Val

1. YES! 2. definitely, but not aways the same thing. I also like having his hands around my waist, massaging my lower back.

Hey I know how you feel because my boyfriend's BEST FRIEND is a girl. It bothers me as well because they have known each other for years and she has met his parents (they like her) just like I have. However, I have not been with him for 3 yrs! Right now, I still have my guy friends and he still has his girl who r friends. A little jealousy, of course, is always present. But if and when my bf and i get serious (like marriage) his girls are going to have to go. After all, why would someone need a friend from the opposite sex when he\she has found THE ONE. The truth is girls and guys just can't ONLY be friends. In the long run, one will ultimately fall 4 the other. Don't get me wrong ur boyfriend may love you more than words could possibly ever describe but she, may end up falling 4 ur man just like it could easily be the other way around. My best advice to you is talk to him about it. But if ur afraid that he'll only see it as mere jealousy plan outings for hmmm lets see . . . just the TWO of you. If he truly loves you this japonese face should be flushed in no time.

hey good poem! You should send it to some kind of contest. . . . .

Up till now, I've always thought guys and girls could be "just" friends. However I find I'm not so sure anymore. Can a woman and a man (who are both heterosexual) be BEST FRIENDS? I am somewhat curious because the person i am interested in has a best friend who is a girl. Nothing sexual has ever occurred between them and she is now living with a boyfriend. But could it be that HE has feelings for her? After all, it is easy for us girls to consider men as friends but I have been told that guys are never "only" great friends with a girl and there's ALWAYS that lingerig thought that just maybe they might hit it off. Is this true? In a way it makes sense in the long run. I mean how many faithful husbands do you see with girls who are "just great friends?".

Like I said before I know how you feel. I'm just getting over a break up myself and I hated to hear this but you'll feel better with time. Sorry to see you feel so down.

Listen sweetheart, it hurts me to see that your in so much pain but u need to pull yourself together girl!!! He might not have planned to move before his trip but now he has and as difficult as that may be, you cannot put your life on hold because of it. Furthermore you really shouldn't worry about this "new girl" because after all, you don't even know if it is true. Why put yourself through even more stress when there is a great possibility of her meaning absolutely nothing to him. You said As far as the first week of July goes, (you mention he's coming to Toronto that week) he may call you. Actually any decent man with half a brain and any sense of logic and compassion should call you just to know how your doing. But if he doesn't just take it as a sign that he no longer wants to see you, nothing more nothing less. Hope you feel better soon and that everything works out 4 the best.

A break up is always hard on both people of a relationship especially one that has lasted as long as yours. Evidently she has lingering feelings but that doesn't necessarily mean she wants you back. You honestly shouldn't be asking yourself why she keeps calling, just deal with it. She might be regretting the break up or simply be keeping you on the side for a "just in case I'd like to have him back" scenario. Eitherway, this is not and definitely WILL NOT let you get over her. You need to tell her that if she isn't willing to be your girlfriend again that you need her to stop calling. You don't have to be rude but BE FIRM because she obviously didn't understand the first time. Let her know that the ONLY reason why you don't wish to talk to her is because you need time for your feelings to disappear. And if she still calls you after this then she simply doesn't want to see you moving on. It's unfortunate, but I've seen many enjoy playing with their ex's feelings. If that's the case she will ultimately meet someone new and u'll be hurt even more. No contact really is the best way to go. Nonetheless, best of luck and hope to hear you guys get back together soon.

Hey John, it's never too late for reconciliation, especially in your case where you haven't seen ANYONE since her and neither has she. However, don't put your life on hold. You can try gaining her trust back but that doesn't necessarily mean she'll ever date you again. She knows you still want her and are still interested yet if she doesn't come forward there's nothing you can do to make her. Stay on speeking terms (as friends) because by imposing things you guys use to do as lovers will only push her further away. If you want her trust back, your going to have to start over from the beginning, meaning restart a new friendship (a long one) and then maybe she'll consider you as a lover again. But that is a MAYBE. If it were me I wouldn't forgive you, but then again I've nebver been in a 4 yr relationship. What you did is something that should have NEVER, EVER happened and I can't even begin to imagine how much you hurt her which is why she may not forgive u 4 it. But even then isn't it better to have her as a friend than out of your life? Wish you the best of luck and hope you learned from all this.

I'm glad to see you have the courage to sit down and express your feelings to your girlfriend. What you plan to tell her is great, definitely go for it. But realize that what she may not respond with what you wish to hear. You seem like a fine gentlemen with great respect for women and I don't think she realizes how lucky she is to have someone as caring and devoted. The only thing you can hope is that she'll do what she promises tonight but it will only be something exposed in the long run. There's not much advice to be given except that your doing the right thing. Hope everything works out.

awww you really shouldn't feel so down. Rejection, bad break ups, and being lied to, happens to all of us. Trust me I know, (read my post "Are All Guys Jerks?") Yes it's undesirable and the hurt we feel is more than any words could EVER describe. You don't mention what the girl did to you but unfortunately, there are many insensitve and egocentric people out there. However, you can't let THEM be the final chapter of your life! Go out and do something different. Join the gym or somekind of commercial youth group. If you hate ur life, change your old habits. It really isn't as hard as it looks. I'm only telling you this as someone who's gone through depression and am now as happy as ever to be here. Life was god's gift to you. By rejecting life you in reality rejecting god himself. On a furhter note, you will meet someone new and you will love that much again. I don't think it's so much HER you miss more the RELATIONSHIP, which are completely two different things. Hope you feel better soon,

Emma, I hope you realize that sometimes people make mistakes they regret for the rest of their lives. You come accross as such a sincere and considerate sweetheart. Unfortunately, ur man does not seem to possess the same qualities. You may be sitting there contemnplating what would be best for the two of you (and this unborn child) but all the while HE is only concerned how this could affect HIS life and HIS future. I can't tell you what it is you should do, as the decision is really up to you. But I will say this, my mother almost had an abortion when she fell pregnant of me (she was after all only 20) and I can't express in words how happy I am to be here today and I appreciate EVERYTHING she has EVER done for me. You said just don't feel I can have an abortion and why should I" Don't let yourself be pressured into doing something u may regret the rest of your life. You can't turn back the clock in the long run. . . . Hope this helps.

Although it may sometimes seem like many only date for fun, it really isn't the case. Afterall no one likes actually ending a relationship. I guess it's because we all secretly hope to find that one person we'll love forever. Don't get me wrong, there a few exceptions but as you get older you look further ahead and date people you can see yourself with in the long run. Also keep in mind that a third person ponit of view on a relationship will always be different than those IN the relationship. So when you see lovers heading towards the DEAD END, they may not even be realizing it themselves.

First of all does she know you used to date her friend? If not it would definitely be wise to tell her and then would be a good time to inform her on past mistakes. . . . However if she is aware and now has feelings for you then it obviously doesn't bother her. Personally, you shouldn't bring up ur ex/her friend unless ur girl does. After all she really isn't the one on ur mind ne more. If the sparks are flying between the two of you I say give it a go. What have you got to lose? However I caution such relationships. They often end badly with a mix of envy, jealousy and sometimes resentment. Sad but I've seen it happen from time to time. Best of luck and hope this helps,

No, don't end things right now. You'll see how you feel and will think more clearly while he's away. You might realize that you don't love him as much as you seem to think. Plus don't let the fact that he's older pressure you into doing things you do not feel comfortable with. I myself am 17 and was debating a relationship with a MUCH older man not too long ago. I now realized how important my teenage years are. We don't have to worry all about mortgage loans, taxes, electricity bills etc. and why should we?! After all, you don't want to look back when you 32 thinking you've missed out on an important part of your life. Another thing, (u said ur mother didn't like him) whatever you do make sure to maintain a precious relationship with her. Trust me, she is one of the only people who will ALWAYS be there for you when you need it the most.

He's probably only keeping these letters as memories. Irratating as hell, I know. But I agree with magda just put them in the garage. Just for further info. . . . my friend's parents divorced when she was in her early teens. The stepmother saw the ex-wife as much as twice a week. Point being, you will definitely be seeing this woman for the rest of your life and so will your bf. She will always somewhat have a presense in the household but don't let that bother you because he loves you now.