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persephonesleeps

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  1. persephonesleeps
    Thanks. Today was hard...I get days that are just so hard. It is so tempting to just pick up the phone...but I know I have to stay strong so I don't get sucked back in to the push/pull relationship! I think that if we were 'supposed' to talk, our paths would have crossed by now.
  2. persephonesleeps
    I don't think emailing about feelings is a good idea. I did it once, and got majorly burned! It leaves you way too vulnerable...plus, they can print out the email and show people! Face to face is always best.
  3. persephonesleeps
    Every relationship has its wonderful moments...and it is only natural to remember these moments.
  4. persephonesleeps
    she sounds like someone to be avoided...what kind of person sends photos years later? Why did she even keep the photos??? That's messed up. You are better off without her! It hurt, because she re-opened an old wound...it's good that you burned the stuff!
  5. persephonesleeps
    I just got through 8 days of no contact...it felt like a month! This is sooo hard! Hopefully the next week will be a lot easier! I'm starting to realize that I did most of the work in the relationship...and that's probably why I still feel like initiating contact now.
  6. persephonesleeps
    when a relationship ends, I think that the person who was the most emotionally involved hurts the most I have seen both men and women take it really hard...what I have noticed is that who ever had the highest hopes, took the most risks, disclosed the most, etc...tends to end up feeling really burned you might notice more men on here because women can usually talk about such things with their women friends...where as men may not be able to talk with their male friends about their feelings? maybe men are more reluctant to cry, etc...in front of their male friends becuase they may be teased or ridiculed...but they can post here and be supported by others who relate to how they are feeling
  7. persephonesleeps
    It sounds like you are really hurting over this. You may day look back and think it was a blessing that she left. I honestly believe that what is yours will come to you. Think of it this way...now that this woman is leaving, the right woman can find you! You can never know what the future will bring...but waiting and waiting isn't healthy for you. You can finally stop waiting. You can finally stop wondering, 'what if'.
  8. persephonesleeps
    Think about the kind of people you would be compatible with, and then go to where you think they would go...which are probably places you already go to! When you are out walking and so forth, be aware of friendly faces...learn to say 'hello' to strangers...both male and female...a friend's a friend, right? I practice talking to strangers all the time...at first it is awkward, but once you get used to it, you can have some interesting conversations. If you notice that you keep running into the same people, that could be a really great sign!
  9. persephonesleeps
    to be blunt, I think he is using you...and you are letting him no contact for awhile would help you to see this for yourself think about what you would say to a friend who was having the same problem...now say those things to yourself you deserve to be treated with love and respect...people who are kind do not use other people for sex, etc.
  10. persephonesleeps
    wow...I say let this one go. no contact it sounds sooo unhealthy and messed up...why would you want someone like that in your life? you deserve to be treated with love and respect I think she might be messed up for a long time...she can't seem to let go of harmful people/situations do you really want this mess?
  11. persephonesleeps
    you deserve to be treated with love and respect he sounds immature, inconsiderate, and seems to lack awareness learn from it...try to let go...and move on I would suggest 'no contact'...it is very hard, as I am going through this myself...but I think it is the only way to heal once you realize he is not the one for you
  12. persephonesleeps
    posting here helps me with the 'no contact' thing reading other people's posts helps too...you are not the only one going through this I know that 'no contact' is sooo hard...but it does get a little easier every day someone who really wants you in his life would not ignore you for a long time... you might both need a break to sort through your feelings by yourselves hope this helps
  13. persephonesleeps
    If you think the obsession is harming you, I think you should stop contacting this 'friend'. Have you talked with him to get some closure? It is natural for people to crave what they can't have...but sometimes when they get it, it's not so great! Careful what you wish for! If you are not happy with your current bf, I suggest you talk openly and honestly with him about this. It sounds like you are addicted to the drama of this 'friend', but honestly, what kind of guy doesn't contact you for a year! That is so rude! What kind of friend is that???
  14. persephonesleeps
    I know what you mean about the hurting...it hurts so much to grieve the loss of what might have been. I feel hurt too...I feel sad that I am letting go. Sometimes I think, 'what if I could just be more patient'...but I have to be careful not to get caught up in that thinking, and just let it go! The 'what ifs' are just awful...and hopefully you are able to avoid that kind of thinking. No contact is helping me a lot...I need the time to feel all of these feelings so that I can heal from the experience. I have moments where I feel confused and lost...because I gave so much time and attention and energy to my ex! ...sometimes I wish I would have gotten out sooner...the longer I stayed in the push/pull relationship, the more damage it caused to my emotional well-being. I think that push/pull and off/on relationships are really unhealthy...and I know what to look out for now! Good luck!
  15. persephonesleeps
    Thanks for your advice. I'm glad that you are able to maintain a friendship with your ex...that takes a lot of maturity and readiness...and hopefully one of you is not still in love with the other...because that could hurt a lot if she/he meets someone else. I know that I need to move on...and actually posting here is helping me to do that. I don't want someone who doesn't want me...and I don't want to try to be friends with someone if that isn't mutual. I'm starting to realize that it just isn't meant to be. I have one worry though...what if I am contacted later on? How do I resist falling into the push/pull pattern all over again?
  16. persephonesleeps
    that's good advice...because when I think about how we communicate I don't get a good feeling at all...it always seemed like no matter what I said, the other person just didn't 'hear' what I was saying
  17. persephonesleeps
    Thank you for your advice, both of you. It's good to not feel all alone. I think if it was truly meant to be, I would not feel so sad about it all. I know there is someone out there who I would be much more compatible with...and I won't find that person (or even notice that person) until I let this all go! No contact is very hard, and I sympathize with anyone trying it.
  18. persephonesleeps
    I thought we were trying to remain friends...but it turned out I was the only one willing to invest emotionally. I sent a letter last Thursday...and no response. I have this funny feeling that when I least expect it, I am going to be contacted. It was an on again/off again relationship (three years)...and then we had an on again/off again break-up! Has anyone else had a hard time just letting go and stopping all contact for several months? I can do the no contact thing for about a month, and then I just cave in. I don't think friendship is possible, because a friend wouldn't treat me like this. Any advice would be great!
  19. persephonesleeps
    I think it is healthy to be alone for awhile after a break-up...it gives you the chance to grieve and to heal.
  20. persephonesleeps
    Have fun! You might make a new friend, or maybe even more. If you aren't compatible, at least you gave it a shot...and he might have a brother or a friend you'd like to meet! If you don't feel attracted to him, but have a friend who might be, you could always arrange another blind date for him! Who knows? He might return the favour! Good luck!
  21. persephonesleeps
    Just be yourself. I am vegan, and I like it when people order what THEY want to order. It bothers me when people try to please me...it makes me think that they are too insecure to just be themselves. When I invite someone over for lunch or dinner, I make vegan meals. I know that some vegans and vegetarians won't date people who eat meat...so it might be something worth talking about on this date...it could be a 'red flag' for you.
  22. persephonesleeps
    I don't think it is a gender thing. Maybe she wasn't ready for the same level of committment that you are obviously ready for? You sound incompatible at a fundamental level...you are willing to do the work, and she is NOT. Why would you wait around for someone who is NOT willing to do the work. It sounds like she wants out...can you let go? This might not sound like what you want to hear...but this could be a blessing in disguise. Imagine what life would be like if you had stayed together. Imagine if five years from now, you are still going through this push me/pull me garbage? Six years is a long time...but it could have been 26 years! Stay strong! You deserve better!
  23. persephonesleeps
    she sounds confused wants to have her cake and eat it too do you still have feelings for her? or is it truly over for you? if you are truly done with the relationship, you could ask her to stop contacting you, also, you could clearly tell her that you will not respond to phone messages or emails either now...if you still have feelings for her, ask her not to contact you unless she is single and willing to work at the relationship good luck!
  24. persephonesleeps
    I'm sorry you're going through this. I agree...detach...no contact. She is confused, and she'll stay confused for as long as you put up with it! You want her to come to you on her own free will...so don't chase her anymore. She knows how you feel, it's up to her to figure out how she feels. I'd say no contact for at least a week...see what happens. It's takes two...it is not right for you to do all of the work. Good luck!
  25. persephonesleeps
    at least you know the truth some women will string you along forever just for the attention...and you would always be wondering and waiting maybe she knows someone you'd like?
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