otrebla

Well said, well done!!

Yeah, that's true DragonGirl. That's why I'm gonna be apart from her 4 months or maybe forever. I'm not fooling myself anymore, I've been improving myself this time, it's just that when she contacts me, all my progress seems to be gone, but I see it as a ship going through a storm, wind and rain can hit me, but in the end I'll arrive to a safe port. And I'm moving house soon, and I won't give her my new phone number, as I don't like to use cell phone, the only way she'll have to contact me is via email, we have no mutual friends anymore(very weird circumstances). So it'll be easier to move on. Thanks for your advice. It's just that I can't help loving her.

Hello Nicholas, thanks for your advice, I was thinking about your posts a few days ago and waiting to see what's going on with your situation, because it's kinda the same thing, when we hang out, she holds my hand and sometimes hugs me, but when she said those terrible things to me, she was not upset, she seemed clearly confident in what she said, so cold, not trying to make me feel jealous, I would never say such hurting things. , also, she wants to burn bridges, because she says she never comes back, that this is not a game(?). Now I only want to be apart from her, very, very apart, maybe 4 months to clear my mind, I won't contact her until christmas. I'll take this as if she's gone for good, and I hope to notice if they don't work out. We can never give up on what we love. Only time will tell... I'm moving on, I laugh a lot and have fun, and I'm looking for a new girl. But she just have to call to bring down all my progress. Anyway. Thank you Nicholas, you've given me a good time, and keep doing this good job with your girl, I know it's just a question of time to get the mature fruit from the tree. And excuse my bad english.

The talented girl.

Suicide is a bad thing to do. I agree with thatguy, unless you can't stand physical pain, suicide is bad any way you see it. There's always light at the end of the tunnel, and if a suicidal wants to flee from pain then he/she can flee literally! somewhere else, start life anew. That's what I think when I suffer. Once I helped a very suicidal friend to get over it, he was done with life, but I hitted him and told him to look beyond the past and stuff, now he's married, has a child and is happy, when I'm down, I think about that day and smile because I helped somebody to hold on to life. Nothing in life worths more than yourself, my grand father used to say: First, me; after, me; and in the end me!

Thank you all for your great advices!!, thank you people. you all are right, and sometimes I try to see things the optimistic way, even when I once saw her kissing him I was fooling myself thinking she wasn't enjoying the kiss. Yes, I accepted to be friends in order to get her back, I was making plans to make her fall in love with me again... Oatmeal, I know, I was trying to make nc forever, but she called at 7:00 AM, while I was still sleeping, cause she wanted to see me, I don't know why I agreed. avman, you put things in a hard but true perspective, I needed it, thanks. edougale, it hurts for me too. But let's hope we can make it, I won't contact her. JT, thank you for your suggested book, I'm looking for helping books, I've just read Herman Hesse's "Steppen Wolf" and it was great, I'm kinda steppen wolf. I'm gonna read your suggestion. Yes Chandler, it's a hurtful thing she said, she's been treating me like garbage and I don't know why, I'm not trying to put myself as a martyr, but she's having a bad attitude towards me, I think the same about boys wanting to be "friends" with beautyful girls, she even said that, yet she offered me friendship. Thank you for opening my eyes and giving me support towards my healing process, I need it.

Hello. Please, please reply. I saw my ex yesterday, she brought the relationship to conversation, I didn't and she said if it's ok that we hang up sometimes as she doesn't want to leave all our great memories in the past, and asked me if I have hope that we'll get back together, I said I don't have hope but I have faith, she said that she never gets back, that this is not a game. she said her new boyfriend fills her expectations. Finally she said she want to be my friend and I said: I'm gonna ask you once more, do you want to be my girlfriend again? she said I can't, and then asked me if I want to be her friend, I said I couldn't be her friend right now. But I called in the night and told her I accept, I'm gonna be her friend, although it's gonna be hard for me. I can control my emotions now, but I assume she's in love now and I don't know if I'll be able to move on while seeing her, I don't want to be her friend forever, help me to make things clear please. Thank you.

Oh, I used to make soup to my ex gf and stay awake all night long when she got ill too. ... Anyway, their loss, people tend to be ungrateful when they get everything easily.

My advice is NC, I tried to be friends with my ex, first date it worked, although I couldn't hide my emotions in the end and I tried to kiss her Second date was a drag, She acted quite indifferent towards me. If your ex doesn't know what is missing, she will know for sure when the one thing is missing is you! Women tend to get bored with long term relationships, they hate routine and look for adventure, if you don't give it to them they find it somewhere else but let's hope they come back.

Yeah, I'm going through the same thing right now. They like to keep us available just in case they fail somewhere else. I saw my ex gf 40 days after she dumped me, it was great, but then a week later she treated me with big indifference, just because she knows I am at her feet any time at all. But somehow, it made me realize that what she's doing to me has no name. I'm not waiting her anymore, and I think the statistic about dumpers coming back regretting what they've done is high, so if she comes back I'll have the power to choose whether I take her back or not. Just keep moving on. It' funny how when there's a break up, the dumper gets weaker and the dumpee gets stronger, maybe it's some shared energy, maybe it's karma. Good luck in your healing process. 8)

1 year and 8 months. 59 days. She left me for another, and she said she doesn't know if she ever loved me or it was just an obsession. I'm 24, she's 23.

Let's get naked, life is a game, with rules, I'm a big chess fan and there's a beautiful quote from the second world champion Emanuel Lasker: "On the chessboard lies and hypocrisy do not survive long." That's life, life is just like a chess game, you do tactics, strategy, theory and practice, you can choose the way to go, the good way or the bad way, but after all, life is a game.

Hello. I had a similar phone situation with my ex gf than yours. And when I realized my ex gf was so interested about making the phone call longer, I thought she was coming back. I wasn't right. I made the biggest mistake, I started to contact her often. Now I'm in square one again (I don't mind, I'll take it as a patience exercise). My advice, Let him do the contact, let him chase you! Good Luck.

I have a question. Are you the dumper? If so, why don't you want to get back together with him? It could help me understand some things. Please reply, I'm feeling terribly sad

That's not a good question even when you are anonymous. Just keep using your hand until you understand what love is about.

-Pathetic -Loser -Immature -I'm not sure if I ever loved you or was just an obsession

Yeah, they must be intelligent enough to do whatever they please with their lives, don't go judging people!!

Nice poem, very hearty. Oh, love hurts a lot. Love bruises never seem to heal...

It's funny, I'm seeing you as a kind of mirror reflecting my situation. One thing, Why should we think in our ex coming back with the tail between the legs after lying and not being capable to ignore temptation? they left when they "loved" us, My ex gf dumped me when just the night before she had told me that she loved me. What we need to get back is not an ex, it's dignity!! if we are there for them we are gonna fall in the same mistake we did, and they will leave us for the next moron they like, and us? what about us?, We must give them a lesson, we must become the dumpers in heart, if they see indifference in us, they will regret their decision, and come back crawling. Don't let her take you for a friend, let her see her loss, I'm not doing NC, I'm doing now GTH for I don't want to know anything about her. Maybe you are in the first stages, and ignore me for saying these things but, I was her friend for a week and now she's ignored me, that's ex-now-friend's destiny. You shouldn't love your otherself, you should love yourself, and nobody else.

You are the dumper, you are supposed to break no contact. Why don't you call or mail him?, Just Pride? Mind games...

Hello I've stopped biting my nails 20 days ago, because I wanted to give my ex gf a good impression, she didn't like me biting my nails. It worked, she noticed. Sometimes I catch myself trying to bit them, but now I have cutted them VERY, VERY short, I wish this helps, if not, I'm gonna put some chili or excrement on my nails Good luck

Thanks dpressedone89. I hope you are right, though I can't see anything clear...

It's easy to say, but it's harder to keep in mind. We can either fool ourselves being happy or fool ourselves being sad.

Hello After my gf for 1 yr 8 mths dumped me because we were fighting a lot and she found a new bf, I first begged her, pleaded her to think about it, and realising it didn't work, she even said I was pathetic. well, she asked me for a month to think about it, I agreed and did nc but she called me 2 days later, just to know how I was, time passed and we had some nice moments on the phone, never talking about our relationship, then a month had passed and I didn't say anything, But I called her last Friday and invited her to take a coffee, she said: "Ok, let me tell you tomorrow..." I said ok and then I said I miss you, she just say: "really?". that was Friday. I were all Saturday at home waiting for her calling, she called at 10 pm and we were talking for an hour, when she was about to hang I told her if she had accepted my invitation for a coffe, she said coffe in the morning?" I said ok, let's go for an icecream, see you tomorrow. Then on Sunday morning we had a date, when we saw each other after being apart for 40 days, I was shocked to see her again, and so she was, she said I was totally changed, new pants, new shoes, and I was wearing a shirt she gave more than a year ago. She said I was an improved formula of myself. She was using the bag she was using when we meet for the first time, a very old bag. She has a lot of bags, why did she bring that one? We talked, laughted, and she told me her 5 year old niece was asking where I am, went for icecream in a place where there is a lot of people, at first I could control my emotions, she was looking a lot at my eyes, as she says she likes my eyes, we stood a while staring each other, then I embraced her, after a while of walking and me embracing her a lot and telling her how beautiful she was(I could not control my emotions) she said she had to go, I couldn't stand it and I tried to kiss her, she said no, I said nobody will know, she didn't accept she wanted to kiss me. Then I said I had to tell her a lot of things, that the month has elapsed, but I was still waiting, that I love her and I know I made a lot of mistakes in our relationship, that I could live with or without her but I know there is something special between us, she said she had some things to say too, but she had to go now and she had no time to say everything, that seeing me again was such a great thing, but... After a while I said: "but?" she said, oh, nothing I was not thinking about it anymore. We were silent, then when she was leaving I said: "Have you missed me?" and she said: "Yes, I've been missing you." and she gave me a little kiss in my lips, she left, I know she was going to see her bf. Now, I don't know what's her decision, didn't she say anything because she doesn't want to hurt me?, or because she's in a relationship now and doesn't want to cheat on her bf?, what should I do?, I'm moving on, but this date made me think even more about her and I'm not able to know her decision. I cannot stand uncertainty about this. Please, give me any advise so I can be more calmed. Thanks in advance.

Depressive, how could you tell your bf you had sex with the other guy?