I have been with my boyfriend for almost three years. Although, we are not engaged, we talk about marriage all the time and use the words, "when we get married" and "our kids". He talks like he's sure that he wants to marry me and has since the beginning of our relationship.
Well, my boyfriend is the one of the sweetest guys in the world. He is very friendly to EVERYONE, men, woman, young, or old. He has always been interested in other cultures--especially Japanese. Several months agon, he mentioned that he met a woman 5 years older than the both both of us (we are both 21) when she came into the bank where he works (located in a Wal-Mart Supercenter). Well, he mentioned her and there and said that she is really nice to talk to. He told me the things they talked about while he waited on here. I didn't worry too much at first. Well, a little over a month ago, my boyfriend starts talking about her a whole lot. He says that she always ask about me whenever he waits on her. She asks him how I like school and what classes I am taking. He always says that she really wants to meet and that the three of us should all go out and have dinner and possibly watch a movie. Well, I'll admit that I am pretty jealous, so I became pretty angry at the idea. I suspected that the two of them only wanted us to all go out so that they could spend time together and get to know eachother outside of the work environment. Well, I mentioned this thought to my boyfriend and he said that I had nothing to worry about and said that he's just very interested in her culture, she's very nice and he enjoys talking to her, she's never been flirtatious with him, and that she could use a good friend like me because she doesn't have many friends outside of the work. He said he wanted me to be "good friends" with her. Well, after many arguments over the idea, I finally give in and tell him that I'll meet her. Well, I met her, and she seemed extremely nice and nothing seemed suspicious to me. Well, I email her about once a week and she always seems very happy to hear from me. She does "seem" genuine. The thing that bothers me is that my boyfriends interest in the Japanese culture has skyrocketed since he has met her. He wants to learn the language, live there, watches their television shows, etc. I don't know if he's interested in her because she's Japanese or if he's interested in the Japanese culture because of her. I think he talks to her a couple of times a week when she comes into the bank. I just wonder if she actually does banking that much or if she goes out of her way to interrupt his work and talk to him. Also, it bothers me because he wants us all to get together sometime soon and her and I cook at his house. He lives with his parents and he even mentioned the idea to them. It may sound stupid, but the thought of my boyfriend introducing her to his parents and inviting her into their home with welcome arms kills me, especially because she is super nice. It just makes me feel like he thinks she's special enough to "bring home to Mom and Dad" as if she's he "other" girlfriend. My boyfriend is supersweet, honest, and has Christian values, and this woman is very nice and intersting to talk to, but should I be suspicious? My boyfriend talks about marrying me every single day and gets really excited about it, but...I don't have a ring on my finger yet, so I still have my fears. Should I be suspicious of either of them...possibly both? Also, if my boyfriend was in the wrong, would he tell me everytime he sees and what they talk about, or is just being a very honest boyfriend? Possibly trying to make me jealous? This situation bothers me so bad that I have trouble breathing just thinking about it, and even have trouble resting at night. I've been dealing with things better, but it still bothers me. Sometimes I'm so sure that he truly loves me and is faithful to me, but other times I'm so afraid the he actually "likes" her and is too kind and respectful to break up with me and pursue her or to go anywhere beyond strictly friendship with her. I really appreciate any advice. Thank you.
