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rat_freak

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  1. rat_freak
    I'm sorry but you never mentioned all the details in your first message. It was not my intention to make you feel like crap. All I said was that you should look at your situation and think not only about your own future but the child's as well. Yes I have made MANY mistakes and I wish I could go back and fix things. I wish I had listened to my parents and other people who were offering me advice too [harsh or not]. Also, I've watched many of my friends make mistakes, get married right out of high school and have children. They are now quite unhappy and I wish that your situation turns out better for you than it has for them. There are a few posts on this page you should take a look at too... about people who once were in your situation. all the best rat_freak
  2. rat_freak
    Hey, I know how you feel. I spent 5 years in school taking what I thought was the love of my life [art]. Now, $30,000 in debt, I hate it and I have no idea what to do with myself. Even a year ago I had all these great plans and ideas for future but it slowly fell apart. I find that if you don't worry about 5 years from, it's easier to manage the next few months. It will come to you... might take a few months, might take a year or two for you to find something you really enjoy doing. For now, I'm just trying to figure out how to get out of debt and save some money and go to Europe for a while... Maybe there'll be something there I like Maybe you could try looking for better paying work so you can keep your car AND have some money left over. Maybe work 2 jobs and take one or two classes somewhere. Find something fun in arts, design or even the gaming industry - if you're good at comic book art I'm sure you can manage and maybe you can entertain others and yourself too.
  3. rat_freak
    Have you even thought about how you will be supporting this child? Have you thought about where the money will come from and how you will finish school? You will need to go to school because no one will hire you. Where are you going to live and how are you going to provide all the things this child will need? Why would you want to bring a child into this world if you can't give him/her all the best things it deserves? As for your love, everyone is with THE ONE when they're 16. Think about 5 or 10 years down the road... another child without a father because you can't stand each other. Think about 2 months from when the baby is born... and he gets bored with changing diapers and getting up at night. If you aren't responsible enough to think about protection, you're not responsible enough to have a child.
  4. rat_freak
    If you hide your GF, she might feel you are embarrased to be with her. Best thing is to tell your friends but if you know they don't appreciate her company, don't do things that bring them together. Keep those who don't get along separate. Don't loose your friends over a gf or bf and don't give up the person you enjoy spending time with just because someone doesn't like her. rat_freak
  5. rat_freak
    I wouldn't say she's acting this way to make you pay more attention to her [by making you jelous]. Why don't you hint that you're not sure as to what their current relationship is. Ask her to explain why she's so excited by him trying to get in touch with her again... rat_freak
  6. rat_freak
    The first thing I would suggest is that you date for a while - before getting married. Only then will you know if you can spend the rest of your life with this person. Divorces are quite costly and if things don't work out, not only you will get hurt [financially and emotionally] but your kids will too if you want to have a family this early in your life. The second thing - I'd strongly suggest you give yourself some time before you start a family. It sounds like you worked hard to get where you are and are enjoying it. You have your entire life to have kids and once you do, there won't be much room for anything else. I'm 23 and I can't picture myself having kids now or in the near future - there are so many things I want to see and do and I know that with a family, none of those will be possible. Good luck with whatever you decide to do!
  7. rat_freak
    If this girl really loved and cared for you, she would not have cheated on you to begin with. If she wanted to work things out, she would also not have cheated on you after she promised not to do so again. It's not worth your time and nerves to worry about every move she makes and who she spends time with in fear she might be cheating on you AGAIN. As hard as it will be, you need to move on and find someone who will respect you and truly love you. rat_freak
  8. rat_freak
    I know it might be a bit too early to ask her to tell you how to make it better for her, but you can always try. Also, remember, even though it may feel awesome, we don't always end up with an orgazm in the end. As for making it last longer... why don't you try stopping for a while and get back to it a few seconds later...
  9. rat_freak
    Is he does that while he's with you, he has no respect for you or your feelings. Ask him if he'd like it when you looked at other guys while in his presense. He probably isn't going to chase after them [if he only looks]... but he should show some appreciation for the person who's with him - YOU!
  10. rat_freak
    Sounds a bit right. School's almost over and we both work crappy jobs that take alot out of us... so there isn't much time for other things. I know we have some things that still need to be talked about, but it seems like we should have other things to say to one another... becuase we were getting better... Thanks for your suggestions!
  11. rat_freak
    Could be. When we were fine and talked alot, we used to have sex just as much... I don't know...
  12. rat_freak
    Hi, My bf and I have been together for over 5.5 years now. We had a few major and a few minor fights like everyone, which we worked out. Things were ok until 1.5 years ago - he went to the east coast to work [internship for school]. We had a hard time doing the long distance thing [even though he visited a few times] and we had a few major and nasty fights. He came back in September and we were trying to work things out [and still are]. The only problem is that lately we don't talk... at all. It all seems to be small talk and it's starting to scare me. Last weekend, we sat silently watching TV. We used to talk for hours about this and that... and go out and hang out with people. Now, it's "let's have sex [which is the only thing that is still great] and then watch TV." I know we're both stressed from the school year ending and work, no money and I think we're both getting over some things we fought about before, but we're doing better. Can anyone suggest anything... or share their experiences... Anything's appreciated.
  13. rat_freak
    Hi. I know this is hard for you but I would say you should move on and leave the idea of getting back together with him. You will I'm sure change a lot while at school, especially since you've moved so far away from home. My bf and I were together for 4 years when he took an internship position on the West coast [we live on the East coast] for a year. We didn't break up and said we'd come back to be with each other. It was the hardest thing to do. We almost broke up a few times, went through so many nasty fights and hurt each other. After a year he came back and we're still together after A LOT of work, but things are not the same. We both changed, not drastically, but we have. This was over a year and he did visit a few times during. You'll be gone for 3 or 4 years and you'll meet people and do things that will change you and the same will happen with him.
  14. rat_freak
    I would also suggest you lunch elsewhere or cut your visits in half. Also, don't bother the girl at work [especially when she's busy]. I hate it when people do that, even my friends. It may make her feel awkward with other people around when you ask her. Also, I have customers who shop where I work regularly and I'm happy to see most of them - and while being nice to them, I have absolutely no interest in them.
  15. rat_freak
    When I was 16, all I thought about was moving out when I graduate. When grad came, I realized that my parents weren't doing/saying things to irritate me or to make life harder but to make sure I had a better life than they did. They did and still do care. As I look back, they were right about so many things. I wish I could go back and listen to what they had said. I know it's hard to get other people to understand you... but you'll get over it. You can't be too stubborn and you'll have to give in but you'll get so much more out of it.
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