Jump to content

persephonesleeps

Members
 View Profile  See their activity

  • Posts

    74

  • Joined

 Content Type 

Everything posted by persephonesleeps

  1. persephonesleeps
    She broke it off because she was scared...she felt overwhelmed by her feelings and the intensity between us...that was several months ago. She also said that she was uncomfortable, but couldn't figure out why. I was devastated...I couldn't eat or sleep. I never did anything 'wrong'...we never argued, I never raised my voice, never swore at her, never hurt her in anyway at all. I was always loving and kind, patient, and very giving. I gave her whatever she wanted. I can't figure out what went wrong. At first I tried a few times to communicate, but she ignored me. She sent a few emails saying that she felt uncomfortable and needed space. That's when I started to use 'no contact', I needed to heal and get over the loss...I also did not want to bother her any more. I cannot let go because I don't know her side of things...and I feel like I really need to talk with her to understand everything. I still love her, but I want closure on the past, and maybe I will be willing to try again IF that is what she also wants. She was very hot/cold in the relationship, she would pull me in, then push me away. Should I call her next week to set a date to meet? I really don't know if it is healthy for me to be waiting like this...
  2. persephonesleeps
    I called my ex...and asked if we could talk with one another, face to face. My ex said yes, maybe next week...but would not set a date. I did not want to push, so I now have to be patient and wait to be contacted. I think I did the right thing by calling, because I thought about it for a long time, and I was calm, and I was truly prepared to hear 'no I don't want to talk with you'. I have no idea what will happen...part of me thinks my ex won't even contact me again. If I don't hear back, do you think I should give up? How long should I wait to hear back before I call again? Any advice would be welcome. Thanks.
  3. persephonesleeps
    give her a chance to respond to the letter...and then go from there people need time after getting a letter like that...don't push her try to be patient
  4. persephonesleeps
    Thank you for you thoughts. I am sorry to hear about your situation. I actually ended up calling my ex...and asked if we could talk with one another, face to face. My ex said yes, maybe next week...but would not set a date. I did not want to push, so I now have to be patient and wait to be contacted. I think I did the right thing by calling, because I thought about it for a long time, and I calm, and I was truly prepared to hear 'no I don't want to talk with you'. I have no idea what will happen...part of me thinks my ex won't even contact me again. If I don't hear back, do you think I should give up? How long should I wait to hear back before I call again? Any advice would be welcome. Thanks.
  5. persephonesleeps
    Have you talked with him about how this makes you feel? Does he know that you feel like he pushes you away? Does he know how you feel about his ex contacting him? If he truly wants to be married to you, you should come first...not some ex-girlfriend.
  6. persephonesleeps
    she is not single she is not available don't waste your time and energy there are single women out there
  7. persephonesleeps
    ...and oh, another thing...if someone is feeling 'smothered' that doesn't mean you have done anything wrong...it might not even be about anything you have done. Different people like different levels of closeness. If you loved someone, and you felt that person was not giving you enough space, wouldn't you talk with him about this and try to compromise?
  8. persephonesleeps
    Some people need more space than others. From what you have shared, I don't see any evidence of what I would consider to be 'smothering'. Everyone has different needs and wants in a relationship. The next time you are in a relationship, I hope that there is more open, honest communication...it seems as though this guy is laying all the blame on you...and for some reason, you seem to be accepting that. I think it is important not to allow others to define who and what we are. I think it is also important for being to communicate their wants and needs openly and honestly in any type of relationship if it is to last!
  9. persephonesleeps
    If you like him, talk to him directly. He may be too shy or too embarrassed to admit his feelings to your friends, or even his friends. It is always best to go straight to the source!
  10. persephonesleeps
    can you give more information???
  11. persephonesleeps
    I think it is okay to write whatever you need to write...but sending it is another story altogether. Keep in mind, that when you put something in writing, and send it, there's no taking it back.
  12. persephonesleeps
    Thanks everyone for your advice and for sharing your stories. I like the point that one day we will on be looking back at this board! I wish everyone well. Let's all stay strong!
  13. persephonesleeps
    Hey...there's nothing wrong with writing the letter...that might help you a great deal actually...just do NOT send the letter.
  14. persephonesleeps
    There is nothing wrong with getting to now someone...just go slow. Be honest with everyone concerned. This girl may be in a similar situation herself.
  15. persephonesleeps
    I think email is a cowardly way of contacting you...I think if she really cared, and was ready for something real (friendship, relationship, whatever) she would call you. Think about this: if you email back, you will be sitting there waiting for a reply. Do you really want to go through that? I think that if you chose to talk with her, it should be face to face...so that you can pay attention to her voice (tone, etc), her body language, etc. What does your intuition tell you?
  16. persephonesleeps
    so what happened??? did you kiss her yet???
  17. persephonesleeps
    okay...I am going to be very blunt I apologize if my words hurt your feelings...but this might help: She is probably addicted to her ex-girlfriend. You are probably addicted to her. BOTH of you want what you CANNOT have...and this is probably why you are so attracted to one another. You are NOT going to have a healthy relationship with her...she has issues and problems to work through. She has NOT healed over her breakup, and is NOT ready for another relationship...this is obvious. You are caretaking...which is not empowering for her, nor is it healthy for you. If she truly wants to let go of this woman...and it sounds like she does NOT want to...she would have to cease ALL contact. You are NOT in her heart, this woman is...there is no room for you right now. Maybe later on she will be ready for what you have to offer, but right now she is emotionally UNAVAILABLE. stop hitting your head against the wall...there are women out there who would want you...but this woman does NOT
  18. persephonesleeps
    I think the two of you should have an open, honest conversation...face to face what do you presently feel? what does your intuition tell you? what do you want and need from a relationship? and CAN she, WILL she give you what you want and need there are people out there who are very fickle, and will keep stringing you along for as long as you allow them to
  19. persephonesleeps
    whoa...sounds confusing! okay...why not ask him (face to face) why he is blocking you? if he gives you some *bs* story, I'd say drop him...you don't need friends like that! ...honest opinion...he sounds like a player
  20. persephonesleeps
    follow your heart on this one I think you already know that there's not much hope for you and her at this point in time. if she is choosing a creep...that's her choice...and it says a lot about the kind of guys she is attracted to. if you think she is in actual danger, you might want to speak up though...and yes, maybe later, she will look back and appreciate your concern do what is right for you
  21. persephonesleeps
    cut off all contact my on again/off again situation went on for years!!! these people want to have their cake and eat it too...they are NOT consistent...one day they want you, the next day they want 'space' If you want a stable relationship, you will NOT get that with this guy! no contact is really, really, really hard...especially at first I journal everytime I want to talk to my ex...that helps a great deal posting here, reading posts, that helps tremendously letting go is super hard...but how much longer can you let this go on? imagine if in five years you are still on again/off again...what will you have missed out on? I know it's hard when you love someone...but you HAVE to love yourself too! Look, this guy is being totally selfish...and it is hurting you...does he even realize that??? You deserve better! Just keep telling yourself that you deserve better!
  22. persephonesleeps
    someone who treats you like that can't be trusted! you deserve better! you can do much, much, much better than this!
  23. persephonesleeps
    I can relate to how you are feeling. Maybe if you spent less time with him, and more time with available men, you would feel a lot better. It is impossible to hold on and let go at the same time.
  24. persephonesleeps
    I am doing 'no contact'...some days are really hard. I have been journalling like mad! I haven't run into the ex recently, which has helped tremendously. I am realizing more and more everyday that my ex would have never had the courage to have a face-to-face conversation with me so that we could both have some closure and move on. For all you other people out there seeking closure, don't wait around for your ex! Try to get closure on your own, so that you can get on with your life. We all deserve to be treated with love and respect!
  25. persephonesleeps
    I would also recommend no contact. I am doing no contact right now (the relationship was always on again/off again, push/pull...and it was driving me crazy) and it is hard...but it is worth it. He is probably not the guy for you if you want an emotional connection...he seems to want just sex. I think it is terribly difficult to be friends with someone when you actually want more than that. There is someone out there who would appreciate your love and affection (not just the physical parts) more than this guy presently can. I would NOT recommend waiting...I waited for three years...and I regret it now!
×
×
  • Create New...