aireyc

I don't know your situation but I'd say you're way overthinking things. It's ok to talk to whoever you want to. Don't worry about complications and such. Afterall, look at myspace. Most of the people I talk to don't even live near me.

First of all I can relate as I'm also 17 just 3 months ago some woman asked if I was under 12 years of age. I'm 5'10 though so go figure. Anyway, there are tons of reasons why girls go for older guys. First it's because they're older. They can do more and if a girl can go out with an older guy she probably feels "cooler" amongst her friends. Secondly they all say girls mature quicker than guys, so a girl two years younger is usually going to be at the same maturity level. That's not always the case but it is most of the time. As far as if they think it's sick or not, yeah I'd agree it's sick for a 13 - 16 year old girl to have sex in the first place. As far as dating them goes? I say it's the same. I don't think girls should be dating at an age that they can't even drive. Hanging out is fine, but DATING? I wouldn't call it that. However if you're in high school and you want to "go out" with someone younger I don't see anything wrong with that. My parents are 4 years apart. My dad was in college and he was going out with a 10th grader. What would have happened if he listened to his friends? Yeah I wouldn't be here. It's not a big deal but hopefully that answers your questions. - Chris

I went to a Catholic grade school for 9 years and am now in a Catholic high school, so I've been in the environment for 12+ years. To tell you the truth I've never seen anyone that has cut so I don't know how everyone will react. However, despite what you think, Catholic schools aren't that much different from regular public schools. The kids are the same; the only real difference is the level of education, quality of teachers, and stricter rules. It all depends on the school and the people there, but the fact it is Catholic barely changes things other than the overall environment.

I really don't see what the big deal is here. I'm 17 and am waiting for marriage as I feel you should only have sex with someone you truly love. What's the point? Is it to be cool? Is it because it feels good? Is it because everyone else is doing it? If you're married that's one thing, but outside of that I really don't see why so many people care about it. Not only is there the emotional state, but if you insist on doing it before you're older, you must realize the repurcussions. First you can get a disease, possibly AIDS. That's something everyone wants! Not only could you get a disease but you could also get pregnant. Then you'll have to support the baby, add on the doctor's appointments and all of the stress for 9 months. If you think abortion then you're just killing another human so I don't see how that's a good thing. All in all I don't see why people are so into having sex in the first place, let alone at a younger age. So if you ask for an age? It's different for everyone. I'd say you're ready when you can realistically tell yourself "I am willing to risk getting a disease. I am willing to spend the next 9 months of my life carrying a baby. I am willing the spend the next 19+ years of my life raising a child." You're 13? Nineteen years (During pregnancy and until they're 18.) is almost 1.5 times your age. Are you ready for it, let alone by yourself?

It doesn't really matter how tall you are. You can always joke around about it, and of course there are some disadvantages, but all-in-all it's not as big of a deal as some make it out to be.

The way I see it is this: any social groups in school show lack of maturity. If people place you in one they are just going along with the crowd. If you want to keep a friendship just be yourself. It doesn't really matter how you act, you're going to be placed in one group or another for no particular reason. Just be yourself and if you can't stay friends then so be it. You'll have the most ups that way.

The best thing is communication. I'd just ask.

Up until the point where you mentioned the things you did I had sympathy for you. However, knowing that you've done the same yourself, I really wouldn't worry here. You may think you're meant for each other, however he clearly isn't ready for that emotionally. He may still not be 100% comfortable around you, so knowing at all is a plus. As Cydeways said be happy he loves you now. Unless he's done something to take advantage of you or if he's done anything during your relationship, I wouldn't take it to heart too much.

Whenever I do something that I really don't mean to do, I always just tell myself to stop doing it. I used to have OCD where I had to tap things a certain number of times. How did I stop that without taking any medication? I told myself it was stupid and I'd be an idiot to keep doing it. It may sound harsh, but I believe the easiest way is to just stop yourself. You will probably think about your ex more, however as long as all of the thinking includes NOT talking about him then you're fine. Think about him all you want. However every other thought must be "I can't talk about him in conversation." If you tell this to yourself enough then you will eventually get it out of your system. In some cases it will annoy you to the point where thinking about him at all makes you sick. Once this happens you will do anything to just drop the subject and he won't even cross your mind. To sum it up, you aren't thinking about him enough. Think more to the point of insanity where you will do anything to stop it. Then your problem will be solved. It's like reverse psychology on yourself. - Chris

Hey, It sounds like you've been through a lot. The good thing you have going for you is your attitude. It's hard growing up, having to deal with all that you have gone through. My best advice to you is to keep thinking positive and try to be the best you can be. You came here to ask for help and improve your quality of life. The only real way to do that is if you keep that mindset. Don't worry about your weight, but you can always lose it. The one part of you that is the hardest to control is your brain, so as long as that's going for you the rest is real easy. Personally I'm very skinny and it's hard for me to eat enough food to gain weight. I don't have a problem such as a disorder, however my metabolism is high. I also spend a lot of time inside so I don't get enough exercise. I'm 17 now and have realized that I need to do something so I've spent the last several months working out and eating healthier. Gradually I'm getting stronger and gaining some weight. You want to do the opposite, but you can do the same things that I am. Eat healthy and exercise a lot. Rather than sitting around and thinkng about your past, take that time to go out and do something that you know is helping you. You're still young enough where most of your life is ahead of you. You have plenty of time to be whoever you want to be. Remember though that that doesn't meaning changing who you are now. - Chris

Hey dude, Hit me up with a private message and I may be able to help you out. - Chris

My mom looked old for her age. What were the benefits? She's only been to Vegas twice in her entire life, both times she was underage by a year and two years respectively and was able to play at the tables. Now I'm not saying to do things illegally like the crazy people of the 70s, but be aware of how you look. Don't get too carried away with being able to act like a party girl, because you're not... yet. Enjoy it now, but control yourself. There's not much else you can do really.

It's normal for your age. Don't worry about it. Chris

Good post and link. Chris

Have you had sex recently? Is she on the pill and/or did you use protection? Give us some more info. Chris