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Well I think you answered your own question. If you keep worrying about going out to places since you may bump into your ex, then your just going to end up being a hermit and wondering if she will be at the grocery store when you go. Just go there, have a good time with your friends, and if she's there, then she's there. Oh well. If your over her, then there's no need for anything more than a friendly hello or a wave, and that's if you want to do it first. If she comes up to you and wants to talk, well that's just up to you, and that doesn't mean you have to talk to her if you don't want to (simply say "There's not much to talk about right now, but maybe another time" or whatever you want). If you do talk to her, don't get into a relationship talk, and don't get into anything that relates to an "us" talk. If you really feel like your over her, then you really shouldn't care about seeing her or not, but seeing how you feel a bit "uncomfertable" with seeing her again, then your really not "over" her as much as you may think. If that's the case, then just politely let her know that your not read to really talk to her, and that your just there to have a good time with some friends. Anyways, I'm just rambling, but I would just go to the club, meet a few girls that want to dance, and have some fun. If she's there, then she will get the point that you are "over" her and are there to have a good time with other people.

Although JonnyG gave a good definition of a strip club lapdance (or a private one), a lapdance can be done just about anywhere that has some music. My g/f just gave me a lapdance the other night while we were at a club. All the girl needs to do is sit down the guy in a chair, dance "for him" (usually a bit provacative) and let him enjoy the "show". If a girl was trying to do that to your guy, I think that it was more like either a party or club type scene, and while you b/f was sitting down a girl tried to dance on his lap (hence the name lapdance). That's my 2 cents anyways.

You need to find a happy "medium" in the two. You need to spend time alone (or for yourself) to help you get a grip on your issues. But that doesn't mean you need to keep No Contact with him if that's not what you really want. Don't contact each other everyday, but try to keep a few days for yourselves so you both can figure out what you want in life and in a relationship. I don't know if this is what you want to hear, or will help you, but when my g/f and I broke up, we kept casual contact with each other for 2 weeks, then we both were able to realize that what we want is each other, and have been back together since then.

Wow, I didn't expect to get this many responses, or find out that there are a large amount of guys that just enjoy it. Out of all the guys I know (about 15), I'm the only person that enjoys doing it , and there's only 2 other guys that do it, only because they feel like they have to do it. It's funny since all of my g/f's friends are jealous/upset that their men don't act the way I do about oral, and I've even had a few of the guys start asking me about oral and why I like it. Oh well, guess it's not everybody's cup of tea, but glad to know I'm not the only guy out here.

Look your young and definatly not deserving this type of treatment. I say call the cops. Flat out, no questions, call them, tell them this guy has been abusing you and you want it to stop. I can understand you like him (actually I really can't, but part of me does since I've had family in this type of situation), but he is never going to change his ways unless he gets a "swift kick in the face" from reality, or he goes "over the line". Believe me, you don't want to be the one he "goes over the line" with, and you definatly don't want to be around someone who can put a smile on his face in public, but when the doors shut the "horns" come out. You deserve better, and this guy needs to get his @ss kicked, plain and simple. Don't think you can change him, and even if you can , think about it. Would you really want to put yourself through this for x amount of years??

I like the in-between of the two. My g/f is a lady for sure. She presents herself in a very respectable way, and just seeing how confident she can be is a huge turn on for me. But when were in the sheets, she can be quite freaky if she wants. That also really turns me on. It's not like everytime she's a freak, and it's not like I need her to be one for us to have "fun", but the fact that she can pull off the "lady" and the "freak" is something I really enjoy about her. From past experiece, I never really liked a girl that was only one or the other, which is why I like the in-between. Girls that were only "freaks" tend to kill the spark after a while, and then things just get old. Girls that were just "ladies" seemed to demanding, and that also got old fast.

Well yes then, you should initiate sex a few times, especially if you don't want your man thinking that he always has to ask for it. My girl and me are both equally attracted to each other, and each of us can take the first step to initate things. Sometimes she will just pop on my lap while I'm typing, and then my clothes are off. Sometimes I'll give her a massage, then her clothes are off. It's really easy to initiate sex if youre in a relationship with someone, and the "surprise" effect is something that most guys (and girls) like.

I think it's exciting, and a bit more sexy when the girl takes the confidence to initate sex. My g/f made the first move when we first had sex with each other 2 years ago, and I never lost any respect or looked at her differently because of it. It was a real big turn on for me, since she made it known that she really wanted this, and wasn't going to just sit back and wait for me to make the first move. So to your question, yes it's exciting (for me) and no I didn't lose any respect for her. It made me feel good to since I made a girl "crave" for me so bad that she took the first step and initiated sex.

Well you are in a sticky situation, for one she just got out of her relationship, and you were the main reason. She's probably a bit confused right now, since she cut off her feelings for one person, and immediately jumped into a relationship with another. She may just want things to go really slow, and doesn't really know how to tell you this without making you feel rejected. My advice would be to sit down and talk to her. Ask her about things that she wants/expects from her life, and for herself. Tell her your side too. But don't push for the relationship right now because it just may not be the time. I'm sure you feel it is, you both have fun, and have a great time together, but she may not be at that level you are at, and she needs time to get there. Just be there for her, and let her know that you will be there and that you will respect her decision, whatever it is.

I've had a few women actually approach me and show an interest, if that's what you mean "come on to". It's not something that happens all the time, but everynow and then a girl will do it (it might be a confidence thing). When I met my g/f 2 years ago, she was the one that actually initiated the conversation, and I just picked up on the notion that she was interested, asked her out, and we've been together ever since then (except for a 3 week break recently).

Well I guess I better buy me a lotto ticket since I have found my true love. How do I know it's true? Because the love felt and expressed is physical, mental, and spiritual for both of us. There's no way I can put it into words for anyone to understand, but I know that true love does exist, especially since after years of searching, I found it.

Thanks to both of you for those comments. Gunblade you I really agree with what you had to say about not wanting to see others in pain, especially caused by me. It just kills me inside to see other people hurting, and if I caused it, it makes me feel even worse. Plus I really don't like to cause direct pain (hitting someone else) just because I'm scared of how far I will go. The last fight I got into in HS, I blacked out and just kept pounding the other guys head into a cement wall (he didn't suffer any real damage, just some bruises) and ever since then I never wanted to hit anyone else. I've been doing good controling it, and using that energy elsewhere (mainly by working out, or hitting a punching bag), and I think that I need to practice telling myself "it happened, and thats it.". Wel thanks again, you helped shed some light on my confusion, and I just need to keep working on it so I can stay healthy and not let my "outbursts" get too out of control.

In my past relationships this used to be a big problem. Whenever me and a ex went out it usually ended in a fight between me and a stranger, or me and her. Most of the relationships I had ended with a girl cheating on me, so this made me a bit insecure about later relationships. But with my current g/f I don't seem to care anymore. When we go out and guys start checking her out, I used to get a bit offended, but then I realized that it shouldn't matter since I knew my g/f only cared about me, and only wanted to be with me. We have been of the flip side though too. Sometimes girls will check me out, and she would get jealous and stuff at first, but now she doesn't care becasue she knows that I only want to be with her. Plus we both look at it as we are so lucky too have each other, that everyone else in the room wishes they have what we have. I guess it's a bit arrogant, but it's better than constatntly thinking that something "bad" will happen. Getting offended or frustrated with this situation is usually a sign of insecurity in yourself and/or in your relationship, and that goes for both sexes.

The best way for me was cold turkey. I stopped smoking cigz and herb 2 years ago, and I havn't went back to cigz since then (I made the mistake of smoking some herb 4 months ago, but wont be making that mistake again). It is very hard, and you need to have someone there to really support you and give you that boost of "you can do it" confidence the whole time. Luckily for me my g/f was right by my side helping me, and my friends (who all smoked) made the effort to help me by not smoking when I was around them, or going somewere else to have a smoke. But you can't force someone to quit, they really need to make that decision on their own, and once they do then you can step in and be their support. Try getting them on something else to help them stop thinking about cigz (such as chewing gum, or sunflower seeds, or red vines, or red bulls, or whatever), and whenevery they have a craving just keep telling them (and make sure that they can tell themeselves) that "it's just not worth it anymore", and hopefully they can turn away. If all else fails, just show them their bank statement and tell them how much money they will save if they stop smoking.

Well yeah it would be a 69 if her body faces your feet, but if her body faces your head, then it's just her "sitting on your face" (I dont' know what it's called, but that's what it is). Both ways offer a different type of experience for both partners, and both can be quite pleasurable for both as well.

Well for one your not alone, there are many guys out there who think the same way. This is due to a trust insecurity you have. But she isn't helping you either with what she's doing (like not answering your calls, or informing you where she is), but that can be changed if you just ask her to talk. Don't mix informing you where she is with asking you for permission, that will just make you look like your being "smothering", and it will just push her away. Also don't make it so that she has to answer all your calls, but she should at least try to return your call if she sees she missed it. Another thing that would help is if when you talk to her, try to get her to put herself in your shoes. Ask her how she would react if you were always gone and never answered her call? It may help her understand that your not trying to be smothering, you just want to be part of each others lifes. There's no real method to deal with your insecurity, you just need to be able to trust her. If you love her, then you need to know that she does have the abiltiy to hurt you, but you need to just trust her that she wont. Another way to help you deal with your trust issue, is to get yourself out there more. Maybe you don't trust her that much because if you were in the same situation you may become a "cheater" (you may think differently, but until your put in that situation you really don't know). Also you can ask her for help (some girls won't see this as a weakness, but as a sign of strength wanting to help your relationship), and just say that you want her to know that you do trust her, your just having a hard time really accepting it (you may want to reword and think that, so this way you don't come out saying "I don't trust you, we need to fix that"). Hope this helps, and I hope you get over this because it's something that can stick with you forever if you don't try to make progress.

Well that really shouldn't be happening unless your body is not positioned right. Try doing it a few different ways, like laying down on your back and letting her sit on your face (like a 69, without her doing any work), or have her put a pillow under her waist to raise her crotch area up a bit higher.

So I've seen a few threads asking girls about giving "head" and if they like oral, and I thought I would flip the table and ask the guys the same question(s). So here it is: Do you like performing oral sex on your g/f, wife, or sexual partner? Does hair matter? (i.e. too much, too little) Do you do it because you enjoy it, or just for the "give and receive" notion? I'll start things off since I started the topic. I love giving oral sex to my g/f, and I've always found myself just wanting to do it for no reason what-so-ever. My g/f likes to keep herself clean of hair (which I don't mind at all), but sometimes she'll just trim it, which is also nice. I don't like putting my face in a patch of hair, so I wouldn't be down their otherwise. As far as doing it for enjoyment, I really just enjoy giving her that type of pleasure. Most of the time it does lead to sex or her giving me oral sex, but most of the time I would just do it until she has an orgasm, or two, then tell her I'm tired and want to just chill, just so she knows I'm not doing it just for her to give in return. Well there it is, lets see who else out there likes it.

Well my situation was quite similar to yours, even with the age gap. Me and my g/f have only been together for 2 years, so it was a bit different for us, but she went through most of the things your ex is going through. My g/f felt that even though we are best friends (which isn't a bad thing), we still needed to be able to have our own life's, and not feel guilty if we were hanging out with our own friends. The only problem was that neither of us had any real friends (all the people I knew were into drugs, and all the people she knew were into being "dirty"), so we both needed some time to just be on our own. She did the same things your ex is doing, she went to a few parties, some nightclubs and other stuff like that with one of her g/f's, and they both got really drunk all the time. I went out with my cousin (who's my only close friend) and I did the same, got drunk, went to nightclubs, went to concerts and so on. During this time though, both of us would call each other a lot (she would even call me a few times a day, just to see how I was doing and what was going on), and we made plans to go out one night 2 weeks after the break up. Same thing happened. We both got caught up in the moment of being with each other that we ended up sleeping together that night. We talked about getting back together, but a few days later it changed into us still needing space and time to see if our feelings for each other were "true". That didn't mean we were seeing other people, but we were both flirting and talking to other people, which made both of us just want to be with each other more than anything else. My g/f would say the same things your ex is saying during our break (such as not wanting a relationship, not wanting to be with someone else, wanting to have time for herself, and so on) but in reality all it meant was that she was confused about "us" and just needed some time to really understand if this was right, and the same went for me. If she's telling you she doesn't want anyone else, then your just going to have to trust her and accept it, or constantly beat your head against the wall wondering if she's with someone else. You two have been together for 5 years, and she may need some time to see if this relationship is really going where it needs to go (such as the commitment and future thoughts), plus she reached the age of being able to go out and drink without any worries (although that's not the reason to end a relationship, the "freedom" that comes with it makes people think). She doesn't want to give you up (5 years is hard to "throw away" in a few weeks) and that's why she still acts like a g/f, but just doesn't want the commitment that comes with it. What worked for my g/f and me was to keep that bridge of communication open, but still keep it to a minimum (sometimes we would go 3-4 days without talking, but it gave us something to talk about when we did talk). You both need some time to do some self-realization, but at the same time you both need to spend some "us" time to realize what it is about your relationship that you both do/don't want. Don't keep pushing her with the questions about "us", instead try to make things more open between you two, taking time to hear her side and let her say what she needs to say before responding, as well as giving her time to respond to whatever you said. As I said this worked for my g/f and me, and some people may say just tell her you want NC to think, but if you don't feel that's right then don't do it. As far as commitment goes, well that goes back to the age thing (which I learned from reading thread here), and girls seem to get a bit "confused" when they reach the 20-24 bracket, and that could be her reason for wanting to either "slow down" or take a 'break" to help get her mind in order. You may want to discuss each other's past (I know you probably already have done before, but this time you may want to dive deeper), my g/f and me learned some new things about each other during a deep conversation about "us" (she never knew I had problems with "opening up" due to being "used" in my past by both men and women. I never knew that her fear of letting people too close came from her past and how the people that were really close to her (ex b/f and some friends) hurt her the most). So just try to keep contact, but don't force it, and if anything else, just follow what your heart wants, and if your religious, follow the path that God set for you, since He will lead you to happiness.

Yeah don't think to much about it, since most girls just like to wear them now. My g/f loves to wear thongs, the occasional g-string (depending on what she's wearing) and sometimes she just goes bare, since she just feels more comfortable (plus she likes to tease me when were out about how she's not wearing anything). If she wears them, it's most likely due to the fact that she may like wearing just to wear them.

For me one of the most important aspects of choosing a college would be education, and how good is the department that I want to study in. I chose SF State due to the fact that it has a great Computer Animation department (although I just changed to Computer Science), and didn't really think about how far/close I was going to be to my family and g/f. I know that you want to make those people happy, but you need to make yourself happy and choose a school that will give you the best opportunity to succeed in life and education.

believe me there are all kinds of guys out there that will like you for who your are and how you express yourself (through your clothes, attitude, and personality). You have plenty of things going for you right now that you may not even know about (like green eyes, I have friends that just go crazy when they meet a girl with green eyes). Your style is your style, and that doesn't change who you are or make you more or less attractive to guys. Yeah some guys may not like what you wear, or "label" you as something because of it, but that doesn't mean you should change, since you will meet a guy(s) that will adore you for those same things other people say they don't like.

Each person's body wil react differently to different amounts of caffeine. One thing to watch out for if your downing the bulls like water, is if you start to have "shakes", or if your body gets a bit uncontrolable after drinking them. That's your limit, and you shouldn't go past that. You actually shouldn't even drink enough to find your limit, at most 5 bulls a day would be more than enough caffeine to make your system get a bit out of control. Yes there has been people that would have seizures and other things from too many bulls. My sister's friend is a nurse, and one night a few guys came in with there friend, who decided to down 3 Rockstar's (double the size of a Red Bull) in a few minutes. Afterwards his body was shaking a lot, and he said he was feeling sick. While in the waiting room, the guy dropped to the ground and started having a seizure. So be careful with drinking too many of those, they really aren't good for you in such large amounts.

Okay I've been here posting for the past few weeks about my g/f and me going on a "break", trying to be friends, breaking up, and then trying to work things out. During that time I received all kinds of advice, and spent many nights reading different threads about things I should/shouldn't do during this time. For the most part I was told to go into NC, and back off. When I did try this for a few days, all it seemed to do was push each of us further away from each other. So after a while of not being able to handle it, I called her to talk, which was a really nice conversation. The next day she called me, and we spoke for a while again. The day after that we went out and during that time we both knew that our love was right, and that we didn't need anymore time apart to know that we want to be together. Today we spent most of the evening together, just sitting by the fireplace talking and reading the Bible together. All though yesterday we talked about getting back together, today we confirmed it and we had a great night of just sitting back and talking with each other, about what we learned during these past 3 weeks, how meeting new people only made us want to be with each other more, and how praying really helped both of us "find" each other again. So all I'm saying is that if your love is really true, and you feel that in your heart you know things are right, then try to keep that "bridge" of communication open between the two of you. For us NC didn't make things better, just made things more fustrating and confusing for the both of us. But keeping some contact made things between us more understandable, even though sometimes all the calls would feel a bit confusing. As I said to most people, you just need to follow your heart, and if you have faith in God then you need to accept that God will lead you to happiness. My heart, and God, lead me back to her, and lead her back to me, and things between us are now stronger and better than they were before.