yes relationships with honesty do exist, you just need to work at it. Me and my now ex, first established that during the first few months. We told each other that no matter what the issue/problem is, we need to be honest with each other (and with ourselves) and be able to sit and talk. To me honesty is related to communication. If you both can be able to sit and talk about things when they happen (not wait a week to say something bothered you) then you both will feel more "honest" with each other. But as you my know, not everyone can be honest, and it is harder for some people to build that type of trust and confidence in someone to be completely honest with them. 2) If you love someone with all your heart, then no one can tear you away, no matter how hard they try to seduce you. Being faithful to someone means that you know in your heart, body, and mind that this person is the only person you want to share your life, and body, with. It shouldn't be difficult at all to stay faithful if the love it true. 3) I do believe in true love and soulmates, especially since my ex is that person. I know that some people may think that I'm saying that just because we broke up, but believe me, she is my true love. You can see true love when the other person really loves you from their heart. Sometimes it's hard to tell, but eventually you will be able to tell if the love you are giving, and the love you are recieving is true and from the heart.

Well there's all kinds of foreplay out there that will help "set the mood". Have you tried any oral, either you giving her, or her giving you. You can also try and get some massage oils, or even better flavor oils (my favorite is the one that gets hot when air is blown on it). Or if you really want to get things going, jut go and raid the fridge. Pull out the whip cream, and put some on the pleasure points of her body (some girls are different, but the nipples, thighs, stomach, and even neck are good places to start). Another thing that will get your girl going (which will get you going) is a full body massage, preferably nude. Pull out some lotion and start rubbing, this is also good for finding what parts of her body are her stimulation points, and the same goes for you. Sometimes mood music even helps set the tone, as well as help you both get in the mood. There's plenty more things, but I think that this could be a little start in helping you find some ways to get you more excited.

Okay first you need to do some realization about him before you start going mad. If he cheated on you a year ago, and now he's wanting to be free again, what makes you certain that he will stay commited to you in the future? Honestly, if he's done it twice now, he will do it again since he knows he can get away with it since you will take him back. That's all he sees from you, someone that he can fall back on once he's done "sowing his oats". Even though he gave you that ring, and says he loves you, all he really wants you to do is sit around and wait for him to come back. And when he does, he's going to tell you everything you want to hear (I won't do it again, I know your the "one", and so on), but he really won't mean it. He knows that he has a girl on the side (you) that will always be there waiting for him if he can't find anything else out there. You need to just get yourself out and live life to the fullest. Thinking of ending your life over a guy is definatly the wrong choice (and some people feel this way after a break up) and if these thoughts keep coming up you may want to consider speaking with a therapist. Give yourself time to really think about things. Get out a pen and paper and start to write down all the things in the relationship you didn't like (this can even get down to the little noises made during sleeping if you want), and then post that list somewhere you will see it everyday. Also make a list of all your good qualities (you may feel like you don't have any right now, but you do), and everyday add another thing to the list. Next thing you know you will understand what you want out of a relationship, and that he's not even worth your time anymore.

Well just ignoring her will make you look like an ass, and I'm guessing your in HS, so things will go sour fast if that happens. I tried that with an ex of mine back in HS, and then a couple weeks later I was walking through the hallway and she came up to me and slapped me, saying that I was a jerk and was acting like a child. Ignoring someone does make you look like a child, and it will give her the clue that you are still not over her, and that she still has a presense in her life. If you really want her to get the hint, do the opposite. Say hi to her, give her a wave and walk away. If she comes up to talk to you, start talking about how great things are in your life, and mention some new girl you met (if it's true, don't make it up). Make her realize that you feel so much better now that your out of the relationship with her, and she'll realize that you don't really care if she is or isn't in your life (even though you don't want her there at all). It's all abou mind games when your in HS, and most girls are better at it than most guys, but if you understand that you can be the bigger person and still be civil about it, then she will get the point pretty quick.

I would say just stay your path. You both seem to want each other (just from the way you say you both keep in contact and stay close in each others life), and I think that your doing the right things by keeping yourself busy and still meeting new people. You also have made the right steps in correcting the things that caused you two to separate, and believe me she will notice this and it will make her feel more confident about you and about having a relationship with you again. Just stay the course, and see how things pan out over the next few weeks/months. By then you should have a firm grip on what you really want from her, and she will be the same. But that's just what I think.

His problem could be that you are too close to him. You've known each other your whole lifes, and he may just see you as his "sister", which grosses a guy out when he thinks about a relationship with that person. He also has his license and feels like he's a "free man" and is ready to just go out and have fun. If you still feel like he likes you (which he may) then try to set up a "date" with him (in which he could drive somewere with you). You could even just ask him if you two could go for a nice, long drive (in which you could start to talk more while out driving).

You need to let her go. She wants to hold on to you while she goes out and experiments with other feelings, which is very wrong for her to do. All it's going to do is make your feelings worse and worse. If she said she wasn't going to have another b/f, then says she's going to go out with another guy then she's just stringing you along. Then she tells you that there wont be any physical contact and you see them hugging, so once again she lied just to hold on to you. I understand that you love her, but she's not showing you the same amount of love (remember actions speak louder than words). Just let her go, and once she realizes that she doesn't have her "safety net" (you) she will start to realize that she made a mistake. Sorry to be so blunt (or rude) but she's making you into her "fall back" guy, and when someone does that to someone else I feel that it's the most insincere thing to do to someone.

Thanks man, and yeah I think I worded it wrong, because I love her too much to give her an ultimatum. I just want her to get the space she keeps saying she needs (I mean if she broke up with me because she needs space, then why does she keep calling me?). Yeah I look back at the advice I've been giving out and although some people have said it's good advice, I seem unable to follow my own advice. It's like I can understand what needs to be done, I just can't do it myself. So yeah thanks for just returning the advice because sometimes I need to stop thinking with so much emotion, and just let things work their course. I know that we will end up together again, especially since everyone she knows is telling me that she really wants to be with me, she just need to "grow up" so she could be at my level. Thanks again man, and if you need anymore help as well I'll try my best to give you the advice/tips I know.

Well just as I thought my ex broke the NC before Sunday. She called me today while I was on my break from class. When I answered, she sounded kinda surprised that I answered the phone, and even said that she thought I wouldn't answer and was going to leave me a message. I said I was on a break, so what's up. She said she was just calling me to give me the number of one of our friends that wants to hang out with me, since all of his friends are in relationships and he want's to go snowboarding with me. I said okay, got the number, then said goodbye. She was nice, and sincere on the phone, but I still felt weird since we just talked the previous day about not calling each other or anything until Sunday. I also found it weird that she didn't just give him my number, since she said she talked to him and he was all excited about hanging out with me and going boarding (he's single, but also trying to hook up with one of my ex's friend). Anyways I'm not going to really look into this issue that much, but if she does try to call me again either later today (when she gets off work) or during the week, then I'm going to have to tell her that she either needs to stop calling me and get her space, or accept the fact that she still want's to be with me and we will work out our problems together.

He's not "in love" with 2 women, he's confused about what he wants. He has had one girl for 2 years (you) and then got to "try something new" (other girl) and now he doesn't know what he wants. It's easy to fall in love with someone in a short period of time (not just guys, but girls too), but he's not "in love" he's just trying to tell you that he wants to still have you around while he figures out how he feels about the other girl. Don't just say that men don't know what Love is, since women can (and are) the same way sometimes. I met a girl who said she was "in love" after only knowing me for 1 week (and we only saw each other twice), while I've been with other girls who didn't know if they loved me until way later (like 1 to 3 months after dating). As I said though, he's not "in love" with this other girl, he just got to try something new/different and enjoyed it. Just give him up, tell him to go ahead and figure out things with this other girl, but your done and aren't going to wait around while he does that.

Ok Meisje this makes things a bit more complex. If the girl he cheated on you with was his first (and a somewhat close friend if they play ball together) then he definatly still has some attraction to her. He could tell you different all he wants, but if he didn't have such strong feelings for her then he wouldn't be putting himself in that type of situation (playing a physical sport with her, being in her house to talk about relationships, etc). She definatly has a hold on him, whether he wants to see/accept it or not. Even though he stopped in the middle of sex, it doesn't change the fact that he went through with it (you know that it's not just sex too, they could have started kissing, maybe had oral, then had sex). Yes it could be a bit notable that he became disgusted and stopped, but once again that doesn't overrule the fact that he still stuck it in and went through with it for a while. If he was about to break up with you, then he should have told you he felt that way before he started to mess with this other girl, not afterwards. If the space is going well, then keep it at that. Don't change it just yet. Keep things civil and short when you talk, and definatly don't get into relationship conversations (like you said keep it to businees, school, and life). One thing you may want to think about (and others may disagree, but this is my position) is that you may need to make him know that this other girl is someone you don't really want him around. Think about it. If you two get back together, and she is still in his life, don't you think the possibility of this happening again is going to still be there. I know that if my girl (or ex I should say) had done that, I would let her know that I was uncomfertable with her still hanging out with the other person, and that she should definatly stop seeing that other person until the trust is built back. But it's your choice, if he says it won't happen it again, then you just have to use your own judgement on whether it will or wont. Again he may say no, but the other girl my think of him as a "friend with benifits" after what happened, and may try to "seduce" him again.

Well if you want to tap into it, then play some hardball with her. This goes back to the whole giving space thing. I may be wrong about this, but from what I heard from other people is that some women (and guys) like a challenge. Both of you know that the relationship is coming back, especially if your both being friendly and all that stuff on the phone. But keep yourself a little "unavailable" to make her want you more. It's drives girls crazy when a guy that they really want plays a little "hardball" (not all girls but some) and next thing you know she's going to want you back in her life and to be more than just a friend. Just take things slow, and keep it cool. Don't just jump back into the relationship because then she will get the feeling that you were just waiting around for this to happen and that she has complete control. Once again though, this may not work for everyone, and you may not want to do this (you know her better, and you know how she acts better than anyone else here), but it's just what I think will help you in this situation.

His uncomfort is due to the fact that he lied to you for so long. Even though the whole time he was nice to you and loving to you, his mind was tearing away bit by bit because of his naughty act. I know that you left this part out, but how did the cheating happen? Was he drunk, or just horny? Was it with a girl he knows or just some random girl at a party/club? The answers to those questions will really help you understand what type of person he really is. I do believe that he really cares about you, or else he wouldn't be getting so sick when he see's you and realizes what he's done. But you also have to consider if you really want to put yourself through this again (once a guy cheats, the thought of doing it again is always in the back of their heads). As for advice on the break. Well give him that space he says he needs. Although he says "be a friend" and "stay in contact" it's just going to make things harder on both of you, especially you. Just keep yourself busy and don't start thinking about whether you should send him an e-mail or anything like that for a good solid week (maybe even 2). By then he may start to wonder what's going on, and will try to make the contact with you (which in turn is helping him realize his "comfort" around you). Don't keep yourself waiting on him to make a decision so you can make a decision about your life. If he really want's to be with you then his time alone will make him realize what he's missing out on and he will be back.

Well I was in that same situation for about a week, and the reason is that she is having a hard time letting go. She knows that no matter what she can always fall back into that "comfort" zone she has established with you. She really wants to hold on to you as long as possible, and it's going to tear you up the whole time she does it. If you feel like you really need some NC with her, then you need to just be blunt and let her know the next time she makes contact. You don't have to be rude or anything, just tell her that by staying in touch with her right now is really hurting you and that you need some time to think. Give her a short time frame and see if she can stick to it (like say I need a few weeks, so call me next Friday if you really need to talk). If she keeps contacting you then it's just going to make the "break" time harder, and the chances of "getting back together" will be even more difficult (I know since I finally made that step and now I feel like I may not want her back if she does come back). If you really want her back and see a future with her (I'm the same way with my ex) then you need to just let her go, and she needs to do the same. Also you may want to not make yourself so "available" to her. Don't text her right back when she sends you one, wait a day or so, and when you respond just say that you've been really busy. If she calls, try to be really brief (make up some plans if you have to). Let her know that you will be there, but that your not sitting around waiting either. It's hard man, and if your love for each other is true than it will conquer this and you two will be happy with each other again. I hope this helps a bit.

Thanks you guys for the tips. I know in my heart that when she says she loves me that she really does love me. She has said that this is really devestating to her as well, and that she can't understand why she needed to break up with me to figure things out. But I told her if she needs time then she needs time, and I can't interfere with that. For the past 2 weeks I kept trying to establish the NC rule with her, I even told her one day that I just can't talk to her anymore because it hurts too much and asked if she wouldn't call me for a week, and then if she feels different she could call me. She ended up sending me an e-mail (just a friendly hello, hope your doing well letter) a few days later, and called me a few days after that. I feel like she may do that again this week. Everytime she calls she tells me how much she misses me and misses being able to just talk to me. But when she does that it makes me feel like she wants to work things out or at least try and make things work, but it just turns into another battle of one of us still needing more space. I really believe that love can conquer any task, and that our love is/was really true. I have been in my fair share of relationships, and of course I thought that I was in love everytime, but when I met her I knew that it was just "puppy love" before, and that it was true love with her. I never felt that way before, and when I would say "I Love You" to her I really knew that it was coming from my heart, not just being said just to say it. She also feels the same way I do. Even her family has said that she is giving up the "best thing" to happen to her life by not being with me, but they also say that they know she will come back to me. All of her friends tell her that she should be with me, because she will never find love like that ever again. She even tells me (when we talked after Church) that in her heart she knows that I am everything that she wants in a relationship, it's just hard for her right now to be in our relationship while trying to establish herself as a "woman" and not a "child". But it's just so hard, and I know that I just need to keep my head up, keep praying, and just let time do it's work. I know deep down in my heart that we will be back together sometime soon, I just don't want to force it or push her futhre away by showing her I feel this way. I won't ignore her at Church, you both are right, I will just keep things civil and if she wants to talk then I will talk to her. I always told her that I would always talk to her no matter what, and no matter what time, all she had to do is take the first step. Well thanks again for the advice, and I will just try to persevere through all this.

Please anyone. My ears are open to any type of advice or tips. My heart is really torn right now. I know I love her, she says she loves me, but her actions make me think she really doesn't love me. I don't want to love someone who doesn't love me.

Well my situation is pretty much explained in a couple other threads in this forum. Right now me and my ex are establishing the NC rule, we saw each other at Church and after that when we talked we both said that we really shouldn't make contact with each other anymore (such as phone calls, e-mails, and letters). But the problem is that we are both members of the same Church, and I'm currently going through the process of getting baptized at Church. So it's not like either of us could just give up Church (and some people had said to go find a new one, but I've been to all the others and this Church is the one I really like). So I know were going to end up seeing each other, and she was actually mentioning that we could just keep talking on Sundays at Church. But I feel that it's just going to make things more complicated between us, and also make it impossible for us to really get over each other if we are going to get back together. I still love her a lot, but I don't want to anymore. Even though she has told me that she still loves me and still see's us getting back together after this break, her actions have made me think different. I don't want to be rude to her at Church, since it's not the place to be rude to someone, but I don't want to have to sit there next to her and have all these feelings running around in my head. Should I just sit somewhere else, and hope that she gets the clue that I don't really want to sit next to her? Or should I voice out these thoughts/concerns to her when/if we talk after Church next week? I know that I have all week to really think about things, and may just not even care about this by next Sunday, but right now I really need help and advice if anyone can help. I just don't want to hurt anymore, and I don't see myself letting her back into my heart/life anytime soon.

Well thanks Annie for your info. As I said, my current ex broke up with me for different reasons, I only thought about this because of previous relationships before my current one where that was an issue (as I said, one girl actually ended things because her friends had a crush on me). I just wanted to know from a girls perspective, if friends having a crush on your b/f makes you uncomfertable.

I was just thinking about this today when me and my ex talked after church (you can find all the details in other thread I have posted), but something she said kinda stood out in my head. She said that all her friends really, really, like me (she even said some of them adore me) and a lot of them want us to get back together. But on the other hand I started to think that maybe she felt a bit uncomfertable about it, and that she doesn't want to be with me right now because of her friends. I know that we have talked and that she has explained herself, but I started to think about that because a few girls that I dated before meeting her broke up with me because their friends liked me too much (one of them said she didn't trust her friends being around me, and that I should be out of the picture). So I guess my question is, do girls get jealous/uncomfertable when their girlfriends like their boyfriend? If so, then why do they break the relationship off? Shouldn't she take it as a compliment that all of her friends are jealous that she has the "perfect" guy? Or do girls begin to stop trusting their b/f because of this (she has said she knows she could trust me to never do something like that to her, but she doens't trust other people)? Any info would be great.

Well if you still feel like it's too soon to be picking up the friendship, then just tell him that and leave it at that. Don't try to just go out with him for that coffee just to be nice, since it may lead him on into thinking things can change, or that you may want to work things out. If you do think that talking to him is nice though, then maybe just try to establish a "only phone call" type of relationship for now. Just tell him it's too soon for you guys to start seeing each other again, but that you enjoy talking to him and would like to continue that everynow and then (don't get into a calling each other everyday habit). Hope this helps.

Well of course a person will try to make things easier on the other person during a breakup, and if she doesn't really know what she wants then this is going to be a hard time for you. If by not wanting a boyfriend right now is her answer, then that means she wants to go see what else there is out there before settling down with you. If she does say that maybe you 2 should take a break for a while, be sure to establish what type of break this is and want boundries are being set. Such as, is the break going to be exclusive (your both still "together" just slowing down the relationship and taking time to establish yourselves) or is this "break" going to mean that meeting new people to find what you want is the path (then you could also try to see what boundries are there as well). Just be careful, and give her space. Go ahead and give her all her time in the world to figure things out, but don't let her think that your going to sit around and wait for her to make a choice. I know you say you love her, and if she really loves you then she will realize it soon enough that she got rid of the "best thing" in her life. This will also give you time to see if she really is the one for you, go out and talk to other girls. You don't have to take things any further than that (that's your decision) but you will start to see things about her that you do or don't like. Eventually you may realize that you don't really love her that much anymore, and that there are better options for you out there. It's a hard time to be in, but give yourself and her some time, and if things were meant to be then your paths will cross again in the future.

Well thanks both of you for the tips/advice. I guess I'll give a little update since some things have been said that may change certain things. So even though we said "no contact" last night, we both go to the same church, and both said we will be at church the next day. At first I told her that I would sit somewere else, but she said that she would like it if we both still sat next to each other so we could at least talk. So I got to Church went inside, and she met me inside (usually we meet in the lot and go in, but I didn't want to wait around). When she came in, she said hi and asked me if I was "okay", since she could tell something was up. I was nice to her (but not to nice to make her think I'm still clinging on the relationship) and I was short with her (but not to short to make her think that I was pissed off at her, especially since we were at Church). She leaned over and said that it was a horrible thing that she did "breaking things off" during my B-Day, and I just told her that I was upset at it at first, now I just find it funny since we met on my B-Day as well. Anyways after Church is when the conversation started. Instead of leaving with her mom after Church, she said that she would stay with me for a bit so we could talk, then asked if I could drop her off at home so she could go to work afterwards. I said fine, since talking with her is necessary at this time. So we sat and talked. We said alot, I talked about how I felt she was giving up our relationship just to have a social life with friends and so she could work full time. She said that she just needed time to grow up and become more independent and self reliable, instead of being "babied" her whole life. She also said she wasn't giving up on me, and that this isn't about having a social life (although she said that she was bored with our relationship since we were stuck in that rut of only staying at home with each other, and that going was a bit fun). I also told her that it was upseting since most of these problems that we had could have been worked out together, and that breaking up wasn't the best solution. She also said that she had tried many times (which she did) to try and change things, but I never really "listened" to her. I told her I knew that was one of my biggest problems (which I had also mentioned during our relationship) and that I need her help to become a better "listener". We talked a bit more, and she had said that during this break she's not interested (or isn't going to) in getting into any type of relationship with anyones (like kissing, sex, and anything in that area). She also said that was something that was bothering her about us, and that we needed to make things different since we shouldn't be having sex with each other outside of marriage. She said she really wants to stop having sex with me (which also meant she wasn't going to have sex with anyone else during this time) until we are married, which she said is something she still sees happening between us. We talked for a bit more, but the she needed to get going to work, so we walked to her door and said some final words. I told her that I don't see us having a friendship anytime soon (which is what she said last night, I was just repeating it), and that if we ever do become friends again, then I would only pick it up if it meant we were working on getting back together as well. I told her I see myself with her in the future, but if we become "just friends" then I really don't see myself really being in her life since I would want to us to get back together. She said that she also wants us to get back together as well, and that she still see's herself being with me it's just that right now it's "too early" for us. We gave each other a hug, said goodbye, and then she said that she would see me at Church so we could talk again. So even though nothing has changed in our relationship last night, we both still established that by taking time apart, meeting new people (as in just talking, not going around and having sex) will help us realize what we want in a relationship, as well if the other person is who we really want to be with.

Well after 2 weeks of constant confusion my g/f (now ex) and I decided to just end it all. We were together for 2 years, and during the past 2 weeks we have both been going through some confusing things (the whole story is in this thread link removed ) and yesterday I was kinda just fed up with the whole situation. It was my B-Day, and after I got back from snowboarding, me and her were going to go to a friends party and hang out. When I got home though I called her, and told her that some stuff was on my mind. Although I was upset at something I shouldn't have been (miss heard some information) she said she really wanted to come give me my B-Day gifts, and then we could just talk in person. The party was also cancled so she was going to hang out with her friend at her house afterwards, so we wanted to see me for a bit. So we hung out for a bit, I opened gifts, we all talked for a bit, then I told her we should go to the other room to talk. When we sat down I told her that I felt more confused now then ever before. I felt like I was putting in all kinds of effort trying to be "just friends" while working on our relationship, and I felt like she didn't want to put in that same effort. She said that she does see a relationship between us in the future, but right now she really doesn't want that. She also said that we rushed into being friends after the break up, and that we both didn't get enough time to really figure out things, and it's making her confused too. So we talked some more, and then it pretty much ended with both of us wanting no contanct from now on, and that we both are going to just move on and live life without the other person, and just see what time does. We walked out to her car, she told me to never forget that she loves me, and that she didn't break up with me because something is wrong with me, it's just she needs to grow up. She also started to say that she wanted me to just go out and enjoy life as well, and that she's going to do the same. She also mentioned that although she does want to go out and meet new people, she doesn't intend on getting intimate or anything like that with anyone, she just want's to figure out what she wants in a relationship, and if it really is me that she is supposed to be with. I told her that I was going to do the same, go out meet some new people and stuff like that, but I'm also not interested in anytype of intimate relationships or stuff like that either. So as I said things our now over, I am feeling really hurt inside and kinda rejected, but those are common feelings to have. I found it kinda ironic (and funny) that 2 years ago I met her and we hooked up on my B-day, and now were breaking up on that same day. It did make me feel really upset though that she would be that "cold" to end everything on my B-Day. I kinda felt that she should've just said "let's talk tomorrow after Church", but then I also wanted to just get things over with so it's not all her fault. Anyways, I know we may end up trying to be friends again later on, and I know that I will still have feelings for her (she impacted my life in ways no one will understand) and I know she will still have feelings for me (I impacted her life in the same way), so I don't really know what I should really do. I still see myself being with her in the future, and she feels the same, but it's kinda devestating to know that she may be with someone else for now, and I may be with someone else as well. Anyways, if anyone wants to comment, ask questions, or give tips, feel free, I'm open to anything right now just so I can help myself get out of this spiral of confusion, despression, and despair.

It's really hard, especially if the breakup wasn't over something bad (such as cheating, or abusive, and stuffl like that). Me and my ex broke up 2 weeks ago (she felt like she needed to grow up, and stop being treated like a child from everyone she knows) and we both wanted to still remain friends. We gave each other a littel space, and then tried to become friends after about 1 week, but we realized yesterday that it was still just way to soon for us to be friends (since we both still have really strong feelings towards the other person). So we know decided that no contact from now on will be the only way we can figure things out, move on in our lives, and then see if we want a friendship or relationship with each other later. As I said it's really hard, and you need to take some time apart before trying to jump into the friendship.